Slip Slide Melting

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Part 10

He was totally confused, even the soul still trying to work its way through the tangle of words that had just erupted from Xander’s mouth. That didn’t stop him from nearly flying to the bloke’s side and holding the longish dark hair back as far more liquid came out than had been consumed, the sour smell of bile not bothering him once he stopped breathing.

And how bizarre was it that he’d been breathing to begin with?

Still, maybe it made sense. He’d been shocked by the sheer volume of words coming from the man in a manner unlike the babbles he recalled so well, after all; not to mention the pure bitterness he’d heard when the subject of Xander’s former lovers inserted itself. More bitterness than the boy had shown even after losing his eye.

His free hand stroked the man’s sweat-sheened forehead lightly and when he was sure Xander was finished emptying himself, he sat back, dragging the larger body into his lap.

“I’m sorry, pet,” he murmured after a few moments. “Not for demanding an explanation, because you still owe me one of those. But I’m sorry about everything you’ve had to deal with, yeah? Sorry you’ve felt so alone and such. And you’re right. I don’t know what happened while I was… away. Those ‘Chaos-times’ you mentioned. Missed all of that and you’re likely right that I’m glad of it. Something you ought to know, though, luv…” Spike swallowed hard and smiled against Xander’s shoulder when the bloke’s cheek dropped to his hair.

“Wanted you… before. In the ‘dale. Before the soul and after.” He considered. “Mostly after, though. And then I burned and when I came back, you were in sodding Africa, yeah? Still there when…”

“The dragon…?” Xander whispered, his throat raw from yelling and heaving but unwilling to move from the incredible comfort of Spike’s hold although he knew it wouldn’t last. He couldn’t afford for it to last.

The vampire chuckled softly, fingers tangling lightly in silken brown strands. “Yeah, pet… the dragon. You were still in Africa when I burned the second time. Never had the chance to… well, and who am I kidding? The Xander Harris I remembered was so bloody straight that the idea of kissing a bloke would have had him running, much less knowing a vampire wanted to shag him… be shagged by him…”

The brunette sighed softly. “That… that’s the other reason I didn’t tell you it was me, Spike… I… fuck, I needed so badly to… I mean, I always have to be so in control and…”

“And you needed… wanted… someone else to be in charge for a little while, yeah?” Spike murmured, smiling at the almost imperceptible nod against his hair. “Think… maybe we can work with that, luv… long as you don’t mind taking control every once in a while.” He chuckled. “Not all the time, pet… loved fucking that tight ass of yours, didn’t I? But… you’ve got a brilliant shaft on you, mate. Wouldn’t mind finding out what you can do with it.”

Xander groaned unhappily, pulling away from the blond. “Y-yeah. Because you really still want me. Even knowing that… my work has to come first.”

Spike snorted. “Said I want you, mate. Didn’t swear undying love or devotion, did I?” He released the slightly larger man when he struggled; then he stood and returned to the couch. “Look, Xan. Think you know how much I loved being inside you, yeah? Not going to deny it now. Got history, we do. Not of the shagging kind, granted, but history anyway.”

The brunette slowly levered himself up from the floor and leaned against his desk, giving the vampire a considering gaze. “So?”

“So?” Spike repeated before leaning forward and grabbing another glass, holding it out for a fill-up that the other man finally provided. “So,” he continued, “I figure there’s things we can do for each other—to each other—that your ‘new world order’ types wouldn’t understand, yeah? Like you needing to be buggered all thorough-like every now and again… or me wanting you and that heat of yours, pet.”

“Just… sex, then?” Xander said after thinking for a minute or so, “Nothing serious?”

The vampire snorted again. “Serious enough, mate. Don’t share well, if you’ll recall. But not a grand, sweeping passion, right? Just… two blokes who’re familiar with each other from back in the day and trust each other not to tell tales. The bloody amazing sex is just a bonus.”

And Xander had never actually thought about that possibility. “Friends… who fuck. Huh.” He cocked his head, chewing the inside of his cheek as he thought about it. “That’s what you’re talking about, right? You and me. Friends.”

“Long as there’s shagging involved, pet, ‘friends’ will do.”

It was an easier decision to make than Xander had expected it to be, because he found himself replying after less than a moment.

“Yes.”

Spike smirked. “Besides, figure you could use a hand with that bloody Lex of yours. You know, pet… the one that looks and smells just like you. Doesn’t have your spirit, though.” He took a swig of whiskey and pursed his lips. “Hate to say it, Xander—well, no I don’t—but… your ‘son’ seems to be a sodding brat. Not to mention, so out of the closet that the door must be hanging from one hinge, if that.”

“Yeah,” the brunette said sadly, “He is. My fault, obviously. He didn’t grow up with my Dad.”

* * * * *

“They’re called mirror-twins,” Xander said a good ten minutes later, finally relaxing on the couch again… or relaxing as much as he could, considering. “Well, that’s what the media calls them, anyway. I guess it’s easier—and possibly less confusing—than ‘Pan-dimensional Co-existing Selves’. Besides, it doesn’t really matter what they’re called. They are… what they are.”

One brow arched as Spike sipped his drink, then he nodded. “Right, then. Leaving the whole question of ‘they’ for the moment, we’re talking about Lex. Pan-dimensional whats-it, then. So he really is you.”

A soft sigh and Xander made the questionable decision to have another drink. “Sort of. I… how much do you know about what happened after the Change, Spike? I mean, did you have the time to check… history?”

He laughed a little, seeing the look on the blond’s face—a look he remembered well from the few times the vampire had helped with research, back in the old days. “Okay. Short version, then…”

Xander closed his eyes and leaned his head back, glass resting lightly on his stomach.

“You know something about the Change. Well, what came after… those Chaos-times I was talking about earlier…? That was ugly.

“Imagine it, Spike. The entire world was in upheaval. Humans were Changing, shifting… the Magic somehow called out everything non-human in them, no matter how far back it was buried in their families. Nobody knew what was happening or why… they just knew there was something wrong.”

The man swallowed hard, still staring at the insides of his eyelids.

“I’m not gonna go into too much detail. If you want to know about those times, you can check it out online. The magetrix at your place is cleared for Top Secret access, so you’ll be able to read things most of the world can’t.

“It took… close to three years to calm things down enough to get some order going, and honestly, that was largely because of Angel. He… had the ability, somehow, to organize. I guess all those long-ass hunt-and-kill plots of his finally came in handy, right?”

He heard the blond take a swift, hissing breath and chuckled. “We’ll talk about him later, okay? You wanted to know about Lex.”

The vampire snorted. “Taking the scenic route there, aren’t you?”

Xander laughed and shook his head, letting it loll on the back of the couch. “The scenic route would involve you naked, Spike. But no. It’s just… you need to understand the why of it; not just the what.”

“So,” he continued after a slow sip of whiskey which seemed to be settling well and not making him want to heave again, “Basically, things were fucked and then I came along. Hooked up with Angel and his crew, took over… and Willow and the others did the same where they were.

“The Slayers—remember how they were made by combining demonic traits with human? Well, the demonic came out in every single one of them. And some reacted better than others. Mostly, they helped to get things under control, and then…”

He sighed and shook his head.

“The Magic had a sense of humour, Spike. Hell, it probably still does.

“Of everyone in the world—every Slayer and witch, every Watcher and human and demon… it chose me. It chose me to funnel a good quarter of its power into, Gods know why.

“Maybe because… oh, hey! Funny thing. Remember how Wills called me a demon magnet that time? And how every single girl I ever dated turned out to be either evil or a demon herself?”

Xander thought for a moment. “Except Cordy, but Gods know what she really was, right? I mean, so many so-called humans turned out to be anything but, so…”

Spike snarled and got up, grabbing the decanter from the desk before flinging himself almost violently back onto the couch. “Doesn’t much matter now, yeah? Chit’s been dead for a long while. Get on with it, pet.”

“Right,” Xander said softly, finishing the liquor in his glass and smiling slightly when he felt it being refilled, “Demon magnet.”

“Turns out,” he went on, “the Harris family tree? Not so human after all. Looks like I was a big turn-on for demons because I’m at least part… just about every variety there is. And maybe that’s why the magic wanted me.”

“And Lex?” Spike demanded impatiently, “How does your bloody ‘son’ figure in, here? Because I’m for bloody sure not seeing it.”

Xander cracked one eye and chuckled at the annoyed look on Spike’s face.

“Okaaaaaaaaaay… skipping ahead.

“Order from Chaos, blah-blah-blah.

“I didn’t want to spend all my time dealing with little shit, got the demon Clans to elect representatives. Formed the Assembly. Formed the Magi Council.

“I only deal with the truly huge issues, and Gods know why they even trusted me in the beginning but I had good help.

“And then…” Xander smiled slightly, looking a little uncomfortable.

“A little over fifteen years ago, the Arch Magus came to me, Spike.

“Things had finally settled down enough that the Darksiders were losing support from the Clans and the Magi Council decided it was because of me.

“But what would happen to everything we’d worked so hard for if I died?”

He chuckled humourlessly. “We didn’t know yet that I couldn’t be killed, y’know? We didn’t find that out until a year or so later.”

And Spike found himself growling at the thought of how Xander might have discovered that… and wondering if he’d be allowed to kill whatever wanker it was that had made the effort. Then again, with Angelus around, there wasn’t much chance of the pissant still being alive, and much as it irritated him, it was still good.

“Right,” he rumbled, low and deep, “Council of bloody Mages. Got it. And get to the point before I shag you unconscious just to shut your gob, pet.”

Well, that had him sitting up straight and opening his eyes to look at the vampire with surprise and desire. “Okay… I’ll hurry. Unless the offer’s off the table if I do, because… so wouldn’t mind that, Spike.”

He smirked at the look on the blond’s face and shifted closer on the couch.

“Right. Magi. Council. ‘What if you died’. Blah-blah-blah.”

Xander grinned.

“Turns out, some of the Magi could see into other dimensions. Ones where time ran differently. They figured it couldn’t hurt any to have a back-up Magus Prime… or a back-up Red Witch and a number of others.

“So they deliberately searched for dimensions where Xander Harris, Willow Rosenberg, and so on, died; finally, as babies or small children. And when they found them, they…”

“Stole the wee doomed ones? Bloody fucking hell!” Spike blinked, then blinked again. “And you’ve been raising… yourself.” His brow furrowed for a moment and he shook his head. “But, Xan… that Lex. He’s you, but not. I mean… hate to think of what would happen if he was left in charge of the world, yeah? Or as much of it as you are, anyway…”

The brunette sighed, nodding slowly. “I know. Like I said, it’s my fault. I…” He sighed again, looking disgusted with himself. “I hated my father, Spike.”

The vampire snorted and pulled the bloke closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Can’t blame you for that, mate. Your bloody Dad was a right tosser. Never should have been allowed to have a kid, much less raise one.”

“But see, that’s just it,” Xander frowned, biting his lip slightly. “Dad was a fucktard. He had no idea of how to treat any kid; not just his own. Hell, he used to look at Wills in ways that made me nauseous even before I knew what the looks meant. And his ideas of what it meant to be a ‘man’ were… Hell, they’re still scary.”

Spike nodded slowly, shifting enough to pull the brunette’s back against his chest, arms moving to encircle the solid, toned waist. “Imagine they would be, luv… caught him eyeing you in a wrong way a good few times, too. Managed to put him off, of course. Amazing what a flash of vamp-face can do to a human’s… interest,” he admitted, “Especially when said human realizes it’s his son who has the monster tied up… and then wonders as to the purpose of the restraints.” He smirked.

Xander blinked and considered struggling out of the strong, comfortable hold for a moment, but… if he looked at Spike’s face and saw that the vampire was serious, he figured that would squick him for the rest of his life.

“So my Dad was a shit,” he said softly, leaning back into the cool form behind him. “He was a worthless, useless, incredibly perverted—in the bad way—bastard of a man.”

“That he was, pet… He still around, by the way? Might want to pay him a visit, now that I think about it.”

A laugh emerged from Xander’s lips as he shook his head.

“Nope,” he admitted, “Died in Sunnyhole. But here’s the thing. Dad was a fucking useless waste of oxygen, right?” Xander swallowed hard when he felt the vampire nod against his shoulder. “But somehow… I ended up better than Lex. So what does that say about me, Spike? How did I manage to raise… me… to be so…” he sighed. “How did I not know myself better? How could I let him get so… fuck. Bratty?”

Spike held the bloke, hands rubbing soothingly up and down the warm, hard chest as he considered the question, because ultimately, it was all one question; not however many his bloke had split it into.

He considered the human he remembered Xander’s father being… considered how he would have treated a Childe, had he ever felt the urge to make one—the minions he’d created under the First’s control not counting, of course.

He thought about his own experiences when first turned—Drusilla being by turns indifferent and demanding while Angelus and Darla did their best to break him and remake him in whatever image they’d chosen for that day.

And he thought again, remembering his early life, about Mother and how he—William—would have treated any human children he might have had… assuming he’d ever had the nerve to marry a woman and actually have sex with her.

“Overcompensated, pet,” he finally answered after a good five minutes. “Didn’t want to see yourself growing up treated like scum, yeah? Figured it couldn’t hurt to give the new you all the freedoms and privileges you never had. Backfired a good bit, granted, but it was a good thought, Xander. And… Lex is what? Eighteen? Thereabouts?”

Xander nodded, enjoying the cool fingers sliding over his chest under his shirt. “Mmmm… almost. A few more weeks and he will be…”

“Right, then,” Spike purred, one hand sliding lower to dance fingertips teasingly over the front of his bloke’s pants, “Leave him to me, pet. Might be able to cure him of some of that ‘I deserve whatever I want’ thing he’s got going.”

The brunette took a hitched breath, hips rising just a bit into the soft touches. “Unnnngh… fuck, Spike. Are you trying to drive me crazy?”

“Maybe… just a little, Xan. Because I deserve whatever I want, too… and right now, what I want is you, a bed, and about a gallon of lube. Got a problem with that, luv?”

And Spike supposed that being dragged up from the couch and through the hotel until they reached one set of double doors on the floor third from the top, then pulled inside and pressed hard against the wall while heated red lips met his own and devoured them was answer enough to that question.

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tbc...