Spike's wish

Chapter 10


The past comes back to bite you in the ass part 1

** A/N ** Episode Quotes from "Buffyverse Dialogue" Stick with me, there are a lot of quotes here, SPOILERS FOR SEASONS 2 THROUGH 7, as Buffy learns of her "Past"

Chapter 10

The Past Come Back to Bite You in The Ass

"Why us?" "Because you are the cause. You are the last guardian of the hellmouth. You must stop it."

****++++**** ~~~~`

"Do we really need weapons for this?" Buffy asked "I just like them. They make me feel all manly." Spike said dropping his weapon and running his hand suggestively down his stomach. "The last Slayer I killed, she begged for her life. You don't strike me as the begging kind." ~~~~~`

"Take them all. Save the Slayer for me." Spike shouted to his minions as they entered the club.

Buffy leapt up to where Drucilla was standing, watching the goings on. "Spike!" She shouted pressing the steak against Dru's heart.

"Everybody STOP!" Spike yelled.

"Good idea. Now you let everyone out, or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray." Buffy said threateningly. "Spike?" Drucilla pleaded in a tiny scared voice.

"It's gonna be alright, baby." Spike soothed "Let them go!" He shouted to his minions. ~~~~`

"Look at me, Dearie. Be... in my eyes. Be... in me." Dru said hipnotizing Kendra. Dru Slashed Kendra's throat with her razor sharp nails. "Night- night" She giggled.
~~~~`

Spike snuck up behind the cop and knocked him out

"Hello, cutie. Now, you hold on a second! Hey! White flag here. I quit." Spike said holding up his hands.

"Let me clear this up for you. We're mortal enemies. We don't get time- outs." Buffy said threatening him with her steak. "You want to go a round, pet, I'll have a gay old time of it. You want to stop Angel... we're gonna have to play this a bit differently." Spike said sincerely.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy questioned.

"I'm talking about your ex, pet. I'm talking about putting him in the bloody ground."

"This has gotta be the *lamest* Trick you guys have ever thought up." Buffy said shaking her head.

" He's got your Watcher. Right now, he's probably torturing him." Spike said truthfully.

"What do you want?" Buffy asked.

"I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world." Spike said snickering.

"Okay. You do remember that you're a vampire, right?" Buffy asked

"We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?" Spike asked.

"Okay, fine. You're not down with Angel. Why would you ever come to me?" She asked incredulously

"I want Dru back. I want it like it was before he came back. The way she acts around him..." Spike trailed off.

"You're pathetic." Buffy stated.

~~~~`

"Have we met?" Joyce asked.

"Um... you hit me with an ax one time. Remember?" Spike said miming holding an axe. "Uh, 'get the hell away from my daughter.'"

"Oh. So, do you, uh, live here in town?" Joyce asked casually.

~~~~` "It's okay, I got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right? I'm Faith." Faith said perkily.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town." Said Oz.

"Can I borrow that?" Faith asked grabbing Buffy's steak and plunging it into the vampire's chest. "Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you." She exclaimed as the vampire exploded into dust. ~~~~`

"Are you gonna kill Willow tonight? Cause I want you to say 'this is for messing with my sweet girl and then you know." Harmony said making GRRR face. "Nobody knows I'm here. And I'm not killing the slayers best friend because that would tend to announce my presence. And we're too bloody close." Spike said exasperatedly. "But you almost killed her last year. Suddenly it's a big deal?" Harmony whined. "SOD OFF." Spike yelled "Now go eat someone. I've got work to do." ~~~~`

"We have to assume Spike's main target is Buffy." Giles said "Fine you know what? He's worn out his welcome. Tonight I kill him." Buffy said confidently. "You have a plan?" Giles asked. "I am the plan. If Spike wants me I go alone. No arguments. Lead him away from populated areas and give him what he wants." ~~~~~

"I like my evil like I like my men-evil. You know 'straight up black hat tied to the train tracks, soon my Electro-ray will destroy the metropolis bad." Buffy fumed. ~~~~~

"Help me." Spike said as Buffy shoved him back and he fell to the ground. "Ohh! What part of help me do you not understand?"

"The part where I help you." Buffy replied

"Come on, I'm parboiling out here." Spike whined

"Want me to help make it quicker?" Buffy quipped

"Invite me in." Spike begged.

"No. It's fairly unlikely." Giles said "Oh, damn it! look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell' em what I did." He pleaded.

"You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy." Willow said smugly

"Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you." Spike was exasperated

"It's true. He had trouble performing." Willow said solemnly

"Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good. Um..." Spike said.

"What are you saying?" She inquired

"I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people." Spike said sadly

"So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals." Buffy said perkily.

"I've got information. About the soldier boys you were fighting. Got the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?" Spike asked grasping at straws. ~~~~`

"Spike's more important than me. I get it" Willow sighed. "Buffy's got to find out what's up with those commando's. Right now she needs Spike." Xander replied. "Well fine. Why doesn't she go marry him?" Willow asked snottily. ~~~~` "It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say." Buffy said excitedly "Just say yes and make me the happiest man on earth." Spike repiled. "Oh Spike. Of course it's yes." Buffy cried happily. ~~~~` "Oh Spike are you ok?" Buffy asks "Slayer" Spike groans and kisses her passionately. Thunder and lightning crash and the spell was broken, Buffy and Spike pulled violently away from each other. But not before Buffy had seen the expression of lust still on Spike's face, mirroring her own. "Oh uhh." Buffy stammers "Bloody Hell.." Spike murmurs. They both jump up wiping their lips and pretending to gag. "Spike lips. Lips of Spike" Buffy squeals ~~~~`

"What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still a foot. That's not very industrious of you." Spike said "I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? To chicken?" Spike questioned. "Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. - Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies - and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* them all! - Let's *kill* something! Oh, come *on*!" ~~~~`

"What are you" Buffy started to say

"All those years fighting us. Your power so near to our own... ...and you've never once wanted to know what it is that we fight for? Never even a taste?" Dracula asked

"If I drink that" Buffy started to say, her voice full of conflict.

"I have not drunk enough for you to change. You must be near death to become one of us. And that comes only when you plead for it." Dracula stated

"I'm not hungry." Buffy said staring at his wrist. "No. Your craving goes deeper than that." He stated.

"You think you know ... what you are ... what's to come. You haven't even begun... Find it. The darkness. Find your true nature." Dracula whispered. ~~~~`

"As I thought. Some nasty thing got a taste of you." Spike said confidently

"Don't get all excited. I'm fine." Buffy said frustrated.

"Oh, right. Stuck in a dark corner with a creature you loathe, diggin' up past uglies, 'cause you're fine." Spike laughed devoid of humor.
~~~~`

"Everyday it's the same question that haunts you, Is today the day I die? Death is on your heals baby and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. Part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know, what's it like? Where does it lead you? Now you see that's the secret. Not the punched you didn't land or the kicks you didn't throw she really wanted it. Every slayer has a death wish. Even you. The only reason you've lasts los long as you have is you've got ties to the world. Mom, Brat kid sister, Scoobies. They all tie you here, but you're just puttin off the inevitable. Sooner or later you're gonna want it. And the second, the second that happens you know I'll be there. I'll slip in, have myself a real good day. Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did?" "Get out of my sight Spike" Buffy growled. "Now" "Ohhh, why? Did I scare you? You're the Slayer. Do something about it. Hit me. Come on one good swing, you know you want to." "I mean it" "So do I. Give it to me good Buffy, do it" "Spike" Buffy said with a warning in her voice. Spike leaned in to kiss her. "What the hell are you doing?" "Come on" Spike said as he grabbed her by the arms "I can feel it Slayer and smell it too, you know you wanna dance." "Say its true, say I do want to," Buffy said pushing Spike down onto the ground. "It wouldn't be you Spike, it would never be you. You're beneath me." Buffy said as she threw the crumpled money at Spike who was on his ass on the pavement. Spike watched her walk away with tears in his eyes. ~~~~`

"Beneath me... I'll show her." Spike said to himself loading the shotgun. "Put her six bloody feet beneath me. Hasn't got a death wish? Bitch won't need one."
~~~~`

"What do you want now?" She asked him with tears rolling down her face

"What's wrong?" S ask asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Buffy said hugging herself tighter.

Spike lowered the gun.

"Is there something I can do?" Spike asked sincerely, sitting down next to her and tentatively patting her back, trying to comfort her. Buffy surprised by this, lets him. ~~~~`

"Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad." Buffy was practically shouting.

" 'Cause it was Spike!" Dawn replied.

"Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is, it is dangerous, and ... icky." Buffy said making a face.

"I don't think Spike's icky." Dawn said quietly.

"Yeah, well, think again, sister" Buffy started to say "You have a crush on him." Buffy said incredulously

"No I don't! It's just, he's got cool hair, and he wears cool leather coats and stuff." Dawn said smiling. "And he doesn't treat me like an alien." She said with a frown.

"He's a killer, Dawn. You cannot have a crush on something that is ... dead, and, and evil, and a vampire." Buffy said in a huff.

"Right, that's why you were never with Angel for three years." Dawn said rolling her eyes.

"Angel's different. He has a soul." Buffy said quietly.

"Spike has a chip. Same diff." Dawn said starting to walk away.

"I, I can't listen to this! Spike is a monster, okay? A-and plus, you are fou fourteen years old." Buffy said.

"I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around." Dawn said sulkily.

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked.

"Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you." Dawn said rolling her eyes.

"Huh? Oh ... oh no. Are you out of your mind?" She asked unbelieving. ~~~~`

"It's not so unusual. Two people ... in the workplace ... feelings develop." Spike said trying to talk to Buffy

"No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings." Buffy said refusing to even listen

"You can't deny it. There's something between us." Spike said.

"Loathing. Disgust."

"Heat. Desire."

"Please! Spike, you're a vampire."

"Angel was a vampire."

"Angel was good!"

"And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy."

"What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!" Buffy said, her voice rising.

"Women marry 'em all the time!"

"Uhh!" Buffy said throwing her hands up.

"But I'm not ... like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you."

"Uhh."

"And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing"

"You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!"

"I damn well do! I lie awake every night!" Spike said indignant.

"You sleep during the day!"

Yeah, but - You are missing the point. This is real here. I love"

"Don't! Don't say it. I'm going." She pleaded.

"Oh, come on, we need to talk" Spike said.

"We don't need to do anything!y, ty, there is no we! Understand?" Buffy said angrily.

"Buffy." ~~~~`

"Oh my god." Buffy said looking at the chains that bound her.

"No, look at me! I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you." Spike said passionately

"I can do without the laugh track, Dru." He said looking at her.

"But it's so funny. I knew ... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me." Drusilla said.

"You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something." Spike said looking into her eyes.

"It's called revulsion. And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't love without a soul." Buffy said.

" Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely" Dru said. ~~~~`

"Buffy! Come on now, stop." Spike said trying to catch up to her.

"You can't just walk away from this."

"What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?"

Buffy asked angrily. "So we had a fight. It's not our first, love, and it doesn't change anything." Spike said calmly.

"It changes everything, Spike! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I want you off this planet! You don't come near me, my friends, or my family again ever! Understand?" Buffy asked.

"No, it's nott eat easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real, and there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out." Spike said

He stopped suddenly at the doorway as an invisible force prevented him from entering. He tilted his head at Buffy. She looked at him smugly and shut the door in his face. ~~~~`

"Buffy! What is it? Is it Glory?" Giles asked entering the house.

"I'm waiting. The, the coroner's coming."

"What?" Giles asked confused

"I have to tell Dawn. She's at school. I'll go there."

"I'm not sure... Oh god." Giles said as he rushed towards Joyce

" No. No. Don't. No, it's too late." Buffy said following him into the livingroom

" Joyce?"

"They're, they're coming for her, no, no, we're" Buffy said shaking her head

" Joyce!"

"We're not supposed to move the body!" ~~~~`

"Spike! You're covered in sexy wounds!" Buffy said perkily.

"Yeah. They feel real sexy. Where ya been?" He asked, she could see the pain in his face.

"I fell down & got confused. Willow fixed me. She's gay!" Buffy said perkily.

"Will fixed you? I'd a thought they'd melt you into scrap." Spike said.

"They were confused too. Do you wanna ravish me now?" Buffy asked perkily.

"Give us a minute. Got some bones need mending." Spike said sitting up on the coffin.

"Why did you let that Glory hurt you?"

"She wanted to know who the key was."

"Well I can tell her and then you won't..."

"No!" Spike coughed "You can't ever! Glory never finds out."

"Why?"

"Because Buffy... the other, not so pleasant Buffy... anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live her being in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

Buffy kissed him gently on the lips. As soon as her lips touch his Spike got it. It's Buffy. He thought to himself.

"And my robot?"

"The robot is gone. The robot was gross & obscene."

"It wasn't supposed..." Before he can finish Buffy interrupts. "Don't! That thing... it wasn't even real." Buffy pauses thinking. "What you did, for me & Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it." She says as she walks out the door. ~~~~`

"The weapons are in the chest by the TV. I'll grab the stuff upstairs" Buffy said to Spike as she entered her house.

"Uh, Buffy ..." Spike said, raising his hands up to the invisable barrier "If you wanna just hand them over the threshold"

"Come in, Spike." Buffy says sighing.

Spike was touched, she let him back "Hmm. Presto. No barrier..." Spike said gratefully. "Um, won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself."Buffy stops half way up the stairs. "We're not all gonna make it. You know that." "Yeah. Hey, I always knew I'd go down fighting." Spike said with a chuckle.

"I'm counting on you. To protect her."

"'Til the end of the world -- even if that happens to be tonight."

"I be be a minute."

"I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's... Get your stuff. I'll be here." ~~~~`

"Well, what do you know? It's just about that time." Doc said tilting his blade in the light.

"SPIKE!" Dawn shouted as soon as she saw him. "Doesn't a fellow stay dead when you kill him?" Spike asked

"Look who's talking." Doc replied.

"Come on, Doc. Let's you and me have a go." Spike said, starting towards him.

"I do have a prior appointment..." Doc said evilly.

"This won't take long."

"No! I don't imagine it will." Doc said as he stabbed Spike in the side. "You don't come near the girl, Doc." Spike said in warning.

"I don't smell a soul anywhere on you... why do you even care?"

"I made a promise to a lady."

"Oh? Well I'll send the lady your regrets." Doc said as he hurled Spike off the tower.

"No! No!" Dawn shouted. ~~~~`

"Buffy, it hurts ..."

"I got it... Come here, you're gonna be... okay ... Go!"

"Buffy, it's started. I'm sorry..."

"It doesn't matter. What are you doing?"

"I have to jump. The energy"

"It'll kill you!"

"I know. Buffy, I know about the ritual! I have to stop it."

"No!"

"I have to! Look at what's happening! Buffy, you have to let me go! Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing it'll never stop. You know you have to let me ... It has to have the blood ..."

~~FLASHBACK~~

"'Cause it's always gotta be blood" Spike said.

~~FLASHBACK~~

"Summers blood. It's just like mine." Buffy said.

~~FLASHBACK~~

"She's me, the monks made her out of me." Buffy said.

~~FLASHBACK~~

"Death is your gift." The First slayer stated.

"Death?" Buffy asked.

"*Is* your gift." Spirit Guide:

~~Back to present. ~~

"Buffy... no!"

"Dawnie... I have to" "NO!"

"Listen to me! Please, there's not a lot of time, listen." Buffy talked quietly to Dawn for a few moments, then she turned and jumped off of the tower.

~~~~`

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2001

BELOVED SISTER, DEVOTED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD

A LOT

It had said on her grave marker.

“Oh…no I remember I was in heaven…with my mom.” Buffy sobbed as the next memory started.
~~~~`
**Decided to re post this into two chapters. Hope that makes it easier to read.