Semper Fidelis
Chapter 11
Lyrics to “Mine Again” by Mariah Carey
11
I have no idea what’s wrong with me.
does. I ask her to mean it and she does
– well, at least she sounded like it. I
ask her to be nice to me and she is. So
why did it hurt more when I got what I wanted?
Why is it that the more she did what I asked, the more miserable I
became? Why can’t I let myself just be
happy?
I blame it on my mother.
But these last few years, I blame everything on my mother.
right. When Dawn was born I thought that
my mother would leave me alone, but no, Dawn could do no wrong and neither can
Faith. Faith…
I need more vodka.
…
Slowly, I walk out onto the balcony of the hotel.
skyline, a smile crosses my face as I feel a pair of strong arms slide around
my waist. Leaning back, I rest my head
against her shoulder. I turn my head to
look up at her and she smiles, a genuine smile; she leans forward planting a
soft, lingering kiss on my lips.
“Mmm…” I moan softly as she pulls
away.
“I love you Buffy.”
“I love you too, Faith.”
“Come home, baby,” she pleads gently.
“Only if that’s what you really want,” I turn around in her
arms and face her.
“It is…” she leans down to kiss me again, this time more
passionately.
*knock, knock*
What the?
*knock, knock*
“Wha, huh?”
The knocking on the hotel door rouses me from my
slumber. I look around the room, yep
still at the hotel – alone. Stupid sexy Faith has to invade my dreams too.
“Hold your horses, I’m coming,” I yell at the general
direction of the door. As I stumble towards
the door, I realize I don’t want to see anyone – more specifically, I don’t
want anyone to see me.
“Go away,” I shout, “I’m not accepting any visitors.”
“Buffy, darling, it’s your mother.
“Go away mother, I have nothing to say to you.”
“Well, dear, I have some things that I need to say to
you.” When I don’t open the door, she
continues, “And I don’t fancy yelling them through the door, I’m not leaving.”
“Well, that’s too bad mother, I’m not opening the door.”
“Buffy, why must you be so difficult?”
“Please, go away mother,” she is definitely one person I don’t want to talk to right now.
“Buffy Anne Summers, you open this door!”
“No!” I pout, I don’t care that she can’t see me,
“Fine we’ll do it your way then,” she surrenders.
you have a perfectly good luxury apartment?” my mother yells through the door.
“What?” I open the door.
“You can’t honestly tell me you don’t know why.”
She steps inside and surveys me carefully, “You look like
hell.”
“Thanks mom, nice of you to visit,” I hiss sarcastically.
“Well Buffy, I went to look for you at home and you weren’t
there. Faith told me you’d be here, but then,
the concierge said you’d been here for at least a week.
“Faith didn’t tell you?”
“Oh honey, are you two having problems again?
to try and work—”
“No mother, to have
problems, you have to first have a relationship,” I interrupt quickly.
“What?” I’ve never seen her look so confused.
“We broke up.”
“Oh,” she looks surprised.
I roll my eyes and walk away from her.
“Are you still coming up to the
this weekend for your father’s party?”
I just broke up with the love of my life and all you can ask
me is if I’m coming to your stupid party?
No ‘are okay dear?’ or ‘how are you doing?’
Heartless bitch.
“Yes mother, I will be at your party.
“Well, yes.”
“Great.” I shove her
out the door and lock it behind her. I’m
going pour myself another shot.
…
I’m more than a little surprised when I arrive at the party and
no one asks me about the break up. Not
one single person. I guess mom didn’t
tell anyone. Or else I’d at least be
stared at and whispered about, but I’m pretty relieved that didn’t happen.
polite chit chat, I find an empty bedroom to catch my breath.
miniature liquor cabinet.
I hear the door quietly open and close behind me.
is, I just continue to stare out the window.
Catching her reflection in the window, she walks over to dresser and
puts a CD in the stereo. A sweet, slow
tune begins to play.
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” I say casually.
“I was hoping I’d run into you,” is her reply.
in days.
[I remember when you
used to be mine
Way back when
I was too naïve to
love you right
But now if I only had another
opportunity
I would do anything
Because my heart still
believes]
She hands me a single long stem rose…
[Maybe you could be
mine again
Maybe we could make
that dream for real
Like way back then
When love was yours
and mine
Maybe we could bring it
back to life]
She pulls me into her arms and we begin to slow dance…
[It’s irrelevant to
dwell on the past
I’m accountable for
what went bad
And I mean that
But I keep on praying
for another chance
Just to have you back
Cause I’ve grown
And I know how to be
I drape my arms around her neck and look into her beautiful
brown eyes…
[Maybe you could be
mine again
Maybe we could make
that dream for real
Like way back then
When love was yours
and mine
Maybe we could bring
it back to life]
Placing feather-soft kisses on my neck, she whispers “I’m so
sorry”…
[No, no it
I just can’t accept
the possibility
We weren’t made for
each other’s arms
I know you’re my
destiny
We can’t erase what
was meant to be
Part of you and part
of me
If we try one more
time
Maybe somehow we’ll
survive]
I step closer to her, pressing our bodies together so that
not even light could pass between them…
[Maybe you could be
mine again
Maybe we could make
that dream for real
Like way back then
When love was yours
and mine
Boy maybe we could
bring it back
Maybe we could bring
it back
Maybe we could bring
it back to…
Life
Maybe you could be
mine]
As the song ends, she looks into my eyes and begs, “Please
Buffy, give me another chance?”
“This was incredibly sweet Faith, but it’s just too little,
too late.”