This little girl

Ok, this is the last chapter today. Think I may be going blind because of staring at this damn screen. But I can't deny you. Oh, I how I want to please others. Well, ok and stroke my own ego as well. - Which you guys are helping with wonderfully. Thanks. I'm so glad you like this story. I didn't know if I would stink at this or not. I think I'm doing ok.

Trish - Don't know how long it's going to be. How long do you think it should be? As for Monica, Annie won't get over her that easy.

I'm also glad you guys think it's funny. I hope the humor offsets the drama just a little. Otherwise it will get too melodramatic and I hate that. Still, lesbo drama is of the good here. I find myself wondering what they'll do next as well.

Sidenote - my email is screwed up. It's the wrong addy. If anyone wants to email me privately just tell me on the review and I'll email you. At least until I fix my problem.

As usual, I'm whoring for the reviews. I have like 90 right now. Which is amazing. Thanks again.

Ok, so back to the tequila for me. Hope you like the story.

Disclaimer - Yada Yada Yada

Chapter 11

Faith’s POV

You know when I was in prison, my life counselor (yeah, that was what he was called) said I had some very severe emotional scars. Well big fat fucking duh. I mean, that is not an actual newsflash, is it? I had a fucked up childhood. Granted, that’s not an excuse, and I’m not using it as one, ok? Still, It was not all cherries and sunshine. A drunk mom, and nonexistent dad, and the constant fear of not eating kinda gets to a kid.

But hey, I kicked that bad life to the curb. Promised myself at fifteen no more assholes. I was through with people who treated me like shit. In my book, I was gonna always be numero uno. Best of luck to the rest of you.

That lasted, well, until I met B; not even a year. I know, I’m a damn sucker, aren’t I? You have to understand though; I can’t even describe how she looked when she came out of the Bronze that night. All set on saving my sorry ass from that horrible reject from Saturday Night Fever. Scooby gang in tow, there to watch little miss tightly wound save the day, so that a skank like me could live to see how hot she was. I mean, damn did I look like I thought that fucking bloodsucker was cute? How could she not tell I was going to stake him? I hafta admit the look on her face when she came outside and found me fighting instead of him biting was priceless. Yep, that was my introduction to B. Since then the only thing I’ve indulged in is a few drinks. Nothing can get me high like she can.

Sad thing about all of that is that she knows it. Like tonight. I was all set on talking to her. We were going to get all of this shit out in the open. There was still the matter of Annie to discuss. I have to admit I was more than a little bit curious as to how she had been conceived.

But B has got to go and pull that shit. Why does she act like that? It’s not like I have any self-control around her. The bitch knows it too. Truth is, I forgot all about Sarah. Well that’s not completely true. I mean I remembered her when I went back to the hotel and wrote her that note.

Six bags. Those were the bags she bought me. I just brought the one bag I’d walked in to the relationship with. If B had have looked, she would have recognized it. It was the one I stole from Cordy. And hell it wasn’t like Sarah and I had been together that long. In fact, it had been two months today. A world record for me. Outside of B that is.

You can’t blame me for that. I can’t go that long without pussy. It’s nothing personal against anyone, but shit I’m only human. Didn’t mean I didn’t love B. She of all people should know that.

I had to compose myself before I went back to the hotel. We were going to wake everyone up. I couldn’t allow that to happen. Cordelia was pretty intent on kicking my ass. As was Willow. And we can’t forget about soul boy. He’d probably just as soon see me fuck up as anything in the world. Jackass.

Ok, so I’m a little hard on Angel. Granted. But I know he’s the only other person in that hotel that’s been where I’ve been. I mean, fuck, dude lost his soul for a little taste. Glad that was not a disclaimer for me, cause the world would just have to come to an end. No way I would have given that up. You gotta give him that. He’s got one hell of a constitution going.

I walked back into the hotel. I knew she was in here. I could feel her.

“Faith,” I heard a whisper. Not who I expected.

“Xand?”

He walked out of the shadows. He’s a sneaky bastard. I didn’t even know he was standing there.

“You and Buff get into another showdown?”

I nodded. He moved to sit on the couch and I followed him. “She here?”

“Came in about ten minutes ago. I asked her if she was ok. She said not to let you in unless you were on fire. Or something like that. I argued that it wouldn’t it be wise to make you stay outside if you were on fire. Not that smart letting someone on fire in the hotel. She just rolled her eyes and then she huffed her way up the stairs and slammed the door.” He sat back, “I was just getting some milk.”

I rolled my eyes as well, “Appreciate your concern.” I leaned back and put my fingers on my temples, “Do you think I should just leave?”

“God No!” He covered his mouth, “Sorry. But god no. Please don’t do that. After the first time you left.” He took a deep breath, “Jesus. I don’t want to go through that again.” I looked at him funny. “Hehe. Not that that was about me, but I mean. It was not fun times Faith. We thought she was going to…” He trailed off.

Kill herself, I thought. Surely not. “Surely not?”

“What do you think? Everything was sunshine and roses after you left?” Oh, so that is how the saying goes.

“I though it was cherries.” He looked at me funny. Focus Faith. “Never mind. Look Xander, I didn’t think… B’s strong. I mean…she did ok, didn’t she?”

“For several reasons, none of which were coming to terms with you leaving. There was Annie to think about. And she didn’t want to. Let me tell you…” He seemed to ponder this for a few moments, “Well, I’ll let her tell you. But it wasn’t very pretty. And then Monica came along. Thank god for her.”

I winced beside him, “I’m sorry Faith but it’s true. Everyone knows that she loved you. But fuck, what did you expect? She was dying inside. And it was killing us. She is,” he looked at me, “the center of the universe.”

I turned to look at him. What the fuck? He just shrugged. Leave it to Xander to be so matter of fact. “I think Cordy and Kennedy would disagree.”

Xander shook his head. “You have been gone a long time. I guess I was a little off. Buffy just created the center of the universe. Annie is the real center. But no Buffy, no Annie. We love Annie. And we put up with a lot of shit. Even Kennedy will humor Buff to keep the kid around. There is something special about her.”

I nodded. “I can feel it.”

“Well you should be able to. She’s part of you.”

I nodded again, “I know. It’s just so fucked up. We are just going to fuck her up, aren’t we?”

Then he did something surprising, he hugged me. “Nah, Faith. I think you’ll be a good mom. A great mom. You just need to have…a little faith.” He chuckled at himself.

He’s thinks he’s funny. If only he knew how many times I’d heard that. I decided not to tell him, and instead I hugged him back. “Thanks.”

He stood up, “Come on. I’ll get you settled in another room. You can talk to Buff tomorrow. I think today has been too big for everyone.”

I let him lead me to the stairs. He opened one of the empty rooms and turned to leave. “Good night Faith. Things’ll get better.”

I touched his arm before he could leave. He turned to look at me. “Thank you.” I told him.

He smiled and closed the door. I was tired. He was right. Things would be better tomorrow. They couldn’t get any worse. Right?

Buffy’s POV

I woke up from a fitful sleep. Turning over I went to put my head on Monica’s shoulder. I came, instead, in contact with a pillow. Fuck. I sat up suddenly. Faith. The entire day and night played through my head.

Jesus. I laid back and put my hand on my forehead. Goddamn I had a headache. I felt like I had been drinking. I groaned. No such luck. There was one dark-haired slayer that could do this to me, and by the feelings I was getting she was pretty damn close by.

“Mommy,” I heard and looked to see Annie barreling in the room. “You’re up. I didn’t think you were ever getting up.”

I turned to look over at the clock. Stretching my arms out to catch her. “It’s only,” I squinted, “eight o’clock.” I groaned again. I snuggled into her neck. “Mommy’s head hurts.”

She ran her hand over my forehead. “I’m sorry I was so mean.” She smiled up at me.

“Oh, no baby. Mommy’s sorry. “ I leaned back, pulling her to me, “It’s just been really really weird.”

She spoke softly, “What do I call her?”

“Who?” Who was she calling at this time of the morning?

She made a face at me. “Faith?”

I was perplexed. “What do you mean? Why are you calling Faith? Did she leave?”

She made a face. “No silly. Not call her on the phone. What do I call her?” She stressed the importance of each word. “You know. I know she’s my other mommy.” I nodded at her. She looked down. Refusing to meet my eyes. “But what do I call her? I don’t wanna call her Mommy.”

“You don’t have to call her Mommy.”

“Good, cause I don’t want to.” She looked at me and frowned. “She left you. I heard Aunt Cordy say it. When you were really sad. She said you wouldn’t even look at me when I was borned.”

I hugged her again, “Oh, that’s not true. I was just sad. It wasn’t your fault.”

Note to self – kick Cordelia’s ass.

She looked as if she could read my mind. “Oh, no Mommy. She didn’t tell me that. I heard her talking to Angel one day. It was really long ago. She didn’t know I was there. When I was like three or something. She looked like she was going to throw up when she saw me. Then she got on to me for listening in on growned up conversations.” She was still frowning. “Anyways. I know, it was her fault.” I started to protest. “No. It was. She left me and you.”

“She didn’t know about you.”

She looked a little surprised. “So. She still left you. I thought she was gonna be cool. Everybody said she was cool. Even Wills said that and I know that she doesn’t really like her.”

I shook my head, “That’s not true.”

“No it is. I can feel it.” She nodded at me. “It doesn’t matter. She made Monnie leave. What if I don’t see her again?”

I hadn’t really thought about that. What if she didn’t see her again? How do I explain all of this? “Monnie wasn’t your mommy.”

“So, neither is Faith.”

I shook my head. “Yes she is. You’re a part of her. You look just like her.” I touched her nose with mine. “You have the same hair. And the same smile. And the same attitude. And you’re smart like her.”

“Uh-uh. Nope, Mommy. Girls and girls can’t have babies. Only girls and boys.”

“But you’re special. You know that.”

Her face got red. “I don’t wanna be special. I wanna be normal. And I don’t want Faith to be my Mommy.” She screamed and jumped from the bed. “I’m gonna find Dawnie. She said she would take me for pancakes.”

I let her run away from me. I should have gotten on to her for yelling. But I could hardly think of what to say.

She threw open the door. “Move,” I heard her scream. I went to get up; to chastise her for yelling at someone else. Until I saw who that someone else was. Faith. She had tears in her eyes. Annie pushed her out of the way and ran down the hall. I could hear her sobbing. “Dawnieeeeeeeee.”

I looked to Faith. She just shook her head at me. Wiping at her eyes. God it killed me to see her cry. Move legs, damn it. Move. She turned to walk away.

“Faith, wait,” damn. Glad I still have a voice.

She stalled, and then turned to look at me. I could tell she was waiting for me to say something.

“Come here,” I said, patting the bed next to me.

She looked down the hall, after Annie. “Shouldn’t you…?”

“No,” I said, still patting the bed, “She’s not an easy kid to talk to.” I smiled at her, “She gets that from you.” She smiled back at me weakly. “Dawn will talk to her. She seems to listen to everyone better than me.” I looked down at the bed. “I am a fucked up mother.”

She crossed to me quickly. Sitting beside me, she picked up my hand. “I think you’re a great mom. She’s a great kid. Just confused. And with good reason. I can’t blame her for hating me.”

I shook my head. “No. She is not going to talk to people like that. I don’t care how special she is. She still has to be respectful.”

“See,” Faith smiled. “That’s good parenting. My mother didn’t give a shit how I talked, or who I talked to for that matter.”

I smoothed her hair. “Will you try to make it work?” I heard myself and rushed, “I mean not with me.” She looked crestfallen, “Not if you don’t want to, I mean. I just meant with Annie. She needs you. I think you would balance out my craziness a little.”

“You mean with my own craziness.”

I laughed, “Well, it couldn’t hurt, could it?”

She stopped smiling, “Yeah, B, it sounds like it could kinda hurt.”

“Faith she’s five. You don’t have to take everything she says to heart.” She wasn’t looking at me, “Hey, I hate to say it but little kids can be mean. For example,” I smiled at her again, turning her head to look at me, “Dawn was a little fuck. I’m not kidding,” I said when she smiled, “She was. The biggest brat on the planet. And look at her now…Ok well not the best example. But take this for example. I heard Cordy’s mom say she was the sweetest child on the planet.” Faith shot an eyebrow up, “I know…I know. I thought she was nuts. Apparently some things do change.”

She shook her head, and laughed slightly to herself. “What kinda crazy shit is it giving us a kid?”

I shook my head as well. “Who knows? I figure most parents are as big fuck ups as we are. I mean we can’t do any worse can we?’

She smiled, “Oh, we could do a hell of a lot worse. I’m thinking our drama probably doesn’t even register on the fucked up parent radar.”

“Except for the whole two girls thing…” I laughed.

She nodded, “Yeah…that is kinda fucked up.” She agreed.

TBC