Choices

Chapter Eleven

Buffy didn't realize the effect she was having on Angel by her simple act of hanging onto his arm as they walked to the ice cream parlor together. It made him feel complete, peaceful and proud. He knew that her and Spike shared a special bond, but it was these moments that reminded him that they shared a special bond as well.

"I'm thinking college life seems pretty cool. I was thinking of maybe taking a class during the summer. What do you think Angel?" She asked him as they sat with their sundaes. She took a mouthful of ice cream in her mouth and moaned in delight.

Angel cleared his throat and averted his eyes; it would do no good to show her how arousing the simple act of her eating ice cream was. "I think you should do it. Do you have any idea what you would like to take?"

She shrugged and wrinkled her nose in thought. Then smiled sheepishly and twirled the spoon in her dish. "Well, I was thinking about taking a literature course. I figure Spike could help me with that. And, well, I was thinking of taking an art class. I did a few sketches in high school, but I never showed anyone. Constantly being surrounded it like I was, it was difficult not to take some of that with me. It was hard to not be inspired, you know?"

Angel nodded and smiled. "You know, if you wanted to maybe earn a few extra bucks, I could always use your help at the gallery. It would be a lot of grunt work in the beginning, but once you learned the ropes, found your niche, we could work something out."

"You'd do that? It wouldn't be too weird to have me working with you?"

"Not at all. I'm not thereall all during the day and I know that's when Richard could definitely use an extra set of hands. There's a lot to learn from him. Interested?"

She smiled broadly and held out her hand. "You've got yourself an employee."

He shook her hand and chuckled. "So, what's new Princess? How are you and Spike getting along?"

"Fine I guess. I um, I do kind ove ave a problem. Well, it's not really a problem, more like a question on etiquette I guess you could say.be nbe not even etiquette, but how to handle a situation without hurting someone's feelings--so yeah I guess it would an--"

"Buffy, what is it?" He could tell she was nervous to ask. Rambling and fidgeting the way she was at that moment were clear indications. If he let her, she could go on and on without a rest before finally getting around to the issue at hand.

"I don't know how to tell Xander that I only want to be friends with him," she rushed out and looked at him with a pained expression on her face.

He couldn't imagine why, that was the best news he'd heard in a long while. He'd been wondering about what was going on with The Boy--as Spike referred to him as--but Buffy had made it abundantly clear that the information was off limits. So, he hadn't asked. Part of him was afraid to find out things were going perfectly.

"And you were afraid to ask me this, why?" He asked calmly.

"Because I was afraid you'd tell me that since I was so determined to keep you out of my personal business, that I'd have to take care of my personal business on my own." She told him matter-of-factly.

"When have I ever been able to deny you help?"

"Good point. So, how do I do it? I know Spike would just tell me to tell him to take a hike and that's not what I want at all. I really do like him a lot. Just not in that way. I want to be his friend, but I don't want to crush him. I can kind of tell that he seems to really like me."

"How can you tell?" She hadn't been able to tell his feelings, had she?

She smiled mischievously. "Women's intuition, Angel. No, seriously though. He just stares at me all the time with this sappy look on his face. He's always hanging on everything I say even when it's really not all that interesting. Plus, Willow told me."

"Well, I think you need to be gentle with him. Just be honest and tell him that you love him as a friend and that it's important for you to keep that friendship with him, but you just don't see a relationship. Be your sweet Buffy self and you'll be fine. He'll probably act all macho and ignore you for a while, give you the cold shoulder, but give him some time and I'm sure he'll come around."

She sighed with relief. "Thanks, Angel. I knew I could count on you. You give the best advice. I don't care what Spike says about you, I don't think you're a poof at all. Whatever the hell a poof is anyway."

Angel chuckled. "Thanks, Buffy."

"So how much money am I going to make?"

*********

Her 'break-up' with Xander had gone just as Angel had predicted. He'd been hurt, and tried to cover it up with jokes that held bitterness beneath the surface. He'd walked away from her after telling her they'd talk. She really hoped they would be able to work through ite ree really did want to keep Xander?s friendship. He made her laugh, made her feel like a normal young woman amidst her very un-normal life.

"So, did the whelp give you a hard time when you gave him the boot?" Spike asked later that night as they weaved their way through the local cemetery.

She turned to Spike, hands on her hips. "Spike, honestly. Do you have to be so callous about it? I really do like Xander and he's really a good guy." She shook her head and started to walk away from him. "I shouldn't have told you. Angel would have understood." She muttered and walked away from him.

He caught up with her a moment later and lightly grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry, Buffy."

"No, you're not. You don't care anytime you make fun of me. You don't care if you hurt my feelings, if you intrude on my business, if you tell me what to do--"

"That's not true, Buffy and you know it," he told her, his voice deep and serious.

"Then why do you do it? Huh? Why do you constantly have to be up my ass? Why do you feel like it's your personal obligation to mess with my life?"

"I do not mess with your life--"

"Do NOT give me that crap. Yes, you so do! You don't let any male get within a foot of me and if they do, you either get fangy on them or you make fun of them. You follow me--"

"I did that once!"

"I don't care! Why, Spike? Because of Whistler? He told you to protect me from vampire's. He didn't tell you to intrude on my life!"

His jaw clenched and his hands were balled at his side in fists. Normally, that look would send the message to Buffy to stop, but she didn't care. She was so aggravated with him. Aggravated that everytime she turned around lately, he was there. Mostly, she was frustrated with herself because despite all this, she still had strong feelings for him that just wouldn't go away no matter how annoyed she was with him. She just wanted to get it out, her frustration with him, with herself and hope that she could just scream and rant it out of her system.

"Come on Spike, tell me what else I'm doing wrong with my life! Tell me how you hate the way I dress, how I do my hair, how I talk, how you hate every single little thing I do. There must be something inherently wrong with me if you constantly feel the need to be at my side all the time telling me what I'm doing wrong!"

He walked away from her then.

"Don't walk away from me, William!" She yelled and started for him.

A vampire came at her from behind a tree, charging her and knocked her to the ground, the wind being knocked off her. Damn it! Yet another thing to add to the list of things to be annoyed about.

Spike was on the vampire struggling with Buffy in an instant, ripping it off her and letting out an animalistic growl that seemed to come from his toes. He shoved the vampire to the ground and staked it quickly. Buffy finally managed to get to her feet and was panting as she tried to get air back in her lungs.

Spike turned to her, game face on. His angry yellow eyes bored into her, causing a shiver to run up her spine. She knew he'd never hurt her, but he looked mighty pissed.

He stalked over to her standing close, just a breath away, but not touching her. "Are you all right?" He asked in his gravelly, demon voice.

She nodded. The air shifted around them, there was only one way to describe it. Electricity. It seemed to crackle around them as Spike pinned her with a heated gaze. Buffy stayed rooted where she was, not moving a muscle.

"No, Whistler did not tell me to intrude on your life. He told me to protect the slip of the girl with all the power. The girl that was not a Slayer, that was all alone with just her human mother to protect her. You know what, Buffy? I didn't want to do it at first. Didn't want some little girl brat to invade upon my life. I only agreed to at least see you because of Angel.
Then you know what happened? I saw you, and I saw every little thing about you that I wanted to protect, cherish and adore. You have never been just some girl to me, never been some job to me. You're my everything Buffy."

His face changed back to his human face. "You are my sunshine, my life, the reason I was changed, the reason I was given back a soul. How I spent my life before you came into it, I'll never know. You've burrowed yourself right under my skin, right into my blood, right into my bloody soul.
So, you want to know why I'm 'up your ass' all the time? Why I seem to care so damn much about every single thing you do? Because I love you with all that I am, and I'll be damned if I'll let anyone take you away from me."

Grabbing her upper arms, he pulled her against him and kissed her, hard. His mouth was demanding, claiming and passionate. It displayed every ounce of intense emotion he expressed from his savage staking of the vampire to the impassioned speech he had given her. She felt it all, and it felt overwhelming.

Perfect.

She supposed that's what scared her so much and caused her to push him away.