Whisper Part 1

April 5th 1769 William’s Pov
It has been two years since I have known Sara and she and I have became very close and when our friendship became close I realized that my attraction to her has also grown as well she was a girl but became a beautiful young women in my eyes and I couldn’t stop these hidden feelings for her, God didn’t she know that she made my heart ache whenever she spoke or laughed with another man doesn’t she know how much I care for her, probably not or she does but just ignores it, well then if she’s going to ignore it then I shall to I’ll meet someone else, yes that’s right someone else that way they can get my mind off of her, that’s when Charsi came in, Charsi was very vibrant and very loud and was extremely into me she had blonde strawberry hair, probably an inch taller than Sara and had these vibrant green eyes and was really skinny not at all curvy like Sara is anyways, when we started courting it felt weird not being able to see Sara as much as I used to it was only when she came over at night to clean the house for my mother but even when she was there Charsi was there as well I felt as if I was losing my best friend and I didn’t want that when I confronted Sara about me not seeing her as much she would tell me not to worry about it and that I deserve happiness even though I saw the sadness in her eyes when she would say those words to me and that’s when it happened I started inviting Sara on my dates with me and Charsi and even though Sara would refuse I would practically beg her to come along and she would like a good friend would and try to be as friendly as she can with Charsi but Charsi would have nothing of the sort, which made me really angry, Sara has enough pain in her life she doesn’t need the women im courting to be rude to her as well. One day I invited Sara to go with me and Charsi to a picnic and once again I had to beg her to come and eventually she agreed to come along as Sara packed me, Charsi, and herself a lunch we all ended up on this beautiful hill like meadow where the breeze was refreshing and the air was warm but not too warm as we all sat and talked mostly me and Sara joking about the poets and talking about music and art, and architecture and literature and for her strange fascination with ships, I realized that Charsi hasn’t said a word during our picnic I pulled her aside and asked her what was the matter and all Charsi could do was yell at me “IM TIRED OF THIS WILLIAM I AM! IT’S EITHER HER OR ME! WHO ARE YOU GOING TO CHOOSE IM SICK OF HER CONSTANTLY BEING HERE, IM SICK OF THE WAY YOU STARE AT HER LIKE SHE IS SOME GODESS SO DECIDE WILLIAM ME OR HER!!!” I stood there in complete shock on how threatened she is with my best friend and I tried to assure her that Sara is nothing but a friend to me but Charsi would have nothing of it “WILLIAM YOU TREAT THAT WENCH TEN TIMES BETTER THAN ME PROVE TO ME THAT YOU LOVE ME! NOT HER I WANT YOU TO PROVE IT!!!” she screeched and I didn’t know how else I could prove this to her and when I asked her I thought I would almost fall over when she said “William make love to me, that’s how I know you don’t love her and that you love me” MAKE LOVE TO HER?!?! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON IN HER HEAD!!! I wanted to scream at her and I realized why am I getting so upset with the fact that she wants me to consummate our love, but wait do I love her? I never said I loved her, yes Sara’s in my heart but was it love for her that made me leery or was it that I was just scared? All I could do was just nod my head at this women and then I heard her say “Fine tonight you will show me” and then stalked off and gave Sara a dirty look which made me wanna slap her even harder and when I saw the look on Sara’s face and how she packed all her silverware and blanket and her extra food she got up and waved to me goodbye and left. I wanted to her hug her tell her that I want her to be mine not Charsi and now I have to prove something that I don’t feel want. That night came by really fast and me and Charsi were in an inn renting a room for the night and when we stood there she kissed me and looked me in the eyes and then I started kissing her back with the same passion she gave me but when I sat there and opened my eyes I didn’t see Charsi I saw Sara smiling back at me which made me want her even more, as I undressed Charsi and made love to her that night I realized when I woke up and I didn’t make love to Charsi that I used her and thought of her as Sara the women I really do love, it was then I realized that I cannot use this women anymore and that I couldn’t see her for now, on that morning I said my final goodbye to her and left a women crying in our room where she thought I consummated our love for each other when only she consummated and I did it for the wrong reasons I had to leave. I will forever feel horrible for using that woman just to affect my own sexual lust for another and I will forever be sorry.