Fisi Mtima

chapter summary: doctors and spirits, oh my!


.Chapter Eleven.

"I don't like it, pet. Let's get out of here." Spike made for the door, but was intercepted by Xander, who took his hand and pulled him closer. Spike stared at the white room, with it's white furniture and stainless steel trim. A shiver ran through him. This was too clean, way too clean.

Spike could feel the heat in Xander carefully traveling the length of the man's arm, connecting to Spike's own. It warmed him slowly. Taking a deep breath, Spike slipped his hand from Xander's and sat down on the metal table. Flashes of memory, dim and yet disturbingly real, went through him. Soldiers and doctors. Knives and needles. Pain. So much pain.

Xander could feel Spike tense. He quickly took a step forward, but stopped when Spike's body tensed even further, his jaw clenching. A shudder ran through Spike, before the vampire opened his eyes and gave Xander a stubborn look. "You don't have to hover all over me, Harris."

"Excuse me for being worried about you." Xander growled, his comfort mode immediately switching to agitation. He couldn't understand it. Why wouldn't Spike just give in? Every time they got one step closer to a nice, comfortable relationship Spike would back away. Frowning, Xander turned away from the frustrated vampire and chose instead to stare out the small window, which revealed a cloudy L.A. night.

Spike grumbled to himself for a moment. Deep down he could understand Xander's anger. Spike had been bouncing around their entire relationship since it began. He couldn't help it. As a person, as a being, he relished every scrape of attention Xander gave him. He loved the idea of being held, of being protected. But his demon was fighting it all the way. While the demon admired the idea of a mate, it wasn't agreeing to all of this as well as Spike earlier thought it did. Perhaps, the monster within him was afraid it would finally lose all control if it went along with this.

"My Goddess!" A high voice screeched. Spike and Xander turned to see a short man enter the room, shutting the door quickly behind him. He looked human enough, except for the two inch long pink horns that curled out of his head. "Stop brooding!"

"Pardon?" Spike raised an eyebrow. He did not brood.

"Your auras are getting a little crazy with what ever it is you're thinking about." The doctor shuddered before shaking off what ever he was feeling. Clearing his throat, his bowed slightly to both of them. "I am Doctor Keebler, of the Woodland Territory."

"Don't." Spike ordered quickly when Xander opened his mouth to comment. Xander's mouth snapped shut and a small growl emitted from his chest. Spike snorted.

"Ah, and you must be the host of cats and dogs, hmm?" Keebler mused, his eyes darting over to Xander. "Hyenas are amazing creatures, are they not?"

"I'm rather fond of them." Xander said coldly.

"Humph." Keebler stuck his nose slightly into the air and walked over to the counter. He carefully pulled out a large magnifying glass. "Well, Mr. Bloody, let's take a look-see!"

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Xander asked, stepping between the cheerful doctor and Spike. His nostrils flared slightly, scenting the doctor. Dr. Keebler stared up at him, frowning slightly.

"I beg your pardon, but I plan on viewing his soul." Keebler sounded rather miffed. He held up the magnifying glass. "I suspect, with him being a vampire, there will be only small traces left over from when he was alive. They are very hard to see. I can't just glance at him, unlike with you."

"Me?" Xander raised an eyebrow, still not removing himself from the doctor's way.

"You're very blinding, young man." Keebler gentle ushered Xander to the side. Xander went, but could not hold back the glare that he sent the small demon. Keebler ignored him, grabbing a stool and sitting down in front of Spike. "Yes, you do pulse like an over-powered flashlight. I suspect it is the result of housing two very powerful spirits within."

"Whoa, powerful?" Xander snorted. The nearly constant animalistic stance disappeared and for a moment the old Xander was all too visible. "I've never been powerful. The hyena, yeah, she's strong. But not me."

"Lie all you want." Keebler eyed Xander carefully. "Do you really think a normal soul could withstand repetitive possessions like you have?"

"I... How do you know this?" Xander asked, his eyes hardening suspiciously.

"It's all in your aura, young man. One's soul is graphed with their experiences. If a person is able to see them, they are able to see everything about that person. Call it a gift, call it a blessing." Keebler sighed. "It's terribly annoying at times, though."

"Can we get back to me?" Spike asked snidely. Xander rolled his eyes and turned back to the window, though he kept an eye on Spike while the doctor did his work.

"Hmm, yes." Keebler nodded, leaning forward with the magnifying glass raised before Spike's chest. "Ah, there is the demon. Interesting, very interesting. Such mourning. Such angst! What have you been doing to this poor creature, Mr. Bloody? He is craving a stake, it seems." Keebler tutted and moved to another portion of Spike's chest.

"Aha!" Keebler chuckled in spite of himself. "Very nice, very nice indeed."

"What?" Spike asked, sounding annoyed.

"Indeed, William appears to be here." Keebler mused, ignoring Spike. "And there. Yes, I see now. The connection is obvious. But how? How did she manage? Ah... So fate is a real thing, hmm?"

"What are you bloody well going on about?" Spike growled. Keebler ignored him once more. Xander, his curiosity getting the best of him, walked over. When he got within a foot of spike, the doctor gasped loudly.

"It is right there! Traces! Yes!" Keebler exclaimed. He tossed the magnifying glass to the side, ignoring it shattering on the floor, his eyes filled with awe. Xander raised an eyebrow in question. Spike tilted his head, trying to fight back the need to kick the small demon across the room.

"Plan on sharing any of that with us, hmm?" Spike asked.

"It is amazing. Such a link as I have never seen." Keebler placed a small hand on his own chest and looked a little misty at the eyes.

"Get on with it!" Xander snapped. Keebler blinked and frowned as though finally noticing the looks of impatience on his patients' faces. Sighing, Keebler rolled the stool back and crossed his arms, looking up at them with a serious expression.

"Mr. Bloody-"

"It's Spike."

"Yes, whatever. Spike, then." Keebler continued. "Your demon is not to happy with you, I must say. I believe it is mostly because of the chip in that head of yours. Sadly there is not much you can do about that. I believe that once this problem is resolved, the chip will matter very little to the demon."

"Lovely." Spike mumbled.

"I must say, Spike." Keebler said. "I have soul-read many vampires. The most I have ever seen of their souls is tiny particles, as I said earlier. But you, wow, you are something else. Your soul is very fragmented, but it appears to have never truly left your body when you were turned. I suspect it might have something to do with your Sire. Drusilla is very much connected to the other realm, it would make sense that she would be able to access such an object such as your soul. Now, I do not believe that she intentionally kept you from losing your soul.

"Perhaps that was the Powers' idea as fun, but what matters is that when your soul went to leave your body, to make room for your demon, something intercepted. I suspected along with Drusilla's own psychic energy and William’s own stubborn quality the soul remained anchored. You lost small pieces of it, naturally. That is why the demon is able to be noticeable in the first place. The demon is there, and for quite some time had full control, but even it was not a normal one. I do believe fate has quite the joke playing with you."

"Joy." Spike glared, though his mind was racing with the news that he was receiving. Xander remained quiet next to him, a confused look on his face.

"Now, then." Keebler took a deep breath. "Mr. Harris you are effecting Spike in the most unique way. Your fisi mtima is locking onto the fragments of William and literally pulling."

"Wait. 'Fisi Mtima'?" Xander asked.

"Uh, yes. Hyena Soul, if you will." Keebler explained. "Anyway, the pulling that your hyena is doing, its causing William to grow. Spike's soul is literally returning to him. But, as most things tend to be, this process appears to be rather unstable. The hyena doesn't know what it's doing. It is just attempting to make Spike whole, to make it's mate a true equal. It's similar to being out in the wild for the hyena. But instead of teaching Spike to hunt or fight better, she is trying to make him spiritually equal."

"But that doesn't explain why Spike's heart starts beating." Xander replied.

"In a sense it does." Keebler smiled slightly, as though congratulating himself on his own mastermind. Spike made a grunt, a small noise that seemed to fully express the vampire's need for this conversation to get moving. "The hyena's soul is mystical in nature, everything that she does is mystical. This is included in that. She is pulling at Spike's soul, trying to bring William to full presence. At the same time, she is bringing forward what William was: a human. These little spurts of magic, of instability, are causing Spike's body to attempt to revert back to it's natural state. That is, being alive."

"What if she.. I... Succeed?" Xander asked. "Will Spike be human?"

"What?" Spike exclaimed. "I do not want to be human. I like being a vampire!"

"No, no, no!" Keebler shook his head. "Not to worry, Spike. Once your soul is fully restored, the hyena will desist. Once your soul is formed, you will be able to continue your path to a well balanced bond. Hoping Spike's demon will accept it, that is."

"What do you mean by restoring his soul?" Xander said slowly. He glanced over at Spike, who had suddenly gone rigid.

"Oh, hell no!" Spike leapt off the table and began pacing around the white office. "I am not getting cursed like the poof! I will not spend the rest of eternity not getting to have sex with Xander." Xander, despite himself, preened. "It is not happening! Forget it."

"Ac-"

"No!" Spike interrupted. "Don't you bloody listen? I'm not doing it."

"Yes, bu-"

"Not happening." Spike growled.

"Are you quite done?" Keebler asked, sighing. Spike paused, before nodding. "I never said you needed to be cursed. You just need your soul restored to full strength. We are not talking about some gypsy curse like that poor Angelus went through. Angelus had no soul left in him. The gypsies went through a lot of trouble and hassle to curse him, and that's why they added the happiness clause. They wanted to make sure the only way for him to lose his soul would be the one thing that he would feel too guilty to do: love. Though, I heard he got over that little problem."

"Yeah, a few years ago. But he got recursed." Xander said.

"Tsk. Heaven's no." Keebler chuckled. "That little witch from Sunnydale has not the power to create the vengeful nature of a gypsy curse!"

"You mean..." Xander trailed off, looking over at Spike.

"Huh. That explains him and the half-breed." Spike commented.

"No, Spike. Think about what he just said." Xander told him.

"Right. The poof can get laid." Spike shrugged. "So what?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Xander growled.

"What are you going on about, whelp?" Spike asked. He yelped as Xander grabbed him by the lapels of his duster and pressed him against the wall. Xander's eyes flashed green and Spike fought down a groan. No matter how much he denied it, this side of Xander never ceased to turn him on.

"He said that Willow didn't curse Angel. He said that Willow simply restored his soul." Xander said slowly.

"You mean... Red knows how to restore a soul? Without the happiness clause?" Spike asked, his eyes widening. "Oh! Umm... yay?"

"What do you mean, yay?" Xander frowned slightly, releasing his hold of the vampire. "Aren't you happy. We can restore your soul. The hyena... I... Will be satisfied and you wont have to hurt anymore."

"Yeah, I know." Spike mumbled, looking away.

"You don't want to?" Xander sounded like a little boy. Spike closed his eyes, knowing full well it wouldn't block Xander out.

"Said I wanted this fixed, didn't I?" Spike replied.

"You just don't want to do it if the result is forever with me." Xander said coldly.

"Dammit, pet-" Spike started.

"I am not your pet!" Xander yelled, causing Spike to press himself further into the wall. "I'm your mate. You made a choice, remember? Last night when you told me that you loved me? You chose me, Spike. You chose to be with me. Why do you keep changing your mind?"

"I... I don't know." Spike whispered.

"Well, it's rather obvious." Keebler announced from behind them.

"Excuse me?" Xander asked, staring the doctor down.

"Well, at the moment Spike is bouncing between having a demon in control to having William in control." Keebler said. "The demon isn't too pleased with this entire affair. William, if his soul truly does describe him, is a romantic in nature and is, literally, willing to give himself to you forever. It's the demon that keeps putting the doubts in Spike's mind. And the problem with that is that Spike is, essentially, both William and the demon vampire. Their disagreement on this one subject is causing quite a conflict."

"Is it really?" Spike asked sarcastically.

"No need to be snippy." Keebler told him, sniffing dramatically. Keebler stood, his eyes finally drawn to his now broken magnifying glass. He waved his hand absentmindedly and barely noticed as the magnifying glass restored itself. Turning, he eyed Xander and Spike. "I've given you all that I can. It's your choice now."

"Yeah, thanks." Xander said, his eyes turning back to Spike. Spike shifted uncomfortably.

"Not a problem. It was a pleasure." Keebler smiled, then held out a hand. "That will be three hundred dollars."

It was nearly dawn when Spike and Xander returned to Angel's basement apartment. Despite both knowing that Angel and Doyle were still up - they could hear them talking from outside the door - they attempted to sneak in. It was their hope that they would not be noticed and therefore could sit down and actually talk. Well, that was Xander's hope. Spike was hoping that he could get Xander all hot and bothered, resulting in the vampire getting some and Xander forgetting about the problem at hand.

Neither worked.

"Well?" Angel asked, the moment Spike carefully shut the door behind him. Both men stared at Angel. Doyle watched from his seat on the couch as Spike fought some strange instinct to whine like a teenager getting caught sneaking out.

"Well, what?" Xander asked, meeting Angel's gaze. Angel looked away. He really didn't like this new side of Xander. It made him feel... bested for some reason.

"What did the doctor say?" Angel asked, fighting his own impatience.

"First of all," Xander started, slipping past Angel in order to join Doyle on the couch. "What the heck kind of a name is Keebler? Second of all... Well, it's not my place."

"Too bad, too sad. Better luck next time, eh poof?" Spike grinned. Xander glared. "Right, fine. I got a bloody soul. It's a little... broken up, but it's there."

"You have a soul?" Angel asked, his words coming out slowly.

"Yes. I. Have. A. Soul." Spike replied, as though talking to a child. "And guess what, Peaches! I got mine without a curse. In fact, I never lost it."

"The doctor told you this?" Angel questioned. Spike nodded. "Humph. Well, you always were the black sheep of the family."

"This coming from the Manilow fan?" Spike asked lightly. Both Doyle and Xander were surprised to see the smallest of smiles appear on Angel's face.

"When are you leaving?" Angel asked.

"At dusk." Spike replied.

"Very well. You can have the couch again. Just... Please... Don't have sex. The smell will not go away." Angel said, before turning and leaving the living room. Doyle immediately stood and followed his sleepy lover into their bedroom. Neither noticed the lecherous grin that Spike turned on Xander, but they did hear Xander yelp of surprise when Spike leapt on top of him. Sighing, Angel slammed the bedroom door shut in hopes to block out the noise.

"Woah!" Xander exclaimed, pushing Spike away. "What? Now you want to get groiny? I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore! Mr. I Keep Changing My Stupid Mind!"

"You're still upset about that?" Spike asked. "Sheesh, let it go, mate. We'll get it all straightened out when we get back to Sunnydale, right?" Spike slid across the couch until he was practically in Xander's lap. "Now, where were we?"

"With me about to stop." Xander said, his voice hard. He turned glowing green eyes to Spike, a low growl emitting from his chest. "I'm not something to be played with."

"Never said you were." Spike said softly.

"If you don't want to be with me, then I'm not going to bother attempting to mate with you." Xander told him. "I'm not playing around. I'm serious, Spike. You don't seem to understand that."

"I do know that you're serious!" Spike snapped. "I get it, I really do. I can't help that my moods are bouncing off the wall, Xander. I don’t know what to do about it. I want you. My body wants you. My mind wants you. My heart wants you. But there is this tiny part of me that keeps screaming no!"

"The demon."

"No! It's not just that." Spike sighed, looking away from Xander's gaze. "It's not that simple. They aren't two separate beings, like that doctor insinuated. Me? I'm both, Xander. I'm both the soul and the demon, there is no separation like there is with Angel. I just... Have doubts."

"What doubts?" Xander asked.

"I don’t know. I'm afraid..." Spike closed his eyes, grimacing at the word. "I... I really am, okay? I'm afraid I'm going to get used to this and... And then it will be gone. You'll leave me."

"Why would I leave you?" Xander asked, gently wrapping his arms around Spike's waist. He rested his chin on Spike's shoulder, gazing up at the vampire's stressed expression. "I can't live without you."

"Everyone leaves me, pet." Spike snorted, sounding disgusted with himself. "Cecily. Angelus. Dru. Hell, even Harmony left me. If Harmony of all people could find me worthless then why would you want me?"

"I..." Xander trailed off, unsure with what to say. Unconsciously, he felt a vibration echo from his chest. A soft purr filled the room, still harsh like a hyena's, but never the less filled with comfort. Xander knew there were no words to prove that he wouldn't leave Spike. Sighing, he pulled the quiet vampire closer.