Nocturnal Bravura Book Three: Children Of Destiny

Chapter 12

Between Sleep and Awake


Spike glared at Willow. “What gave you the right, Red!” He yelled. Lizzie whimpered in his arms.

“I didn’t mean to! Wait, you’re one to talk that’s how you know!” Willow argued.

“You went into her head too! You saw the same things I did.”

“That was different. She was under a thrall when she told me those things,” Spike defended himself.

“Right and being in a thrall is so much better than me accidentally going a bit overboard on my powers,” Willow said, rolling her eyes.

“Look I don’t have to...”

Lizzie cried out again.

Spike held her tightly in his arms pressing his cheek against hers. He closed his eyes. “You think you know her, don’t you? All of you think you know what broke her? Bloody idiots. She was never that delicate.” he said, looking down at her.

“Been through hell and back. Lost my Mum, lost me, then Joyce. You thought that’s what made her do it.”

“We thought it was that, and what she told us after,” Willow said quietly.

“What the part about her knowing I was the Slayer before I died, or about her being with my Mum the night she died?” Spike asked.

“You knew?” Willow asked shocked.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Of course I did, you daft bird! Like I said; she told me in her thrall. That, and I have been inside her mind so many times. Trying to help her…Trying to make her better, but she would never let me help. All those bloody pictures in her head,” he choked out.

Willow sat on the floor. “She didn’t tell me I didn’t know.”

Lizzie whimpered again. Opening her eyes, she smiled up at Spike. “Spike you’re here,” she whispered.

Spike smiled down at her, brushing the hair away from her flushed face. “Yes Luv, I’m here.”

“Where are we?” she asked, looking around in confusion.

“She’s hallucinating, Spike. Go along with it. It might help her stay calm,” Willow murmured, closing her eyes as she concentrated on the images on Lizzie’s mind.

Spike gave her an Eskimo kiss. “We’re in your room, luv,” he said, using his thrall to soothe her.

“Of course,” Lizzie answered, accepting his words to be truth. “Is Dawnie downstairs?”

Spike nodded. “Reading. You’re Mum is resting in her room,” Spike lied.

Lizzie nodded. She smiled resting her head on Spike’s chest. “So what do you think?” she asked.

“What do I think of what, luv?”

“Tara,” Lizzie giggled.

Spike shut his eyes tightly, a look of intense pain on his face. “Can you pull her out?” he begged.


Willow concentrated. “I...I can try, but I think she is going to want to play out the memory,” she explained.

Spike nodded and sighed heavily. “All right then.”

FLASHBACK
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Lizzie lay in Spike’s arms. It was a quiet day. The sun was shining brightly through the window and illuminated her room with a golden glow.

Spike kissed the top of Lizzie’s head. “Morning, luv,” he whispered.

She smiled, snuggling into his arms. “What time did you get here?”

“A few hours ago. You were pretty out of it. Still kicking that flu?”

Lizzie nodded. “I think I will be o.k. I hate missing school,” she said, trying to keep a straight face.

Spike laughed. “Right! You hate missing school about as much as I do.”

Lizzie sighed. “It’s just hard. Everyone keeps talking about getting into college. What they want to be when they grow up. I feel like a fish out of water.”

“Why is that, luv?” he asked. He rolled her onto her back and leaned over her, his eyes filled with all the love he felt for her.

She shrugged her shoulders, a tiny frown between her eyes. “Just don’t think I will be doctor or a lawyer. I don’t know it just doesn’t seem like me,” Lizzie said.

Spike hugged her tightly and tried to kiss away her frown. “How about wife of famous rock musician?” he teased.

Lizzie laughed. “Now that I can do.”

Spike closed his eyes. He knew that would never happen either. Damn Slayer calling...

But here with Lizzie he could dream...

“We could tour city to city. Go to Europe. I would take you to England. Marry you in that garden I keep talking about,” Spike said softly.

“Mrs. Spike Giles,” Lizzie said with a dreamy sigh.

“Then we would take the world by storm. Well, at least until the kids came along.”

Lizzie looked into his eyes. “You want to have kids with me?” she asked, her voice choked with emotion.

Spike kissed her on the lips lightly. “Of course I do, luv. I want a daughter first. I want her to look just like you; petite and perfect.”

“But with your eyes.” Lizzie insisted.

Spike kissed her again. They snuggled closer as they dreamed out loud.

“What will we name her?” He asked.

“I like the name Tara. Always have,” Lizzie said.

“Tara it is then...Tara Elizabeth Giles.” Spike announced, liking the way the name rolled off his tongue.

“Elizabeth?” Lizzie made a cute face.

“Why not? Blokes are always naming their sons after them. I want our daughter to be named after her mother.” Spike said. It made perfect sense to him.

“Tara Elizabeth Giles.” Lizzie said her smile incandescent.

***

Three weeks later Lizzie was sitting in the bathtub, the warm water cooling around her.

Spike was dead. She never got the chance to tell him. She had wanted to that night, but she fell asleep. If only she had stayed awake. If only he had known; he would have never gone out. But now it was too late.

She rubbed her stomach. She thought about telling Giles at the memorial service. About telling William the day before, but it seemed wrong.

Spike should have known first. He should have known he was going to be a father...

Lizzie stood up to get out of her bath. She was reaching for her towel when she suddenly felt a cramp in her side. She grabbed the sides of the tub until her knuckles turned white. No. No. This wasn’t happening. Taking a deep breath, she tried to stand again.

“Oh No. God…NOOO!” she wailed, watching the blood pour down her legs.

She watched as the blood dripped down her legs.

End of Flashback
_________________________________________________________________

“She lost it.” Willow said, snapping out of Lizzie’s mind.

Spike nodded slowly, his hands incredibly gentle on Lizzie’s hair. “Felt like she let everyone down. She didn‘t. Most of all she felt like she didn’t protect our baby. That somehow it was her fault. Thought if she had been stronger it wouldn’t have happened. Silly girl. She is the strongest girl I have ever met beside my Mum,” he whispered.

He looked over at Willow. “She tried to kill herself for all the reasons you thought she had. But this was the thing she that haunted her. After her Mum died and that bitch told her she was a danger to Dawn, she convinced herself that was why it happened. That she was dangerous and that she let my Mum down. That’s why she did it in the bloody bathroom. She wanted to die in the same place she lost our...” Spike’s voice faltered as he cried.

“Oh God, Spike,” Willow whispered. “I’m so sorry. So very, very sorry.”

Just then William and Oz ran in with a vial. “We got it,” Oz announced.

Spike moved off the sarcophagus and allowed William to take Lizzie in his arms.

He quickly poured the sticky substance down her throat. Lizzie went limp and her body temperature dropped rapidly to what was normal to her. His arms tightened around her as she slipped into a healing sleep. “Is she going to be all right?” he asked.

He turned to Spike, but he was gone.

Willow touched Lizzie’s face, her eyes misted with tears. “She’s going to be fine.”