The Journal of Buffy Summers

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PREVIOUSLY – Buffy and Willow retrieved the trunk hidden by Spike in the sewers containing Wesley’s journal. After battling mysterious attackers who tried to claim the trunk, they transported to Buffy’s suite to open it. It was magically sealed and when Willow dripped blood on it, they discovered that Wesley had sealed it with a blood spell and now it was ready to be opened.

Page 12 – Pandora’s Box
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JOURNAL NOTE: Giles why is it that men seem to think that they know what is best for me without asking my opinion? I am so, so tired of being abandoned for my own good. Do you think that is why my own dead beat father has stayed away? For my own good? Sorry, you are probably feeling the twinges of guilt right now for leaving me in the past too, as well you should.

After reading this entry, I hope that you will have Dawn packed and ready for her trip to Los Angeles as soon as possible. I’m hoping that you will be able to accompany her back; I need you here to help with the research on Wesley’s journal. With the exception of Willow, we are not too much with the brains department here. Besides, Andrew can handle things just fine at Watcher headquarters without you.

Giles you know that I want to keep our discoveries a secret but I really miss the old days of being together and right now, I am missing having you and Xander here.

I hope he is doing alright, haven’t heard from him in a good long while.

Anyhow keep reading – you’ll see why I’m so depressed.

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The truck lid opened up easily as Willow and I expectantly looked at each other before looking inside.

“Well, at least we didn’t just open up a Pandora’s Box,” Willow commented with a big sigh of relief. We both were nervous about the contents contained inside the chest, especially when someone had gone to great lengths to try to steal it away from us.

The first thing we saw was a scroll tied with brown twine set on top of a bound leather journal that must’ve belonged to Wesley. Below his journal lay several volumes of large books.

“Wow!” Willow squealed excitedly. She reminded me of the old Willow from back in high school. “Wesley gave us more than just his journal. These other books look like they came from Wolfram & Hart’s library.”

She immediately lifted the scroll and Wesley’s journal out of the chest and then proceeded to take out the other books and placed them next to her on the floor. Reading their titles, Willow softly whispered. “Hmmm, they seem to be rare tomes, codex and grimoire books. Giles is so gonna wig out at having these babies for his library.” Willow’s eyes were wide and sparkled as she lovingly ran her hand over one of the ornate leather books.

“Yeah,” I agreed as I looked inside the chest. “I guess Wesley still kept his watchers appreciation for rare and powerful books. He knew that they would be in good hands with Giles and not fall into the wrong hands.” I idly wondered if maybe that is why our surprise sewer squad was looking to find the trunk before we could.

“Uh Willow…they’re not evil books are they?” I asked. “Wesley wouldn’t leave us evil books would he?

“Nope the only evil thing about them is that they weigh quite a bit,” Willow reassured me.

Leaning forward and craning my neck I looked inside the chest as I held my breathe in anticipation hoping that it contained more items. I was not disappointed. Carefully folded at the bottom of the chest I spotted what Spike had contributed to its contents. It was his leather duster that he always wore. It was tattered and appeared to be scorched around the edges.

Reverently reaching inside, I took it out with great care. I immediately brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply. Spike’s scent was very much still ingrained into the leather despite the light smoky smell that clung to it.

Once again, tears rolled freely down my face as I placed it against my cheek remembering the vampire who had worn it for so many years. My only thought was to find him and tell him that I loved him. We could use it to locate him. I only hoped that it was not too late and that Willow was not too worn out from her earlier use of magic’s.

Willow just sat back watching me with Wesley’s journal placed on her lap as she wondered and expressed the same thought that had crossed my mind.

“Why would Spike leave his duster behind Buffy?” Willow asked as she reached out and ran her fingers over the worn leather. “It was his prized trophy and he wore it like badge of honor being all big and bad with the imagery. Even damaged I don’t think that he would have left..” Willow abruptly stopped mid sentence after looking up into my face.

Wiping away my tears, I swallowed the lump in my throat and replied, “I don’t know Will, but he wouldn’t just leave it behind without a good reason.” What I didn’t verbalize for fear of it becoming true was that Spike acted like someone who was giving away all his worldly possessions before they met their end.

“It looks like it has been blown up,” Willow said and then quickly looked at me regretting her slip of tongue.

“Do you think that you could do a locater spell to see if we can find him Will?” I know that my eyes were pleading with her and even though I knew that she had exhausted herself using magic, I couldn’t wait another day to find out.

“I don’t see why not, why don’t you go and read Angel’s letter while I set up the spell to find him. In fact why don’t I take the duster with me that way I can judge what ingredients I’ll need to use to track him with” Willow suggested.

“Okay, sounds like a plan, do you think that you can use the same spell to find Angel?” I asked expectantly.

“Um sure I can but I’ll need to do his separately so take your time reading his letter and I’ll set up the ingredients and supplies to do one right after the other.

Handing over Spikes duster Willow left as I fetched Angel’s letter and carefully opened it. The seal looked like it had already been opened and then resealed again. That just confirmed my suspicious that Riley was keeping secrets from me in our earlier meeting. But there would be plenty of time later to put two and two together on the direction my suspicions were heading.

Lifting the folded stationary out and opening it up, I discovered that Angel had inserted some photographs with his letter. There were photographs of Angel and Spike together and Angel did not look too happy in them. My eyes misted over as I touched their faces happy that I had some tangible memories for my personal photo album. I guess Angel knew that I had lost all personal photos of mom and our lives growing up and he just wanted to add more to my new collection.

There were others of the Angel team complete with Fred before her transformation into Illyria. Then there was one of Cordelia holding a baby and one of a young man. Angel had hand written the name “Conner” on the back of both. Interesting for him to have a photo of someone that young and the more I stared at his face the more I got a funny feeling about him. I guess his letter will tell me more about Connor.

I then turned my attention to the letter and it looked to be a letter of recommendation for Harmony with details of her job description…about three pages all together. Now what? I can see why Riley handed it over to me. He couldn’t see what the big whoop would be in keeping it a secret from me. Am I supposed to see a code? Ugh! Angel always was cryptic guy! Panicked I started trying to see if maybe his handwriting showed any visible signs of a code and it became too much for me emotionally. To come this far only to not be able to decipher some stupid code Angel forgot to let me in on.

Wiping my face again of tears, I touched the stationary where the gryphon was drawn on it and then it began to transform before my astonished eyes. What the hell was too mild an expression for what I was feeling as the handwriting swirled around in a vortex and then it rearranged itself on the paper. More magic, only this time it was activated by my tears. Interesting, I guess Angel knew that I would be all weepy when I opened up his letter. It is strange Giles; the Angel I knew would never have touched magic. Ever since he became head of Evil Incorporated, his views on using it changed dramatically.

Getting comfortable in my lounge chair I sat down to read what Angel felt was important enough to magically camouflage for my eyes only.

Giles here is a scan of what was written.

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Buffy,

Wish I were there in person to tell you this but if you got this far then you know by now that I can not be found. Don’t bother trying to look for me because if I haven’t contacted you before you got this letter, it can only mean that I am gone.

There are so many things that I wish I could have told you before we got to this point but we always knew in our heart of hearts that our time together was nothing more than just a fleeting moment in time.

First I have to tell you that I once was turned human and we had a chance to spend our lives together. The normal life I left you for was mine to share with you and I gave you and my human existence up. Try to understand Buffy, as a man I was weak and would have gotten you killed trying to protect me.

It happened when you came to Los Angeles hot on my trail after my not so stealthy appearance during Thanksgiving in Sunnydale. We fought a Mohra Demon and its regenerative blood turned me human. We shared one beautiful day together but I soon realized that we were never meant to be. The Mohra demon warned us that a great darkness was coming and as a mortal man I would be one less warrior in the battle against that darkness. So at that time, I bargained with the Oracles and had time turned back 24 hours. Our agreement allowed for me to retain the memories of that day to keep me from repeating the same events that would have turned me human again the second time around. Don’t be angry with me for making that hard decision for the two of us, there is a purpose for everything we do.

Well I guess that dark time is here but what I never expected was that in giving up my human life that I was never meant to be a warrior fighting on the side of good. That was my one and only chance to redeem myself as a human but I gave it up thinking that I would be a better fighter as a vampire. Making that one decision set into motion so many events for the side of evil that has lead to this time of great impending darkness.

For a short while I thought that I would get a second chance at being human again after Wesley discovered a scroll written by Aberjian called “The Shanshu Prophecy.” It was about a vampire with a soul and I foolishly thought that it was meant for me.

Looking back, a demon called Voca who as an emissary to Jasmine purposely brought back Darla from hell so that we could conceive a child together. My child would then be the father that would bring Jasmine into our dimension. Their scheme worked, Darla and I have a son together and his name is Connor. I’ve included pictures of him with this letter so you’ll know what he looks like. Jasmine orchestrated all of us from the very beginning so that she could be born into this world and she needed a unique soul to make it happen. That unique soul was Connor, he is my son and you must protect him Buffy like you would protect Dawn with your life from Angelus.

I’m sure that by now you know about “The Circle of The Black Thorn” and how they rule over this earth for Wolfram & Hart. It seems that the demons that make up the circle have been in power for a very long time and the senior partners felt that it was time to get rid them. The partners saw them as old men that grew stagnant and arrogant in their position of power and were looking for new blood to fill in the vacancies as well as dispatch the current members.

Many were vying to fill the vacancies. They were “The First Evil, Jasmine” and countless others trying to impress the senior partners enough to gain access within the firm to infiltrate the circle but the only one they wanted was Angelus. He proved to be more vicious and cunning than all the rest. That is why the First Evil targeted me to eliminate the competition and then Jasmine wanted to have me align myself with her through Connor to ensure that Angelus would not be unleashed and keep her from her intended goal.

Well Angelus was unleashed again to fight another evil but this time he made a contract with Wolfram & Hart to keep my soul from being permanently anchored before Willow could perform the cursing spell. I only became recently aware of my black outs when Angelus assumed control of our body through a parasite called a solvent.

The solvent made me recall when Angelus signed a contract with Lilah (the attorney who presented the offer to him) before her untimely death. Illyria or Wesley’s journal can fill in the blanks on her. She was a victim of Jasmine who was angry that despite her efforts that her competitor Angelus had secured himself a chance for a spot within the circle.

I’m sure you’ve been told that all the members of the Black Thorn were killed but Angelus is the only one remaining and is now heading the circle and picking and choosing who he wants to fill the vacancies. He will hunt down those he feels threatened by starting with you, Dawn, Connor and Spike. Spike is the only one who can stop the Armageddon from happening and will be the one in most danger. He is the one who the Shanshu prophecy was meant for.

Don’t trust anyone Buffy, there are unknown factions for the power of good that are willing to kill to unbalance the scales and have already attempted to kidnap me once before using cyborgs. Wesley was the one they used to infiltrate our firm by using a glamour spell and impersonating his father. They failed and now I fear that one of them will probably infiltrate your group. I don’t know what they wanted to do to me but I have a feeling that they wanted to turn me into their puppet and run the black thorn through me.

Collect Spike, Connor and Dawn and keep them protected, good and evil will try to use or manipulate you through them to get what they want.

I’m sorry Buffy for not being brave enough to stay human for you and give you the normal life you deserved. I was not strong enough to try to fight as a man and now I have unleashed Angelus permanently and sealed my fate in the process. You must not hesitate to kill him; he cannot be cursed with my soul anymore. I fear that he will hold me hostage within our shared body for the rest of my days to suffer by experiencing the atrocities he commits. You must stake him to free me.

Goodbye my love.

Eternally yours,
Angel

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Well Giles. wasn't that the nicest “Dear Jane” letter ever written? If I hadn’t already set my mind on Spike I would have been torn apart by it.

We need to find out who has the ability to impersonate Wesley’s father, obviously they have access to Council records and those got blown up with the old council. I've got a very bad feeling about all of this Giles and I need to have Dawn protected immediately. I want her in Los Angeles first chance and will only trust you to make the arrangements for a private jet to transport her. I’m immediately sending Kennedy out to go and pick her up and then fly back with her and that will serve to keep her from getting information out of Willow about what we are dealing with.

So now not only do I have to find Spike and Angelus but now I have to protect Connor as well. Things are getting more and more complicated and my slayer senses are screaming at me to find Spike and Connor quickly.

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Having finished reading Angel’s letter I noticed that Willow had not returned yet. I wondered what could be keeping her for so long. So I headed for the elevator and went looking for her.

Stepping out into the lobby I noticed that everyone was gathered in the lobby. Noticing me Faith and Robin Woods motioned me over to them and as I got closer I noticed a figure lying on the lobby counter.

It was one of our sewer attackers and Illyria had her hand stuck into his abdomen digging around his insides.

“Is he still alive?” I asked as I pushed my way forward trying to see why Faith, Robin and Willow had allowed Illyria to take control of the situation.

Looking at the figure laid out on the lobby counter I noticed that his hands and legs were tied with rope and he was being held down by Faith and Robin.

“What the hell is going on here?” I asked my eyes bouncing off Faith, Robin and Willow not believing that they would allow a captive to be tortured in such a cruel way.

“Quiet, I almost have the detonation device turned off but I need to concentrate to make sure that we do not trigger the explosive hidden inside his body,” Illyria locked eyes momentarily with me as she never stopped her movements inside the struggling body in front of her.

It was all I could do to bite my tongue and not breathe out another word, the mere mention of detonation and explosive had me being a spectator to the little drama unfolding in front of me.

“It is done,” Illyria unemotionally announced as she locked eyes with me again and titled her head as if she were looking at something that intrigued her.

Can we say major wiggin’s here Giles, she knows something and her not being all truth having is creeping me out. Again with the need you bodily here ASAP!

Looking away from Illyria’s intense gaze I immediately went into slayer mode and demanded to know just what the hell was going on.

“How come no one called me to let me know that you caught…” I was immediately interrupted by Willow before my slip of tongue on letting everyone know that we were in the sewers looking for the chest.

“I told them not to disturb you Buffy because you were jet lagged and taking a nap.” Willow quickly added.

“Yeah right…so what’s the deal with ninja guy here? Why are you playing operation on his guts?”

“He is one of the cyborgs who attacked us at Wolfram and Hart and they have an internal self destruct device inside their bodies that goes off to prevent them from talking if they are captured,” Illyria explained.

Before I could ask another question, the doors to the lobby opened as more flowers poured in with an entourage behind the delivery man.

Next thing I know Illyria makes this unearthly sound as she launches herself at one of the figures entering and is thrown back into the air when she is struck with a casual backhand.

Shaking my head to clear my vision, my mouth dropped open as I saw my immortal ex-boyfriend standing at the door smiling at me and ignoring Illyria as she lay on the floor.

“Why did you attack him Illyria?” I questioned as my mind became overloaded with what had just happened.

“He is one of the senior partners who imprisoned me,” Illyria growled as she got back on her feet.

All heads turned back to gape at my ex with their jaws dropped to the floor.

Tbc…


AUTHOR'S NOTE: My sincerest apologies for the delay in posting to my story. Real life took a huge chunk out of my life and I'm sorry that my updating took so long. I hope that my readers will return and keep reading my story.