Subversive

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters that are the creation of Joss Whedon. I write purely for the fun of it. Don't make any money off this stuff.


The stink of the room clouded my nostrils. The light bulbs swinging overhead were dim, showing just enough light to reveal the corpses stuffed so clumsily in the corner of the room. Their faces were frozen in silent masks of screaming terror, eyes squeezed shut as if they were still begging for mercy. No windows could be seen, but the eerily bright moonlight shown down on the cold metal table, highlighting it as the centerpiece of the room. Whispered hisses rode the air like a tangible web holding me in place. Footsteps… footsteps echoing from somewhere in the darkness, and they were getting closer.

I was thrown onto the table with brute force. Many hands came out of the darkness, and each one gripped me tightly as they held me down like vises. My mouth wouldn’t work right. I tried to scream, tried to do something to get help, but it was all soundless, as if my voice had been stolen right from my chest. I looked around in horror to see white teeth shimmering in the air, many sets of them. Low growls began to permeate the darkness, a sound that sent shivers down my spine.

Struggling as hard as I could, I bucked and tried to fight the inevitable. The spotlight was making my skin glow and blinding me. The darkness around me seemed that more tangible, as if when I touched it, it would be like velvet. Only terrifying. I tried to fight, but the growls rose in sound.

The teeth moved forward and struck.

I startled, suddenly realizing I was warm in bed. I was shaking from the nightmare, my skin alive as if thousands of insects had tried to gnaw on me. No matter that I knew I was in bed, it still felt real to me. I felt too dizzy to open my eyes; it was too much of an effort, so I quit trying. I was vaguely aware of how nearly my entire body was numb, warmth running over my skin in contrast to the shivers I was experiencing. Even my mind felt fuzzy and disconcerted.

Out of the fuzziness I was able to hear voices from somewhere around me, somewhere close by. Straining to break through, it took me a few moments to realize that it was Angel and Spike talking. My heart was beating so quickly it threatened to drown them out. I had to remind myself that I was all right, that I was in bed, not in a cold dark room surrounded by vampires. Well, not evil vampires, anyway.

“… have? Do they have a mark on him yet?” Spike asked.

Angel sighed heavily, and I heard the rustling of papers. “Gunn found his file. Said it took quite a few favors to get it this fast, and he’s going to owe a few demons.” A moment of silence. “His name’s Howard, Stanley Howard. Convicted serial rapist, they call him the Carver. He was in prison serving a twenty year sentence when he broke out in ‘93. Apparently he met up with some vampires on the outside, and they turned him. Since then, he’s been out wrecking havoc and back up to his old tricks.”

“Serial rapist.” The contempt in Spike’s voice sent goosebumps all over my skin. “I’ve never bloody understood the motivations for that sort of thing. I mean, I can understand almost every other sort of low-life scum, but this…”

“Yeah, apparently he’s quite the psychotic. His file says that in the past he’s taken trophies from each of his victims. Since he became a vampire, he’ll turn some of his victims so he can continue to torture them forever. Apparently him and his gang have been taking women all over the city, and even a couple of men who they deemed worthy of their attentions.”

A moment of silence. “You mean they actually raped--?”

“Yeah,” Angel answered quickly. “I guess there’s one in the group who’s into that. Howard, though, he’s been in and out of mental clinics since he was born. Made friends with some demons while he was young, too, and they did quite a bit of damage. All his later years, from teenager to adult to vampire, he’s had it in for his routine. One of his favorite things is to tie up his victim and--”

“I’ve seen it. All right?” Spike’s voice was sharp and cold. “I don’t need to bloody hear anymore about what he does. I was there, all right? I bloody saw what he was doing to her…” He began to pace, his boots squeaking slightly on the floor.

“I have to get out there. I have to find that pisshead before he gets too far.”

“I’ve got Fred and Gunn asking around some more, although I don’t know if Gunn’ll be able to call in many more favors. Wesley’s checking with the psychics to try and get a bead on him. No luck so far. He could be anywhere. Hell, he could’ve left the city by now, but I doubt it. He likes Los Angeles.”

“Well, bloody fucking yippee for him. Say I’d better get out there, then, eh?” Spike sighed loudly enough that it startled me. I could hear the tension in his voice, and I knew his teeth were half-clenched. “We have to find him. I can’t rest until I’ve got his blood on my hands.”

“Spike, we’ll get him. Take it easy.”

Spike growled suddenly, and I knew he’d just turned on Angel. “Easy? You call this bloody easy? Do you have any idea what’s going on here, Angel? Any at all? This sodding piece of shit is loose on the streets. We’ve got to find him before he comes back. I let her down. I let this happen to her.”

For a second Angel was quiet. “No, you didn’t. This isn’t your fault, Spike. There’s no way you could have known this was going to happen. No one could have. It was an accident.”

“An accident.” He made a sort of strangled guffaw. “It’s one hell of a bloody accident. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve any of this! She blames me, you know. And she should. I didn’t get to her in time.” Spike’s voice went quiet, and when he spoke next it was filled with barely suppressed emotion. “You didn’t see it. When I got in there… It didn’t take long to find them, I just followed the scent of them, the scent of her… She was bent over a table, covered in blood, and he was on her… what he was doing to her…” He broke off, and I heard him take a shuddering breath to calm himself down.

“I have to make this right. This guy, this Howard, he’s got nothing on upstairs, mate. What I saw him do, makes things I’ve done look like bloody sunshine and roses. If you want a runner up for the horrible things you’ve done, he’ll give you a run for your money.” He paused. “I can’t stay here right now. I’ve got to go try and find him.”

“Why don’t you try checking in with Wesley? Maybe he’s got something by now,” Angel suggested.

“Yeah, maybe.”

I heard Spike approach, felt him lean over me. He touched my cheek ever so gently, and pushed back a strand of hair from my forehead. I cringed, not from him but from touch, from the memory of touch. He kissed my forehead gently. “I’ll be back soon, baby,” he whispered.

I whimpered softly, moving my head slightly as if to feel out where he was. “Spike,” I breathed.

“I promise, little dove. I’ll be back around sunrise.”

It took a mighty effort to open my eye a crack and when I did the world swam in messy colored streaks. My face felt thick like cotton and just as useless. Blinking, I managed to focus on Spike hovering above me for a moment before he turned and left the room. I reached out after him, a suddenly intense need to feel the comfort he offered.

“Eva.”

Angel came to sit beside me, and he took my bandaged hand, holding it between both of his large hands. I slowly turned to look at him, curious and lost. My right eye was still pasted shut. At least I was slowly becoming accustomed to one-eyed vision, as annoying as it was. Not that it mattered; I wasn’t doing anything other than lying in bed under medically induced euphoria.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I swallowed, wincing as my throat burned. “Where did he go?” My voice had risen slightly above a whisper, becoming something faint but audible, at least to those with excellent hearing.

“He’s gone to hunt,” Angel replied reluctantly. “He’ll be back by sunrise.”

Hunt. He’d gone off to hunt the vampires that had ruined me. Through the fuzziness I felt something cold worm its way through my stomach and settle down there. I watched Angel lazily, admiring his dark good looks through my haze. My thoughts ran as absently as a rainstorm, no pattern or path to know of.

“I wonder if you can protect me any better,” I murmured dreamily, noticing how he was framed in a pale fog that hovered around him.

Angel frowned, looking at me curiously. “Better than what?”

I looked away for a moment, something painful touching my chest. “Than Spike.” I saw Angel digest the words and something pained crossed his face. He looked down, something like guilt emitting from him.

“Eva,” he began softly. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could have helped you. I’d give anything to have been there to help you, to stop this from happening. I know Spike wishes he’d stopped it.”

“He couldn’t do it,” I said very softly, as if passing secrets. I felt a strange delirium beginning to swim through my head, creating a sense of euphoria and sadness all around me. “He couldn’t protect me from them. They took me… and all my soul went out of me… He couldn’t help it… There were too many of them. But he--he promised… He promised no one would t-touch me, and they did, they did bad things to--to me…” I whimpered suddenly, the warmth of delirium passing to cold remembrance.

“Sshh.” Angel touched my cheek, very carefully avoiding the swelling around my mouth and nose. “It’s all right, Eva. It’s over.”

I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat as I tried to breathe through the infernal mask around my busted nose. Every sound I made sounded stuffy and forced. The heart monitor by the bed was beginning to beep very quickly. “They ate me and drank me and destroyed the woman in side of me. I see them every time I close my eyes…” I looked at Angel, my eye as wide as I could make it, and I kept talking in a strangled voice. “He’s not finished… He’s coming back.”

Angel looked startled, frowning. “The vampire who hurt you? You think he’s coming back for you?”

I glanced around as panic began to rise through me, breaking through the numb barriers that had kept me bedridden and weak. My skin felt as if it was burning and itching, as if I could still feel the plastic restraints around my wrists and the cold table beneath me. I began to scratch my arms, working around the mess of tubes.

“He’s going to finish it. He’s going to slit my throat and he’ll eat my mind next! I can’t st-stop him… can’t stop him… He’s still inside me, oh, God…” I grabbed my head, raking nails down my cheeks. “He’s still there!” I whispered feverishly, violently. “I can’t get him out, he’s in my skin.” I stared at my arms and began to tear at my skin, as if I could see his face beneath my skin.

Angel grabbed me, trying to hold my arms down and keep my hands away from everything. “Eva, stop, stop! There’s nothing in your skin, nothing. He’s not here, and if he tries to come back then we’ll take care of it. It’s just a memory and it’s all gone, it’s over. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

I stared wide-eyed at him, trembling with the panic that was flooding me. I glanced at the door, certain that I had seen a shadow pass outside the door. “No, it’s not over. I can hear him screaming in my head! He’s angry I got away, and he’s going to find me, he’s going to find me!” I fought against his arms, desperate not to be held down, desperate to be free. “Oh, God, let go of me, don’t… don’t… don’t!”

Keeping me pinned down with one arm, Angel reached around and pushed the nurse call button. I felt tears welling up as I tried to struggle against him, kicking against the blankets and trying to raise myself up.

“Stop, Eva, stop! Come on, honey, stop this,” Angel stared at me, voice pleading. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nurse Hutchins enter, a deep frown creasing her face. “What the hell’s going on?” she demanded.

I turned towards her, imploring her with my eyes. “Don’t you see?” I cried. “He’s going to come back for me! I can hear him. He’s finishing with the sheep and he wants to return home to kill the shepherd. I can’t stop him… Get off of me, God, just let me go, please!”

“She’s delirious,” Angel called over his shoulder, leaning heavily on me as I squirmed and began to whimper. “She’s just rambling, and she was scratching herself.”

“I’ll get a sedative.”

As Nurse Hutchins disappeared, I reared on Angel. My heart was racing to get out of my chest. He kept me pinned, watching me carefully. I felt my face crumble as I tried to sink into the bed. A sudden vision passed through the darkest recesses of my mind. I saw blood and chaos, evil reigning supreme. There were glowing eyes and red flames and dark wings sprouting out from human forms. I was suffocating, struggling not to be consumed by the horror. The glow of yellow eyes pierced the darkness, and a familiar smile tormenting me, seeking me out and grinning, ready to swallow me whole.

“No more vampires,” I whispered, fearful. “Vampires hurt people.”

Something crossed Angel’s face, something that spoke volumes about the turmoil inside his own head. At last he said, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You don’t see it?” I whispered, glancing around fearfully as I tried to stop struggling. “He wants me dead. He knows I know, and he’ll kill me.”

Angel shook his head slowly. “He won’t get a chance. We’ll find him and kill him before he ever gets wind of you. I won’t let him get anywhere near you, Eva. You have my word.”

“No,” I shook my head and leaned towards him to whisper, “Not him.”

Angel frowned, looking at me in confusion. He opened his mouth to speak.

Nurse Hutchins came bustling back in, a syringe in her gloved hands. “All right. Just hold still, Eva, this will help you rest now.”

Seeing the needle, I jerked against Angel’s iron grip, suddenly desperate to get away from the shiny metal . “But you don’t understand! He’s still--ow ow ow!”

She stuck the needle in my left arm and injected me quickly, removing the needle just as quickly. Before I could object further I fell back against the bed as my strength began to disappear, along with my will to resist. I sagged, all my limbs going limp. The panic began to ebb away as I stared up at Angel. He was becoming fuzzier and fuzzier, moving farther and farther away down a long dark tunnel until he disappeared into darkness.