This Place and Time

"Wills you can do it I know you can. If you can find a
way to... I don't know. To keep him from losing his
soul. Then I can be with him," Xander said. He was so
excited that he almost kissed Willow. Figuring that
wouldn't go over too well he gave her a big hug. If
this worked then he could be with Angel without having
to worry about Angelus, it just seemed like too much
to hope for. But if anyone could do it, it was Willow.

"Xander just hold on a second. I don't really think
you know exactly what you’re asking. Things go wrong
with these sort of spells. Nothing is a sure thing
with magic. I don't even know if anything like this
has been attempted before." She broke the hug and
stared at him. There had to be a way to get this
across without crushing him. With a sigh she
continued. "Xander calm down and listen okay? If this
spell doesn't go right anything could happen. Angel
could either be permanently attached to his soul, or,
he could lose it forever. Do you get that? No more
soul Xander, Angelus would be here to stay. Do you
really want that on your hands, or better yet my
hands?"

"Well there has to be a way Will. If anyone can do it
it's you. Weren't you the one who put his soul back in
to begin with?" He was hoping she‘d at least try. Of
course he knew the risks he wasn't stupid. He had
after all almost been killed by a mob of angry woman
under a love spell. But if there was a way to get
around it he at least wanted her to give it a try.

"Yes I was. But I don't see exactly where you're going
with this Xan."

"What about the curse, there has to be a loophole. Do
some mojo or something, there has to be a way. Can you
at least look into it for me?” Staring her in the eyes
he wondered what she would say. The moment seemed to
stretch into infinity as she sat silently and thought
about it.

Willow let out a sigh before nodding her head. "Fine.
I'll look into it but you owe me big time mister. But
don't think this is a for sure thing. All I'm saying
is I'll look into it, no guarantee's kay?"

Xander leapt up and gave her a huge hug, he was so
excited he couldn't think. "Thank you Wills. You don‘t
know what this means. I never felt like this toward
anyone before."

"What! Not even me? I thought you loved me," she
pouted. Xander stiffened and pulled away. Staring at
her surprised, noticing her sporting a big smile.
"Calm down Xan I'm just playing with you. After all
that's happened and been said you really think I'd try
to get my hands on the feast that is you." She laughed
at his surprised expression. He blushed and looked
down at the ground. Embarrassed for thinking that she
had actually been serious. She merely nodded before
giving him a slight pat on the head. "Well Xan I don't
know when I'll be able to start but it should be very
soon. I'll stop by the library tomorrow and see if
Giles has any books."

A grin on his face he looked up and let out a steady
breath. "Thank you so much Will. You really don't know
how much this means to me. I mean," he sighed," it
just means a lot."

"Well let's not pretend this is all for you. I'm sure
Angel will be happy." Xander smiled at his friend. He
still couldn't believe that she hadn't freaked when he
gave her the news that he loved the vampire that he
claimed to hate for so many years. It felt good to
have a friend like her, and now he had someone else
to.

"So now that we have this mess out of the way, I want
you to give me all the details. Let's start at the
beginning and work our way up to the main event.
Although I want you to hold back on all the hot and
steamy vampire luv'in. I'm still a sweet and
innocent," she giggled. She really wanted to know what
Xander had been up to and the events that lead to him
falling deeply in love. If she asked she knew he
wouldn't admit to being completely head over heels in
love, but she knew he was.

"Oh, um, I don't know exactly were to start."

"Well why don't you start at the beginning," she
suggested.

"Well okay. It was Christmas and I sorta bought Angel
a present," he paused when he heard Willow make an
'awe' sound. Apparently she thought it was sweet, but
it only served to embarrass him. "Well anyway I was
looking forward to making peace with him and that's
why I bought him the gift. It wasn't really anything,
just a weapon and a small photo of the gang."

"And?"

"And what? There is no and."

"I know there has to be. Xander, every time you’ve
given someone a present out of the blue it’s been
because you felt guilty, or bad for them. I know
you've never felt any sympathy for Angel. So the
likely conclusion is guilt."

"No! I do not feel guilty. For anything," he denied.
If he was going to admit to any sort of guilt it would
be to Angel first.

"Okay fine. If you don't want to tell me that's
alright. But these things usually happen because you
feel guilty. Like, remember when we were seven and you
broke the head off my Barbie. I was so upset and you
made me a card with huge scribble letters that said
'I'm sorry'. Sorry was misspelled, it was so cute.
Then you offered me the head of your G.I. Joe. Weird,
but cute," she took a deep breath and continued." You
see where I'm going with this?"

"Yes I do. But I'm trying to tell you that I don't
feel guilty for anything. There’s nothing for me to be
guilty about."

"Oh… well what about Faith?"

"What do you mean? What about her?"

"Oh, I see now. There’s no need to pretend here Xan.
We all know it was you who encouraged Faith to attack
Angel. I get why you did it, I really do. But, seeing
as he wasn't Angelus I can see why you might have felt
bad. That's so sweet. You felt bad because you almost
got him killed by the lean mean slayer machine, then
you come with a peace offering. Hot steamy romance
then ensues," she giggled.

"Will," he warned. What was up with her anyway? Was
she honestly trying to embarrass him? "Yes I do feel
guilty about that now. But the present was just a
present. Nothing more. You know how long me and Angel
have been at each others throats. I guess I just
wanted that to be over. There are more important
thing's going on right now."

"Like romance," she smiled.

He groaned in frustration." Are you going to let me
finish my story without smothering me? Or do I stop
here and leave you with the little information you
have?"

"Oh no," she whimpered. "Don't stop, please continue.
It's just I've never seen you like this before."

"Like what? I don't get it."

"Well you seem really... Happy I guess would be the
word for it."

"I've been happy before," he said, offended by her
choice of words.

"I know but this is different somehow. Maybe that's
why I'm so cheery. I just want you to be happy and
this thing you have with Angel seems to be the real
deal for you. So I'm sorry if I'm a little more than
overjoyed."

He tilted his head and stared at her bemused, then
smiled. She really was the best friend he could have.
"Thank you. Now can I continue the story," he asked.
She nodded and he started. "Okay, I gave him the
present and he didn't seem overjoyed but more in
shock. We went into this really awkward silent phase
before I told him that I wanted to try to be friends.
He agreed and then I told him I'd meet him later that
night."

For the next few minutes he went through everything he
could think of. When he got to the part where Angel
escorted him home Willow stopped him. "Awe," she
whimpered. "Xander that is so sweet. Maybe I was
totally wrong. It sounds like Angel really does care
about you."

"He just wanted to make sure I got home alright Will.
I don‘t really think there was anything behind that."

"Yeah but from the way you make it sound you thought
he hated you. But if he really did hate you Xander he
wouldn't have thought of walking you home like he did.
I just think that is so great. Please go on."

He continued the story, but skipped that part where he
had met Willow at McDonald's. She knew what happened
and that was unimportant. When he got to the part
where he encountered Buffy at the mansion Willow
stopped him again.

"Wait. You mean Buffy was there with Angel?"

"Yeah she was. She was checking on him I guess. At
least that's what Angel told me. But we argued Will.
Things were said and I'm pretty sure she’s still
pissed at me. I kind of told her I was stalking her
and that I didn't think she could be with him without
setting Angelus free. I really messed up didn't I?"

"I can't really say it wasn't your fault. But it
wasn't completely yours Xander." He gave her a
questioning look so she decided that she'd better
explain. "Xander, she knows what the risks are. She
knows we have worries and that we don't completely
trust Angel. I can't say I was too thrilled myself to
find out that she was keeping it a secret, but I dealt
with it. She’s still our friend Xander. Just give her
some time and I'm sure she'll get over it."

"But that's just it. I wasn't stalking her and I
didn't really give a second thought about Angelus. I
was jealous. I was jealous that she was there when I
was supposed to be. I guess I just kind of want him
all to myself. Is that wrong?"

"No it's not. I really don't think you can help being
jealous. When you were all up and in love with Buffy I
was angry. I just couldn't believe that you would go
after her when I was right there."

Xander spoke up right after she completed her
sentence. "Wait stop. I am not going into that. And
just so we're clear I was never in love with Buffy. It
was just hormones and she’s a very attractive girl."

"And I'm not attractive," she said offended.

"What are you doing? Honestly, didn't you just say we
were past that? You are attractive Will. Why else
would I have kissed you? It was just at the wrong time
was all."

"Well, I can't say I'm really mad. But maybe that's
your problem Xan. You're always going after the
unattainable. Buffy, Cordy, now Angel."

"Well two out of three isn't bad is it?"

"Yeah well..... OH!" She whimpered." Xander what about
Buffy? You don't think when she was over there that
her and Angel… were with the hands and the touching,
do you?"

His eyes widened. What had happened that night? Buffy
had been there quite a while. What if Angel and Buffy
were still together? Or maybe they weren't, but it
still, it made him feel small in comparison. That
dreadful thought crossed his mind again - Why would
Angel be with him when he could have Buffy?
"Oh god, you don't think they're still?" He felt tears
prickling and trickling down the side of his face.

Willow reached her hand out and wiped the falling
droplets from his face. " I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't
have mentioned that."

"No it's okay. You're right. They still could be
together. I really don't know. I just thought that
maybe I could have him all to myself. I see now why
Buffy loves him but I don't think I can compare to
what they had. Wills, she gave him perfect happiness.
How can I compete with someone who can give him
perfect happiness? She's a slayer on top of that. I
can't compete," he repeated as more tears fell down
his face.

Wiping the falling tears from his face Willow decided
that it was time for some final words before she left.
Xander needed to deal with these issues and she knew
she wasn't going to be able to solve them. "Xan, I
don't really know what’s going on in Angel's head. I
know that Buffy still loves him, but I don't think
that's enough for them to last. And Angel doesn't
really strike me as a two time, so I don't think he
would start something with you and still try and be
with Buffy as well. Just ask him. I don't know if
that'll help but you have to know."

Wiping more tears from his face he looked at her and
gave a sad smile. "Yeah, thanks. I'll try that. I just
don't know if I can take being rejected. It's weird
but I don't feel ... I don't know I just love him."

Willow smiled slightly and helped him stand up.
"Maybe you should get some more rest you seem really
tired."

She was right. He had gotten very little sleep last
night and he had a very busy morning. Nodding, he
agreed with her. "Yeah you’re right. I'm just going to
get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow."

Willow threw her arms around him and hugged him close.
Burying her face in his chest she decided it was time
to go. "Alright I'll see you tomorrow Xan. I hope this
works out. I hope he loves you too."

His arms tightened around her and he gave her a small
kiss on the head. "Thank you."

"Okay I'll be going now. I'll call Buffy and tell her
that you’re sick." She squeezed tighter. "And I'll go
check in on that spell for you... But Xander, if and
when you ask him, if he wants Buffy after all - Do you
still want me to do the spell?"

He laid another small kiss on her head. "Yeah of
course I do Wills. I can't explain it but even if he
doesn't choose me in the end, I still want him to be
happy. It's crazy huh?"

She pulled away and looked him in the eyes. Xander had
tears running down his face and she wiped them away
again. Smiling sadly she spoke. "No Xan, I don't think
it's crazy. I'll come by tomorrow. Maybe you can share
the first kiss story with me," she smiled.

Saying their goodbye's Willow walked off. Xander
waited on the steps until she was out of sight. Then
he turned around and headed inside. He hoped that his
parents were out or that they were doing something
that would preoccupy them while he went to his room
and slept. When he reached his bedroom he slowly
opened the door and entered. Flinging himself on the
bed he buried his head deep in his pillow. Before he
fell asleep he thought about what he was going to do
that evening when he arrived at the mansion. Would he
tell Angel about the spell? Or would he ask him who he
really wanted to be with? He came to a decision and
drifted off into sleep.
***
Hours later he awoke from his sleep and sat up in bed.
Looking at the clock he noticed it was only one
o'clock in the afternoon. With a sigh he got out of
bed and headed toward the kitchen and made himself
something to eat. Hours went by and he still hadn't
left his home. What he wanted to do was head to
Angel's and ask him the question he'd been waiting to
ask since his visit with Willow.

Just before the sun set he made his way toward the
mansion. Too excited to think he sprinted toward
Angel's home. When he arrived he pounded on the door
hoping that it would be answered right away.

The door opened and he was yanked inside, immediately
met with a passionate kiss from the person he had been
waiting to see all day. Angel grabbed him and held him
close as he thrust his tongue into the willing mouth.
Xander melted into the kiss and was feeling light
headed.

Without once leaving Xander's lips Angel shut the door
and proceeded to grope the younger man's body. He
placed his right hand in the boy's hair and urged him
kiss back. When he felt a tongue playing lightly with
his own he reached his other hand down and cupped
Xander's backside.

Xander in return threw his hands around Angel's neck.
Placed both hands in the vampire's thick brown hair
and tried to force him to thrust his tongue deeper in
his mouth. Angel gave his ass a light squeeze and
pulled their groins together. Xander began to moan as
he felt the friction of both their cocks rubbing
through their pants.

Soon Xander needed to pull away for breath. He nestled
his head against Angel's chest and held the vampire
closer to him. He wanted to ask him, but he couldn't
bring himself to break this silence. Whenever he was
with Angel he just wanted to forget about everything,
and the vampire made it so easy that it really didn't
take much effort on Xander's part.

"Someone miss me," the vampire ask.

With a sigh he closed his eyes and held Angel more
tightly. "You don't even know. Today has been so
draining."

Angel laid a kiss on his forehead then gave his ass an
affectionate squeeze. "You want to take this to the
bedroom? Maybe we can relieve some of that stress,”
Angel smiled.

Xander clung tighter to the vampire. "I really don't
want to. It's comfortable right here."

Angel slid his hands up and started playing with the
waistband of his jeans. Then he slid both hands inside
and grabbed the boy’s firm ass. "You sure about that,"
he said as he leaned his head down and started to kiss
Xander's neck.

"Fine," he moaned. " But you’re going to have to carry
me."

"No problem. Just hook your legs around me."

Angel squeezed his ass again and Xander moaned. He
threw his legs up and hooked them around the vampire's
waist. Angel held him close and he darted toward the
bedroom.

Angel threw them both on the mattress and made quick
work of both their cloths. Fully naked Angel placed
Xander on top of him and started kissing the boys
neck.

Xander moaned and whimpered as Angel moved lower down
his neck nipping every part of skin along the way.
Feeling two fingers near his lips Xander sucked them
into his mouth and swirled his tongue over the two
digits. Not exactly sure why, he only did what he
thought was expected of him.

Angel moved lower down his body and took one of
Xander's nipples into his mouth. He swirled his tongue
over the nub and bit down every few moments. Both were
aching for release and began to rub their erections
together frantically.

Xander moaned around the vampire‘s fingers, feeling
the slick glide of his and Angel‘s erections rubbing
against each other. The feeling was great, and he
concentrated on the vampire‘s muscled body working
beneath his own. Then the fingers were removed from
his mouth and Angel's hand came to his backside and
parted his cheeks. He felt the two wet digits placed
at his entrance and closed his eyes and placed his
head on Angel's shoulder.

Then the two fingers pierced his entrance and began
working their way in and out of his tight hole.
"Fuck," he moaned into Angel's shoulder as the fingers
drove themselves in deeper. He felt pressure against
his prostate and he was about ready to explode from
all the friction on his cock and the fingers that were
currently working his hole.

Soon the friction became too much and he came between
his and Angel's body's. Angel gave his ass a hard
smack and worked the fingers in a few more times
before he reached orgasm.

They both stayed panting for minutes and let the scene
sink it. Xander was so far gone he barely noticed the
fingers leaving his ass.
A few moments passed allowing Xander some clarity; he
felt anxious to ask his question.

He also felt like an ass for bringing it up after
Angel just gave him one of the most intense orgasms he
ever had, but he was dying to know.

Getting off of the vampire he slung his legs over the
side of the bed and stared at the wall. He didn't want
to look at Angel when he asked him.
"Angel I need to ask you something," he said in a low
voice.

He felt the bed dip. Strong arms wrapped around his
waist and he was held firmly against the vampire's
chest. "What is it," Angel asked as he kissed his
neck.

"Please stop that. I really need to ask Angel."

"What is it?"

"Do you want me?"

TBC