True Faith

Okay, I know I promised this for yesterday, but I for one haven't slept since then, so whatever.


*


Faith found her way around the city better than Buffy could, even using her map, which was completely unfair. Before long, though, Buffy had tossed the map in her bag and forgot about it, content to let Faith lead the way. Navigation was the last thing on her mind.

Despite what she'd said to Faith about her Slayer dream, Buffy found--somewhat to her surprise--that the thought of dying again was just unpleasant. No matter how many prophecies she'd defeated over the years, there was always one more coming down the pipeline to bite her in the ass. For one glorious, shining moment, standing with the Scoobies in front of Sunnydale's remains, she thought she had cheated death for the last time.

And now here she was, dodging her own mortality again. The fact that there were no recorded Slayers older than twenty-five had never bothered her before--it seemed like such a distant time that she could ignore it. But now the reality of it came crashing down on her head. She was twenty-two and a half years old. Two and a half years more and she'd be setting dangerous records.

It wasn't enough.

There was so much she hadn't done, hadn't seen...so much she still wished for. Buffy glanced sideways at Faith. They were walking down a path beside a river, through a misty forest. She could hear the ocean ahead of them, and the air tasted of salt. Faith seemed lost in her thoughts, hands jammed in her jean jacket pockets, watching the geese on the banks.

Was she thinking about what Buffy had said?

A day to do anything. A day just for them. Buffy wondered what Faith thought of the implication--because surely, whatever else was different about Faith, she hadn't missed the implication.

Live life to the hilt. Do what feels good. Leave a pretty corpse.

If Buffy had a deadline--she winced at the unintentional pun--then maybe it was time to throw caution to the wind.

Maybe she could finally say something--do something--

"How are you doing, B?" Faith asked, then smiled self-consciously. The name 'B' wasn't exactly rolling off her tongue these days. Were they both growing up so much that Faith was willing to leave the nickname behind?

Buffy sighed. God, she was being morbid. She wanted to go back in time, to that point before they--or, well, she--had messed everything up. "I'm five by five, F," she said, enjoying the saying she hadn't heard in so long.

Faith laughed and looked at her curiously. "You don't say."

Buffy shook her head, amused. "What, you don't want to share your little catch phrase? I swear, someday you're going to let it slip what it means and then we'll see who's down with the hip street lingo the kids are talking these days."

"I'll tell you," Faith offered. They had left the path behind, heading over to the low parapet that separated the park from the beach. Faith turned around and leaned on the sea wall, then jumped up and sat on it, kicking her heels against the stone.

Buffy crossed her arms and rested her elbows on the wall, turned slightly so that she faced Faith but she could also see the ocean. "I think you made it up."

Faith shook her head and grinned a secret smile. "Don't believe me? I'm all wounded and stuff."

"Fine, fine, I'm all ears. What does it mean?"

"It's a code that radio operators use--EMRs and EMTs, paramedics, police, everyone." Faith glanced down at her to see what effect this was having. "See, the first number is volume, the second is clarity--so if your radio is quiet and crackly, you say, one by one, or two by three, or whatever. If everything's coming in loud and clear then that's five by five."

Buffy let her head fall back and gazed up at Faith. "You're kidding. It means something? And the something makes sense, in a weird way? Where did you learn that?"

"Hey, I'm not just another pretty face," Faith teased. "I'm a Knowledge Girl." She chuckled, almost to herself, and leaned back further, hanging over the empty space, extending her legs for balance.

"Yeah?" Buffy quirked an eyebrow at her. "You think you qualify? What else do you know?"

"I know...that you've been thinking about people dying before their time," Faith said. Suddenly serious, she sat up straight again. "You aren't going to die, Buffy."

Buffy looked away. "This time. Maybe." She watched the clouds flowing in from the horizon, darkening the skies. She shivered a bit. There was always something out there, something you didn't expect. There was always a stronger vampire. It had been like that for Mom--she'd beaten the brain tumour, she'd recovered from the operation, she was doing well--and then the aneurysm had hit her, out of nre, re, like lightning.

And now she was buried, along with the First, in a forgotten town. The lie--an earthquake--had been all too easy to come up with. Buffy blinked back tears and folded her arms against the suddenly sharp wind. She'd never be able to go back--Mom was really, truly gone, now...

Faith slipped down from her seat on the wall and wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind, resting her chin on Buffy's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she murmured, her lips pressed close to Buffy's ear. Buffy closed her eyes and leaned back into the hug. Her throat was a tight ball of pain. She clasped her hands over Faith's, resting on her stomach, and held them there, suspended from time.

In front of them, the ocean seemed endless. Buffy let her tears flow, feeling safer than she had for years, as safe as she had been before Angel had lost his soul. Like nothing in the world could get through Faith's arms. Warm. Protected.

Loved?

Buffy turned her head, eyes still closed, and let her lips brush against Faith's.

Faith's hold tightened on her, and for an instant Buffy was sure she would turn away. But then Faith's mouth met hers again, slowly, lightly. Buffy turned around in her arms. Fear and desire shone in Faith's eyes. Deliberately, Buffy kissed her again, more firmly this time, their breaths mingling. A deep thrill that came from finally acting, finally doing, spun through her, and her heart raced.

"Buffy..." There was hesitation in Faith's manner...not at all like her...but Buffy let the kiss carry her doubts away.

She wanted this.

"Shh..." She smiled up at Faith. "It's my vacation."

And she held Faith's hand as she led the way to her hotel.

*

Da da dum!