Chase This Night

Hey I’m back… again! And I bring gifts. Enjoy and feed. Ya'll remember this right... right?

Part 20

That awful scarlet had faded to black. Or more accurately gray. It was a color Faith knew all too well. But it wasn’t the calming tone of a cool overcast sky, and it wasn’t the warm comfort of that blanket she loved back when she was nine.

This gray was dirty. Concrete walls, framed by solid steel; corroded with the grime and anger only time could provide. Time like twenty to life.

It was all too familiar to Faith and it made her heart seize in her chest, a sudden stop from the racing tempo of just an instant ago. Was it just an instant ago? It felt like forever… how long had she been here? Faith couldn’t breathe she the stale air felt like ice as she tried to suck in one ragged breath after another.

She couldn’t be back here! Not in this box, not sitting on this rock hard mattress staring at the cracked and crooked mirror on the wall, the rusted out sink it was all just as she had left it. If she left it!?

How long had she been here?

Faith looked at her hands.

Her clean trembling hands. That just a moment, or, forever ago had been covered, drenched with blood. Buffy’s blood. God what had happened?!

She’d killed her, and the realization, the reality of it slammed into Faith with a force she’d never known.

Her breath hitched, she squeezed her eyes shut, and she tried to hold back the hot tears that were burning acid-hot in her throat. She failed and a harsh sob echoed off the gritty walls.

The stark sound was like a shock though. And Faith found herself sitting back up again, looking around, LISTENING around. Silence, complete and total.

And that just wasn’t right. At least, judging from Faith’s experience on D-block. Prison was never silent. There was always noise, someone screaming, someone crying, cumin’ or dying. But never silence.

Faith stood up, cautious, running her hand quickly across her damp eyes. She took the five quick steps that put her face to face with steel bars. If it wasn’t real she could just walk right outta here right? Her hands came up, wrapped around the metal and she pushed. They didn’t budge.

“What the fuck?” She asked no one, ‘cause no one was there.

Faith was fairly convinced now that this was a dream, or still a dream… new or the same, she couldn’t be sure. She didn’t care either. She just wanted out.

“Wake up… wake the fuck up…” Faith pressed her head to the cold rails that held her, mumbling the same words again and again. She was getting so accustomed to the sound of her own voice that she didn’t notice the other presence until it were nearly in front of her cell.

“Who’s there!” Her head snapped up and she squinted down the dark corridor in front of her.

“Hey baby…” It was everything Faith wanted to hear. Exactly what she didn’t want to see. Buffy, there, standing before her nothing but angel hair and glittering eyes. She was beautiful… and she was covered in blood.

“Oh god! Buffy! Y-you’re hurt you’re…” Faith’s arm slid between the bars reaching, desperate. B was just out of her touch.

“Yeah…” Buffy said softly, glancing down at her clothes. She looked sad, but not in pain, it was weird. She took a few steps closer, wrapped her sticky red fingers around Faith’s. And it was like a confirmation to the dark slayer. That she could do it. That she could fall… again.

“I’m sorry B. God, I’m so—” Faith’s voice was breaking; the rest of her was breaking too. She couldn’t believe she was seeing this, that she’d done this.

“Shh. It’s ok baby. It’s ok…” It was soothing, it was calm…way too calm for someone who should be dead. And it wasn’t ok! But this wasn’t real either.

“I killed you?”

“No…” Buffy leaned closer then, kissed the tears from Faith’s face, avoiding the bars and whispering the words again and again.

“What’s happening B?” Faith sighed, her eyes closed. She was getting lost in the endless gentle kisses. Heaven, she was sure.

“It’s not real… hasn’t happened yet baby.” And she said it so soft, so sad, and Faith could feel those lips brushing over the frown that was now marring her brow. Yet?

“What? No B… this… it’s a dream, I won’t—”

“Love you…” It was whispered against her lips, sealed between their mouths. And Faith sighed because it felt like peace.

But it still didn’t explain what B had said. Buffy’s eyes were still apologetic when she pulled away.

“I guess it was supposed to be like this.” And Buffy took a step back, looking again at the thick blood that was covering her small form, dripping off her. Sickening taps on the concrete floor. Tiny splatters of contrast in Faith’s gray world.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Why was B moving away? Why wasn’t she helping her get out of here? Faith could feel something inside her starting to flicker, it was like a light dying, and something desperate, like panic was replacing it.

Buffy just kept walking back. One step; then another... too far way!

“You hurt me. We hurt each other.” Buffy said it gently but still felt like a slap, like truth.

“No! No B it’s not real… It didn’t happen!” Faith pleaded, nearly frantic in her denial. She brought her fist up, slammed it into her cage. “Don’t leave me here! Please!”

“But it will.” And Buffy turned away.

“No Buffy please! Just come back… We—we can talk about it! Don’t leave me!”

“You know I’m right baby. Everybody leaves, it always ends with pain… goodbye Faith.” And she was gone. Buffy’s footsteps made a hollow sound… as empty as Faith’s heart. And she was alone.
===============================================================

She’d been up all night. Sneaking from the warm, safe embrace of her love to sit for hours on a cold hard rooftop. She loved it up here though, high enough to see the lights of her town.

Back in the beginning they would spend hours up here just talking, about things in the dark unknown, but mostly about nothing at all. Their eyes would catch fleetingly, shyly and then skip away. It was before she knew. Or was ready to know.

And to be wrapped in those arms now, would be so close to perfect…she had to do this alone though. It would be better in the end, better if she just leave now.

If she just got rid of her now.

Willow closed her eyes again, centered her energy on the pile of smoldering herbs, mumbled words in an ancient and long forgotten language.

Words of protection. They had all been hurt so much, years living in Sunnydale it couldn’t be avoided. Vamps and demons, possessions and ghosts, Willow had pretty much seen it all before she got out of high school. But that was different, SO different.

Why couldn’t they see it?

Faith had betrayed them. Had betrayed Buffy. She had made the choice to walk with the darkness and would no doubt do it again. Things don’t change that much on the hellmouth.

Willow could still remember the pain that ran rivers down her best friends face that night. Buffy had come back to her place, after ‘the setup’… after all their fears and suspicions had been confirmed. She had said she couldn’t stand to see Angel, couldn’t be alone either. So Willow had done her job, picked up the pieces.

It was what best friends were for.

She’d held Buffy, her Buffy as she cried. And even though she hated the pain, hated the bitch that caused it more… she loved the feel of Buffy in her arms, clinging to her. Willow had whispered every calming phrase she could think of, every platitude she knew Buffy wouldn’t remember in the morning. She had assured her that Angel still loved her, would never leave her.

“She kissed me, why did she have to kiss me?” It had been a soft whisper against the skin of her neck, and the words had shocked her even as they had sent shivers through her core.

And another suspicion had been confirmed that night.

“Don’t cry for her Buff… she-she’s not worth it… she brought it on herself?” She had tried and it had even sounded hopeless to Willows own ears. She had held Buffy’s face in her hands trapped by watery green, she had drowned in all those eyes had to tell her.

“No, I did. God, why didn’t I—” And Willow didn’t want to know, didn’t want to see that it wasn’t Angel her best friend was breaking for

“Buffy you can’t think this is your fault. We all make choices…” She pulled Buffy back into her arms. The eyes had been too much… they made her want things she shouldn’t want, couldn’t understand. “Faith made hers, we can’t change that.”

“She kissed me Will.” She had sighed again, and Willow knew any response to that wouldn’t be anything Buffy would want to hear. She gave her more banalities instead.

“It’ll be ok, just stay here, it’ll be ok in the morning.” All lies. Nothing close to what she really wanted to say. The things Buffy was making her feel at that moment. Jealousy, anger, want all meshed and swirled in a confused young mind.

“Just hold me Wills” And Willow almost had said…something, ANYTHING?! But she couldn’t. Instead they had lain on her bed then, Buffy falling asleep, Willow remaining awake, watching her.

A part of her hope had died that night. Something that she hadn’t had the capacity to realize at the time, something she didn’t even know she could want. It was buried before it could ever have chance to see the light. And Faith had killed it.

Willow blinked away her reverie noticing the candles were nearly burned away. She took a deep breath, calmed the surge of power, of ecstasy the spell brought about.

“Fear is made real, in dreams they’re revealed, haunt the vessel and hearts are healed.”

And the last of the ash finally burned away.
===============================================================
Faith’s been acting weird all day. Quiet and stand off-ish. I had woken up alone this morning, her spot in the bed still slightly warm. I had pressed my face into her pillow, breathed her in and this deep ache had suddenly enveloped me. It had crawled into my chest where it rested, heavy and right on my heart.

God, I had never felt anything that intense before. It was want and longing and desire and I just MISSED her. After last night I had expected to wake up in her arms again, wrapped around each other in our own little world. But I was alone.

I had left the warm sanctuary of our bed after a few minutes of waiting, realizing she might not be coming back. I wasn’t too worried, I could still feel her near.

And yeah, it’s definitely ‘our’ bed now.

I had found her sitting outside on the bench we keep in the back yard by mom’s flowers, her face turned up to the slowly brightening sky. She looked beautiful. The new golden rays had just started to creep across the horizon, bathing her skin with soft warm tones, highlighting the rivers of burgundy in her hair that I’d never allowed myself to notice. Not until now.

I watched as she sighed and closed her eyes, thick dark lashes making shadows across her cheeks. And I had no clue what to do next. Good thing I’m not the one running this show I guess. ‘Cause then her eyes opened, and they looked so, so deep catching the orange rays.

I swear I couldn’t breathe for a second.

“Checkin’ out the merchandise B?” She grinned, but it was nowhere near those beautiful eyes.

“Yeah, definitely.” I smiled back, wanting to go to her so bad. But something was telling me to stay. Give her some distance, she needed it. It might have been the tense set of her shoulders, or the small pile of cigarettes at her feet. I don’t know. I must have said the right thing though, because that smile finally did reach her eyes.

Sunrise was nothing compared to that.

“I missed you.” I told her. And I couldn’t believe how hard that little admission was making me blush, how shy I suddenly felt. Especially after last night! But it’s still all so new, all so much to feel. I’m guessing that might be why she’s out here. Got a little freaked, needed a little space.

I hope.

“Yeah?” She was standing up then, and I noticed she was fully dressed in her clothes from yesterday. Damn. I kinda felt a bit underdressed in just my robe, but my heart was beating faster all the same. All I could do is nod at her as she came to stand right in front of me, inches away. I wanted her closer.

“So you’re going somewhere?” I had asked instead of grabbing her.

“Yeah, I better. Gotta grab a change before things get started ‘round here.” She’s right, but I don’t like it. I like the idea of having her here…

And I think I’m about to say something really scary… yup, I’m gonna.

“Umm. Why don’t you, ah…ya know, bring your stuff back? Y-you can, ya know, if you want… maybe crash here? Till all this is done? Or maybe, just whenever?”

It sounded a lot cooler in my head. Really. But her eyes got really soft then, like I was maybe melting her a little.

“Ok.” Simple as that and I couldn’t freaking believe it! And thankfully she saved me from the incredibly Dawn-like squeal that was seconds from escaping

She kissed me. She cupped her warm, soft hands around my face and those full lips were on mine. It was soft and gentle and it brought my heart up to my throat. It made that longing in my chest go away.

My hands were sinking into her hair before I realized, my mouth searching for deeper access to hers. I felt her sigh and I got chills all over. She was just so warm against me… so close.

I wanted to tell her to forget about the meeting later. Forget about all this damn bad. I wanted to drag her back upstairs, back to our bed, back to our world. I tried to tell her in the kiss.

I wanted to convince her, something was telling me she needed to be convinced. I pressed in harder, let my tongue wrap around hers, pulled her tighter against me. And I got another sigh, and a bit of a moan this time.

God, does she even know what that does to me?! My hands slip down her back, over the delicious curves of her hips down to cup her ass and I can feel my lungs starting to burn but I don’t care. Who needs to breathe when I have Faith pressed so close to me, when I can feel her breasts pushing against mine, her heart pounding so fast?! Her mouth is so hot, so wet, and just seems endless… it reminds me of other places I’ve discovered.

And suddenly I want her. Now, and so damn bad I can hardly stand it. The kiss turns rougher… the aggression, the extent of my need showing itself in the messy slide my lips are making over her mouth, in the way were both starting to tremble, muscles straining and yet barely restrained.

God, I feel so desperate, desperate enough to take her, have her, fuck her right here on the soft grass in my back yard…I bet she’d look so good laid out with that green against her bare skin… But she pulls away then, gasping.

“B, fuck… what are ya doin’?” She was all breathless. I love her breathless. I’d love her more spread out naked on the ground and breathless.

“It isn’t obvious?” I ask the skin of her neck, it tastes so good. Faith flavored, I should call Ben and Jerry’s.

“Well I was sure you were goin’ for subtle.” She grins and my lips find the dimple that just appeared as I try and get my heart to slow a bit.

“Nope, not subtle, not me… I want you.” I had to whisper the admission, because I could hardly believe its true. I never dreamed I could want something like this, like HER. That I could want a body so soft and full and lush. That I could want to run my hands through long, infinite waves of brown. I can’t believe I’m acting this way! But Faith just makes me feel so uninhibited, inspired even… Before, I’d never let myself think about soft berry red lips or hard rose colored nipples, but now I can hardly think of anything else. And it’s the truest thing I’ve ever known.

“I want you so bad Faith, I need you.” I tell her again, and I kissed her again to prove it.

And my mouth was all over hers, lips tongue, teeth. I nibbled that bottom lip she likes to tease me with as one of my hands slid away from her ass and up under her shirt.

What happened to her bra? Why am I wasting time wonder what happened to her bra?!

I cup the soft curve of her breast, squeeze a little as my thumb passes over her nipple. And I’m still amazed as I feel it harden under my touch. Faith groans into my mouth and it vibrates between us. It feels so sexy, knowing that she wants this just as bad. Her skin is heating up as I play, rolling her nipple over my thumb… stroking the tip, and I finally pull my mouth away from hers. We should be doing this upstairs, should have started the second our eyes opened.

“I wanted to wake up with you…” I confess, watching her eyes flutter open, watching her mouth try and form words for a second

“Fuck B…ohh… I-I can’t think when you’re doin’ that!” Good, so she can’t think about leaving.

“Doing what baby?” I ask innocent, and tug her nipple gently, pinching it harder, giving her more of that pressure I know she likes. It’s not nearly enough though.

“Uhh… That! Ohfuck” God her voice sounds so dark. It gets me wetter than I already am… it makes me ache. I use the hand that’s caressing her ass to pull her into me and I grind a bit.

“I maybe thought we could stay in bed for a while longer, but you weren’t there”

“I-I um… a-ahh B! Damn you gotta stop that.” But her hips are moving too, unconscious little thrusts against the leg I managed to slip between hers. I ease up on her nipple some though and she sighs. It’s both relief and disappointment.

“I um… couldn’t sleep is all.” She finally manages, a tiny frown makes her eyebrows go all smooshy. I kiss it away and wonder what could have caused it. There’re so many things. I try and find the answer in her eyes but hers are focused on the strand of my hair she’s been playing with. I pull back a bit, and my hand slips out of her shirt, concern suddenly taking the forefront over horny.

“Baby, what is it?”

“Just night—I mean nothin’… I’m just stressed I think, no big.” And I wanted to think about what she started to say, but she grins and her eyes meet mine a second before she leans in and I feel her mouth on my neck

“Stress is bad…umm…m-maybe I can help you with that.” God what’s she doing to my ear?!

“Mmm you got no idea how good that sounds B.” I kiss her collarbone, suck a little. “Or how good that feels.”

“Then come back to bed…”

“The others are gonna be here soon.” She sighs and pulls away some and meets my gaze, pouting a little, knowing that she’s right and not liking it one bit.

“Its early.” I tell her bottom lip.

“So Giles doesn’t get up at the ass crack of dawn anymore?”

I smile and pull her back to me, slide my hand back into her shirt.

“Don’t care.” And when did my voice get so raspy? Her mouth lands back on mine in a slow deep caress, my tongue matching the strokes my hand is making over her breast. And it’s different now, not as urgent, not as demanding.

The need is still there though. I can feel it in the way Faith’s starting to rock against me again, in the way she’s panting against my mouth, making the air between us so warm and humid.
“Buffy…shit, B…makin’ me so wet.” She tells me and I swear I feel my whole body tense. Shit I love how she talks when she’s turned on. But I tamp down that urgency, I don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to think about time, or how everyone will be up soon.

“Can you show me?” I ask, each word a feather against her mouth and I feel her nod, feel her hands reaching between us slipping past the token barrier of my robe and god, then, they’re on my skin. They slide over my hips, hot and shaky, and make a quick rush up to my breasts.

“Damn, B… you’re so fuckin’ soft” And she’s talking to me again, rasping puffs against my neck as her fingers brush back and forth over my hard aching nipples. “So damn sexy… want you so much… You know how hot you make me B?”

God I can’t believe how gentle she’s being, I can tell she’s holding back can feel it in the way her hands are all trembles, the slow deliberate kisses she’s burning into shoulder. But it’s so good, I can hardly stand it. I gotta find a better place for this to happen… like, now.

“Mmm… Faith, baby… inside.”

“Oh god…Ok.” And she’s gasping and I feel a trembling hand suddenly between my legs, parting my slick folds

“No, baby…uuunnhh Faith!” I groan and feel her finger against my clit, pressing, circling, oh fuck she’s so good! “Inside the house…”

And now I really am desperate.

We make it as far as the kitchen, barely. Kissing, stumbling, groping the whole way. Her hand is still between my thighs when my back hits hard against the kitchen door.

“B… need you.” She whispers into my ear and I can’t believe how small it sounds almost like a question, just as she picks up the stroking over my clit again.

My legs feel like water and the rest of me feels like its gonna combust. I slump back against the door, try not to scream as she picks up the rhythm matching the deep pulsing in my clit. God she has me so close already.

“Buffy?” Its that tiny voice again. And I realize my eyes were shut tight. I open them, and fall right into the depths of hers. I bring my hands up, cup them around her face, show her what she’s doing to me. Its too much, too good. I’m gonna come, but I want her with me. I need it.

I still her hand with mine just as she started to slide in and out, then, as best as I could with the way my hands are shaking, get her pants undone and slide them down. She kisses me again, her mouth hard and reckless as she kicks her pants off.

She spreads her legs some, giving me better access and the instant I touch her, my hand is coated in her juice. I touch her slow my fingers part her, trace her every outline, she’s burning as she pours into my hand.

“Uuunnhh B!” It’s moaned into my mouth and I can tell she’s trying to hold back, keep her hand still inside me, give me a chance to catch her up… she’s not too far off though. I can feel her shaking against me. I let my fingers make a lazy slide through her pussy, drag lightly over her clit, and then away again, teasing. She so hard the slightest touch makes her whole body shudder.

“Fuck… oh god…B, please…B, oh god.”

She finally breaks away from the kiss then, buries her face into my neck as her knees go week. She’s whispering the words again and again each one sounding a little more pleading than the last. Her hand finds the rhythm on my clit again rubbing those tight little circles that are taking me to the brink so fast. I do the same on her, a little harder, little faster every time and soon its nothing but muffled groans and whispered pleas.

I can feel her body starting to arch against mine, her hips starting to lose the pace and she’s making those desperate whimpers, biting her lip so hard. She’s about to come for me.

“B! Oh f-fuck… I-I can’t—” I slow my hand down, she’s right on the brink, but she’s fighting it… I can feel her clit making those little twitches against my fingers. She wants me with her too, and I try to tell her what I need.

“So good baby…a-ahh! J-just… more…oh god!” But she already knows what I needs, plunges two fingers up inside me and starts to fuck me.

“Yes!! Faith! baby!” And I’m moaning, we’re both moaning as our passion reaches fever pitch and Faith’s body jerks hard against me suddenly she tenses and I watch her face as the ecstasy sweeps through her.

“Buffy!” The sigh of my name as it falls from her lips is enough and I’m flying with her. Falling for endless moments and I feel the rush of her come coating my hand, the weight of her body as it slumps warm and safe against mine, the incessant spasms that rack both our forms. They’re slow to fade, intense after shocks keep us both trembling. And damn I don’t ever want to move again… I’m not sure if I’ll be able to.

After a while, our breathing finally start to slow and I pull back a short bit, just enough to see the sleepy smiley face she’s making.

“I love you.” I whisper, and her eyes flutter open like magic. That smile gets bigger.

“That was so…god B I don’t even know what that was.” Her voice is all raspy and her eye’s look like they might overflow…

Can your heart be breaking if you’re this happy?

“It was us.” I tell her with a sniffle of my own. And we stay like that, just holding each other, basking in each other until she finally sighs and pulls away. She pouts a bit at the loss of contact.

“I should really get going B… don’t want the kid wandering down here and seeing all this. Could damage her young mind.”

“Dawn is plenty damaged, little more wont hurt.” I argue.

“Plus I gotta go get my stuff, get back here” She puts on her pants. I hate pants.

“You suck. With all this being right stuff.” And I show her a REAL pout. She just grins bigger.

“It’s my curse.” Such a smart ass. I pull her back to me quick, catch her mouth again and let my hands roam to all the places her clothes are hiding, all the places I know I won’t be seeing for at least a while. I let my nails rake gently down her back and feel the prickle of goosebumps follow my touch. My other hand is back at her breast for only a second before she can pull away with a groan.

“Fuck…B, I need to go, now, or else I wont be able to… I’ll be back soon yeah?” Her smart ass smirk gone and she’s talking to the gap in my robe that is nearly exposing me again.

“Ok…” I grin, happy that now she’s still in the land of horny with me “Hurry.”

And she just smiled as she backed away. And I watched her stride out the door, cross the yard… that’s how she left, full of wanting and joy and peace. But that’s not what’s in her eyes right now. I have no idea what’s changed between then and now but the difference is like night and day. And I’m worried.

When she came back she’d been subdued and only gotten more so as the day went on. She’s almost down to single syllables…

Everybody’s here now, deep into the research of things. Last nights patrol had been really lucky. So we’re pretty sure where this Ancient vamp is bedding down, now all we have to find a way to kill sleeping ugly. Apparently a nice splinter to the heart or a good old-fashioned beheading just won’t do. Giles had informed us all, with way too much enthusiasm, that when you chop off one it’ll just grow another… he really needs a new hobby.

Faith had used a small portion of her apparent word quota to suggest fire, but Giles shot that down too. So that leads us to this again. Research.

Translating actually, which is even worse. I swear none of this stuff even makes sense in English!

I let Dawn skip a day at school and even Riley came over to help. We need all the minds we can get. But I really don’t like the way he’s been looking at me. Like a twisted cross between remorse and lust and satisfaction.

I have no idea what’s going on in his head, but he’s looking at Faith too. And there’s nothing but disdain then.

I don’t like it.

It makes me want to go to her, stand by her side and protect her. But Faith’s too caught up in her own thoughts to even notice.

At least Tara and Wills seem to be getting back to their usual sunshine selves. I had heard them arguing just after lunch. They had thought they had been alone in the kitchen. I had been passing by I really didn’t mean to snoop or anything. I didn’t catch all of it, but it sounded pretty heated, and of course had been about the magic. I didn’t stick around to listen, but it looks as though they made up a bit. They’re all moon eyes and hand-holding again.

I look over at my best friend just as her eyes flick away from where they’ve been locked on Tara. I can hardly recognize the girl I’ve known for so long under all that pain, but I can see hope again too. And it makes me smile.

Maybe things are getting better…

“I got balls!!” Or, maybe the world’s gone insane.

Now everyone is looking at Xander like he’s… well, nuts.

“Uhh… we all kinda know that Xander.” Tara says, turning an interesting shade of pink. And Xander’s eyes get big as he realizes what he’s saying. It doesn’t stop him from saying it again though.

“No! not balls, balls… um I got those too but… ORBS! Big glowing orbs!”

“I shouldn’t be hearing this…” My sister covers her ears, closes her eyes

“The stress is getting to him…” Anya sighs, uninterested.

“No! Look!” And Xander stands up!

“He’s gonna flash us!!?” Dawns eyes pop open and I reach out a hand to cover them. What the hell is wrong with him!?

“Xander no one wants to see—”

“In the BOOK!” He finally shouts. Oh, I knew that. “See! I think I translated it right… balls right?”

Then he holds up a page he’s been translating from. Giles is next to him in an instant reading over the lines.

“Oh bloody hell why didn’t I consider this before!”

“What is it Giles?” I ask and he hands me the page, like that’s gonna mean something to me. I raise an eyebrow.

“The orbs of N’stasis” Uh huh. Right. I raise both eyebrows.

“There a set of ancient crystals, forged about 800 years ago. For the specific purpose of dealing with the oldest of demons. There were about twenty or so originally.” He explains

“Originally?” Faith asks, suddenly interested. It’s almost disturbing that she didn’t say anything when Xander’s balls were about to come out.

“Yes well, if I remember correctly, each time one is used, it is destroyed as well as the beast it vanquishes. From what I can determine from this we will need at least two”

“Sweet. So how do we get our hands on ‘em?”

“Yes well the Council is in possession of several. However I’m sure they’d be reluctant to turn one over, due to their rarity… they would have to rule the situation to be a considerable threat.”

“It’s the first fuckin’ vamp ever created?! We’re talkin’ apocalypse how much bigger threat could they need!?” She stands up and the book she was holding goes sailing across the room. Her frustration evident in every line of her body as she stares my watcher down.

“Faith now there is no need for—”

“No Giles she’s right.” I cut him off, but stay seated. I reach out, my hand landing gently on the small of Faith’s back and she takes her seat next to me again. Tense as stone

This is beyond serious. Call them and get what we need.”
“I think I might be able to help.” Riley says, breaking the stare down between me and Giles. “I have some connections… left over from the Initiative. There’s a lot of things like that just sitting around in storage.”

And he says it so casual, but there’s something behind that, in his eyes. I can’t quite figure what though. But hell if he can get these super balls for us…

“Really? You think you can find that out soon?”

“No problem Buffy. I can check it out before patrol.” He says with his best smile, with satisfaction, like he’s won something.

And I really don’t get what’s going on with him, but I finally feel like we’ve made some progress. That we actually have a chance to beat this thing and we’ll all come out of it ok… better even. And it’s my sister that seems to put my thoughts into words.

“This is great! We have the when the where and weapon. But what are we supposed to do now?”
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The kid asked a damn good question. And as far as Faith was concerned, she had the answer. She was outta here. Now would be the perfect time to make a little escape. When everyone was relaxing, taking some time off from all things end-o-times.

All the tension, the doubts the fears… they were crushing in on her. She had thought she’d had a handle on it, especially after last night. Why was she feeling this way? Things were supposed to be getting better!

It had seemed as though she was finally ready to move past it all, she had all she needed to right? She had her love.

Faith could still hear the words, Buffy’s whispered declarations as they made love. It had all been so complete and she had felt perfectly whole. But then the dreams, they had ripped it all to shreds. And now Faith felt like tatters blowing in the wind.

Faith had awoken lost, disoriented. She could still feel the hard steel under her fists; smell that stale and acrid air. It had been tinged with blood. God it had been so much blood.

And even though Faith knew it wasn’t real, that Buffy really hadn’t been there this time the sight had was burned into her mind all the same. She had tried to close her eyes, block it out and find sleep again, but the tears only burned hot rivers on her face. And she could still see it all. It was what she had been, what she knew she would always be capable of.

It had been all that darkness that had pulled her from the comfort of Buffy’s arms and she’d looked for the sun.

It had been ok this morning, been so much better when B had come looking for her, held her kissed her. But as she left the thoughts had started up again, and it had only gotten worse as the day wore on. Sitting there, watching them all… how could she possibly belong here?

Simplest answer. She didn’t. Right?

Faith thought so and she was just at the front door, hand on the handle and everything, but the voice behind her brought her to a stop.

“You running off again?” She said gently, and Faith swore she could hear a challenge. She turned around.

“Nah, just ahh… need a little air is all.” Faith tried to make it sound convincing, but she knew she couldn’t ever get anything past this girl.

Tara smiled at the attempt. And yeah, it was a challenge.

“It is a little tense around here… I could see how you’d have trouble dealing.” She came closer as she spoke so they were both in the foyer.

“I’m dealin’ ok I think.” Tara eyed the hand that was still gripping the door handle. “Ok, so maybe I’m not dealin’ all that well.”

“What’s changed? I mean last night… the graveyard… you and Buffy seemed, well… umm.” Tara gestured the blush spreading across her cheeks

“Yeah last night…and this mornin’.” Faith couldn’t help but grin, blush a little herself as she thought about being in the other girl’s arms. But that was the thing… all that contentment that love it felt shaded, tainted by feelings she couldn’t understant

“Oh!? Umm…Right…” Tara’s blush had spread all the way to the roots of her hair by now “Anyway, now first chance… you’re looking for some ‘air’? What gives?”

“I got no clue Tara, it’s just…see I—”

And a near confession was cut short, as Willow stepped into the room, cautious, her eyes jumping between Tara and Faith.

“Tara sweetie, what’s going on?” She smiled, but it was a fake smile.

“I was just talking to Faith.”

“Yeah, I see that… why?” And Faith saw exactly where this was heading. She thought it best she make that escape before another round of Willow-rage like yesterday.

“Look Willow, its nothin’ I was just leavin’ and—”

“No Faith, you’re not…” Faith had made to grab the door again, but Tara had grabbed her.

“Well if she wants too...” and then Red had grabbed Tara. And it was just a little thing, a tiny sprig of something that Faith never would have noticed. It had fallen like an afterthought from Willow’s sleeve…

“Will? Baby, what’s this? But Tara noticed. She picked up the frail looking branch from the floor and Faith watched the frown that made a slow creep across her gentle brow. “Ginger leaf? You’ve been having bad dreams?”

It was asked gently, nothing but concern

“Ahh... yeah, its just a little something for sleep. Nothing hard Tara I swear.” But Willow’s eyes were nothing but worry.

“I believe you Willow, its ok. We talked about it remember? I know you’re giving it up.” But Faith didn’t believe her. And it sure as hell wasn’t ok. In fact it was like a big ass piece in the middle of the puzzle just got filled.

“Hey T? You think me and your girl can talk a little? I wanna try and work some stuff out.”

Tara had smiled, looked hopeful, thankful at Faith before she turned and brushed her lips quickly over Willow’s. The small gesture had erased the contempt in her eyes. It was for only a moment though. Willow’s expression slammed shut like a vault the minute they were alone.

It didn’t faze Faith one bit. Not now that she knew.

“Ya know Red, a hell of a lot has changed since last time I was here.” She tried a smile

“Yeah, it happens. What’s your point Faith?” Willow only glared, and Faith knew it was time to drop the pleasantries.

“Well I just never thought you’d be the one to make a little trip to my side of the tracks.”

“What are you talking—”

“Save the shit Red. You might got you’re girl and all the rest of them fooled. But I know what’s the what. I know that little dark place that gets you all hot, how you can’t quit… I lived it. All that power the control that rushes through you it hooks you”

“I can stop when ever I want.” It sounded dry, without emotion. It was practiced. Faith knew that tone all too well.

“Yeah you keep tellin’ yourself that. But more than that… I know you’re fuckin’ with me.” She stepped closer, throwing the words, the truth at the other girl. But it was without venom, without malice. Just the truth. And faced with that Willow started backing away, shaking her head in denial.

“You’re still psychotic.”

“Depends on who ya ask. But it doesn’t change that I know.” And Faith felt a little bit of spite that time, a little satisfaction as Willow’s eyes widened in realization, but she forced it down, she wouldn’t go there again. “Don’t worry ‘bout it Red. It’s only fair right?”

“What’s fair?”

“I knew what the deal was with you, back in the day. With Buffy. I knew, and I didn’t like it and I fucked with your head every chance I got.”

It was raw, it was honest and Faith felt lighter for speaking it.

“It’s not like that any more. I love Tara.” Faith was at least glad she didn’t even try to deny it. Why bother right? Now that they both knew where they were coming from

“Yeah I know. Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t sting a little yeah? Especially now.”

“So now you win or something?” And Willow’s sigh sounded like defeat to Faith. “You’re gonna go tell them all how Willow is just as evil as Faith, show them really that you’re all of the good?”

And the witch didn’t realize how far off she was. But Faith couldn’t blame her. It was expected… was something she would have done in a heartbeat, back then.

“First off Willow, you can never be as evil as me. Like, not even close. And second, no. I aint tellin’ this stays between you and me. But it ends, like now. Whatever you did to fuck with my head. Its over.”

“Fine.” And that was easier than she’d thought. But Willows eyes still looked like ice. But Faith pushed on, knew she had to say this next part

“And last. And this is the part you’re really gonna love see, I’m gonna help you.”

“What?! You… what can… help?” At least that callous frozen expression was gone. Red wore shocked and flustered a lot better anyways.

“Don’t bust a vein Red. See, Buffy she’s… she’s like everything to me. And what you’re doin’ this magic, she’s worried, and hurt… and so are Tara and Xand.”

“They don’t understand. With all the bad we face, its been getting worse. And ever since her mom died, its like Buffy’s been looking for it… She can’t do it alone.”

“Your right. And she won’t have to… but losing yourself ain’t the answer either. Look I don’t think you’re wrong. I’m always down for a little more fire power, and if ya get a little tingly as a result, that’s sweet too. Just think about the source of it, that’s all I’m sayin’.”

Faith reasoned, she didn’t want to go the whole condemnation route. She knew first hand how much that DIDN’T work. She just wanted to give Willow something to think about.

“I’ll think about it, Faith.” See and it worked!

“I’m gonna see if Giles has had any luck with Xander’s orbs.” Willow said then, just a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Willow, tell me YOU didn’t just say that!”

“Things change Faith.” And this time Willow gave her a full smile.

“And not always for the worse…” Faith said softly, watching as the other girl left in search of answers. And Faith felt, at least for now they had reached some understanding. Almost instantly she began to feel the weight, the pressure of her doubts lifting. Her soul felt lighter, and instead of screaming out her fears, it was singing for her love.

Things were finally starting to look up.

TBC
Oh the progress! Please inform the troll on all thoughts on these matters. Her personal assistant (still reviewing resumes) will reply promptly with a wonderful fruit basket in appreciation as well as a signed autographed picture of the troll her self! She’s a crazy beast and will not be denied!

Oh yeah and don’t think it’s gonna be that easy.
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