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So Many Tears
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › FemmeSlash - Female/Female › Buffy/Faith
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
3,358
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
2
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › FemmeSlash - Female/Female › Buffy/Faith
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
3,358
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
2
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
10
Title: So Many Tears 10
Rating: NC-17
Author: Justchicky2bme
Pairing: If you don’t know by now, B/F
Disclaimer: Characters and show belong to JW and ME and whoever else. The story is mine.
Archive: Oooh yeah would love for someone to archive, just ask me first so I know, and attach my name of course.
Feedback: If I don’t get feedback I don’t write, ok well maybe I will but it’ll take me longer. xtrekangel@yahoo.com
Notes: This is short cus I don’t feel good right now.
The rain taps lightly at the window, almost melodious in nature. A distant rumble of thunder brings a warning of what’s to come. She stares up at the ceiling, watching the shadows of the grimy light hitting the rain. The cloeadseads 9:45. They would usually have gotten out of bed already, but sometimes they choose to stay and wile away the hours and minutes on slow Sunday mornings with brief conversations, sleep, and sessions of love making. A soft grumble and slight movement, and she turns her head to look at her girlfriend who’s arm and leg are on top of her, like she’s grabbing hold of her so she wont leave. Her hair has fallen over her face now, covering her closed eyes. Reaching over she moves a few strands away from the girls face and stares at her a moment. Then she returns to the hypnotic show on the ceiling. She’s contemplating something, she wants something, but she promised, and she can’t. Still it’s hard to forget, she may have forgiven, but she can’t forget. She’s not even sure shs fos forgiven; she may just be avoiding the whole thing which has cut into her picture perfect idea of love. The girl next to her stirs more, she’s waking up.
*********************************
Now why do I feel so alone
knowing I know I have you
and what made you turn around on me
what did I do
and when did love feel this way
so much pain and misery
where’s the you I once knew
and could ya fly with me
Floetry – if I was a bird
*******************************
‘Hey baby.’ She whispers in my ear, I can feel her hot breath, and her lips barely touch it. A shiver runs through my body. She wraps her arm and leg tighter around me, pulling herself closer. Then she’s over me, looking down, a smile graces her lips. Reaching up I touch her hair then push some of it behind her ear. My hand lingers on her cheek and she leans into it, closing her eyes.
‘You’re beautiful.’ I say quietly. Her eyes open. No matter how many times I’ve told her that she always seems surprised. I don’t know why, I’m sure she’s had more than her share of compliments.
‘Don’t even compare to you B.’ She grins at me, I can’t help but smile back at her when she does that. A boom of thunder shakes the windows. I turn my head and look out the window, but I can’t see anything it’s raining so hard. I feel her lips on my neck, and I moan at the contact. Grabbing her shoulders I push her over on her back and now I’m over her. My hands running up her stomach as I straddle her hips. Her hands on my hips and I can see the lust glowing in her eyes. My hands move slowly up to her breasts, and she closes her eyes arching slightly at my touch. Leaning down my tongue runs across her lips, then I suck on her bottom lip and grab it with my teeth pulling away. I begin to slowly grind myself against her, and she moans. I kiss her deeply and passionately. I want for the world to slow down, I want for time to stretch and for this little moment to last forever. I kiss along her jawline and down her neck, squeezing her breasts.
‘God….’ She moans. And then I think about those dreams, an image flashes in front of me. I can’t stop what I’m doing to myself right now. It hurts that these thoughts seem to be forever permanently with me. The dreams may be gone but that doesn’t erase my memory. I bury my head in her neck and I start to cry, I can’t stop the tears from forming. My body shakes a little. She has noticed my change in mood and one hand is running through my hair, the other pulling me toward her. ‘What’s wrong baby?’ She keeps asking me but I can’t speak right now. So she just hole, Ie, I think she knows what’s wrong, she’s the cause of these tears. After I calm and settle down I pull away from her and get up off the bed walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I don’t look back at her, I know there’s probably pain on her face. I fall back against the door and close my eyes. This needs to stop, I can’t keep doing this to myself and to her either. I really need a drink right now, but I promised her, but it’s hard. I want to forget. I splash some water on my face and dry it, then I open the door. She’s still there, lying in the bed, her hands folded under her head. I half expected her to have left. Her head turns and she looks at me. It’s hard for me not to look elsewhere.
‘You ok?’ She asks simply.
‘Yes.’ I set about looking for some clothes to put on.
‘Don’t lie to me B. I don’t know about you, but ng ing is not okay.’ I move hangers back and forth, I don’t know what I’m looking for. ‘Look B you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, we have to talk about it.’
‘You think I’m pretending it didn’t happen? I turn and look at her. ‘It’s hard to pretend when I can’t forget.’ I can see the pain register on her face. I turn back to the closet and pull some clothes out, I don’t care what it is I just need to get clothes on. She’s sitting on the bed staring at me.
‘B please talk to me, you can’t keep doing this shit.’ I really need a drink right now.
‘What am I supposed to say that will make anything better?’
‘I dunno but you gotta get it out B you gotta talk, if not to me then Red.’ She’s pleading with me, I think I love her a little more for this, but that doesn’t change anything.
‘It just hurts.’ I whisper, I don’t really want to say this it just comes out. I pull my pants on and then my shirt. ‘Sometimes so much it’s hard to breath.’ I turn and walk to the door opening it.
‘You’re gonna drink aren’t you?’ She asks from behind me. I freeze for a moment then just walk out the door. I know she’s going to follow me, so I hurry down the stairs and out the door into the pouring rain. Within seconds I am drenched. I shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket and walk down the sidewalk. I can hear her quickly approaching footsteps.
‘Buffy stop!’ She yells at me, and I turn around. She’s in a shirt and j no no shoes.
‘Why!’ I yell back through the rain.
‘Now who’s running away?’ She moves up to me and grabs my arms roughly. ‘I know I hurt you Buffy and I’m sorry, but you can’t keep running off to get drunk every time you remember something or I do something wrong. Stop running away!’ I look at her and I can see the love and concern in her eyes. She used to be the one I ran to. Right now I’m torn. I know what she is saying is the truth, I am running. But I still want to forget and I need a drink badly, it’s calling to me.
‘I… I …’ My words falter and I begin to pull away from her, I just want a drink it’s not going to hurt anyone. Her grip on my arm tightens.
‘I don’t want to have to do this.’ I look at her confused, I don’t understand what she is saying. I begin to pull away again and then I realize her fist is raised, and I’m so surprised by this that I don’t react fast enough as her fist comes down hitting me. Sparks erupt in front of my eyes and then blackness enfolds me.
TBC
Rating: NC-17
Author: Justchicky2bme
Pairing: If you don’t know by now, B/F
Disclaimer: Characters and show belong to JW and ME and whoever else. The story is mine.
Archive: Oooh yeah would love for someone to archive, just ask me first so I know, and attach my name of course.
Feedback: If I don’t get feedback I don’t write, ok well maybe I will but it’ll take me longer. xtrekangel@yahoo.com
Notes: This is short cus I don’t feel good right now.
The rain taps lightly at the window, almost melodious in nature. A distant rumble of thunder brings a warning of what’s to come. She stares up at the ceiling, watching the shadows of the grimy light hitting the rain. The cloeadseads 9:45. They would usually have gotten out of bed already, but sometimes they choose to stay and wile away the hours and minutes on slow Sunday mornings with brief conversations, sleep, and sessions of love making. A soft grumble and slight movement, and she turns her head to look at her girlfriend who’s arm and leg are on top of her, like she’s grabbing hold of her so she wont leave. Her hair has fallen over her face now, covering her closed eyes. Reaching over she moves a few strands away from the girls face and stares at her a moment. Then she returns to the hypnotic show on the ceiling. She’s contemplating something, she wants something, but she promised, and she can’t. Still it’s hard to forget, she may have forgiven, but she can’t forget. She’s not even sure shs fos forgiven; she may just be avoiding the whole thing which has cut into her picture perfect idea of love. The girl next to her stirs more, she’s waking up.
*********************************
Now why do I feel so alone
knowing I know I have you
and what made you turn around on me
what did I do
and when did love feel this way
so much pain and misery
where’s the you I once knew
and could ya fly with me
Floetry – if I was a bird
*******************************
‘Hey baby.’ She whispers in my ear, I can feel her hot breath, and her lips barely touch it. A shiver runs through my body. She wraps her arm and leg tighter around me, pulling herself closer. Then she’s over me, looking down, a smile graces her lips. Reaching up I touch her hair then push some of it behind her ear. My hand lingers on her cheek and she leans into it, closing her eyes.
‘You’re beautiful.’ I say quietly. Her eyes open. No matter how many times I’ve told her that she always seems surprised. I don’t know why, I’m sure she’s had more than her share of compliments.
‘Don’t even compare to you B.’ She grins at me, I can’t help but smile back at her when she does that. A boom of thunder shakes the windows. I turn my head and look out the window, but I can’t see anything it’s raining so hard. I feel her lips on my neck, and I moan at the contact. Grabbing her shoulders I push her over on her back and now I’m over her. My hands running up her stomach as I straddle her hips. Her hands on my hips and I can see the lust glowing in her eyes. My hands move slowly up to her breasts, and she closes her eyes arching slightly at my touch. Leaning down my tongue runs across her lips, then I suck on her bottom lip and grab it with my teeth pulling away. I begin to slowly grind myself against her, and she moans. I kiss her deeply and passionately. I want for the world to slow down, I want for time to stretch and for this little moment to last forever. I kiss along her jawline and down her neck, squeezing her breasts.
‘God….’ She moans. And then I think about those dreams, an image flashes in front of me. I can’t stop what I’m doing to myself right now. It hurts that these thoughts seem to be forever permanently with me. The dreams may be gone but that doesn’t erase my memory. I bury my head in her neck and I start to cry, I can’t stop the tears from forming. My body shakes a little. She has noticed my change in mood and one hand is running through my hair, the other pulling me toward her. ‘What’s wrong baby?’ She keeps asking me but I can’t speak right now. So she just hole, Ie, I think she knows what’s wrong, she’s the cause of these tears. After I calm and settle down I pull away from her and get up off the bed walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I don’t look back at her, I know there’s probably pain on her face. I fall back against the door and close my eyes. This needs to stop, I can’t keep doing this to myself and to her either. I really need a drink right now, but I promised her, but it’s hard. I want to forget. I splash some water on my face and dry it, then I open the door. She’s still there, lying in the bed, her hands folded under her head. I half expected her to have left. Her head turns and she looks at me. It’s hard for me not to look elsewhere.
‘You ok?’ She asks simply.
‘Yes.’ I set about looking for some clothes to put on.
‘Don’t lie to me B. I don’t know about you, but ng ing is not okay.’ I move hangers back and forth, I don’t know what I’m looking for. ‘Look B you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, we have to talk about it.’
‘You think I’m pretending it didn’t happen? I turn and look at her. ‘It’s hard to pretend when I can’t forget.’ I can see the pain register on her face. I turn back to the closet and pull some clothes out, I don’t care what it is I just need to get clothes on. She’s sitting on the bed staring at me.
‘B please talk to me, you can’t keep doing this shit.’ I really need a drink right now.
‘What am I supposed to say that will make anything better?’
‘I dunno but you gotta get it out B you gotta talk, if not to me then Red.’ She’s pleading with me, I think I love her a little more for this, but that doesn’t change anything.
‘It just hurts.’ I whisper, I don’t really want to say this it just comes out. I pull my pants on and then my shirt. ‘Sometimes so much it’s hard to breath.’ I turn and walk to the door opening it.
‘You’re gonna drink aren’t you?’ She asks from behind me. I freeze for a moment then just walk out the door. I know she’s going to follow me, so I hurry down the stairs and out the door into the pouring rain. Within seconds I am drenched. I shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket and walk down the sidewalk. I can hear her quickly approaching footsteps.
‘Buffy stop!’ She yells at me, and I turn around. She’s in a shirt and j no no shoes.
‘Why!’ I yell back through the rain.
‘Now who’s running away?’ She moves up to me and grabs my arms roughly. ‘I know I hurt you Buffy and I’m sorry, but you can’t keep running off to get drunk every time you remember something or I do something wrong. Stop running away!’ I look at her and I can see the love and concern in her eyes. She used to be the one I ran to. Right now I’m torn. I know what she is saying is the truth, I am running. But I still want to forget and I need a drink badly, it’s calling to me.
‘I… I …’ My words falter and I begin to pull away from her, I just want a drink it’s not going to hurt anyone. Her grip on my arm tightens.
‘I don’t want to have to do this.’ I look at her confused, I don’t understand what she is saying. I begin to pull away again and then I realize her fist is raised, and I’m so surprised by this that I don’t react fast enough as her fist comes down hitting me. Sparks erupt in front of my eyes and then blackness enfolds me.
TBC