Quantum Xander II: In Wake of the Curse

Part 10

Spike sat at the bar and drank his beer in silence. He was trying to figure out what to do about his conflicting emotions. After hearing what had happened to Xander, all of it, including his visit that morning by something pretending to be his mate, he had held the man in his arms as he wept.

His demon felt the need to soothe him, and the man in him agreed wholeheartedly. Xander had been more than kind to him since his return and he wanted to repay him. But he was beginning to feel things for him that he had no business feeling. He loved Buffy. He had gotten his soul for Buffy. Of course he knew that Xander didn’t want him; well okay, maybe he wanted him but he didn’t love him. He was grieving for his lover - his mate - and was trying to find a way to bring him back. At least that had given him the chance to tell him about Darla. He expected Angel would be getting a phone call sometime soon.

A pretty blonde girl slid onto the stool next to him and set a package of cigarettes on the bar in front of him. He nodded to her and she smiled. They started talking, small talk - decent band tonight, that sort of thing. All the while Spike was wondering if Xander was all right. He had convinced him to take a sleeping pill and make an early night of it before leaving the apartment. He needed time and space to put his head on right.

Buffy would be out there right now somewhere in one of the many cemeteries this quaint little town had. She’d be patrolling, fighting for her life possibly, and he should be there with her, protecting her. He stood to go; the girl stood as well. He offered to walk her home and she accepted.

He didn’t remember much after that. He had woken up at home in his bed. He felt unusually well. Full, and his demon was sated. He got up and wandered across the hall to check on Xander. He quietly pushed the door open and peered inside.

Xander was sleeping peacefully. He was glad for that; after hearing what he had been through and about the visit from the evil that had pretended to his lover, he wondered if the man would sleep at all. That was the reasoning behind the sedative.

Spike closed the door and went out to the living room. It was just a few hours before dawn and he knew from experience that there would be nothing but infomercials and repeats of Gilligan’s Island on the television. So, he dug a book out of the couch cushions where he had stashed it a few nights ago and sat down to read.

Xander was dreaming

It was bright outside; he was lying on the beach watching the waves. He closed his eyes and let the heat of the sun and the sound of the waves crashing on the sand soothe him. He had always loved the ocean and wondered why he didn’t take the time to go there more often. He felt a cool hand slide across his chest and smiled as soft lips caressed his cheek.

“I miss you.”

“I’m always here, love; told you I’d never leave you.”

“But you did. You’re not here anymore.”

“Sure I am. Can’t you feel me?”

Spike continued to pet Xander; he ran his fingers lightly over his arms and shoulders before kissing his neck - directly over his mark. Xander shuddered and pressed into his lover with a sigh.

“Right now I can, and it’s wonderful, but I can only feel you when I sleep. I want more.”

“I know, love, but this is all we have right now. Besides, you can still feel me - in here.”

Spike tapped Xander’s chest right over his heart.

“Just like I can feel you. You’re a part of me, remember? Just like I’m a part of you. My being dust doesn’t change that. Mine, forever mine.”

And then Spike kissed Xander softly.

“I have to go, love.”

“No, not yet! You just got here.”

“I know, but our time is short these days. There is something coming, love, something big. You need to wake up and go see your slayer friend.”

Xander clutched Spike to him with all the strength he possessed.

“Just a few more minutes, please, Spike. I miss you so much.”

“Okay love, okay.”

Spike pressed his lips to Xander’s and kissed him again. The sounds of the ocean faded out as the real world came crashing back with an annoying buzz.

Xander reached out and slapped ineffectually at his alarm clock. He could still feel the effects of his dream. The sound of Spike’s voice, the taste of his lips. He sighed and rolled over, grabbed his clock and turned off the alarm. He didn’t want to go to work today; he wanted to go back to sleep and dream of his mate. But he had taken yesterday off and if he wanted to keep his job, he had to go in today. Besides, he had to see Buffy as well. He would drop in on her at lunchtime and tell her about his visit yesterday.

The morning had crawled by. Every time Xander looked at the clock, he sighed. He didn’t want to talk to Buffy, but he knew he had to. He just didn’t know what to tell her. That he had been visited by something that looked like his dead lover? Not gonna happen, ‘cause hello? No one knew about his Spike, or anything else that had happened while he’d been gone. So what then? Tell her he had been visited by a dead person who said the end of the world was coming? Yeah, that’d go over well.

“Fuck it. I’ll think of something when I get there.”

Xander picked up the phone and dialed Sunnydale High. He waited to be connected with “Miss Summers’” office and smiled. Whoever thought Buffy would end up a guidance counselor? Not him, that was for sure. It made sense though, that the slayer’s day job would be directly over the hellmouth. Actually, it was a bit too much of a coincidence for his liking. Maybe he’d do a little poking around into the new Principal’s history. Make sure he wasn’t evil or anything.

“Hey, Buff. You doing anything for lunch? …Great. You want me to pick you up or meet there? …Okay, I’ll see you shortly.”

Xander grabbed his jacket and left the trailer, locking it behind him. He nodded and waved to various guys on the crew on his way to his car. He couldn’t help but chuckle at poor Rodney. Whatever he had used to wash with had dried his skin so badly it was red and blistered. He wondered if Jeremy hadn’t been right after all - he could see Rodney’s wife dousing him with bleach.

As Xander drove, his mind drifted back to earlier that morning. He had staggered out to the kitchen to set the coffeemaker before getting in the shower. On his way past the living room back to the bathroom he had noticed Spike asleep on the couch. He had a book resting open and face down on his chest, one arm over his eyes, the other dangling off the couch and resting on the floor. His legs were straight, feet crossed at the ankles and he was barefoot. Actually he was bare-chested as well, just wearing the light blue denims that Xander had bought him.

With the feelings the dream had brought on so close to the surface, he found himself subconsciously moving toward the sleeping vampire. Then his mind threw up the image of that thing that had impersonated his mate - telling him that he was dark, that he would use this beautiful creature in front of him to satisfy his own needs. That was just the bucket of cold water he needed. He had left the room rather quickly and jumped into the shower. Turning the water on cold. By the time he’d come out, Spike had gone to bed. Xander poured coffee into a travel mug, grabbed a couple of packages of blueberry muffins and left.

As he entered the parking lot for the high school, he took a couple of deep, fortifying breaths and tried to be calm. Buffy waved to him from across the lot and he slowed the car as she came toward him. He pulled to a stop and she opened the car door and climbed in.

“Wow. You look like I feel.”

Xander looked at her and grinned.

“Well if you feel like shit run over twice, I’d have to say you were dead on.”

Xander knew he looked washed out. The bags under his eyes had luggage of their own; he hadn’t bothered to shave, and he barely bothered to finger comb his hair after his shower.

“Xander. I need to ask you something. It’s about Spike.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“I talked to this vampire last night on patrol, he went to school with us - Holden Webster; ring any bells? Anyway, we fought for a while, then we talked - it was way weird - he was a psychology student or something before he died.”

“Wait. You were being head-shrunk by the evil undead?”

Xander shook his head and chuckled. Buffy laughed softly, as well.

“Only you, Buff.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too. Anyway, he helped me to realize a few things about myself, but that has nothing to do with what I need to ask you. Xander, he told me he was sired by Spike.”

There was a deathly quiet in the car while Xander absorbed that bit of information. Then Buffy dropped another bomb in his lap.

“That’s not all. You remember Cassie, that girl I was trying to help, the one who died? Well Willow had a close encounter of the scary kind with her last night. She tried to trick her into killing herself.”

“Wow, um…”

“There’s more. Dawn saw Mom. At least she said it was Mom, but it might have been whatever it was that Willow saw.”

“I saw someone, too. He told me it was the end of the world.”

Buffy looked at Xander long and hard.

“What else? I know there’s more to it than this, Xander. I can see it on your face. You have something-face.”

“He tried to convince me to die, as well. He was very convincing; up until that point, I believed he was really…”

“Who was it, Xander, who did you see?”

When Xander didn’t answer, Buffy got impatient.

“Xander! We don’t have time for this; what you saw - who you saw might be very important to figuring out what’s going on. The Cassie-thing said something about ‘from beneath you it devours’. I’ve been hearing that in my dreams lately; that and seeing girls die. We don’t have the luxury of secrets anymore. You are going to have to tell me.”

Xander pulled off to the side of the road and thumped his head on the steering wheel. Buffy was right, he had to tell her the truth, but he so didn’t want to. This was going to be bad. Very, very bad.

“It was Spike.”