All I Need...
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-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
40
Views:
14,226
Reviews:
137
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Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
40
Views:
14,226
Reviews:
137
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part 11
* * * * * * * * *
Part 11
“No, Angel,” Giles said yet again, “I’m afraid I don’t know where Xander is, and quite frankly, if he were interested in contacting you, I’m reasonably certain he would have done so by now.”
He sighed softly, taking off his glasses and setting them on the desk. “Yes, I understand that you’re concerned. We all are. However, that said… he’s a grown man, and considering the life he’s led I believe him to be more than capable of taking care of himself. If I should hear from him, I’ll be certain to inform him of your inquiries.”
Another sigh. “Yes. Yes, alright, Angel. Oh, Dawn wanted me to inform Spike that she’s been forced to change her flight. She won’t be arriving in Los Angeles until eleven PM rather than seven on the thirteenth. Her final exams have been shifted a bit. I trust you’ll pass that along?”
A relieved smile that the subject of the missing Scooby had been successfully changed and Giles proceeded with the careful polishing of his eyewear. “Right, then. I’ll expect yet another prying phone call in a week, shall I? Good night, Angel.”
He honestly had no idea of why the vampire was so desperate to locate Xander Harris. The two of them had never gotten along to begin with and that state had only gotten worse after the bout of what the boy had referred to as ‘Angelus-itis’. Still, that didn’t change the fact that Angel called on a near-weekly basis in an attempt to find him.
“You’d think after nearly six months he’d give up,” the Watcher grumbled, putting his glasses back on and rising to procure a fresh cuppa. “Of course, if he did he’d hardly be the Angel we all know and loathe…”
And maybe Xander wasn’t the only one who hadn’t forgiven Angel’s demon for the things he’d done. Maybe.
* * * * *
Angel heaved a huge sigh as he hung up the phone and forced himself to meet the still-hopeful eyes of his GrandChilde. “Uh, Dawn’s going to be a few hours late when she comes to visit,” he said simply, giving the boy a sympathetic gaze. “She wanted you to know.”
Spike smiled just a little at the mention of the girl then frowned again, refocusing on the matter at hand.
“Fuck,” the blond growled, wanting nothing more than to put his fist through… something. Anything. “How is that bloody possible, Angel? How could he just… drop off th’ face of th’ soddin’ Earth? Did ya ask your bleedin’ psychics again?”
It was the edge of building desperation in the other vampire’s voice that had Angel wondering yet again about what exactly had happened in Africa between his boy and Harris. Not that he actually expected to get an answer, which was why he wasn’t asking. The first five or six hundred ‘fuck off’-s he’d gotten had made it clear that Spike didn’t want to share that story.
“Look, Spike, you’d be amazed at how many one eyed humans there are in the world. Yes, the psychics are… well, psychic… but I can’t afford to pull them from paying jobs to look for one specific one eyed guy, twenty-four/seven. I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
Angel sighed again, hating the fact that he was getting used to feeling like he was letting the boy down. “It’s… they describe it as looking for a needle in a pile of needles, okay? They’re still trying but unless one of them gets extremely lucky, I… well, I wouldn’t count on them pulling it off. I… I’m sorry.”
And that was the first time Angel had admitted what Spike had suspected all along. The bloody psychics were useless. It didn’t make him feel any better to be right, of course, but…
Oh, hell, who was he kidding? It made him feel worse. The way things were going, he’d never find the bloke again and while he wasn’t quite clear on why it mattered so much to him, it did.
And it also didn’t help that he’d obviously been stupid enough to think that Angel had actually listened to him when he’d come back to LA three weeks earlier, tail between his legs after searching every bloody inch of Africa, it felt like. He hadn’t, though. No, the bloody gel-abusing shit hadn’t listened then or during any of the many phone calls, apparently.
It was kind of worrisome, actually, that he was so obsessed with the boy. So he and Xander had shared a moment out there in the trees. A hot moment that still had him waking with pleasurable full body shivers. He should have been able to move on, though. Should have just… chalked it up to experience and forgotten.
Unfortunately, neither soul nor demon was willing to let that happen and didn’t it figure that the one time his two halves were in agreement it was over a no longer human bloke who thought he was some sort of a fake?
And make that a formerly human bloke whom Wolfram and Hart hadn’t even been looking for, considering Angel was a huge prat.
Angel watched the emotions chasing across Spike’s face, bracing for the usual explosion he got when the boy didn’t get what he wanted. That was why it was all the more surprising when the blond growled softly and slumped down into a chair, head in his hands.
“You… enormous… git,” the blond said slowly and clearly, trying to control his fury, “I told ya… an’ told ya. Xander isn’t human anymore! An’ he’s got two bloody eyes now, doesn’t he? You’ve wasted six bloody months of my soddin’ existence while your fuckin’ shit-for-brains psychics have been lookin’ for a one eyed human!”
He growled again, louder this time as he stood and leaned over Angel’s desk, his fingers flexing hard enough against the surface to press small indentations into it. “Forget about helpin’ me, Sire,” he sneered, blue eyes flashing hot gold at the older vampire. “I see how much ya bloody fuckin’ care!”
Okay… and that was an entirely different explosion than the one he’d been expecting. “Childe!” he snapped out, his tone stopping the blond at the door, “Get back here!”
“Why should I?” still snarling, glaring venomous disgust as he turned. “Ya didn’t listen, Angel! All this time an’ you’ve been lookin’ for th’ wrong bloke! Bloody hell, he could be dead by now an’ I wouldn’t have a soddin’ clue!”
“Spike!” Angel roared, standing suddenly behind his desk, “Get your ass back in that chair and tell me what the fuck you’re talking about! Because I promise you, you never said anything about Harris not being human!”
“Did so, ya great prat! Ya were just too busy suckin’ up ta your wolf-bint ta pay attention!”
And shit. Maybe he had been. The only thing the older vampire was entirely sure of was that… when Spike had first started calling from Africa, he’d gone on and on about Xander Harris and after a while the constant repetition had gotten boring, so… maybe he’d tuned it out. Great. Another load of guilt. Just what he needed.
“Okay,” he forced out through gritted teeth, “If I missed it, I’m sorry. But if Harris managed to survive for two years after the Hellmouth and he’s got a demon now, then I’m pretty sure Giles is right and he can take care of himself.” He nodded sharply. “Meaning… he’s probably not dead.”
He watched as those few words seemed to calm the boy slightly then he nodded again. “Okay. So sit down and tell me exactly what happened… and what kind of demon Xander is because I would have noticed if you’d said he was a vampire, no matter what else I might have missed.”
Spike frowned. Much as he needed his Sire’s help, he didn’t want to tell him everything. Unfortunately, now that Angel was actually paying attention, he had a feeling it was going to have to be the whole story or nothing at all. “Bloody fuckin’ hell,” he sighed before telling the brooding wonder what little he knew about the Xander of six months ago.
* * * * *
He’d left Africa far behind. Farther behind than six months could account for, even. In fact, he almost never even thought about it. Any of it.
Not the two years he’d spent there to begin with, not his time in the trials, and definitely not less than a week spent at a certain Lodge in Uganda.
And he never ever thought about a particular shape-shifting creature whose scent still haunted him.
Or so he told himself, in any case.
And so what if his heart leaped whenever he heard a low growl, only to plummet again when it turned out to be a dog… which happened with surprising regularity these days. Apparently other animals could smell him, scent out that he was a predator in his own right. Some of them panicked. Others tried to escape, although he wasn’t hunting them. Still others tried to show that they were just as big and bad. It was almost funny, most of the time.
A small part of him wished he’d stayed at the lodge, spoken to Will in person. Okay, make that a large part of him—meaning his beast and about half of his conscious mind. He just hadn’t been able to do it. Hadn’t been able to look into those eyes, that face and not…
Xander shook his head, his nightly stroll along the Seine providing less amusement than usual.
Damn it, he’d been doing so well with the avoidance. He’d managed to go nearly two weeks without thinking about Will or Spike more than a few times an hour, and now…
It was all that Slayer’s fault.
He’d been minding his own business, just wandering along through garret-lined cobblestone streets, leading a few obviously young fledges away from the more populated areas when she’d shown up all bluster and slay-now-ask-no-questions-later, and sure he wasn’t with the Council anymore but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still willing to use his new strength and stamina to take out a few vamps, right?
Besides… it made the hyena happy. Nothing quite like hunting another predator, even if the vampiric ones turned to dust before it could feed.
In this case, though, that damned Slayer had shown up and ruined all his fun, dusting his playmates before the game was more than started. Of course, then the bitch had turned on him Apparently being less than fully human was a good enough reason to slay.
He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised, although Giles had been running the Council more gently than that Travers bastard ever had. Still, Giles couldn’t be everywhere at once and maybe he didn’t know what some of his Watchers were teaching their charges. He’d have to drop the man an e-mail, just to give him a heads up.
So there he’d been, robbed of his prey and faced with a very stuck up and annoying teenaged girl who was brandishing a stake at him with one hand and an axe with the other.
Buffy could have taught the bitch a few things about witty banter, he’d acknowledged at the time since her repartee had consisted entirely of an incredibly stupid comment about most other demons having better taste than to hang around with vampires.
Of course, then she’d attacked and although his beast had initially wanted to accept the dominance of the strong female, he’d made it understand that she was trying to kill them, and…
Xander was pretty sure he hadn’t hurt her too badly. Nothing a few weeks in hospital wouldn’t fix, anyway. But ever since, he’d found most of his waking moments and all of his sleeping ones focused on the ‘hanging around’ he’d done with a certain demon who’d reminded him so much of a particular vampire, and…
“Shit. I am so screwed up,” he sighed, finally turning around and starting back to the small hotel where he was currently residing. Not that he’d be staying there much longer. His savings were almost gone, after all, and… maybe it was time to get a job or something.
He wondered for a moment whether the identity he’d assumed to stay off the Council’s radar would hold up to that sort of scrutiny, but… he’d cross that bridge when he came to it. And he’d burn it behind him if necessary.
He wasn’t ready to go back. Not yet. Not until he’d managed to somehow get the memory of that scent, those eyes, that face… and their original owner… out of his mind.
* * * * *
(A/N: As always, many thanks to those who took the time to comment on the last part. In this case, they would be TheShadowCat, Lady Gray, nulinka & Christine! LOVE that you guys are liking this enouh tp take the time to review! Thanks so, SO much! *hugs for all* More soon, I think...)
Part 11
“No, Angel,” Giles said yet again, “I’m afraid I don’t know where Xander is, and quite frankly, if he were interested in contacting you, I’m reasonably certain he would have done so by now.”
He sighed softly, taking off his glasses and setting them on the desk. “Yes, I understand that you’re concerned. We all are. However, that said… he’s a grown man, and considering the life he’s led I believe him to be more than capable of taking care of himself. If I should hear from him, I’ll be certain to inform him of your inquiries.”
Another sigh. “Yes. Yes, alright, Angel. Oh, Dawn wanted me to inform Spike that she’s been forced to change her flight. She won’t be arriving in Los Angeles until eleven PM rather than seven on the thirteenth. Her final exams have been shifted a bit. I trust you’ll pass that along?”
A relieved smile that the subject of the missing Scooby had been successfully changed and Giles proceeded with the careful polishing of his eyewear. “Right, then. I’ll expect yet another prying phone call in a week, shall I? Good night, Angel.”
He honestly had no idea of why the vampire was so desperate to locate Xander Harris. The two of them had never gotten along to begin with and that state had only gotten worse after the bout of what the boy had referred to as ‘Angelus-itis’. Still, that didn’t change the fact that Angel called on a near-weekly basis in an attempt to find him.
“You’d think after nearly six months he’d give up,” the Watcher grumbled, putting his glasses back on and rising to procure a fresh cuppa. “Of course, if he did he’d hardly be the Angel we all know and loathe…”
And maybe Xander wasn’t the only one who hadn’t forgiven Angel’s demon for the things he’d done. Maybe.
* * * * *
Angel heaved a huge sigh as he hung up the phone and forced himself to meet the still-hopeful eyes of his GrandChilde. “Uh, Dawn’s going to be a few hours late when she comes to visit,” he said simply, giving the boy a sympathetic gaze. “She wanted you to know.”
Spike smiled just a little at the mention of the girl then frowned again, refocusing on the matter at hand.
“Fuck,” the blond growled, wanting nothing more than to put his fist through… something. Anything. “How is that bloody possible, Angel? How could he just… drop off th’ face of th’ soddin’ Earth? Did ya ask your bleedin’ psychics again?”
It was the edge of building desperation in the other vampire’s voice that had Angel wondering yet again about what exactly had happened in Africa between his boy and Harris. Not that he actually expected to get an answer, which was why he wasn’t asking. The first five or six hundred ‘fuck off’-s he’d gotten had made it clear that Spike didn’t want to share that story.
“Look, Spike, you’d be amazed at how many one eyed humans there are in the world. Yes, the psychics are… well, psychic… but I can’t afford to pull them from paying jobs to look for one specific one eyed guy, twenty-four/seven. I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
Angel sighed again, hating the fact that he was getting used to feeling like he was letting the boy down. “It’s… they describe it as looking for a needle in a pile of needles, okay? They’re still trying but unless one of them gets extremely lucky, I… well, I wouldn’t count on them pulling it off. I… I’m sorry.”
And that was the first time Angel had admitted what Spike had suspected all along. The bloody psychics were useless. It didn’t make him feel any better to be right, of course, but…
Oh, hell, who was he kidding? It made him feel worse. The way things were going, he’d never find the bloke again and while he wasn’t quite clear on why it mattered so much to him, it did.
And it also didn’t help that he’d obviously been stupid enough to think that Angel had actually listened to him when he’d come back to LA three weeks earlier, tail between his legs after searching every bloody inch of Africa, it felt like. He hadn’t, though. No, the bloody gel-abusing shit hadn’t listened then or during any of the many phone calls, apparently.
It was kind of worrisome, actually, that he was so obsessed with the boy. So he and Xander had shared a moment out there in the trees. A hot moment that still had him waking with pleasurable full body shivers. He should have been able to move on, though. Should have just… chalked it up to experience and forgotten.
Unfortunately, neither soul nor demon was willing to let that happen and didn’t it figure that the one time his two halves were in agreement it was over a no longer human bloke who thought he was some sort of a fake?
And make that a formerly human bloke whom Wolfram and Hart hadn’t even been looking for, considering Angel was a huge prat.
Angel watched the emotions chasing across Spike’s face, bracing for the usual explosion he got when the boy didn’t get what he wanted. That was why it was all the more surprising when the blond growled softly and slumped down into a chair, head in his hands.
“You… enormous… git,” the blond said slowly and clearly, trying to control his fury, “I told ya… an’ told ya. Xander isn’t human anymore! An’ he’s got two bloody eyes now, doesn’t he? You’ve wasted six bloody months of my soddin’ existence while your fuckin’ shit-for-brains psychics have been lookin’ for a one eyed human!”
He growled again, louder this time as he stood and leaned over Angel’s desk, his fingers flexing hard enough against the surface to press small indentations into it. “Forget about helpin’ me, Sire,” he sneered, blue eyes flashing hot gold at the older vampire. “I see how much ya bloody fuckin’ care!”
Okay… and that was an entirely different explosion than the one he’d been expecting. “Childe!” he snapped out, his tone stopping the blond at the door, “Get back here!”
“Why should I?” still snarling, glaring venomous disgust as he turned. “Ya didn’t listen, Angel! All this time an’ you’ve been lookin’ for th’ wrong bloke! Bloody hell, he could be dead by now an’ I wouldn’t have a soddin’ clue!”
“Spike!” Angel roared, standing suddenly behind his desk, “Get your ass back in that chair and tell me what the fuck you’re talking about! Because I promise you, you never said anything about Harris not being human!”
“Did so, ya great prat! Ya were just too busy suckin’ up ta your wolf-bint ta pay attention!”
And shit. Maybe he had been. The only thing the older vampire was entirely sure of was that… when Spike had first started calling from Africa, he’d gone on and on about Xander Harris and after a while the constant repetition had gotten boring, so… maybe he’d tuned it out. Great. Another load of guilt. Just what he needed.
“Okay,” he forced out through gritted teeth, “If I missed it, I’m sorry. But if Harris managed to survive for two years after the Hellmouth and he’s got a demon now, then I’m pretty sure Giles is right and he can take care of himself.” He nodded sharply. “Meaning… he’s probably not dead.”
He watched as those few words seemed to calm the boy slightly then he nodded again. “Okay. So sit down and tell me exactly what happened… and what kind of demon Xander is because I would have noticed if you’d said he was a vampire, no matter what else I might have missed.”
Spike frowned. Much as he needed his Sire’s help, he didn’t want to tell him everything. Unfortunately, now that Angel was actually paying attention, he had a feeling it was going to have to be the whole story or nothing at all. “Bloody fuckin’ hell,” he sighed before telling the brooding wonder what little he knew about the Xander of six months ago.
* * * * *
He’d left Africa far behind. Farther behind than six months could account for, even. In fact, he almost never even thought about it. Any of it.
Not the two years he’d spent there to begin with, not his time in the trials, and definitely not less than a week spent at a certain Lodge in Uganda.
And he never ever thought about a particular shape-shifting creature whose scent still haunted him.
Or so he told himself, in any case.
And so what if his heart leaped whenever he heard a low growl, only to plummet again when it turned out to be a dog… which happened with surprising regularity these days. Apparently other animals could smell him, scent out that he was a predator in his own right. Some of them panicked. Others tried to escape, although he wasn’t hunting them. Still others tried to show that they were just as big and bad. It was almost funny, most of the time.
A small part of him wished he’d stayed at the lodge, spoken to Will in person. Okay, make that a large part of him—meaning his beast and about half of his conscious mind. He just hadn’t been able to do it. Hadn’t been able to look into those eyes, that face and not…
Xander shook his head, his nightly stroll along the Seine providing less amusement than usual.
Damn it, he’d been doing so well with the avoidance. He’d managed to go nearly two weeks without thinking about Will or Spike more than a few times an hour, and now…
It was all that Slayer’s fault.
He’d been minding his own business, just wandering along through garret-lined cobblestone streets, leading a few obviously young fledges away from the more populated areas when she’d shown up all bluster and slay-now-ask-no-questions-later, and sure he wasn’t with the Council anymore but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still willing to use his new strength and stamina to take out a few vamps, right?
Besides… it made the hyena happy. Nothing quite like hunting another predator, even if the vampiric ones turned to dust before it could feed.
In this case, though, that damned Slayer had shown up and ruined all his fun, dusting his playmates before the game was more than started. Of course, then the bitch had turned on him Apparently being less than fully human was a good enough reason to slay.
He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised, although Giles had been running the Council more gently than that Travers bastard ever had. Still, Giles couldn’t be everywhere at once and maybe he didn’t know what some of his Watchers were teaching their charges. He’d have to drop the man an e-mail, just to give him a heads up.
So there he’d been, robbed of his prey and faced with a very stuck up and annoying teenaged girl who was brandishing a stake at him with one hand and an axe with the other.
Buffy could have taught the bitch a few things about witty banter, he’d acknowledged at the time since her repartee had consisted entirely of an incredibly stupid comment about most other demons having better taste than to hang around with vampires.
Of course, then she’d attacked and although his beast had initially wanted to accept the dominance of the strong female, he’d made it understand that she was trying to kill them, and…
Xander was pretty sure he hadn’t hurt her too badly. Nothing a few weeks in hospital wouldn’t fix, anyway. But ever since, he’d found most of his waking moments and all of his sleeping ones focused on the ‘hanging around’ he’d done with a certain demon who’d reminded him so much of a particular vampire, and…
“Shit. I am so screwed up,” he sighed, finally turning around and starting back to the small hotel where he was currently residing. Not that he’d be staying there much longer. His savings were almost gone, after all, and… maybe it was time to get a job or something.
He wondered for a moment whether the identity he’d assumed to stay off the Council’s radar would hold up to that sort of scrutiny, but… he’d cross that bridge when he came to it. And he’d burn it behind him if necessary.
He wasn’t ready to go back. Not yet. Not until he’d managed to somehow get the memory of that scent, those eyes, that face… and their original owner… out of his mind.
* * * * *
(A/N: As always, many thanks to those who took the time to comment on the last part. In this case, they would be TheShadowCat, Lady Gray, nulinka & Christine! LOVE that you guys are liking this enouh tp take the time to review! Thanks so, SO much! *hugs for all* More soon, I think...)