Losing It

Buffy’s POV

I can’t believe she just walked out on me.

After what just happened, after what she called me….after what I did….

How could she just walk out on me…on us?

I sigh out and slam my hands down on the mattress beside me.

“Damn it Faith!”

I let out a deep breath as I feel the sobs starting to boil up again. All I can do is cover my face with my hands and cry like a little girl. Why do things have to be so…complicated? Why can’t she just wait a little longer? Is it really gonna matter when? I wish I knew. God, I wish I knew.

My inner babble is interrupted by the sound of a light knock on the door. My head jerks up instantly and I watch as the door slowly opens.

“Faith?”

But, it isn’t her. It’s Willow and she looks all worried.

I sigh out and avert my eyes back to the blanket. I hear soft footsteps approaching and then the bed sinks in right in front of me. I feel Will’s gentle hand on my knee and I slowly lift my eyes to meet her soft green gaze. She gives me a sad little smile and nods her head.

“I know. I know.”

I start to cry uncontrollably and I fall into her arms. She holds me and gently rocks me back and forth as I cry into her shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay Buffy. You’ll see. She’ll be back and it’ll all be okay.”

All I can do is cry. How could I let this happen?

“It’s all my fault.”

Willow pulls me away and keeps her hands on my shoulders as she looks me in the eye.

“No, it isn’t. It is not all your fault Buffy. There are two people in this relationship, not one. It takes two people to make a relationship, and two people to break a relationship. It’s not all your fault, but don’t worry, it will work out. I promise.”

Her smile turns a little brighter and I sniffle as I fight back a smile of my own.

I sigh out and stare down at my hands. Willow takes her hands from my shoulders and places them over mine. She gives them a reassuring squeeze, and I look up to face her again.

“She loves you. Never forget that. No matter what she says or does, she loves you and that will never change.”

I squint my eyes and fight back another sob.

“How do you know that Will?”

Willow averts her eyes to our hands and sighs. She runs her finger over the back of my hand and slowly lifts her eyes to mine. She smiles softly.

“It’s one of those things that I just know. Like I know that Kennedy and I are meant to be, so are you and Faith. You love each other with such passion and such fire. It just is because it has to be. Without each other, you would just be two lost souls. Fate, destiny, call it what you want, but…it is meant to be.”

Somehow, Willow always manages to make me feel better about everything. Even if it is the worst time in my life, she always makes me see the silver lining.

I return her soft smile and lean forward pulling her into a hug.

“Thanks Will.”

We pull away and she nods smiling.

“I betcha glad now that you picked me as you’re best friend, huh?”

We share a laugh and I nod.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Willow takes a look around and then brings her eyes back to rest on mine.

I see it instantly. They have that…after-sex glow. I can’t believe this. Willow and Kennedy had sex in my girlfriend’s house. But…there are only two rooms. Where did they…

My eyes grow wide and I nearly choke.

“Willow! You had sex in Faith’s dad’s bed?!”

Her eyes grow wide and I can see her swallow hard. She starts to stutter and babble.

“Well…I-I didn’t me-mean to. I mean, it-it wasn’t a planned thing or anything…it just sort of…of happened. But…I didn’t mean to-to do it in his…his bed. It’s just…Kennedy was so…a-and I was so…so we were so…and it…it was the closest pl-place…so we…and Kennedy was so good…it was soooo good…”

I cover my ears and groan.

“Will…”

She jumps back slightly.

“Sorry! Sorry, Buffy. You probably didn’t need to hear that last part, huh?”

I shake my head with my hands still over my ears. I can still hear her laugh. I look up and remove my hands.

“Not funny, this is so not funny. Faith is gonna kill you.”

Willow instantly stops laughing and I hear her swallow hard again.

“Uh-oh.”

I just nod and smile.

“Yep, you are one dead witch.”

~~

Faith’s POV

Fuck. Double fuck.

How could this happen? How in the *hell* could I let this happen? Is it really that hard to just…kee in in my pants?

I sigh out and shake my head as I stuff my hands in my jacket pockets.

“Fuck. It’s all my fault.”

“No, it isn’t.”

I stop dead in my tracks. How the hell did she find me?

“Not now K. I don’t feel like…talking.”

I hear the leaves crunch under her boots as she approaches me. Her footsteps suddenly stop and I turn to see her hop up onto a headstone. She swings one leg up and props her arm up on it as the other one dangles over the front. She shrugs and sighs.

“Whatever.”

Damn her. How does she always do that? Make me want to talk when I don’t wanna. Must be that inverse psychology shit…or something like that.

I sigh out and hop up onto thadstadstone directly across from her. I dangle my feet over the front and sigh. I fold my hands in my lap and turn my eyes to the sky.

It’s really beautiful tonight. The stars are like extra bright and the moon looks…different.

Buffy always likes to look at the stars. She likes for us to lay on my roof and for me to hold her as we just stare up at the stars in silence. She likes those little sentimental things in our relationship…but me? What do I want out of it?

To fuck.

At least, I bet that’s all she thinks I want out of it.

I sigh out and close my eyes as I bring my head back down. I open them slowly to see Kennedy staring back at me, her face expressionless. Ah…fuck.

“Okay. I’ll tell you.”

I watch as she cracks a grin.

“I knew you would.”

I can’t help but smile. She thinks she’s so fuckin’ cute. Well, she is…but I’d never tell her that. For one, she’s Red’s girl, and it ain’t at the top of my list to be turned into a toad or some shit. Besides…I got all the girl I could ever want or need. At least, I hope I still do.

I sigh out.

“I fucked up bad this time K. She’s gonna hate me forever. She’ll never want to see me again.”

Kennedy scoffs and shakes her head.

“Oh, please. What the fuck? You hit your head or something? There ain’t no way this side of Hell Buffy would ever turn her back on you. She loves your stupid ass too much. Although, I can’t see why. You are such a horny asshole.”

She cracks another grin and I turn my head to the side to try and hide my smile. She chuckles under her breath and I turn my eyes back to face her as the smile fades from my face. She drops her leg and sits up on the headstone, letting out a deep breath. She cracks her knuckles and places her hands in her lap.

“Even though you are a horny asshole, and it’s your fault most of the time, it ain’t all your fault now. But, you shouldn’t have called her a cheap whore. That’s just…fucked up.”

I sigh out and slump my shoulders.

“Yeah, I know. I was just pissed and it just came out. I don’t know wh…”

Wait a fuckin’ minute. How the fuck did she know that?

I lift my eyes and set my jaw.

“How the fuck did you know that? You some peepin’ tom or some fucked up shit like that?”

I don’t know why I’m so pissed. I think it’s a slayer thing, you know, all territorial and shit. No body messes with me…or my girl.

K gets this ‘Uh-oh’ look on her face.

You damn right. You better be scared. You may be my best friend, but that don’t mean I won’t stomp your ass if I have to. I gotta protect what’s mine.

“No! No, Faith. It’s nothing like that. Me and Willow were just laying there and your voices just kinda…echoed. It must be the thin walls.”

Oh. That’s better cause for a minute there I thought she…wait….laying there?

I turn my head to the side and my face contorts in confusion.

“You were just…laying there? Laying…where exactly?”

I can see the panic return to her face. I don’t like where this is going.

I watch as she fidgets with the side of the headstone and swallows hard.

“K? What were you and Willow doing that made you just be ‘laying there’?”

She turns her eyes up to meet mine and smiles nervously.

“Umm…we were in…after-glow mode.”

I nod my head.

“Oh.”

I sit there a moment longer…and then something else dawns on me. The guestroom is down stairs and the only other room upstairs that’s close enough for them to hear us is…

My eyes go wide and I look up to meet hers.

“My dad’s room! You had sex with your girlfriend in my dad’s bed room?! In his bed?!”

Ah, fuck. The grossness factor on this one is way off the fuckin’ charts.

I let out a disgusted groan and shake my head to rid it of the mental images.

I hear K’s voice break through my trance.

“You ain’t mad Faith?”

I look up and shake my head.

“Hell no. Just…fuck! That’s disgusting!”

I stare to shake again and jump from the headstone.

“Ughh…that’s so…fucked.”

I hear K sigh out and start chuckling. I look up to meet her eyes as she jumps down from the headstone and walk over to me. She slaps me on the shoulder and smiles.

“Maybe…but so was I.”

I shake my head again and groan.

“Please…don’t rub it in.”

She chuckles as she slips her hands in the pockets of her jeans and looks straight ahead into the darkness for a moment. She sighs out and turns back to face me.

“I think it’s time you go home now. Someone’s waitn’ for ya.”

I nod my head absently.

“Well, what about you?”

She smiles.

“I got someone waitin’ for me too, and something tells me I’m gonna get lucky again tonight.”

I groan out and shake my head as I start to walk away.

K chuckles and walks behind me a half a step back.

“Hmm…maybe we can do it in your bed this time. I’m sure those cold sheets could use a little warmin’ up.”

I stop and turn to face her. She stops dead in her tracks and waits to see if that was too much.

I just smirk and lean in to whisper to her.

“If everything works out like I hope it does, after this weekend…me and Buffy will be giving them *all* the heat they need.”

My smirk grows wider at the shocked expression on her face. She stares back at me a moment longer and she gets a smirk of her own.

“I hope it does too…then maybe you won’t be such a tight ass anymore.”

I can’t help it. I gotta. It’s just too good to pass up.

“Well, Buffy won’t be.”

She just shakes her head and smiles.

“How I k I know you were gonna say that?”

I smirk and we share a moment of eye contact before we turn and walk home in a comfortable silence.

I can’t help but keep smiling. As I walk up the driveway, I glance up at the window to my room and smirk.

Buffy is never gonna know what hit her.