Toys 'R' Us

Title: Toys ''R' Us: Chapter Ten.

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Whatever shall Buffy and Faith do after being trapped inside a local Toys 'R' Us by a pair of mischievous wizards under Willow's watch?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, save for the storyline. All characters and the like are trademark properties of Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and it's affiliates. Barbie and Skipper are copyrighted to Matel. Toys 'R' Us is copyrighted to their fucking bizarre giraffe and whoever else. Please don't sue. Anything else mentioned, be them persons or objects, are copyrighted to their owners just the same and blah, blah, blah. No money is made from this, so don't sue. I'm just a poor girl. Really, I am.

A/N: I know that the last chapter was so far back, but I've been insanely busy with a baby and all that parentingness. Who knew babies were hard work? Now, I am back full blast and ready to update all my fictions. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you once again to the reviews I've had on previous chapters. Reading them made me really have the urge to get back into writing. :)


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Oh god, oh god! Buffy's mind screamed. Her body seemed to be at a stand still, or in this case, rubbing.... er, something. All she could do was stare in silence? Yes.

Stare in shock? Yes.

Stare in lust? Yes!

But, no! Not here. Not like this.

Taking control of her hand, Buffy jabbed two fingers against Faith's denim and twisted. Causing the brunette to gasp in partial enjoyment and surprise. Surprise that Buffy would do something like that.

"Oh yeah, B. Right there." Faith moaned, letting her grip ease up on the other's hand, wanting to see if the blonde would continue her ministrations or...

Well, Faith got the or part of the deal.

Jerking back her arm, a low growl errupted from the older girl's chest. "I'm tired. I'm hungry. We WERE trapped in a toy store and now we've seem to have fell in..." In where? It was too cute to be Hell. Too weird to be Heaven. So where was this? Some whack jobs idea of a kid show?

Sucking in a sharp breath and fighting the urge to just ravish the object of her desires right then and there, Faith shrugged at Buffy. "Iono where we are B. All I know is I want out. Don't go thinkin' I wanna stay here. Cos I sure as fuck don't." And she didn't.

Rolling her head until her neck gave a popping sound, Faith adjusted her pants and started off ahead of her. Not having a particular destination in mind, but something in her made a note to go that way. And so she did. Without a word to the older Slayer. Knowing she'd follow.

Still trying to think on where it is they were, Buffy hadn't paid any attention to the retreating brunette. When she did, boy did she have a nice view. Faith's curves swayed with each graceful step and her legs seemed to go on into forever.

And her feet seemed to go PLOP right on a decapitated head.

The eyes of the unknown dead creature exploding out of their sockets. Blood ozzing from it's ears and nostrils. Mouth twisted in distortion as it's head seemed to deflate.

Giving a violent shudder, Buffy hopscotched her hide over to Faith. Making damn sure not to step or brush against anything. Faith on the other hand couldn't give a shit.

"Where are you going?" Emerald orbs momentarily peered up at Faith in question. Quickly darting back to the ground in safety.

"That way." A finger pointed in the direction of ahead.

"I can SEE that. I meant, do you know where you're going?" Yup, Buffy was clearly having a blonde moment.

Briefly pausing in her steps, Faith gave a sideways glanced down at the other girl and rose both brows. Head shaking. "Yea, cos I've been here so many times before." Sarcasm laced every word, "No. I jus' figured it was better than standin' there tryin' t'decide where we were."

Catching the pout that caused Buffy's lips to purse up, Faith pushed all thoughts of nibbling the lower lip aside and sighed, softening her tone, "Look. We'll get outta here. We came from back there, so I'm thinkin' ahead is good. Where there's a way in, there's a way out. So don't go pouting."

"I was NOT pouting!" Buffy objected. Not ignoring the fact that Faith was playing leader now. As much as she wanted to play lead, and knew it was her role, it felt nice to have a break once in a while.

"Yes you were." Faith defended, still marching ahead.

"No!" Where as Buffy raised her voice...

"Yes." Faith didn't.

"I was not pouting. Does this look like pouting?" Buffy asked, rushing to stand ahead of Faith.

Pausing to study the other's expression, Faith pretended as if she was trying for an answer. "No." She responded in submission.

"Aha! See I..." Buffy was cutoff midsentence.

"Not now. You were before." Yup, Faith popped the bubble heads bubble. "Now can we mature and keep goin', cos seriously, I'm starved, too. Plus there's a score I gotta settle between two brats." A glint of malice flashed in hazel orbs.

"You're joking, right?" Something told her that Faith intended on carrying out whatever plans she had for the two boys. Although instinct also told her that it wasn't going to be violent. Unless you counted pissing your pants violent.

"Hell no!" Faith was going to share every detail of the plot with the blonde. But they were intercepted by a band of small toy soldiers carrying an array of weapons.

Some wielding knives.

Others guns.

And the rest were carrying rocket launchers.

All in itsy bitsy form.

"Stop right there!" The commander boomed from way on the ground a good five feet low.

"What in the name..." While Faith questioned what was going on, looking down in confusion...

Buffy was busy bending down to be somewhat eye level with some of the soldiers.

"You are in trespassing into private sections. You are not authorized to be here! Turn around at once and we'll allow you to live!" The nasty little guy ordered in bark.

"Your brains must be really tiny. Cos if you haven't noticed, we're like a..." She was trying to do the math in her head, "...hundred times bigger than yo---" Faith trailed off when she heard her sister Slayer yelp in pain.

"OW!" Buffy squeaked, pulling her injured finger to her mouth to suck at the tip. "You little Hitler!" The blonde snapped, "You purposely jabbed me. I wasn't even doing anything!"

"You okay, B? Wha' the little punk do to you?" Ignoring the instructions from the commander, Faith moved over to Buffy and eyed the injured finger. "It ain't tha' bad. You'll live." A devious grin slowly spread from one ear to the other, "But I'm kinda thinkin' these guys aren't." Standing back up agin, Faith lifted a leg and with Slayer fast reflexes, stomped on down. Pressing and then digging the heel of her boot into the ground. A pack of little soldiers buried under the giant leather soled footing.

"ATTACK!" The commander nearly sputtered out, frantic to get the situation under control.

Tiny bullets flied, slapping against Slayer skin all over. Screams of pain echoed around the battle zone as Faith went for the commander, lifting him up while still happily smushing green soldiers under her feet.

"Let me go you giant bitch!" The commander protested, his arms held at his sides with Faith's hand firmly wrapped around his midsection.

"Really now. Ya supposed to be childrens toys. Yet ya got such a dirty mouth on you. Tsk. Tsk. Do ya kiss ya mom with tha' mouth?" Faith was taunting a toy soldier. And all Buffy could do was let her.

Hey! The Nazi deserved it! They started it.

Down below, swarming both Slayer's feet, were more men. Grabbing robe and circling the pair of girls. Other soldiers still shooting their weapons at the giants.

Kicking away the robes, Buffy used the twitch of her pointer and thumb fingers to flick away the wannabe cowboys attempting to hogtie them up.

"I always wanted to see if I could really pop someone's head off. Guess I got my wish." Squeezing the commanders midsection light at first, Faith's grip gradually increased. The commander strruggling to free himself as the pain worsened. Yes, it was morbid, but they were being attacked by real life toys. You try to distinguish what was wrong and what was right.

It didn't take long before there was a resounding POP to be heard. The cries of defeat were fading into the distance as the other footed soldiers retreated. Standing to dust herself off, Buffy pivoted to face Faith. And the sight she saw was the younger woman's face smeered in blood. Her hand still clutching the lower half of the commander. His head? Well, that was what was splattered all across Faith's face.

After a brief pause, the silence was broken.

"You have some serious set of issues." Was all Buffy could muster up at the moment.

A/N: I'll have more up tomorrow. Tell me if you either liked this story or hated it. :)