Family of Eternity

Chapter 10

Spike banged the back of his head against his wall for the millionth time. If he wanted to remember one of the happiest moments in his life, all he had to do was pull up a memory of that first kiss. And for the worst he just had to look directly after when she bolted up the stairs so fast he nearly got whiplash. Then she started avoiding again, doing everything in her power to keep distance between them.

On the one hand he could understand. Angelus had hurt her terribly, broken her heart and left her to pick up the pieces again. But he wasn’t Angel, and never would be. But it looked like he was going to pay for all of the brunette’s sins to these people. Giles didn’t trust him because they were both vampires, the same was pretty much the truth for Xander. The girls were still leery because of the ‘what if he goes psycho on us’ possibility. About the only one who didn’t treat him like an alien was Joyce.

He was tempted to move back into his own home. He was certainly feeling better, not yet confident on his own but no longer scared of his own shadow. But he was worried about Joyce, and a small, selfish part wanted a chance to woo Buffy.

Summer gave way to Autumn. Joyce’s condition showed remarkable improvement. Dawn started school and did well as always. Buffy started her sophomore year of college, electing not to move back into the dorms. But the head ducking thing that Spike was doing stayed. And it only seemed to increase the foulness of his moods the more he did it. She could tell he was incredibly frustrated and angry. Still angry.

Although she knew some of that anger came from her running away from him. She managed this long in dodging him but by the looks she was getting, she knew she’d have to do something or she just might drive him away. Buffy sighed to herself, leaning against a dark spot of the basement and watching Spike pummel the punching bag. The way he was going it would be ripped soon and yet another thing that would have to be replaced because of the hot tempered blond. It would go along with the two dining chairs with blood stains (mom was un-thrilled), a tv remote thumbed to death, and the lock to the bathroom, as he had threatened. Sighing and stepping towards him, “Spike?”

He whipped around, eyes huge for half a second before lowering them to the ground. This was promptly followed by growls as he swore and grabbed a beer. Sighing and marching over, taking it from him and chucking it in the garbage, “Hey!”

Rolling her eyes, “You don’t need it.” She could tell by the strain of his neck that he was fighting desperately to keep from dropping it. She knew it was the real reason he was so pissy lately. Reaching over and gently massaging the back of his neck, “Hey Big bad, talk to me.” He fidgeted and tried to move away but she caught his arm to keep him still, “Not this time. Talk. To. Me.”

He glared at her, “You can avoid then so can I.”

She nibbled on the inside of her lip, “Okay, truth is I was scared of what I was feeling and I ran like a little girl. That’s not what’s going to happen this time. Your turn.”

He glanced over at her and blinked before sighing, “What?”

“Why do you keep ducking your head like you’re shy? You’re not. And then you start with the growling and get even more snarky than normal. I mean, I know I pissed you off with the duck and cover routine...”

He glanced at the far wall, as if it might give him the answers before looking down, mumbling something she couldn’t hear. She tilted her head and cleared her throat, catching his eyes and silently asking that he repeat that. That he trust her. He did the glancing down thing again before forcing himself to speak louder, “I don’t know...” He hesitated for a moment but when he wasn’t interrupted he started again, “‘Cause of power, I guess. I was the bloody big bad and now I’m a helpless git. Practically a Nancy the way I come crying to you for help.”

Catching something beneath the words, “What does the ducking mean?”

Staring down at his shoes, anger and hurt this time, “Means I’m subordinate to you.”

Buffy blinked in surprise, “No you’re not.”

Spike grinned self-depreciatingly, “Demon thinks so. You saved him so you’re a sire of sorts.”

Frowning, “But you do it to Willow...and mom...”

Practically whispering, a light pink coloring his cheeks and she blinked. He blushed? She didn’t know vampires did that, “Cause they’re more important to you...so they’re in better positions in this hierarchy than me.”

Lifting his head with a finger under his chin and staring into his eyes, “I’m only going to explain this to you once so I hope you’re both paying attention...” She made sure he nodded before continuing, “I am not now nor have I ever been better than you and don’t even think to quote me when we’re fighting, ‘kay? It doesn’t count. Now, I love Tara and Wills...hell I love Xander and Giles when they’re not being jerks but that’s not the point. I love them like friends but it will not break my heart into little pieces if I lose them.” Looking deeply into his eyes, “It will break my heart if I lose you.”

Spike took in a deep breath at the raw emotions in her eyes. She wasn’t kidding. She wasn’t completely ready to say it, just as he wasn’t completely ready to hear it but it was already there and there was no going back. And both sides of him would do anything in the world to keep her safe. He felt his chin lift just a little as the demon fought down it’s submissive instincts. It understood she didn’t want a lackey or a weak follower. In time, when he was ready, when she was ready, she wanted a mate. She smiled and kissed his lips lightly, “Good boy.”

***

He and Buffy started to train together, learning each other’s moves before improving on their flaws. They learned a lot from each other and even Giles was impressed at her new skills. They’d tentatively started to patrol together. If it was one on one, he was by her side. If the numbers were larger than that, she insisted he stay out of it. He tried to tell her it was okay but she wouldn’t listen to him. Not because she didn’t trust him to watch her back but because she didn’t want to push him too quickly.

It was during one of those patrols that she found herself hopelessly outnumbered. Then a war cry pierced the air and three of the vamps disappeared from her in a burst of dust. She grinned and started hacking through her opponents while Spike guarded her back, quickly destroying all of them. When the fight was over they both looked to each other, the bleach blond with a raised eyebrow. Pulling him closer and giving him a hard kiss on the lips, “Okay. You’re better. Shut up.”

She worked very hard to gain his trust, giving anything he wanted to know of herself. She promised herself to never hold back from him. Under her attention and honesty he seemed to bloom as a person. His confidence grew as time passed and his disposition towards others was also effected. But it was more than that. If she had a bad day she came to him and told him all about it. She actively sought out his advice while at the same time ready to listen to anything he wanted to talk about. Before she knew it, they’d become like best friends, but with a healthy dose of sexual want. But she’d neglected her own friends and watcher a bit in the process.

***

Buffy glanced first left and then right, Giles at her side and his face not nearly surprised enough for her tastes. From what she could see, they’d been shifted from the cemetery where she’d been training, to some strange void of space. Sighing and shaking her head, giving her watcher a pointed look, “Giles, what the hell is going on?”

He opened his mouth but another voice responded, “It’s time, kid.”

Groaning as a very familiar little man in an incredibly loud suit materialized in front of them, “Not you again!”

Whistler, the little demon-whatever helper for the powers that be. The one who’d showed up and told her she’d have to send Angel to hell to save the world. He took off his hat and shrugged, “Sorry, little lady, I’m here when everybody starts ignoring the signs.”

Narrowing her eyes just a bit, arms crossing, “Signs?”

“Sure. He was meant to die with the sunlight, not get rescued. Not get sanctuary and protection by you.”

Jaw tightening, “You’re talking about Spike?”

“Of course I am. The powers aren’t pleased and change is coming. And it doesn’t look good. You have to make the tough choice, kid. He has to go and it has to be now.”

Smiling brightly and clasping her hands, “Well of course I’ll get right on that...NOT!”

Whistler sighed and gave Giles a look, which the watcher took over, “Buffy...when a representative for the powers that be gives you a message it shouldn’t be-...”

“Stuff it, Giles.”

Blinking in surprise at her, “I beg your-...”

“I. Said. To. Stuff. It. It’s a really simple concept, after you remove the stick hindering your way.” The watcher blinked owlishly at her. He’d never, ever heard anything even close come out of her mouth. Nor had he ever seen her so angry. Pointing an angry finger, “You I will speak with later.” Turning her attention to the informant who was looking more than a little surprised, “And as for you...if you’d been keeping tabs on me then you would know that I’m in deep with this vampire. So, essentially you’re telling me to once again sacrifice the more than possible love of my life for you cause. Again. Well bugger that. I’m tired of giving up everything on a whim. Of never having something of my own. Well, he’s mine and I’m not giving him up. Now, if you tell me he’ll end the world then you’d better tell me how to get around that because killing him isn’t even an option.” Face darkening with possessive anger, “And make no mistake, I will kill to protect him.”

“Enough.”

Chin thrusting out to the disembodied voice, “No, it’s not enough. I’m a damn slayer, chosen and all that. I gave up my fucking childhood to fight your wars and die for your causes. Well I’m sick and tired of doing it alone. You say don’t have friends and look at how much I accomplish with them. You say listen to my watcher and look how far I’ve gone without listening half the time. The slayer is alone, just the kill? Screw that and screw you. I already died once thank you very much. You don’t like the way I’m doing something? Nobody sees me coming? Fine. Free Faith and replace me. Or get the hell out of my way.”

There was a sigh but no reply this time. No voice and no body presenting itself even though she looked around just to be sure, silently daring a challenge. Whistler scratched his head, “You’ve got me, boss.”
“Slayer, is this to be your mate, your eternal partner for your inner champion?”

Giles’ eyes shot to her, a warning on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t have enough time before she replied. She didn’t know half of what that meant but followed her instincts, “Yes.”

There was a pause, “Very well.” And suddenly they were back in the cemetery like nothing had happened. Except it had and Buffy slowly turned to regard her watcher who looked more than timid.

Pointing a finger and slowly advancing on him even as he carefully retreated, “Item one...I don’t even know where to begin on how pissed off I am with you right now, and trust me, even Spike hasn’t made me this mad before and that includes the Adam shit he pulled.” Giles’ eyes widened since it was a rare thing for her to use vulgar swear words. She was clearly in a deeper temper than he had counted on, “Item two, you betrayed me...again...and don’t you shake your head no because you know god damn well how I feel about Spike and no I don’t give a damn what your opinion is on the subject.” At this point Giles had his back to a tombstone and was cornered, staring at her flashing eyes and truly frightened of her, “And item three...if you dare to try to dictate or manipulate my life again or your attempts hurt him in any way I will never forgive you. I may even hurt you severely but I will definitely punch you.” She used her strength to punch a hole into the concrete next to his head, illustrating her point before turning to storm off, calling over her shoulder, “We won’t be patrolling together again, watcher.”

He flinched from that more than anything else. Because she’d made plain her opinion of watchers and the Council a long time ago and that right there spoke volumes of her feelings right now. She was angry, hurt, and betrayed. And for the first time Giles worried of never gaining that trust back.