Shadows across the heart

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series
TITLE: Shadows across the heart
AUTHOR: Willie J
EMAIL: wmj166@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://www.slashaholics-island.com/library; http://www.adult-fanfiction.org;http://www.brain-insane.com/beyondcanon;
PAIRINGS: A/X in this part
RATING: R
WORDCOUNT:
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, nor Angel the Series.
FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or through the list
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS:
SUMMARY:
BETA'D BY: Elaine (the mighty) and James (the marvelous)
SUMMARY: Something is very wrong in Sunnydale
A/N: Those of Buffyverse are naturally Joss' creations, however, any and all other characters mentioned are my own.


Chapter 11

During the next few weeks as Xander’s due date drew nearer, Angel, with the help of Xander and the others, made their preparation. By virtual of having a broad knowledge of magic and its’ various use, Wes grimly decided that he was the logical one to cast the first part of the spell. There was a dangerously cold and challenging set to his face, a hollow dread in his eyes that caused shivers of icy fear to skitter down the spines of the various people and demons in the room. Any protests died in their throats and mutely they acquiescence to his demand.

With extensive help from Ethan, as well as the other Guardians, he practiced assiduously. Xander, Fred, Cordy, Gunn and Angel would power the two spells. Wes would have a dual challenge, one as a spell caster and two, as a repository for all the energies. The power that the group was generating was something all creatures, natural or unnatural, demon or human resonated with. However, only those with magical ability could utilize this energy source. And it was something only those most desperate would offer. For to willingly allow someone to tap into your very soul, gave them an enormous amount of power over you.

Yet it was what they had to offer and the trap for the Shadow Queen was comprised of something she would do almost anything to get her hands on.

And they were going to allow her to do it.

The spell was fiendishly simple yet at the same time extraordinary dangerous. One miscalculation would bring the ending of more than just the lives of Wes, Gunn, Fred and Cordy. It would or could potentially destroy L.A. And that was just for starters.

But weighing the cost of the possible damage should they fail versus the certainty of destruction that the Shadow Queen would bring, they forged ahead with their plan. If they failed, Xander and Angel along with the other Guardians and Defenders would at least remain alive to hopefully undo what they had done.

It was unspoken that Cordy and the other humans would be the first to die if control of the spell. Grimly they threw themselves into what they were doing.

Reducing or increasing the power of the spell when if it seemed Wesley was verging on overload. Despite his gasping denials, they took extreme care in how they were proceeding. They went as fast as they could, but with a wary eye on Wesley’s ability to handle the vast amount of energy that was pouring through him.

He was the only one that could power the spell. The Shadow Queen could and would recognize Ethan’s signature as well as the other Guardians. She would naturally be cautious, and suspect a trap. However, Wes’ magical signature she had never encountered. If she did sense his power, it would be assumed that it was simply wards to protect the room’s inhabitants.

Some days Wesley would collapse under the stress of the power coursing through him, unable to channel it. With blank, rolling eyes and a spastically jerking body, he was carried to the nearest bed. And there he was solicitously tended with soothing touches and cold compresses. A bucket at the ready for the inevitable nausea that threatened to turn his stomach inside out.

But hours later, a pasty-white, gaunt and hollowed-eyed Wesley would shakily rise from his bed, announcing that he felt perfectly fine. Fit as a fiddle. His voice, a mere rasp, hoarsely ordered them to get on with it. And meeting Xander’s eyes, his held a grim resolution.

In for a penny; in for a pound.

No one in the group was unaware of the cost if the first part of the spell failed. If Dawn, and thereby the Shadow Queen, escaped them. The world was a huge place. And while Guardians and their people were extremely vigilant, they were not infallible. If the Shadow Queen bolted, now alerted to their watching eyes… by the time they found her, it would be far too late to stop her from wreaking havoc on the world.

Deceit and treachery was how she gained access to this world. And death and deceit was how they were going to expel her.

They had one chance to entrap her with a minimum of bloodshed….The one flaw in her makeup. She could only occupy a living host. Riding the body hard and corrupting the soul until it finally came to mirror her own dark image. Then she simply subhumed the body, utterly and finally taking it over.

So they intended to provide her with a body. A perfectly defenseless, helpless host. One that she would take extreme delight in. A body with a soul that she wouldn’t need to corrupt.

Once again, Wesley settled himself in front of Lakti and nodded abruptly. He was ready. Cordy, Gunn and Fred hurried to take their positions behind him. Because as much as they needed the young mage, he needed his friends to provide the emotional support to power the spell.

Once in position, Wesley began. In his mind, he conjured up the mental images that he used to represent his friends and their individual strengths.

First to appear was a huge bramble of fiery, spiky thorns that twisted in a bewilderingly, deceitful maze of branches. Cordelia Chase, he put a name to the plant-like image.

Next to appear was a thick and pitted rough pillar. Mighty it appeared, giving the appearance of nothing but strength and power. Yet it twisted with a surprising flexibility, and curved down and around the fiery bush, sheltering it. Becoming a wall and adding its’ vast presence to the maze of protection. Wesley smiled, naming his lover. Charles Gunn

Then came a long, thin and shiny metallic serpentine form. Moving slowly, so slowly the eye was almost deceived into thinking it was barely moving, it slithered over the pillar and snaked into the bramble. It coiled atop the thorny mass, seemingly defenseless and fragile. Yet he had a feeling of dangerous intent in the relaxed, tensile form. That if pushed, or threatened only death would save you. Winifred Burkle.

How he came to that imagery of Fred, much less Cordy and Gun, he didn’t know. But somehow he knew it was an apt description of all three.

Slightly apart from the three, was a vast, deserted landscape. Stretching out into the distance, it was glowing with an almost luminous intensity under a moonlit sky. Yet racing across the land, in a zig zag manner, was a spotted canine. Why it was running, he didn’t exactly know, but he just had an overwhelming feeling of joy, laughter and mischief. A feeling underscored by a deep, haunting sadness.

Angel was the night and Xander the animal that raced beneath the moon’s benign gaze.

Step-by-step Wesley inched closer to mastering the spell. He tired less and had fewer dizzy spells. However, he was still in awe of Xander’s sheer audacity and humbled by the boy’s determination. What this would cost Xander and Angel, he shuddered to think. But the aftereffects would be felt for long to come.

Xander groaned and puffed out a breath of air as he tried to get comfortable in his chair. Sighing in relief, he scowled at the remote control sitting on the coffee table.

“Well, damn…” Angrily he crossed his arms over his bulging belly. There was no freaking way he was gonna move! He glared furiously at the innocent object of his intense frustration. Squinting, he focused all his power and willed it to move.

Staring intently, straining with all his might, he ordered the remote control to fly to him.

Nothing. Nada.

“Dammit!” Then his face lit up when Cordy sauntered back into the living room. The others were in the kitchen making lunch. They were all spending as much time together, struggling to be happy. Casiwe had extended herself throughout the entire hotel in an effort to monitor activity going on. The hotel looked the same; it was just that she was in control of it. “Cordy! Just the person I wanted to see,” he exclaimed eagerly.

“Uh, huh,” she nodded. “You sat down and you forgot, what?” Cordy gave him a knowing look. By now they were used to his machinations and most of the time, simply indulged him.

Xander gave her a charming, engaging smile. “The remote control,” he replied sheepishly. Batting his eyes, he gave her his most helpless look. “Please…?”

Gunn strolled in, a huge sandwich in one hand, a can of beer in the other. “Yo, dawg, ain’t you supposed to be exercising or somethin’?” He looked at the young man ensconced in the comfortably padded chair.

Xander stared at the man with a blank look. Slowly he said, “Dude, I’m, like ready to pop any second and you want me to do WHAT?!”

“Hey, I heard what Angel said Dr. Stern’s nurse said Dr. Stern said,” the other man exclaimed indignantly. Then mentally reviewed what he had just said with a suspicious air.

“Yeah, that’s right…” Cordy said thoughtfully. “You’re supposed to be up and moving around. Not constantly sitting or sleeping!”

“I’m pregnant, which means I get to do whatever the hell I want,” Xander snarled angrily at them. He pouted, everyone was always trying to ruin his fun.

Gunn gave him a hard look then turned on the stereo. “Up and at ‘em, Mister!” he said pulling Xander to his feet. “C’mon, shake your money maker.”

Xander gave him a shocked, panicky look. “I swear, I only worked at Ladies Night because I needed to get my car fixed! I only stripped that one night. Honest to God!”

Cordy stopped dancing and whirled around abruptly. “WHAT?!”

Wes, coming into the room, looked titillated. Angel eyed his mate with a thoughtful, intrigued look, while Ethan, Fred and Gunn wore shocked expressions.

“You so did not!” Cordy instantly recovered from her astonishment. She glared at her embarrassed friend, her eyes widening at the uncomfortable expression on his face. “Omigawd, you DID! Did you have to take off your clothes and get bare-ass nekkid?” Now she looked thrillingly intrigued.

“Hey, you make it sound like it was something sleazy and nasty,” Xander whined. He elevated his nose in the air, giving them a look of disdain. “For your information, my routine was classy! I was a Cowboy.” He gave a haughty sniff.

Both Cordy and Fred ran their eyes over him, mentally trying to recall his body dimensions, pre-pregnancy. There was something incredible lewd in the leering smiles they sent in his direction. Xander squeaked and hid behind Gunn’s solid bulk.

Angel glared at both Cordy and Fred who both had lusty, dreamy looks on their faces. “My Xander is not to be objectified,” he stated firmly as he strode over to his poor beleaguered mate. Pulling the boy into his arms, he stared challengingly at the girls who looked discomforted.

Satisfied, Angel looked at his mate. He was finding an increasing pleasure in simply holding the boy. Leaning he whispered softly into Xander’s ear, “Except by me.” He did so enjoy the wild blush that immediately covered the boy’s face.

“Get away from me, you lecher,” the young man grumbled, half-heartedly pushing Angel away. But there was a pleased smile on his face.

Gunn cranked the music up louder, and Wes darted back into the kitchen to return with food. Turning the gathering into a mini party.

Angel stood on the sidelines, watching the young humans dance and generally make fools out of themselves in an effort to recapture a sense of joie de vie. They all had a haunted look in their eyes. It wasn’t easy, knowing what they had to do.

Fred stood shyly on the sidelines with Angel, simply watching everyone have fun. These people were such a merry bunch. Despite the heartache that gripped them all, it was almost like they were able to set it all aside, somewhere away from them in order to be happy. And thinking about their lives, especially Xander and Cordy, she reflected that maybe they learned how to set aside their pain.

It couldn’t have been easy growing up in that place, losing friends to the demons that walked the streets of Sunnydale. Her eyes slid over to Wesley and Gunn. Nor for them either. Their pain was caused more by humans than demons. But it was still pain nevertheless.

Her eyes drifted over to the beautiful man that had rescued her from bondage. There was a happiness in his eyes that hadn’t been there for a long time. Even with Wesley, he looked…unfinished. Like there was something missing. Her eyes went back to Gunn and Wesley, a sad smile on her face. They looked complete. Like one was the other half of the other’s soul.

Fred sighed silently, a feeling of dolefulness overcoming her. Yet she, as always, was careful to keep her true feeling hid behind a mask of nervous ineffectualness.

Looking at the men, she reflected that she would never have ever had a chance with either man. She had long since reconciled to the fact that she was in love with two men.

Her lips quirked up in a sad, amused smile. Both her mother and father had been scandalized when she had told them. They immediately wanted her to come home and away from the depraved life in Sin City. They were so old-fashioned. They believed only that there was one love out there. But living in L.A. you sorta got used to rolling with the flow.

But she was a coward. A low down, stinking, yellow-bellied coward. She wasn’t even worthy to be called a Texan!

The slight young girl hung her head and drew back into the shadows.

“Hey, why don’t we get Fred to sing?” Xander suggested with wild enthusiasm. He had caught her act of shrinking back. He just wished there was some way to pull her out of the shadows that she loved to inhabit.

His suggestion was met with open laughter. “Whatcha laughing for?” he cried, looking highly insulted. “Fred’s a wonderful singer,” he added insistently. “Fred? Fred? C’mon and show these fools what you can do!”

He gave the shy, hesitant girl an encouraging nod and a wide, cheeky grin. “Ignore these plebeians,” he said with an annoyed, haughty look at the smiling people. “’Sides, they wouldn’t know a good singer if one walked up to them and hit ‘em!”

Fred glanced timidly at her friends. Discomfit clearly on her face now that the attention was on her. “Xander, no,” she said, shrinking back, a look of visible discomfort on her face. The others looked sheepish and ashamed of themselves for their amusement. Xander’s expression softened at the distress look on his friend’s face.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he said with quiet conviction, a note of true sincerity ringing in his tone. “Let them hear it.”

“Yeah, Fred,” Gunn said, adding his pleas to Xander. “C’mon, little girl, sing for us.” Cordy and Wesley also chimed in, along with Ethan and Angel. However, both Angel and Ethan did so in real amusement. They had each heard her sing. For such a slight young thing, Fred had an amazingly resonant voice.

Fred looked uneasily at Charles and Wesley. Anger stirred in her at the faint, condescending looks in their eyes. But with the ease of long practice, she ruthlessly tamped it down. But still her eyes gleamed with a feminine fury that cried out for revenge.

Cordy was startled at the flash of anger in Fred’s eyes. With a sidelong look at the boys, she then smiled secretly. This will be veddy interesting, she smirked to herself.

“I’ll…sing my momma’s favorite song,” Fred squeaked out, her eyes widening nervously behind her glasses.

Gunn mastered his initial impulse to roll his eyes. “Sure, that’ll be fine. You just sing whatever song your mamma taught you, babygirl,” he said gently. However, his tone was bordering on patronizing.

Cordy closed her eyes and shook her head. Why didn’t he pat her head, give her a damn lollipop, and tell her to run and play with her dolls? She thought acidly. If Fred didn’t kill him, she would, the dark haired Seer promised grimly.

A dark look glittered in the Fred’s eyes before she swiftly lowered them. Wesley squinted, suddenly feeling uneasy.

She sidled over to the stereo and put in a CD, one that she had made herself and given to Xander. Gunn looked startled when an electric guitar strummed through the room. He frowned thoughtfully, a tantalizing feeling of recognition stirring in him.

“Ooooooooh ooooooo, that’s the sound of a worried…a worried man,” came a low husky voice.

Gunn straightened like he had been shock in his ass. He looked around wildly, then his eyes widened at hearing that low, almost throbbing sound…coming from Fred. He exchanged disbelieving looks with Wesley. Suddenly sure that maybe he shouldn’t have teased her.

Slowly she turned, in profile to them. She had her eyes closed, sinking into the music.

“Ha ha ha ha aha ha; that’s the sound of having a good time,” Fred’s voice was a low, sultry caress of words. She turned and faced them, her eyes still closed. “Hmmmmmm,
hmmmmmm…that’s the sound of pain.”

Suddenly her eyes snapped open, a hard glint in them. The two men shifted slowly away from her when she stalked towards them. Cordy and Xander exchanged delighted grins and hastily got behind Fred, instantly deciding to be backup singers.

Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain...chain...chain..)
(Chain of fools)

//Lord, look down here!//

Raising her hands and face skyward, Fred belted out the lyrics, while the two irrepressible imps assumed serious expressions as they added the ‘do-wop’.

//See a worried man; chain of love, how I look back//

She lowered her head, almost glaring at the two men before her.

“For five long years, I thought you were my man. But I found out, I’m just a link in your chain.” Her voice sank to a husky growl. Gunn nervously decided that he would never, EVER piss her off. He had a wondering look on his face. Wes, on the other hand, looked like he had just been hit between the eyes.

But Fred didn’t notice, now caught up in the song. She recalled every music video Cordy forced her to watched, remembered the shaking and shimmying movements of the dancers and threw her body into copying the movements.

And in losing herself, she gave away a secret that she had been hiding for so long.

Wes’ eyes narrowed at the look the girl gave Gunn, a suspicion rising in him. There was something in Fred’s eyes that made him shift closer to the black man, like he needed to protect his territory.

Gunn blinked, suddenly wondering why he ever thought Fred was some sort of sexless creature. Sure she was skinny and didn’t quite have Cordy’s curves and stuff. But right now, she looked like she had enough to make a brotha sit up and howl. Confused by his sudden arousal, he looked uncertainly at Wes.

Fred’s twisted smile widened fractionally at the shocked look in Charles eyes. She knew she was too late to recognize want she wanted and needed. Always too late. She switched her attention to Wes, drinking him down with her eyes. She wanted both.

Beautiful men. Beautiful souls.

But she was too late.

Pulling out her inner diva, just like Cordy tried to show her, she suddenly didn’t care. She just wanted to revel in the freedom to sing as loud as she wanted, be the bold, confident woman in her dreams.

She growled, her body shaking and rolling reminiscent of the girls on the videos she watched. Spreading her hands, her hips shimmying, she belted out the words.

“Oh, you got me where you want me, I ain’t nothin but your fool! Ya treated me mean!
Oh, you treated me cruel! Every chain, has got a weak link. I might be weak, child, but I’ll give you strength…oh, babe.”

Wes drew back, startled to be the focus of so much…energy. All his life he never really had anyone pursue him. Or want him like Angel did. Like Gunn now did. Not a woman, that is. But Fred…she looked like she wanted to tear his clothes off and ride him until he broke.

Xander and his devilish cohort marched back and forth, their faces holding mock serious expressions. They paused, and began doing the Hitchhike, then a modified Twist.

Fred leaned forward, dark hair falling over her face. There was an intent look on her face as she stalked closer to Gunn and Wesley.

(Woo, woo, woo, woo)

“You told me to leave you alone….”

(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)

“My father said ‘Come on home’…”

(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)

“My doctor said ‘Take it easy’…”

(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)

“Oh, but your lovin is just too strong…”

(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)

“I’m added to your…”

Straightening, her shoulders shook up and down rapidly before she twisted around, casting the two dumbstruck men a teasing glance over her shoulder. Fred turned and smiled at Cordy, exchanging a woman-to-woman look with the other girl.

She knew neither men could ever know just what they meant to her. It was her secret. But that was okay. Besides, who would ever want a skinny geek like her? She was a nobody. And had nothing to offer.

Spinning back around, her hair swirling about her like a fan, she looked wilder and sexier than either Gunn or Wesley could believe. Indignantly they wondered where their Fred had disappeared. Both men were highly uncomfortable with this…this…sensual Fred. It wasn’t fair! Though they avoided looking at one another, feeling guilt rising within at the thought of wanting someone else, still something had them looking into each other’s eyes. Seeing the truth in the other’s widening eyes.

“Houston, I think we have a problem,” Gunn said quietly, but his eyes softened at the miserable look of guilt and desire in his lover’s eyes. Wes nodded heavily, his eyes lowering in shame. They turned and looked at Fred. Blinking as the song ended and the bold, temptress vanished. Once again, she was their shy, young friend.

Blushing furiously, Fred blinked at the two men, her eyes shifting diffidently away from their intent stares. She prayed hard. Harder than she ever prayed before that they never guessed her secret. If they did, she would run. Run home and bury herself on the farm. She held herself tensed, looking like a bird verging on the need to fly away from danger.

Wes touched Gunn on the arm, calling his lover’s attention back to him. Instinctively recognizing in Fred a need to run and escape the scrutiny of their eyes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the girl relax.

The two men exchanged another glance. A tentative question was posed in a raised brow and an answer was given in a slow, hesitant smile, all without them saying a word.

They turned back, immersing themselves in the gaily-charged atmosphere. When this was all over, they would be having a little talk with Miss Burkle. Both men smiled at the timid young woman. There was nothing really different in their smiles, but for some reason she was uneasy. Strongly resisting an urge to run as fast as her legs could carry her.

The party continued. They were having a good time, determinedly setting aside the immediate future in favor of simply enjoying themselves. For Cordy and Xander, it reminded them of their Sunnydale High days. Before every major fight, they Bronzed like maniacs.

Snickering, Xander put his hands on his hips and vigorously tried to wiggle like Gunn was doing. His belly went one way, and his hips another. He descended into a froth of giggles at the laughter that filled the room. That they laughed, he didn’t care because it wasn’t directed at him, it was with him. And chuckling, he retired from the field, waving to the others to take his place.

Angel slid behind his lover, allowing Xander to rest tiredly against him as they watched the others shimmy and shake to the loud raucous music. “How are we doing?” he breathed softly into Xander’s ear.

The young man slid his hands down to cover the cool hands resting on his belly. “I don’t know how you’re doing, but I’m okay,” Xander said pointedly, ignoring the nagging backache he had since waking.

“Sure…?” Angel pressed quietly, pulling the boy closer to him. He rested his chin on Xander’s shoulder as they watched the laughing dancers.

“Yeah…I’m good,” the dark-haired boy said softly, his eyes never leaving the happy faces on the people he now called friends. “It’s been a good couple of weeks since I’ve seen any of them happy. Maybe I shouldna involved them in this mess.”

Angel shrugged carelessly. “If you hadn’t, they would have figured it out and gotten involved anyway. Maybe even gotten themselves killed.”

“Yeah, I keep telling myself that but…” however whatever Xander was going to say was lost in a sharp stab of pain in his abdomen. He doubled over with a cry. Then moaned in shame when his pants became mortifyingly wet. He had pissed himself!

“Ciallan…!” Angel’s shout drew the attention of the others. He was bent over a moaning Xander.

Fred’s eyes darted to the stain darkening Xander’s pants. She inhaled sharply. “He’s in labor…” she whispered with wide eyes. Angel’s head came up jerkily. He had heard.

“Xander? Ciallan, look at me,” he urged the boy with frantic calm. “I think we need to get you upstairs and into the birthing room,” he said urgently, referring to the room that, with Dr. Stern’s help, they had outfitted to resemble a modern hospital.

“Somebody, go fetch the doctor,” he called over his shoulder as he helped Xander straightened. They regarded each other with dark eyes, pain and sadness evident in both men as Gunn raced off to snag the doctor.

“I guess it’s time…” Xander murmured. He tried to smile, but knew it was a dismal failure.

Cordy stepped forward. “I’ll call Buffy and let her know,” she said without her usual bright smile. Hesitating, she impulsively hugged both men before turning away with tears in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she drew on all the acting skills she had. This was going to be the performance of her life. She looked at Wes and Fred standing awkwardly in the room. Of their lives, she amended silently.


An hour and a half later, a sweaty and exhausted Xander heard the thin wail of a child. He rested, bone tired and hurting in places a man really shouldn’t hurt. And subconsciously, he waited for a second cry. He met Angel’s gaze, tears slipping down his cheeks. A harsh sob escaped him as Angel bowed over him, the vampire’s shoulders shaking. Xander felt cool wetness on his overheated skin and closed his eyes, stroking a trembling hand over his mate’s head. It was the only comfort he could offer in the midst of his own pain.

Buffy rushed giddily about the house, trying to get ready to leave. She kept bumping into Dawn who was equally excited about going to see Xander. She spared a brief fond thought to her little sister. Since that first visit to L.A., and meeting Xander and Angel, it was like Dawn had a new lease on life. No more bad girl running wild like some sort of mini-Faith. Dawn had lost the attitude and became once more the snarky, irritating younger sister. Impulsively, Buffy hugged the startled teen. “I’m so proud of you,” she told the other girl softly. Stroking the soft cheek, still plump and full in adolescent.

“Ewww! Get off…!” Dawn exclaimed, hastily shrugging out of the embrace. She stared at a smiling Buffy with suspicious eyes. “You ain’t gonna be doing that anymore are you?”

“Nope,” said the blonde with cheerful enthusiasm. She pounced on the younger girl, and laid a series of smacking kisses on the furiously protesting girl.

Finally, Dawn managed to get away. “You said you wasn’t gonna do that anymore,” she yelled breathlessly, wiping her face with her shirt.

“And I didn’t,” Buffy pointed out with a grin. “I meant I wasn’t gonna hug you anymore, I didn’t say anything about kissing you!”

“You are sick,” the younger Summers’ girl replied solemnly. “I think you need to get professional help. I’ll talk to Giles and see where’s the worst loonybin I can put you in,” she smirked with malicious glee.

“Ha ha funny girl,” Buffy retorted with a smirk of her own, not realizing the other was perfectly serious. They both turned around at the sound of a car horn. “They’re here! C’mon grab your bag and let’s go!”


Dawn squirmed impatiently in the car, hardly able to contain her excitement. A new body! Especially the baby of a Guardian, what a piece of luck! Her lips twisted in a nasty, malevolent grin. In all these years, why the hell didn’t she ever think about snagging a baby? Probably cause they weren’t as much fun, she snickered to herself. And the best part, they didn’t even suspect.

Feeling soft and relaxed, she allowed thoughts of her previous victims to parade through her mind.

Spike eyed Dawn with cold, dispassionate eyes then looked away.


“They’re here,” Cordy said softly from the door, the happy look fading from her face. Leaving her looking older and grim.

Fred was still downstairs, being quiet and shy, and carefully not saying a damn thing.

“Gunn? Jahna?” Angel said quietly, looking at the two with desperate eyes.

“Do not worry, we will not leave Lord Xander alone,” the demoness stated, her face terrifyingly remote.

Hearing the voices downstairs, and with one look at Xander’s suddenly unreadable face, then the two bundles lying next to his mate, Angel left the hotel bedroom. A sappy, yet proud smile on his face, he headed downstairs to greet Giles and the others.

“Angel!” Buffy whirled around with an eager smile. “When can we see ‘em?” She was near bouncing with excitement. As was Tara, Anya and Dawn. Giles struggled manfully to control his impatience but Angel could see the quivering tension in the man’s eyes. In Spike’s eyes there was nothing but a cold watchful stillness.

“They’re sleeping right now,” he said quietly. “Tomorrow morning you can visit,” he added in response to their disappointed looks.

“What if we promise not to say a word? Please…” Buffy begged, gazing at him with soulful eyes.

“Buffy…!” Giles exclaimed. “Xander has been through an undoubtedly rough birthing and I’m quite sure he’s quite fatigued. Any man would be, and why am I sounding like it is a natural occurrence?” He said sounding befuddled and annoyed.

Angel laughed. “I have rooms ready for you. Let me show you to them. Fred, if you could lock up?”

She nodded silently. Her eyes watchful of the Sunnydale people. Anya, meeting her gaze, suddenly shivered. She felt like a bunny was sitting on her head. It was an uneasy feeling that had been growing in her for months suddenly bloomed. Her eyes narrowed on the thin girl. Something was horribly wrong.

Tomorrow morning, she would talk to both Giles and Buffy about her suspicion. She brightened; maybe she should call a group meeting. Buffy and Giles weren’t the only ones that could do it!


In the still of the night, as the inhabitants of the hotel lay sleeping, a sleep dark shape slipped quietly through the halls. The Shadow Queen froze when she peered around a corner. A vicious oath quickly suppressed behind her flattened lips at the sight of the imposing demons standing guard outside what she presumed was that fool Guardian’s door.

She thought carefully for a few moments, her eyes narrowing with cold calculation. Clearing, she smiled cruelly and headed back the way she came. She could wait; they would be here for a week. She would find a way into the room. Perhaps she should visit the others? With a bounce in her step, the dark creature strolled away.

Slowly Angel and Xander relaxed as they lay in bed. Each sensing the subtle change in air as the miasma of evil seemed to recede. Abruptly, holding his mouth, Xander jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom with Angel right behind him.

After rinsing his mouth, the young Guardian looked at his Defender. The pain in Angel’s eyes more than likely equaling his own.

Simultaneously, they reached for each other, holding on tightly. Desperately. Sharing and receiving comfort, support in this time of need and sorrow.

It had begun.

When their room rippled, Cordy, Fred, Gunn and Ethan’s eyes snapped open. The Sunnydalers slept on, not noticing anything different. Wes was resting fitfully in the castle, safe from the evil and surrounded by a host of Warriors as an added precaution. By the extra precaution that Casiwe just took, they knew darkness roamed the hotel.

In their individual rooms, the women’s eyes dripped with slow tears. Ethan’s eyes were hard and tight yet there was a terrible grief etched on his face. The huge cats padded into their rooms, studied the humans then jumped into the bed to lie beside them.

Gunn turned into the furry muscular body. His shoulders shook convulsively, but other than the soft purr from the cat, no other sound disturbed the room.


Bright and early, Buffy bubbled with cheerful goodwill. Remembering last time, she tried the door and to her happy surprise, it opened. Bouncing out the room, she headed straight to Angel and Xander’s room. Grinning cheerfully at the stone faced guards; she politely asked if the two men were up yet.

She was determined to be the first one to see the baby.

Silently, one of the guards opened the door and Buffy walked in. Glaring at the sight of Giles already there.

“Buffy…” the man breathed, a look of wonder on his face. “Twins…”

“Omigawd, two!” she squealed and darted over. “Can I hold the baby?”

“And a good morning to you, too Buffy,” Xander said with clear amusement dancing in his eyes. She spared a glance at him, vaguely noting the lines of tiredness on his face and weary pain in his eyes. Her attention immediately returned to the baby at the tiny squeak.

“Oh yeah, hi, Xander,” she replied absently, her eyes intent on the baby that Giles held. The older man was clearly reluctant to part with the tiny infant. “What’s their names?” she asked softly.

“Our daughter’s name is Aisling Mada Aoife,” Xander said, gesturing to the crib. “Giles is holding Shay Aoife Eodoin,” he finished softly.

“Giles, let me hold the baby now,” Buffy demanded. When the older man didn’t move other than to clutch the baby tighter, she stared at him. “Gimme the baby.”

But the ex-Watcher wasn’t in the least intimidated by her stare. Giving his own deadly glare at his young blonde friend, he said pointedly. “There ARE two, you know,” gesturing with his chin to the other bundle lying in the crib next to the bed.

“But I wanna hold the one you got,” Buffy whined insistently, mutely begging with her extended arms.

“No…I had him first! You get the other one.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open at the childishness in Giles voice. Her eyes narrowed and she stomped her foot. “Give me the baby! You had him long enough!” When he ignored her she whirled around to Xander who was looking bewilderedly at the squabbling pair.

“Xander…” she pouted and giving him her biggest, saddest eyes. “Make him give me the baby. I wanna hold the baby, noooooow!”

Angel, having stepped into the bedroom with two baby bottles, was watching in astonishment as Buffy and Giles descended into infantile behavior. He exchanged wide-eyed looks with Xander. They didn’t know what to do.

Buffy, sensing someone behind her, whirled around. Her eyes lit up. Angel took a step back, alarmed at the look in her eyes. The blonde Slayer ran to him…and snatched a bottle out of his hand. Dancing back to Giles, she waved it triumphantly in the air. “Now, give me the baby so I can feed him.”

Giles growled, his eyes narrowing with anger. Moving faster than she expected, he snatched the bottle away from her, and calmly inserted it into the baby’s mouth.

“I hate you…” Buffy breathed to the man.

Angel sidled into the room, carefully sitting on the bed with Xander. Entranced, they regarded the bickering duo.

Darting her a smirk, Giles looked down at the baby in his arms. His heart melting at the vague unfocused look in the dark blue eyes. “Aw…does the Buffy hates her Giles? No, she doesn’t…she just a little baby just like you…yes, she is…she’s just a little whiny baby, yes, she is. And if she doesn’t pick up the other baby, Anya, Tara, Dawn and Spike will be here shortly and she won’t get to hold any baby,” he cooed, unconsciously descending into babytalk.

Buffy looked aghast at that idea and ran to grab the other child. She was just in time as the door opened again and the other four, arguing furiously about who was first, peered inside. All looking angry and jealous at the sight of a smug looking Buffy and Giles. Each with a child in their arms.


Over the next three days, no matter how early or late the Shadow Queen went upstairs, someone was always with the babies. All she needed was five or ten lousy stinking minutes alone with one of the little creatures and she could sit back and relax. Of course she would have to kill Dawn just before she left the girl’s body. Naturally she couldn’t have the little bitch running around and telling everyone what was going on, now could she?

Finally, her opportunity came before she betrayed herself in an act of frustrated rage.

Sliding through the hotel, herself a mere shadow, the possessed form of Dawn glided easily through the hotel. Her pale lips curved upwards in a smile so malevolent that even the subdued light in the hallway seemed to bend away from her. As she passed under a dimly lit wall sconce, its light flickered erratically. Flickering madly, faltering before finally, with a faint sigh, it gave out. And its surrender seemed to set off a chain reaction in the hall. Light after light shivered, then went out with a muffled tinkling sound of broken glass. Leaving the hall swathed in shifting shadows.

Cocking her head, she listened intently to the joyful sounds going on below. Relaxing subtly at the hearty burst of laughter from the lobby.

Downstairs, Xander’s mouth tightened for a brief instant and a shadow seemed to flow over his face. Then with a determined effort, he smiled exuberantly, sharing his goodwill. Angel’s eyes glowed softly. The brown coloration fading slightly to a warm dark amber.

The Shadow Queen’s eyes were malicious as she hesitated in the corridor that housed Angel and Xander’s rooms. That foolish boy and equally ridiculous mate of his had left their precious little girl unguarded. A thorough study of the wards around the room led her to the belief that it would require little to undo them. She recognized the dark mage’s signature in the magic that swirled about the room. A few moments and they would be undone. And how does that human saying go? Ah yes, ‘a fool and his treasure are soon parted’, she misquoted with malicious cheer. Their loss will be my gain.

A sharp vicious smile spread across her face at the sight of the two massive guards. Slowly she licked her lips, a heavy feeling of lust growing in her belly. Perhaps she might tally with these? But no, a bit of blood always whetted her appetite for more. First things first. Inhume the child, then nothing would be able to keep her from the keeps of those annoying, interfering Guardians. She would be a Shardt. And who knew, if she managed it, perhaps she could even become a Guardian? Now, wouldn’t that be perfect? She nearly laughed aloud at her fanciful imaginings.

Stepping around the corner, she strolled down the hallway with her hands behind her. Slender digits weaved the shadowy darkness behind her, shaping two dark blades. She wasn’t nearly at her full strength, but there were some powers that she possessed that came easily to her no matter how weak she was.

The two males watched the slight young human with studied blank gazes. There was no alarm or trepidation in their eyes. Competition for this assignment was as fierce and tough as when they first decided to become a Warrior for the Guardian of the West. They had beat out over forty of their Brothers and Sisters to win. And those were just the ones that had made the final cut.

When the four Defenders had explained what would happen and requested volunteers, only the young Guardian had seemed…well, shocked at the amount of people that had stridently clamored to be the ones chosen for what was a suicide assignment. North, East, South and West and fought fiercely with each other to be the two chosen. Well over 100 males and females had competed to be one of the two individuals.

This was an opportunity to ultimately die with honor, fighting against the Darkness that would befall this place they called home. Yet despite themselves, they tensed as the slight young girlchild walked past them.

The two males let out a startled shout when a shadow, reeking of evil sped towards their faces. Distracted in that brief instant, they didn’t see the human spin around. Didn’t even feel the blades sinking into their chests.

But they both saw the girl, staring at them with a voracious, cruel smile on her face. Raising leaden arms, they tried to bat her away. Grunting when she gave a vicious twist with her knives, pain exploding throughout their bodies. They could feel a rotting darkness overtaking their bodies. Bewildered, one of the males looked down, horror twisting his face. Where the black knives entered them, a clearly visible stain of corruption was spreading rapidly across their torso.

The Shadow Queen smirked when the guards sank to their knees. Removing the knives, she plunged them into the middle of their foreheads. Quivering with almost orgasmic delight as the light went out in their eyes, and a creeping blackness spread downward, meeting the other encroaching darkness.

Touching one with just her fingertip, she laughed softly as the demon’s head crumbled into dust. “They just don’t make ‘em like they used to,” she exclaimed with mock indignation. “Oh well…” With a sweep of her hand, the other guard’s head exploded in a shower of chalky black dust.

Downstairs, Xander’s head jerked up, startling Buffy who was holding Shay and recalling one of their funnier opponents, the Fear Demon. She was recounting just how tall it was when Xander jumped up.

“It’s time…” he said cryptically and ran for the stairs. To her astonishment, Kaori snatched Shay from her and vanished into thin air. Everyone else raced off after Xander. Blinking, she hesitated a moment before she dart after them. She was followed by Giles, Anya, Spike and Tara. She was briefly puzzled as to where Dawn was, thinking that using the bathroom was taking her sister an awful long time. And for that matter, where the hell was Wes? Sick was one thing, but the man was being downright rude. Then thought of the babies and understood.

In the castle, Wesley’s eyes were strained. He breathed shallowly until Chalo stroked his brow gently. “Just hold on…” she whispered urgently.

Joining her hand to his, she gripped him firmly. On Wesley’s other side, Xtchaly slid his hand into the human’s, even as Seecha joined her hand to his, then to Chalo.

They bowed their heads, a soft glow forming about their bodies. Lines of great tension were evident in their forms. But they held on, restraining the human from unleashing the vast reservoir of power within him. It wasn’t time.


The Shadow Queen bent over the crib, and gently withdrew the sleeping, silent child. Walking with extreme care to the bed, she settled on it. Enough observation had shown her that if Shay so much as whimpered, much less cried, somehow Angel and Xander, even if they were downstairs, heard and came running. “Isn’t that just like a male, always having to be so vocal,” she whispered to the baby. “They just don’t appreciate the art of being quiet, the subtlety of being sly and still. Maybe they think the louder they crow, the more attention they get? But we females know, that much can be accomplished without the spotlight on us. And by the time these stupid males figure things out, it’ll be too late.” And she smiled coldly down at the baby. “Much too late.”

Fortunately, this little downy chick was always so quiet, which made things so much easier for her.

Laying the child on the bed, she parted the rosebud lips. Leaning over the baby, she opened her mouth and sealed it over the child, exhaling her essence into the tiny infant.

The door burst open, light flaring in the room.

Buffy froze, when Dawn rolled her eyes up at them. She shuddered at the vicious, evil evident in her sister’s eyes. “What…” she stuttered out.

“Get away from her, you fucking bitch!” Xander yelled, calling his crystal sword to his hand. But the Queen was ready. She had prepared a little…surprise for them just in case someone walked in at an inopportune time. Without releasing her grip on the child, she gestured.

“Fuck…!” Cordy jumped back, narrowly escaping a swooping wraith-like shadow that suddenly appeared in the room. There were dozens of the things. Another one came at her again and she ducked. She hissed, clutching at her arm. A thin red line slowly oozed blood. “Oh, no you did not!” A short crystal knife was spinning in her hand.

Angel and Xander separated, dodging left and right as Gunn gave Buffy a shining crystal knife. “See a shadow, stab it,” he briefly instructed her before suiting actions to words and plunging his knife into one of the flying things. Hissing at the bone-chilling coldness that washed over his extended arm, paralyzing it and incidentally holding him in place.

“Like this, you mean?” And Buffy showed him the moves that made her what she was: Slayer of demon and all creatures unclean. Ignoring the coldness, she called on everything that made her who she was. Easily vaulting over Gunn, she slammed her foot into the creature’s sharp-toothed grinning mouth.

“Next…?” She had a dangerous smile on her face. As spatially aware of everyone around her as ever before. The old feeling of unitedness, fighting along side, Spike, Xander, Giles, Anya and Tara snapped into place. She was aware of them as much as she was aware of her arms and legs. She didn’t have to see them to know what they were doing.

Lakti hurled a crystal knife, nailing one of the shadows that circled the ceiling. Vanquishing it, and with great rapidity he began throwing one knife after another. His aim unerring.

Lexi thrust knives at Giles, Anya, Spike and Tara, yelling at them to kill the shadows. However she could have saved her breath. With her mask down, they could finally sense the malevolent evil emanating from the young girl they thought they knew. They could FEEL it. And with the proper tools, they certainly knew how to handle it.

There was a ring of shadow, knee high surrounding the bed. Angel came to a desperate halt a foot before it. Studying it with anxious eyes before darting a look at the Shadow Queen’s hateful amused gaze. All his senses, his instincts screamed danger.

“It’s a trap,” he yelled to Xander thrusting out an arm and stopping the boy from going any further. Just in time, a tongue of liquid darkness licked hungrily at them. They jumped backwards, falling to the ground and rolling to avoid a rushing shade.

And the danger increased, as one of the darting, shadowy wraiths, slightly different from the others, drifted to the floor. Its mouth opened and piercing scream poured from its’ gaping mouth. Disorienting the senses and doing a credible job of scrambling the humans and vampires’ minds.

Clapping their hands to ears at the agonizing sound, the humans and vampires huddled on the floor. They were easy prey to the darting shadows that swooped closer to their crouching bodies.

Or would have been except for Cordelia and the catlike partners of the warriors that sprang into the room. A grim smile crossed the Seer’s face. Her eyes burned with a crystal-like bright whiteness, as she whirled. With the cats running interference for her and protecting the others, she headed straight for the stationery wraith. With a wild scream of her own, her body glowing with her own demonic white light, she plunged her knife arm into the creature’s chest. Holding it there, channeling everything she had into her power.

And her light grew stronger, brighter, searing to the eyes. She was like a miniature sun, impossibly bright, gloriously radiant and pure. She lit up the room in a soft explosion of light, banishing the wraiths, driving back the darkness. Leaving behind an awful quiet. She collapsed to the floor, drained to the point of unconsciousness.

//Up in the castle, the three demons flung back their heads as Wesley arched on the bed. Their eyes were blazing with incandescent light. “NOW…” they/he roared, and flooded Ethan with the stored power. And he PULLED.//

Sparing her a brief glance, Xander and Angel rolled to their feet and hurried to the bed. Coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of the Shadow Queen glaring at them from Dawn’s eyes.

Slowly they smiled through their pain. And smiled at the panic and bone-deep fear in her eyes. “Do you think we were that clueless not to suspect you were still here?” Angel said softly, his eyes cold and remote.

Buffy got to her feet in puzzlement. “What…? You knew, but didn’t say anything? Especially to me?” her voice rose in astonishment.

“You couldn’t have done anything,” Xander said quietly without taking his eyes away from two bodies on the bed. “The most you could have done was kill Dawn. I didn’t want to lose anybody else.”

“But Aisling…she’s taking your baby,” Giles husked out, accepting a hand that Spike offered.

“Not…quite,” Xander replied huskily, slow tears making their way down his face. He leaned gratefully into Angel’s proffered embrace.

Angel cleared his throat, feeling tears thicken in his throat. His eyes were fixed unblinking on the spreading terror on the Shadow Queen’s face; he didn’t want to see the sympathy in their eyes. This was hard enough.

“Xander and I…we were asked what we would be willing to sacrifice to banish her. We had nothing to offer but ourselves, but the Powers That Be didn’t want that. Our lives, that is. They wanted something that we would have died to keep safe. Something much more precious to us than our lives.” A muscle jumped in his furiously clenched jaw. He took a deep, shuddering breath, struggling for control. “It…it…was a small price to pay against the lives that she would take if we couldn’t stop her. This way, there’s no escaping from this body.”

Anya’s mouth opened and closed several times. “Wh…wha…what did you do?”

“Nothing…Aisling was a stillbirth. She never drew breath. Wesley’s magic gave her a semblance of animation, of life. But she’s been dead since my eighth month of pregnancy. She was the price that the Powers requested,” Xander said jerkily.

All Buffy and Giles could do was gaze in horror at him and Angel.

Dawn’s body went limp and slid off the baby’s corpse. Her chest rising and falling fitfully. Carefully the two men moved forward and separated the girl from the body of their daughter.

“Do you know what her name meant? Aisling Mada Aoife,” Xander said softly, drawing out the names gently. He picked up the tiny bundle, gazing down into the Shadow Queen’s furious and terrified eyes. “Aisling means ‘a vision or a dream; Mada means ‘the end of the path’ while Aoife means ‘life’. We kinda thought it fitting. And we figured that she might have wanted to be the deciding factor in banishing the Shadow Queen.” He looked up at them, his face grave and wet with tears.

“It’s a family thing, ya know? Being a hero and stuff,” he tried to smile.

Ethan walked stiltedly into the room, his face white and strained with the tremendous surge of power coursing through him. He was almost shaking with the force of the energy and could barely talk. But his eyes spoke loud and clear.

Gunn grabbed Cordy from the floor, and urged everyone back from the center of the room as creaking almost wailing sound thrummed through the room.

The floor began flexing and bending like taffy. Then it began swirling in a dizzying pattern, and a rush of wind sucked at them. They backed further away.

“What’s happening?!” Tara screamed, holding on to Spike with desperate hands. Like an iris, the floor opened. And the wind stopped, bringing a deathly silence.

“Omigawd…” Anya breathed gazing into the Abyss. She darted a horrified look at Ethan’s straining face. “Have you gone completely insane?!” she screamed at him as the circle began to widen visibly.

“It’s the only way…” Angel stated softly. Tenderly he stroked his daughter’s cheek. Briefly wondering what she would have looked like as a young woman. With sorrow in his heart, he carefully put the emotion behind him. Locking it away.

“Hurry…” Ethan gasped, his eyes wide and stark in his face. He trembled as with a fever.

With one last burning look, to brand her face ineligibly into his mind Xander let their daughter go.

Forming a link of hands, with Gunn providing the anchor the young man dropped his daughter into the Abyss. Faintly, it seemed as if they could hear the Shadow Queen’s terrified scream as she fell.

There was no escape from the Abyss. Much like space’s black holes, once in, there was no way out.

Groaning with effort, his nose dripping blood, Ethan, with a massive grunt of effort closed the portal. With a faint zip of sound, the opening closed.

Sealed.

The mage collapsed, gasping to the ground. Giles, letting out a short cry, hurried to the downed man. And when Ethan raised his head, a white shock of hair at his temples was astonishingly bright against the rest of his black hair.

Fred, with a glance at Angel and Xander’s motionless figures, quietly urged everyone out. Spike scooped Dawn in his arms and headed out. He gave Xander a look of regret and silently stepped out.

Shutting the door, Buffy saw Xander fall into Angel’s arms. The others milled around outside for a few seconds, their eyes wet with tears at the muffled crying coming from within the room.

The elevator dinged softly and the doors opened. Kaori, along with Wes stepped out. The Guardian looked immeasurably tired and grieved. The tiny bundle in her arms was wailing loud enough to wake the dead.

Buffy stopped the woman when Ka put her hand on the doorknob. “I think…I think maybe they want to be alone,” she said apologetically.

“True, but Shay will remind them that their sacrifice was not in vain, and they still have one child that needs them very much,” the Japanese woman replied softly with sad eyes. “He will give them comfort during this time of pain. The Powers That Be can be a harsh taskmaster, but they are not cruel.”


The next morning, the hotel was quiet as everyone went through the motion of everyday life. Frequent glances were cast upstairs, as if they expected to see Xander or Angel coming down the stairs. But as the morning waned, with no appearance of either men, their hopes diminished. There was an air of oppressive sadness overlaying the hotel. Even the kittens drooped, refusing to be comforted by ice cream.


Late that night, Buffy wandered into the kitchen. She gaped at the sight of Xander rummaging through the cabinets, a pile of Twinkies and Ho-Hos on the table behind him.

“Xander…!”

Yelping in surprise, the young man whirled around clutching at his heart. “Don’t DO THAT!” he snapped. “You wanna give me a heart attack?!”

“Uhm, I…I…kinda thought you were supposed to be all immortal,” she stammered meekly.

“That’s no excuse for sneaking up on people,” he said firmly, turning back to his raid for sugary goodness. But his back was tense beneath his robe. He was in a particular hurry to return back upstairs. Both he and Angel were now in the castle and he had left his mate and child sleeping in the bed. Both father and son had cried themselves to sleep. Xander smiled wryly, feeling almost proud to be the one that had to be strong right now. Angel had given him so much over the last nine months, he could wait.

Buffy fidgeted silently. Then crossing to him, she helped him gather junk food. “Any particular reason why you have to raid the hotel kitchen?” she asked idly, as if that was the only thing on her mind. Out the corner of her eye, she watched him relax.

“Yeah, Casiwe won’t keep this kinda stuff upstairs for me. Angel’s orders,” he said in an aside.

“Oh,” Buffy said. She located an empty plastic bag and helped him load up his goody-bag.

They stood still and silent, simply regarding each other. A vast gulf of pain between them, almost insurmountable.

Simultaneously they reached, falling into each other’s arms. Scorching hot tears running unchecked down their faces, harsh ragged sobs shaking their bodies.

Then another pair of arms were around them. Recognizing the comforting warmth of Giles, they wailed louder, burrowing into his strong support. Another, and another arms came about them. Until the kitchen was a grieving pile of friends.

“I’m so sorry!” Buffy cried. Her slender body was racked with a paroxysm of grief and pain. This was the first that she allowed herself to truly let go, to grieve for the lost young red-headed friend. Her second sister. And for this to happen…

“I’m sorry too…” Xander managed to choke out. Slowly he eased away feeling a presence at his back. He knew, without looking, that it was Angel cradling him. How and when he didn’t know, but he knew Angel was holding him. Supporting him.

Twisting around, he peered at his mate. Searching the clear though reddened eyes for signs of imminent collapse, he leaned subtly against Angel, offering his strength. At the faint smile he saw in Angel’s eyes, he felt they would be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow, or even next week. But someday the pain would ease.

Feeling an increased tension in the cool body behind him, he turned back around, stilling when he met Spike’s blank, watchful gaze. His eyes drifted over to Gunn and Wes, and he watched the two musingly. Then to Ethan and Giles, easily reading the wary, yet longing looks they exchanged, the burgeoning emotion the two older men expressed with their eyes. And slowly Xander exhaled, struggling to let go of the past.

He leaned more comfortably against Angel, closing his eyes.

Buffy smiled, looking at the two men. She met Cordy’s soft gaze and nodded before returning her gaze to Xander and Angel.

Not love, but something very close to it.