Later in the Ashes

Later in the Ashes (Chapter Eleven)

There was silence at the other end of the line for a moment before Angel spoke. Willow’s heart stopped beating until he did.

“Put him on the phone.”

Somehow, those were not the most reassuring words Willow could have heard, but she hastened to obey nonetheless. She looked over at Spike and held the receiver out to him. “Angel wants to talk to you.”

“So dear ol’ dad wants to lay down the law, eh?” Spike’s casual words belied the hand that shook as he took the phone.

Spike’s mouth opened to speak, but it seemed he was cut off by the voice on the other end. She wished she could go upstairs and listen in on the extension, but she didn’t dare risk getting caught. Besides, it was wrong.

“Yeah,” he finally interjected, “but…” Another long pause followed. “She’s family.” Willow figured at that point that she was the subject of at least some of the conversation. More sort-of silence, punctuated by a few sputtering attempts at interruption from Spike, all of which failed, until, “Yeah, yeah, Peaches. Sure thing.” He held the receiver out to Willow, who was sitting, white-knuckled and worried, waiting to find out just what was going on. “Dad wants to talk to you again.”

She got up immediately and nearly grabbed the receiver out of his hand. Much to her shock, he walked out of the room without another word.

“Angel?” she said with some trepidation. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” The voice at the other end was a smooth, self-satisfied purr. She was reminded more than a bit of Angelus. Somehow, that didn’t bother her nearly as much as she knew it should. Was that only because she knew he couldn’t lose his soul with her or was there also a part of her that liked Angel’s demon?

“So, what did you guys talk about?” Smooth, Willow. Way to be cagy.

“Nothing much. I was just laying down a few ground rules for William, letting him know the way things will be when he lives under my roof.”

“So it’s okay, then? You aren’t mad at me for inviting him? Because I couldn’t just leave him here, not with Buffy dating Riley now and…”

“Willow,” Angel interrupted. “It’s okay.” He paused for a moment. “Is there any reason in particular why you asked him without even telling me first?”

Oh crap. That was a really good question - not one she wanted to answer, but a really good question, nonetheless. She had hoped to have more time to come up with a safe and sanitized version of tonight’s events and just how involved in the Initiative she had come to realize Riley actually was. Maybe if she said it all really fast Angel wouldn’t realize she’d been in peril.

“Giles kind of got turned into a Fyarl demon and Spike and I had to help him and…well…the Initiative chased us, only Spike did this really neat evasive driving stuff just like in the movies and they all crashed into each other so we got away just fine and then we got to the motel where Ethan Rayne was and we got him to fix Giles and when it was over Riley whipped out his phone and called his commando headquarters and used a lot of official military talk that sounded…well, really official, like he was an in-charge guy talking to an even more in-charge guy and hey, I couldn’t exactly leave Spike here after finding that out and…” What her explanation lacked in coherence, it made up for in speed, that was for sure.

“You were chased by the Initiative?” Angel’s voice was cold and hard and Willow got the impression that her attempts to make it all sound like a quaint lark had failed miserably.

“Uh-huh,” she answered, her voice shaking like leaves in a wind storm. So was she, for that matter.

“Well, then, it’s a good thing I told Spike to pack. You’ll be leaving tomorrow.” He wasn’t asking her. He was telling her.

A part of Willow wanted to protest that this wasn’t the 18th century anymore and he really had no right to order her around. But there was a reason she was attracted to Angel’s demon and the reason was…she didn’t actually mind that he ordered her around -at least not as long as he kept it to a minimum and only when she was in danger that she more than likely wouldn’t get out of if left to her own devices. Like now, for instance.

“Okay,” she answered, a bit superfluously since she knew she hadn’t actually had the option to disagree.

“I love you.” The words shocked her, as did the sudden tremor in Angel’s voice. She wanted to say that she loved him, too, but he hung up before she could say anything at all.

She listened to the dial tone for what might have been a very long time before she put the receiver down and went upstairs.

Angel loved her.

She wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight.

*****

Surprisingly, she was wrong about that. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow and felt amazingly well-rested when she awoke at 7 A.M. She wondered about that fact and ran it through her mind over and over again, but she couldn’t figure it out and finally decided that maybe she should just be grateful, go take a shower, and eat some breakfast before calling Giles to set up a goodbye meeting with her friends…oh, and Anya, since she and Xander were still joined at the genitals. She decided not to take Spike. If Buffy brought Riley, she would want to carefully edit her speech to exclude any mention of his departing with her. She didn’t want Riley asking any questions about him and precipitating any revelations that would lead to him figuring out just where Hostile 17 had gone. After all, despite Willow being the one with the rep as a bad liar, Buffy wasn’t really any better. Especially not now that Willow’s success with the “Aunt Esther” story seemed to indicate a greater facility at deception than she’d ever been suspected to possess.

She was out of the shower in a trice, her imminent reunion with Angel managing to keep any and all naughty thoughts at bay, and after brushing her teeth and hair, and getting dressed, she headed downstairs to the kitchen. Spike’s duffel (well, a duffel from her parents’ closet she assumed contained Spike’s things and – with any luck – only Spike’s things) sat on a chair next to the one where he sat drinking pig’s blood from a coffee mug and staring at nothing Willow could discern.

“Hey,” she said. Let no one accuse her of being a slouch in the witty banter department.

“Hey,” he replied, obviously feeling she’d said it best and why mess with perfection.

“Looking forward to living in L.A.?” She showed a lot of teeth and hoped like heck it resembled a smile.

“Movin’ back in with Dad? Sure thing.” There was anything but a smile in return and Willow couldn’t help but feel badly for him. It was sort of analogous to being a grown man who couldn’t cut it out in the world and had to move into his parents’ basement or something.

Now would so be a bad time to mention that she’d just seen a strong resemblance between Spike and Xander.

“It won’t be so awful, Spike.”

“I’m gathering Peaches didn’t fill you in on the substance of our conversation then?”

“That bad?”

“Not if you don’t mind enough rules to make a prison inmate chafe.”

There really wasn’t anything to say to that. She was pretty sure that Angel had only made pretty normal requests in terms of Spike’s behavior, but then again, there had been that Angelus-y tone in his voice and maybe he had gone a bit overboard in the ‘I am your sire and you’ll do as I say’ department.

She went to the freezer and took out a couple of frozen waffles. Not the most nutritious breakfast ever, but tasty in a ‘processed food’ sort of way and filled with enough carbohydrates to see her through a tough morning. She popped them into the toaster, got the margarine out of the fridge, and made the tough choice: powdered sugar or imitation maple-flavoured syrup. Given her upcoming challenges, she opted for the sugar rush and went back into the refrigerator for the box of fluffy, white, powdery goodness.

In a minute or two, she was sitting across from Spike. He looked askance at her culinary achievements, but she opted to ignore his rather snobbish expression. He was obviously stuck in a time warp free of modern convenience foods and where women or servants lived only to do the cooking. Welcome to the 21st century. She wasn’t going to spend ages making batter and pouring it into a waffle iron after waking up at 4 A.M. to milk cows and churn her own butter just so she could have waffles.

It didn’t take long for her to finish eating and she took her plate and cutlery to the sink. She was surprised when Spike not only brought his mug to her, but then nudged her out of the way and began washing the dishes.

“Thanks.”

“It’s nothing. I gotta have something to do while you call your little pals and say those tearful goodbyes. I’d rather deal with these waterworks than those.” Spike was so gracious.

Willow decided to start learning to accept that Spike was who he was. After all, it might come in handy when she had to mediate disputes between him and Angel. So she let Spike have the last word and went upstairs to pack before calling Giles. She didn’t want to assume he was awake as early as she was after having been a demon the day before.

It occurred to her that it was about time she found that disc with the curse on it, so she started rooting through her stacks of computer stuff. Wow. She kept everything. That wasn’t necessarily a sound practice, she realized as she found a disc containing that Doogie Howser fanfic she’d written long ago. Yikes. She carefully broke it into dozens of pieces and threw it away. No evidence, no crime, right?

Not long after splintering her youthful folly, she found what she was looking for: the disc. The disc.

No time like the present to find out what’s what with your boyfriend’s soul, she thought as she powered up her computer and popped the disc right in.

Sprits of the Interrignum…blah, blah, blah. The curse itself wasn’t a whole lot of help. Just how good were these Oracles? Willow wondered, because she wasn’t altogether sure they could be trusted right now.

But wait…Jenny had made notes. Notes...in English. Yay! How great was that? Maybe the answer was somewhere in them.

And it was. Bless Jenny. Willow mentally hugged her, thanking her for continuing to be her friend even after she was dead and gone, because right here in the midst of some stream-of-consciousness rambling about just what was meant by the curse’s stipulation about “Angel’s soul no longer being a thing of torment to him” was what Willow was certain was the answer the Oracles had said she had: What it meant was that Angel had to feel human; to feel at one with that very soul; to lose the awareness that he was a demon at all.

That was what it had been like with Angel and Buffy.

That wasn’t what it was like with Angel and Willow.

Now, suddenly, it all made sense. Because really, there had to have been times even before he and Buffy had sex when Angel wasn’t completely and utterly tormented by his soul. By the time she met him, he actually seemed pretty used to it. He’d even joked with her about honing his brooding skills.

There was always something lost in translation. Willow was just so thankful that Jenny had found it.

She took out the disc and placed it reverently back in its case. Then she kissed the case. Then she turned off the computer. Wait ‘til Angel heard the news.

She was almost in a daze as she packed. Sure, the Oracles had already given them the green light, but having confirmation finally made a believer out of her.

The funny thing was the guilt…the guilt that wasn’t there anymore. Here she was, heading off to her happily ever after, and she didn’t feel like she was taking something that belonged to Buffy anymore. One more thing to thank Jenny for. She’d remember her every day, as well, just like Jesse. Maybe she’d put up a little shrine to the both of them or something at her and Angel’s place.

She did her packing in a trice. She figured she’d probably be forced into redoing her wardrobe by Cordelia, so she packed favorites and a few essentials but decided to leave most of her clothes behind. She did, however, pack up her photos, favorite books, and other mementos. Next , she called an auto glass company to arrange the repair of the window on her parents’ car and used the credit card they allowed her ‘for emergencies’ to arrange for a rental car to take her and Spike to L.A., remembering to make sure the back windows had dark tinting. She wasn’t sure just when she and her light-sensitive companion would leave and it was better to be safe than sorry.

Was she really done? She supposed so as she looked at the plastic bag containing her toiletries. Now there was no excuse to postpone the inevitable. She picked up the phone again and called Giles.

“Hello?” the familiar British voice intoned.

“Hi, Giles.” She tried hard to sound perky, but she already missed him and she wasn’t even gone yet.

“Willow. How are you this morning?”

“Umm…fine, I guess.” Why was that a tough question? “I kind of need to ask you a favour. Could you call Buffy and Xander and tell them that they need to be at your place soon for a meeting? I would call them, but they don’t take me all that seriously and they’d probably just expect me to tell my news over the phone and…”

“I understand.” Giles could obviously hear the emotion in her voice. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. And yes, I talked to Angel. There was a bunch of laying down ground rules and sire/childe stuff with Spike last night, but he seems to be okay with it, and…”

“And?”

“He told me he loves me.”

“Oh.”

“I know it’s not your ideal for me, but he makes me happy and I love him, too, you know?”

“I would never want it said that I disapproved of you being happy.”

Naturally, Willow had to blurt out something to ruin the almost-moment. “I found the curse today - the disc, I mean. There were notes and…yeah, Angel and I really are safe.”

Jenny Calendar’s name, while unspoken, hung over them; whether it was a chandelier or a guillotine blade, Willow could not be sure.

“That’s…that’s excellent news.”

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t handle telling you about that well, did I?”

It was almost a minute before Giles spoke again. “No need to apologize. I’m glad to know you have nothing to fear.” There was a lump in his throat; Willow could hear that. But there was warmth, too, and he meant what he said.

She wanted to say something kind and comforting, something like “I know wherever she is that she still loves you”, but she knew it would come out wrong and only cause him more pain.

“I better get off the phone so you can call Buffy and Xander.”

“Yes, I suppose I should do that right now. You’re leaving…?”

“Today. Angel kind of thought the sooner the better. I sort of mentioned getting chased by Riley’s buddies last night and…”

“I’ll tell them to be here within the hour.”

“I’ll be there.” With that, Willow hung up the phone.

Now all she had to do was pick up the rental car and get her story straight. Oh goody. Nothing she was looking forward to more than offering a pack of lies as her parting gift to her best friends.

*****

Willow took a deep breath before reaching for Giles’s door knob. She heard four voices inside: Giles, Buffy, Xander, and the dreaded Anya. She didn’t hear Riley, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there. She was glad it was only 11 A.M. That had made it easy to dissuade Spike from trying to accompany her. He might regret missing any potential discord, but not enough to risk bursting into flames.

“Hey, guys,” she said as she walked in. Well, at least Riley wasn’t there.

“Hey, Wills,” Xander said with a mock chumminess that hurt. He wasn’t even good at faking it anymore. Willow hoped with all her heart that absence really did make the heart grow fonder, because she missed their former closeness more than ever right now. Inside her head, she promised Jesse she would try to fix things.

All the internal drama had caused a pause a bit too long not to be awkward and excite some curiosity. Except from Anya, of course, who merely sighed loudly and gazed at her nails as if she was wishing for a file. It made Willow realize that she wouldn’t miss everyone.

“I guess you’re all wondering why I asked Giles to gather you all here, huh?”

Another loud sigh from Anya. Surprisingly, it brought on a rebuke from Xander. “An, remember that courtesy thing we talked about?”

“I have to do that with Willow? I thought you said I only had to do that with important people.”

“An!” Xander whined.

A part of Willow wanted to say something nasty and cutting in response, but was that really how she wanted to be remembered as she drove away? No, it wasn’t. So she bit her tongue – literally, in fact, and it hurt.

“I …uh…I got a job offer and I’m leaving Sunnydale.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Good.”

Giles, of course, stayed silent…and that did not go unnoticed.

“Did you know about this?” Buffy asked him, more than a hint of suspicion in her tone.

“I…well…yes, as a matter of fact, Willow told me last night.”

“How come you knew before we did?” Buffy and Xander both rounded on Giles. Willow herself felt in danger of being forgotten as the discussion seemed about to become about her without including her. No one was even looking at her anymore.

“Hey, guys.” She spoke up, deciding to at least start her plan for new and improved relationships with her friends. “I’m standing over here. You can talk to me.”

Oddly, Anya now wore an expression Willow was cautiously tempted to classify as admiring. Buffy and Xander just looked confused. “Yeah, you know, I am the one who wanted to talk to you guys and this is sort of about me, well, not even sort of, it actually is about me…and my new job…and the fact that I’m leaving today.”

“Will, we were just…you’re leaving today?” Xander got it in one. Willow was nearly impressed. “But why?”

“Because it’s a great job. I get to do all the things I do now, only I’ll get paid for it.”

“You mean you got a job doing that computer stuff? But can’t you get a job doing that here?” Buffy managed to hurt Willow more than anyone had yet.

“No, Buffy, not just that computer stuff. Fighting evil, using my computer skills to find important information to help save the world, maybe a little magic – you know, all that stuff I’ve been doing with you since the 10th grade.”

“Oh,” Buffy replied, looking more puzzled than ever. “But what company does…” Her voice trailed off and Willow realized she had just figured it out. Wow. That was actually a pretty good bit of deduction. “You’re going to work with Angel?” It sounded like a question, but it wasn’t – not really.

“Yes, I am. He offered me a job and I took it.”

Willow waited for the explosion. She knew there’d be one; all that remained to be seen was from which direction it would come.

“What?!?” Xander. Why was she not surprised? “You’re going to work with Deadboy?”

“He goes by Angel these days, but yeah.”

“Why?” This time Buffy was the one who asked. Her voice was soft and filled with pain. Well, it wasn’t as if Willow had kidded herself into thinking Buffy was actually over Angel just because she was dating Riley.

“Because it’s a good job. Because they really need me there. Because I’ll be important and useful and part of a team again.”

“But Will, you’re part of a team here.” Xander was looking at her with those brown, puppy-dog eyes. They didn’t have the effect he was looking for.

“No, Xander, I’m not. When was the last time any of you spent five minutes with me without talking about me behind my back before I was even out of earshot? When was the last time you thought of me as a friend, and not as a burden whose problems are such a downer?”

“It’s that bad?” He paused for a moment and then sank down on Giles’s sofa. “Oh God, it’s that bad.”

Willow sat down next to Xander and put her hand on his shoulder. Of course, that elicited a comment from the peanut gallery.

“I don’t talk behind your back. Well, yeah, I do, but I also complain right to your face.” Anya had a point, Willow supposed. A bit of a pointless point, but a point, nonetheless.

She decided to ignore it, however. Anya wasn’t exactly her friend and she would rather spend her last hours in Sunnydale worrying about people she actually liked. “It’s my fault, too, Xan. It’s not like I’ve said anything about it. I just kept letting things go on and acting like it was okay. But it’s not and I should have said something a lot sooner.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Buffy sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug. “But you don’t have to leave. Especially not now. How can we make it up to you if you’re not here? I love you, Will.”

Buffy meant it. Willow knew that. But it didn’t change her mind. How could it? More than just a new job was waiting for her in L.A., though hopefully no one but Giles would ever know that.

“I love you, too. But I gave my word and besides, it’s a great job. It’s…what I want to do with my life. And hey, I can transfer to USC, or maybe even Cal Tech. They have some really cool courses I’d love to take and…”

“How did you end up getting a job offer from Angel, anyway?” Thanks, Anya.

“I…uh…I stopped by to see him when I was visiting my Aunt Esther and we got to talking and, well, Cordelia’s not such a computer genius, or really the world’s greatest research gal, so…”

“Doesn’t your aunt live in Carmel?”

Again…great time to actually remember stuff, Xander. Quick, think of a good cover story. “She does. Only I had her transferred to Cedars-Sinai because they have some great specialists there.”

“Oh.” Xander and Buffy both looked convinced and Giles wore a credible expression of belief as well. Anya didn’t seem to care.

“When are you leaving?” Anya asked.

“Probably this afternoon. I just have to make sure the car’s all sun-proofed and everything.” Now was as good a time as any, she supposed, to mention that Spike was going with her. “I don’t want Spike immolating or anything on the drive there.”

“Spike?” In two-part harmony, no less. Giles already knew and, of course, Anya still didn’t care. At least not about the fact that he was leaving with her.

“You two really are having orgasms, aren’t you? If you are, you really should pay me, because I’m the one who gave you the idea in the first place and…”

“An!”

“I’m not having sex with Spike.”

“Then why are you taking him with you?”

“Yeah, Willow. Not that I’m not happy that you’re not sleeping with Spike, because that’s just…ewww…but why on Earth are you taking him with you? And how is Angel going to deal with that? He hates Spike.”

“I already told him, Buffy, and he said it was okay. Besides, Spike will be living with me so Angel won’t even have to see him.” Was that a raised eyebrow on Giles’s face? Willow wanted to glare at him, but she didn’t dare. “And it’s not like I can leave him here. Think about it. You’re dating Riley. Grand Poobah of the Initiative? Spike would be in way too much danger of ending up back in a lab if he stayed here.”

Buffy seemed about to protest, but Willow cut her off at the pass. “Look, I think Riley’s a great guy and I’m all for you two crazy kids living happily ever after. But Spike’s my friend and I have to think about him, too. I don’t know much about Riley’s commando buddies. Maybe what they’re doing is a wonderful thing. If so, I’m all for it. But I’m not all for any of it happening to Spike again, okay?”

“Okay.”

Xander nodded as well. Good. Everyone could agree on something.

“I love you guys. You know that, right?”

“We love you, too, Wills,” Xander said, seemingly unconcerned as Anya glared daggers at him for using the “L” word in reference to another woman.

“He’s right. But you’re not gonna be gone forever, right? You’ll visit and stuff and maybe move back here someday…soon?” Buffy hugged her again, using a bit too much of the Slayer strength. Willow coughed, trying to alert Buffy to an increasingly urgent need to breathe. She got the hint. “Sorry,” she said as she patted Willow’s arm. “Occupational hazard.”

“I’ll visit. I promise. And there’s these neat things called phones, and I promise to use them, okay?” She had neatly sidestepped the issue of moving back and no one seemed the wiser. Hurrah.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“You got it.”

Xander reached over and pulled her into a hug. “What am I gonna do without you, Wills?” he whispered. “Sunnydale’s down to its last Musketeer now.”

That brought her to tears at last. He hadn’t forgotten Jesse. “We’ll always be the Three Musketeers, no matter where we are.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“You know what this occasion calls for?” a watery-eyed Buffy bounced to her feet and proclaimed. “Mochas! How else can we send Willow off to battle smog and other scary things in L.A.?”

General words of agreement were heard all ‘round and the five of them made their way out to Willow’s rental car.

She gazed in the rearview mirror at Buffy and Xander and Anya in the back seat and then beside her at Giles. It was going to hurt so much more to leave them than she’d thought it would only a few short days ago. Oddly, she was glad of that. She had her friends back, her family back, and that was a good thing - a very good thing, indeed


The End...but watch for the sequel, Boats Against the Current.