Surprises

Disclaimer - see part one


Forgive my spelling errors. I can't figure out why I don't catch them. Thanks for the feedback.

Part 11
Faith laid down on the chair, one knee propped, staring out at the ocean. She had purchased some fruity concoction from the beach waiter. Who's a waiter on a beach? She thought. What a prime job, if you are aspiring to be a waiter. Hot chicks in bikinis getting drunk. She couldn't see a downside.

Buffy had huffed and puffed for a few minutes before turning away from Faith, and then, from what she could discern, had fallen asleep. Faith let her sleep for a while, sipping her drink and observing the scene. Xander and Willow were still talking, not that that surprised Faith, those two seemed to always be talking. She watched a little girl, kicking up sand beside her. She was bouncing around, and she smiled at Faith. Faith noticed how adorable she was, and said, "hi."

The little girl smiled again, and walked off. Running to play in the ocean with her mother. Faith turned to Buffy, decided she had slept enough, and shoved her a little, "Wake up, B."

Buffy brushed off her hand, and turned on her stomach.

Faith moved out of her chair and knelt down beside her, "B, wake up," she said whispering in her ear.

Buffy turned over, eyes half shut, "Go away," she told the girl huddled over her.

Faith sat down on the chair with her, forcing Buffy to turn over on her side. She propped hert upt up, smiling down at the girl who was lying beside her, "look around B. Beautiful day, sun's out, water's warm," she turned and looked at the ocean for a second, "I guess, ...anyway, more importantly, I look really fucking hot in this suit. I mean check me out."

Buffy groaned and shoved Faith, "go get in your chair. You're hogging all the room."

"I don't know, I'm kinda comfy," she said stretching,. Buffy moaned, "oh, okay, I'll get up," Buffy turned back over and Faith bent down, "if you stay awake."

Buffy propped her chair and turned over, "Whatever Faith."

Faith waited a few moments propping her chair as well. She followed Buffy's eyesight to the ocean, "So B," she said, not looking at her, "what about the little road trip?"

"Huh?'

"Why'd you come down here? Cause I'm just wondering what does it take to just pack up and leave, when you have a job to do?"

Buffy turned and looked at her, "You have got to be kidding me? What does it take for someone to pack up and leave?"

Faith never turned to look at the girl, "Well for me, it takes someone telling me to leave. Right after I basically pour my heart out to them. They say, 'get the fuck out" she sighed, "that's what it takes for me to pack up and go. I'm wondering, is that what it takes for you? Someone telling you they don't love you?" Faith asked her, refusing to meet her in the eyes.

"I never said that," Buffy whispered.

"You didn't have to," Faith said, still looking out at the water, "I'm not stupid."

"That's debatable." Buffy said,

"Fuck you, blondie,' Faith breathed.

"Ok, Ok, you're not stupid," Buffy said, holding up her hand, "and since we agr agree on that, maybe you can explain to my why you're here."

Faith took a deep breath, "You called me B." Buffy sighed, but Faith continued, "You did. You may not remember it. May not know why you did it. But you," she pointed to Buffy, and back to herself, "called me. Frankly, I don't know why either. But you don't really see the difference. To you it's about why. But that's not it to me. I gave up on the 'why.' I fucking know anyway. Maybe not why you called, but I know why I'm here. So don't sit here and play stupid. Cause you know why as well. And the 'why' doesn't matter. You're just deflecting."

Buffy just stared at her, "Deflecting. What the hell does that mean? I'm just deflecting. Deflecting from what?'

"You don't want me to know." Faith replied. "What are you afraid of Buffy, that I'll actually help you?"

"See, there's our problem." Buffy said.

"What?'

"You think I need help. And you think I believe that too. But I don't. I don't need your help, Willow's help, Dawn's help, or anyone else's help. I'm fine. I want to have fun. What the fuck is wrong with that? I can't figure out when everyone around here started thinking that I had a problem. If I have this 'problem' you all believe I have, than please define it for me. Tell me what exactly it is that you think I need to fix."

Faith was calm. It takes a lot for me to stay calm, she told herself. Just don't look at her. That's simple. Cause if I look at her, she thought, I'm likely to knock her ass out. She took a deep breath, "Alright B. You want me to define your problem for you? Fine. We'll go there. You're selfish. You're self-centered. You're scared. And you are using all this partying," she waved her arm gesturing to the beach, "as a way to get rid of, hide, or forget this problem. See, I think you feel like you lost a lot. After the First, when every other girl with a brain was called, there was no longer a chosen one. Or chosen two. But I filled the role of bad girl. So you could tolerate me." Buffy looked at her, but Faith went on, "No, you asked, so listen. I was there to remind you that you were better. Hey," she said holding her hand up, "I'm cool with that. Buat sat special feeling of being chosen, it's gone isn't it? Your one of hundreds. And you're hiding. Trying to get away from the feeling of worthlessness you have all of a sudden acquired."

Faith had stopped talking, and continued to stare at the ocean. She didn't want to look at the blond. She wasn't sure how she would react. She wasn't even sure if she was right.

Buffy sat up and hugged her knees, "See that little girl over there Faith," she said pointing to the girl Faiad sad smiled at earlier.

"Yeah."

"It's weird, you know? When I was called, they told me, over and over again, they said I wouldn't live into my twenties. That no slayer has lived that long. That sucked. At the time. But I sort of resounded myself to that. I had no choice. All I was doing was slaying, you know? It pretty much got in the way of everything else. I wasn't allowed to want that kind of life. The life with the a future," she said, motioning to the little girl, "That's why I was content with Angel. I mean who in their right mind thought that was going to work?"

Faith broke in, "Well I know I didn't."

"But that's just it. That's what made it safe. I mean who cared, right? But now, now I'm thrust into this regular normal life. And I'm supposed to survive. All of the people, everywhere," she waved her at the people on the beach, "They were the ones entitled to that life, not me. I just knew I was supposed to protect everyone else so they could have that."

"Come on B, there's no normal life. You're telling me you'd be content with the white picket fence fantasy life? I don't think so." Faith shuddered, "It scares the shit of of me," she said lightheartedly.

"That's it Faith," she said, "it scares me too. I don't want that life. I don't want any life. The only way I lived for the past 10 years was survive. Don't die. That was my motto. Now I don't have one."

"And yet here you are killing yourself slowly. Seems to me the motto changed to just die."

Buffy sat back, lying her chair in a full recline, and laying down on her side, "No, my motto now, is just feel. Anything. I just want to feel something. I don't even care what it is anymore," Buffy said.

to be continued