Lost Memories
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Spike(William)/Willow
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
38
Views:
2,614
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Spike(William)/Willow
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
38
Views:
2,614
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor do I profit in any way from the writing of this story.
Laughing
He didn’t say anything, just stepped aside in a universal sign that even if her company wasn’t necessarily welcome, she was at least invited to come in. Not much, but hey, not exactly picky right now, and she’d take what she could get.
Oh God, why did she come here? Didn’t she realize he’d just shagged her best friend just inches from where she now stood? He didn’t want to taint whatever they had going with the crazy circus of torture that was his current situation with Buffy. Yet here she was, somehow right in the middle of it.
“Hey! Ummm…..hey.” She said with a tight smile and eyes that wandered everywhere, but never quite seemed to meet his. She was nervous again. Why the hell should she be nervous? They’d already done the deed, and hadn’t he as much as told her today that he’d keep their secret? Hadn’t that stolen kiss been enough to let her know he wouldn’t tell, wouldn’t embarrass her like that? Of course it had also carried an invitation, so maybe that’s why she was here, maybe that was the reason she was so nervous. But he couldn’t, well he could, vampire stamina and all that rot, but he wouldn’t touch her tonight. Not after having been with Buffy just a few minutes ago without even the chance to shower.
So the question was, how should he play this? Where they still friends? Well, had they ever really been friends? Were they lovers? Well, that would imply intent to indulge again, and while he would certainly oblige, he wasn’t sure if she would. He turned her on, sure, could tell that from a mile away, but did she want him?
“Earth to Spike????”
“Yeah luv? Sorry, was thinking’ “
“Oh my Goddess, what did she do to you?” Now she was looking at him, and apparently the slayer’d roughed him up right nice because there was nothing but pure shock on her face, eyes wide, mouth set in a pretty little “o”, hand reaching toward his face. He almost let himself sink into her touch, then flinched away. She couldn’t touch him when he was like this. Fresh from a tumble with Buffy, hurt and broken in more ways than one and confused as all hell. Sure, he’d told her everything the night before, but that was different, drowning his sorrows he was, nice manly thing to do. But being left broken and empty in a cold, dark crypt? That was right poncy, and he didn’t want her to see him like this, let alone touch him like this.
“Willow….don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“It’s not what it looks like ok. Gave as good as I got.” He said with not a little petulance.
“Spike, I just saw her fifteen minutes ago, and she was definitely tired, but there wasn’t a bruise to be seen, and she wasn’t bleeding.” He had several bruises here and there on his arms and chest. Chest? Spike chest? Yummy. How had she not noticed until just now that he was shirtless? But, that was neither here not there, because what was really worrying her was the long bloody gash running just along the outside of his right eye.
And she was right of course, hadn’t really given as good as he got. Never did with Buffy. He didn’t want to hit her, all he wanted to was to love her, hold her, help her heal. A bloke can only take so much before he has to strike back, but he always held back a little not truly wanting to hurt her.
“Just let me clean it up.”
“ ‘S nothing, be mostly gone by morning and nothing but a distant memory by tomorrow night, give her a clean canvas. ‘Sides, Red, I don’t think you really want to be here right now. I’m not, I mean, I can’t, well I can, but Buffy and I just and well…” He trailed off without truly saying anything, ran his hand up and down the back of his neck, and now he was the one avoiding eye contact.
He was taken aback when she suddenly burst into laughter clutching her sides and bending over.
“What’s so bloody funny, huh? The thought of shagging me again that hilarious?” Now he was pissed, and he didn’t want to be pissed at her, but last night had meant something to him. It hurt that she would laugh at his misconception of the situation, and when he was hurt, it always turned to anger. At his outburst her laughter immediately died and she raised up with a stunned and utterly bewildered expression.
“I wasn’t laughing at you , Spike.”
“You bloody well were.”
“I was laughing at us. Standing here, shuffling our feet, avoiding each others eyes, and talking about everything but what we should be talking about. You having trouble trying to explain to me why we can’t have sex. Me wondering why you think that’s why I came in the first place, though - honestly- it was pretty damn good, so yeah, I can see how you might think that.”
“What?”
“Us Spike. You the hundred and something year old vamp, me the ……well, just me, acting like a couple of kids after their first time clumsily fooling around in the backseat.”
Yes, there was that smirk she was so used to and happened to adore oh so much. “Pretty good, huh? Just pretty good? You certainly thought it was better than “pretty good” at the time, I seem to remember…..”
“Ok, yes, it was much better than pretty good. Spike, you are a sex god, just may have turned me straight.” God, he loved that quirky little smile that was tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“Damn right, and don’t you forget it.”
Completely serious now, “I won’t.”
And there was silence only interrupted by the occasional chirp of a cricket somewhere amongst the debris in the back of the room, as they, for an immeasurable length of time got lost in each other’s gaze.
Oh God, why did she come here? Didn’t she realize he’d just shagged her best friend just inches from where she now stood? He didn’t want to taint whatever they had going with the crazy circus of torture that was his current situation with Buffy. Yet here she was, somehow right in the middle of it.
“Hey! Ummm…..hey.” She said with a tight smile and eyes that wandered everywhere, but never quite seemed to meet his. She was nervous again. Why the hell should she be nervous? They’d already done the deed, and hadn’t he as much as told her today that he’d keep their secret? Hadn’t that stolen kiss been enough to let her know he wouldn’t tell, wouldn’t embarrass her like that? Of course it had also carried an invitation, so maybe that’s why she was here, maybe that was the reason she was so nervous. But he couldn’t, well he could, vampire stamina and all that rot, but he wouldn’t touch her tonight. Not after having been with Buffy just a few minutes ago without even the chance to shower.
So the question was, how should he play this? Where they still friends? Well, had they ever really been friends? Were they lovers? Well, that would imply intent to indulge again, and while he would certainly oblige, he wasn’t sure if she would. He turned her on, sure, could tell that from a mile away, but did she want him?
“Earth to Spike????”
“Yeah luv? Sorry, was thinking’ “
“Oh my Goddess, what did she do to you?” Now she was looking at him, and apparently the slayer’d roughed him up right nice because there was nothing but pure shock on her face, eyes wide, mouth set in a pretty little “o”, hand reaching toward his face. He almost let himself sink into her touch, then flinched away. She couldn’t touch him when he was like this. Fresh from a tumble with Buffy, hurt and broken in more ways than one and confused as all hell. Sure, he’d told her everything the night before, but that was different, drowning his sorrows he was, nice manly thing to do. But being left broken and empty in a cold, dark crypt? That was right poncy, and he didn’t want her to see him like this, let alone touch him like this.
“Willow….don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“It’s not what it looks like ok. Gave as good as I got.” He said with not a little petulance.
“Spike, I just saw her fifteen minutes ago, and she was definitely tired, but there wasn’t a bruise to be seen, and she wasn’t bleeding.” He had several bruises here and there on his arms and chest. Chest? Spike chest? Yummy. How had she not noticed until just now that he was shirtless? But, that was neither here not there, because what was really worrying her was the long bloody gash running just along the outside of his right eye.
And she was right of course, hadn’t really given as good as he got. Never did with Buffy. He didn’t want to hit her, all he wanted to was to love her, hold her, help her heal. A bloke can only take so much before he has to strike back, but he always held back a little not truly wanting to hurt her.
“Just let me clean it up.”
“ ‘S nothing, be mostly gone by morning and nothing but a distant memory by tomorrow night, give her a clean canvas. ‘Sides, Red, I don’t think you really want to be here right now. I’m not, I mean, I can’t, well I can, but Buffy and I just and well…” He trailed off without truly saying anything, ran his hand up and down the back of his neck, and now he was the one avoiding eye contact.
He was taken aback when she suddenly burst into laughter clutching her sides and bending over.
“What’s so bloody funny, huh? The thought of shagging me again that hilarious?” Now he was pissed, and he didn’t want to be pissed at her, but last night had meant something to him. It hurt that she would laugh at his misconception of the situation, and when he was hurt, it always turned to anger. At his outburst her laughter immediately died and she raised up with a stunned and utterly bewildered expression.
“I wasn’t laughing at you , Spike.”
“You bloody well were.”
“I was laughing at us. Standing here, shuffling our feet, avoiding each others eyes, and talking about everything but what we should be talking about. You having trouble trying to explain to me why we can’t have sex. Me wondering why you think that’s why I came in the first place, though - honestly- it was pretty damn good, so yeah, I can see how you might think that.”
“What?”
“Us Spike. You the hundred and something year old vamp, me the ……well, just me, acting like a couple of kids after their first time clumsily fooling around in the backseat.”
Yes, there was that smirk she was so used to and happened to adore oh so much. “Pretty good, huh? Just pretty good? You certainly thought it was better than “pretty good” at the time, I seem to remember…..”
“Ok, yes, it was much better than pretty good. Spike, you are a sex god, just may have turned me straight.” God, he loved that quirky little smile that was tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“Damn right, and don’t you forget it.”
Completely serious now, “I won’t.”
And there was silence only interrupted by the occasional chirp of a cricket somewhere amongst the debris in the back of the room, as they, for an immeasurable length of time got lost in each other’s gaze.