Mangled Spells and Manly Bits

Spike’s mood was just as dark when the reached the house. Xander tried to not notice the steel grip around his wrist as Spike unlocked the door and pulled him in. Rather than going to the living room with its exit to the kitchen, Spike pulled them into the sitting room which they had set up for their various video games. Xander didn’t comment as Spike propelled him into the small room that had only one exit, the doorway Spike stood in.

“Do ya feel that differently about us now?” Spike demanded, and the vampire searched his coat pockets until he finally came up with a cigarette. Xander didn’t answer; he just retreated to a chair on the far side of the room. “Bloody hell, why are you smellin’ all fearful over there?” Xander looked up to see Spike’s yellowed gaze staring straight at him, a lit cigarette in his hand.

“It might have something to do with the whole fangy look,” Xander shrugged and dropped his gaze back to the floor, busying himself with various ways to kill Angel. I mean, giving him to Spike once, that was bad, but to give him away a second time? Oh yeah, Xander was soooo going to tell Buffy. And god, did Giles misplace some of his manly bits because he was definitely feeling the estrogen here.

“Pet,” Xander jumped when delicate hands with chipped black polish landed on his legs, the vampire kneeling down in front of his chair. Xander looked at Spike’s face and could almost see the pain, but better now than later. “You want me gone then? Now that the spell’s off, ya want me ta leave?” Spike asked, and Xander opened his mouth to say yes, but he couldn’t get the lie past his lips.

“I just don’t want to be here when I screw this up,” Xander said, realizing a half a second too late that his one logical brain cell had managed to take a vacation again. A cool hand touched his cheek, and Xander flinched back.

“I’m goin’ ta eat every one of one of those wankers,” Spike growled and Xander tried to shrink back into the chair.

“Hey, no eating the friends, thought we had this discussion. Or sort of, we in that the girl me and you had this discussion. But still, I distinctly remember conversation happening.

“They’ve bloody well convinced you that you’ll screw up, and that puts them on my short list. You’re not some bloody screw up no matter what bollocks they’ve been feedin’ ya.”

“Oh they don’t have to feed me anything, they just have a habit of pointing out the truth about me being of the not helpful sort.”

“Bloody git. You’re the one who brought the slayer back from the dead, and while I don’t generally condone saving slayers, you can’t hardly dismiss that as unhelpful.”

“Yeah, but I fall asleep on Oz watch and humiliate myself in front of Buffy and go lusting after Willow and you kind of know that part because you were there for the whole failed de-lusting thing..”

“Pet.” Xander looked up at Spike’s serious tone. “Do ya still want me?” Xander looked into those clear blue eyes and he knew the answer.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“That’s all that matters, pet. Nothin’ else has changed.”

“Oh a few things changed,” Xander said with a glance downward toward his crotch, but Spike caught his chin in his hand and made him look at him.

“Nothin’ has changed. You’re still you and I’m still me. Soddin’ gits redecorated the outside a bit, but that doesn’t change who we are.” Spike suddenly stood and dropped his cigarette in an abandoned mug.

Spike took Xander by the wrist, strong fingers pulling him unwillingly up the stairs even as Xander asked himself what the hell he was doing. He should have just said ‘no.’ He should have stopped this before it got started because he wasn't gay, no matter what his cock claimed right now. Nope, the fact that the thought of sex with a male vampire made his body jump up and take notice didn't mean he was gay. He didn’t even know how to be gay, so no gayness for him. He was passing on the Dorothy parade.

Spike started toward the playroom, and Xander now started dragging his feet. That room had some beautiful memories that he didn't want to ruin with his own clumsiness, but despite his reluctance, Spike wouldn't be deterred. Throwing the door open, Spike pulled him into the room and then took his post guarding the doorway.

"So, I explained how it works for vamps, so what do ya want?"

"Outta this room?" Xander quipped as he wrapped his arms around his middle and tried to physically shrink into nothing.

"Pet," Spike said in a soft voice, "I'm not givin' ya up, so ya got a choice here." Xander backed up as Spike slid out of his shirt.

"Don't I hear Buffy calling? 'Cause I wouldn't want to keep her waiting," Xander said in a not-so-veiled threat, but Spike just sighed.

"If that's the way ya want it, pet," Spike said, and before Xander could decipher that remark, he found himself being dragged toward the chains, Spike striping his shirt and securing him before he could complain or fight, not that he had an illusion than either would help. Nope, getting chained up seemed inevitable from the moment he woke up with a penis. Xander slumped against the chains and tried to breathe.

"Can't think I'd hurt ya, pet," Spike whispered, and Xander felt a cool hand run up and down his back before beginning to circle. He closed his eyes and tried to channel Oz with all that self-possessed confidence and indifferent attitude. Instead, he found himself blinking to keep tears from falling.

"I can make ya feel good," Spike promised, and Xander felt fingers at the waist of his sweats making him shiver. He didn't move as Spike pushed his sweats down around his ankles, and he noticed with a bit of pride that his cock now hung limp and his balls were actively trying to crawl back up inside his body.

"Not gay," Xander pointed out, both relieved and worried about his lack of interest in Spike. If he and Spike weren't lovers, as his cock currently seemed to indicate, that left exactly one option in his mind, and he didn't really want to think about the fact that he was chained in the lair of a vampire he wasn't sleeping with any more. Of course, even not thinking about that option made his balls take another run at becoming internal organs despite Spike's hand exploring his backside and teasingly trying to reach between his legs which remained firmly together.

"Oi, ya really aren't goin' along with this, are ya?" Spike asked, and Xander didn't answer--he really didn't have an answer that wouldn't result in his becoming a statistic, but then again he expected that anyway so he didn't know why he was giving up his last chance to mouth off. He felt fingers at his wrists, and then he was free and backing toward the window with Spike stalking toward him.

"Oh boy," Xander breathed heavily and half turned toward the window before closing his eyes. He could feel when Spike pressed into him, a rustling of fabric against his skin. Nice last words, idiot, he had time to think to himself before he realized that Spike had backed off. He opened his eyes to find the drapes pushed back to either side, the window open to the weak moonlight that filtered in and the empty fields and power station through the glass. Xander turned his and saw Spike standing in the middle of the room, his own hands chained above him. Reaching down to pull up his sweats, he stood looking at the vampire.

"Spike?" he asked, but the vampire stood there unmoving with a closed expression. Xander took a single step toward the door and then another and then he found himself running down the stairs and out into the sharp air of the early morning. He had run for several blocks, shirtless and shoeless before he slowed to a walk, his heart struggling to slow. He had walked another couple of blocks before his brain started actually processing what had happened. Spike hadn't raped him, which was actually an improvement over their relationship when Xander had been a girl. More surprisingly, Spike hadn't eaten him. Even Impata had eventually turned to him for a meal, and he'd never doubted that she'd cared about him.

Xander had walked a couple more blocks, before he turned to the image of Spike chained in the middle of the room, his pale chest reflecting the moonlight. Moonlight. Xander's brain stuttered like a stuck record. Moonlight. Light. Moon. Xander gasped and looked at the sky. The sun wasn't up, but he could see the first pink lines beginning to appear. Xander felt like a demon had reached in his chest and ripped out his heart...actually lost a couple of seconds looking for the heart ripping demon before he took off running as fast as he could. By the time he reached the house, his breathe came in labored gasps and his feet stung from a dozen different scratches, but he ignored his own body as he crashed into the door. Locked. For a second, Xander stopped and panicked, looking up at the pinking sky.

Xander turned and saw a lawn gnome in the neighbor's yard. Spike had made fun of it every time they walked by, but now Xander dashed over and grabbed the red and white smiling wood before running back to his own yard and swinging the thing like a bat into the living room window. The glass shattered, and Xander swung a leg over the window sill, trying to jump free of most of the glass but not taking time to pick the glass out of his foot as he limped up the stairs using the banister. He reached the door to the playroom which still stood open, and he threw himself into the room, ignoring Spike in his quest to reach the window. With pink and blue tendrils snaking their way into the sky, Xander pulled the sun-proof drapes, checking to see that the two panels met before he turned to look at the chained vampire in the middle of the room.

"You idiot," he complained as he sat on the floor and considered his bleeding foot.

"Won't be left again, too many bloody people have left me already, pet," Spike commented nonchalantly, as if he hadn't been minutes from turning to dust with no way to save himself.

"Yeah, well the whole expecting me to notice the window thing, not smart. Don't ever underestimate my ability to be clueless," Xander said as he tried to grab a slick piece of glass and pull it out of his foot.

"Oi, you're hurt."

"Not as bad as the living room window. Or the stairway carpet. And we need to buy the neighbor a new lawn gnome." Xander looked up and Spike was giving him one of those really cute confused as hell looks. "Locked myself out of the house," Xander said as an explanation, and then he stood on his one good foot and hopped over to the shelf for the key before freeing Spike. Silently, Spike scooped him up and took him to the master bathroom where Xander found himself put on the counter while Spike ran water into the sink.

"Bloody git, what the hell were you thinkin'?" Spike asked as delicate fingers explored Xander's foot finding and removing glass shards.

"Thinking my vamp was about to turn to dust," Xander said honestly.

"Didn't think I was yours anymore," Spike commented.

"Okay, I don't know how this works or what to do or even how I'm going to admit this to anyone else, but I don't want to give you up. So can I go with, I want you but have no idea what to do about it?" Xander asked shyly.

"Can live with that," Spike shrugged as he drained the water and dried Xander's foot. "Just thought ya didn't want me."

"I guess I just couldn't believe you'd want me: Mr. drove Willow to the dark arts to get rid of me; Mr. can't get a date; Mr. screw up; Mr. demon bait."

"Pet, don't talk that way 'bout my mate. Bit protective of him, and I might just get testy," Spike ordered with a slight snarl before picked him up and carrying him to the bed. And suddenly a snarling vampire dragging him off was cute again, Xander realized.

Spike set him on the edge of the bed and pulled the sweats off for a second time. While Xander Jr. certainly didn’t look entirely enthusiastic, at least this time he was showing some interest.

“What do ya want, pet?” Spike asked, and boy that stopped the proceedings because Xander only knew of one thing gay guys did, and having intimate knowledge of Spike’s anatomy, he *knew* that wasn’t going to fit. Okay, assuming that was out, what did he want?

“Someone to wave a magic wand and make with the wiggins stopage?”

“Oi, no more mojo!” Spike insisted with an exaggerated shudder. “Ya trust me?”

Xander paused. When he really thought about it his life consisted of his parents (yep, zero trust there); Giles (since when does the guy who raised a killer orgy demon and hid it for twenty years get to rip into the guy who makes one little tiny teeny error with a love spell and then fesses up); Buffy (yeah, thanks for the humiliation on the dance floor); Cordelia (okay, maybe not Cordy because she wasn’t actually talking to him anymore); and Willow (who he would have trusted until the whole secret de-lust thing, which actually upset him a whole lot more than the girly thing). And he forgave all those people; he truly did, but when he compared them to the stunning creature now sitting on the end of their bed, he knew the answer.

“Yeah,” Xander said and he meant it. “Trust you more than anyone else in the world.” Spike froze, his head lowered to a foot above the bed, looking at him as though searching Xander’s soul. Finally, Spike gave a long, slow, genuine smile.

“Well then, luv, don’t you worry ‘cause I can show ya all sorts of stuff ta do with manly bits.”