Again I Go Unnoticed

Buffy wearily eyed the shiny, black case gripped tightly in Anya’s right hand.

Any and all good feelings about this situation had quickly withered and died the second Ahn ended the discussion on ‘sperm stain removal’ to run out to her car and retrieve that mysterious, crafted from Italian leather case with the unmistakably evil sheen.

Shutting the door to Spike’s room, Anya flopped down onto the floor, gently laying the case in front of her, and Buffy gulped.

"Buffy, Willow, gather round." She patted the empty spaces on both sides of her.

An identical look of dread passed between the two girls but they did as told.

"I feel like we’ve stumbled onto some forbidden girl meeting," Xander huffed, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He and Spike huddled together, leaning against a rather large dresser, equally as frightened as Buffy and Willow appeared to be, but trying hard to play it cool.

Catching a glimpse of a discarded sandwich behind him, Xander reached around and tore off half, popping it into his mouth. "…Please shoot me if they start calling each other names like ‘Goddess Wind’ and talking about the menstrual cycle."

Spike snorted. "That ham and cheese has been there for two weeks, Harris."

He paled and spat into his hand. "God, I hate you."

Ignoring the comment, the bleach-blonde turned his attention to the circle of girls. "I’m hoping this is that chemistry lesson you seemed so eager to get started on Buffy," he teased.

"So am I," Willow mumbled.

"This is a lesson of a different kind," Anya informed him with a smile while she popped the snaps on the case. "You and Xander are welcome to stay and observe – and note taking is always encouraged." She grinned at Willow. "It pays to be diligent."

"How different is this lesson, Buffy?" Willow hissed nervously.

Beads of sweat broke out on her forehead. "It’s um… it’s not really…"

"Different isn’t always a good. Different can be bad! Very, very…"

The large, life-like dildo Anya slammed onto the floor stopped poor Willow mid-sentence.

"Oh my god!"

"This is Kong," Anya said completely unfazed, continuing to remove the contents of the case. "Not for novices, but it’s good to have him along for reference points." She gently patted the tip, making the penis sway back and forth.

Briefly shutting her eyes, Buffy swallowed yet another lump and made the mistake of looking in Spike’s direction –

He’s smirking?!

Not even a hint of embarrassment on his face, Spike casually left his post against the dresser and took a seat next to a wide-eyed Xander on the end of the bed. His grin widened when he caught Buffy staring at him and he licked his lips.

Narrowing her eyes, Buffy fought the urge to choke him.

"This is not science!" Willow shrieked. "No part of this is science!"

"Ahn…" Buffy leaned in and whispered harshly, "what happened to diagrams?!"

"Oh, I was going to do that, but then I remembered I had this in the trunk and thought a more hands on approach would be better..."

"Approach to what?! What the hell are we approaching?!" the redhead yelled.

Anya beamed. "The art of blowjobs."

And at that moment, Xander fell off of the bed onto the floor in a coughing fit.

"You have these models to choose from." Anya expertly gestured to the five dildos arranged before her according to size. "Kong is an option – if you’re bold enough…"

Willow scrambled to her feet. "There’s no way I’m touching those things!"

"Never would’ve guessed you were such a prude, Willow," Anya said with snort.

She frowned. "I am not a prude!"

The girl ‘tsked’ shaking her head. "Imagine years from now, all of your boyfriends getting together…" she paused, "assuming you ever get a boyfriend let alone multiple ones. Just think about what they’ll say ‘oh – that Willow, sweet girl but terrible at giving oral pleasure. If only she had taken lessons.’"

"They wouldn’t say that!" Willow screamed fists clenched at her side. "Mostly, because no sane human being talks like that!"

"Wills!" Buffy looked up at her former friend with pleading eyes, "Please don’t make me do this alone."

After what seemed like an eternity, Willow grudgingly reclaimed her spot on the floor and snatched up what looked to her to be the least intimidating of the selections, letting it rest in her lap. "My ethics train means nothing to you, huh?"

Buffy smiled sheepishly and with a tiny sigh grabbed the dildo next to the infamous Kong.

"I’m dreaming, right?" He shook his head skeptically. "Stuff like this doesn’t happen to Xander Harris – any minute now I’m gonna wake up in my bed covered in sticky sheets."

Spike blankly stared at the babbling boy.

"If this is your dream, you git, why would I be here?"

Eyes straight ahead on the girls, Xander positioned his legs Indian style on the floor and put his head in his hands.

"Point taken."

"Confidence…" Anya begun, "is of the utmost importance. If you doubt your pleasure-giving abilities, then the whole situation will be painful for the both of you. Relax,e dee deep breaths if necessary." Picking up Kong, she held it up in the air for the others to see. "One hand should be wrapped around the base of the penis. This is your guide – if the guy is too big, this hand can be used to stroke the half of his length your tongue is neglecting…"<
<

"Holy Moses!" Xander cried out.

"Squeezing makes a wonderful addition to stroking, but be gentle," she prattled on turning towards Willow "you’re not playing Mistress of Pain."

That elicited a snicker from Buffy and a shrug from the, flushed redhead.

"Your base hand can also help you set a steady rhythm. If it helps, think of it in terms of one – and – two – and – three – and." With her free hand, Anya tapped the beat out on the floor. "Like music."

"Would these be eighth notes?" Willow deadpanned.

"ixteixteenth, whichever speed you prefer," Anya said completely missing the sarcasm. "Now, the head of the penis is the epicenter of nerves – concentrate on it. Swirl that tongue around it. Note the slit – this is a perfect place for grazing…"

Spike coughed loudly and shifted his weight on the bed.

"The last point I want to make before I get to the demonstration is…" She palmed the model’s faux balls, " mind the stepchildren. Caress them, fondle them; just don’t forget those suckers are hanging there! Now…" starttarted with a smile, "I’ll show you all of these things put together and then you two can try it yourselves."

"Can’t wait," was Willow’s sardonic reply.

There was a stunned silence in the room as Anya expertly wrapped her lips around Kong.

"I think I love her," Xander breathed dreamily.

After what could have only been five minutes but seemed like an eternity to the others, Kong slipped from Anya’s mouth with a tiny ‘pop’ and she turned an expectant grin on Buffy and Willow.

"Alright, you’re up!"

"At the same time?!" Willow squeaked.

She shrugged. "You can take turns, I guess."

Looks were exchanged between the two and Willow dramatically grabbed her throat,

"Mine’s feeling a little sore," she said, voice strained, "Buffy you go first."

"What?!"

Willow glared. "Your idea, remember."

"Don’t be afraid, Buffy." Anya encouragingly patted her on the back.

Oh. My. God. Reluctantly opening her mouth, the blonde slid her mouth over the dildo, a pained expression etched on her face.

Anya snapped, "Don’t look like you’re gonna cry. Men don’t like that."

Keeping the urge to curl up into a ball and die of total embarrassment at bay, Buffy ran over Ahn’s instructions in her head going through the motions, as best she could.

"Look up occasionally," Anya ordered. "Pretend you’re making eye contact with Angel. Eye contact can be very erotic."

Doing as told, Buffy glanced upwards looking straight ahead and nearly gasped when her eyes locked with Spike’s.

Repetitive, mental ‘Anya Instruction’ was slowly fading away as her heart lurched painfully in her chest. Buffy’s motions slowed, a bizarre confidence washed over her body, her gaze on Spike never once unwavering…

And he seemed equally as entranced.

It was like being under a spell that had no intentions of breaking – and the way he was looking at her…

Why the hell is he looking at me like that?!

"Okay, you can stop now!"

Anya’s voice jolted the both of them.

Xander raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

Spike merely coughed and shifted on the bed again. "Never better."

"Wow, Buffy!" Anya beamed excitedly. "Who knew you were such an eager beaver?! Alright, Willow, your turn. Put that bad-boy in your mouth and get to work!"