The Journal of Buffy Summers

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Page 10 – Secrets, Lies and Illusions
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JOURNAL NOTE: Giles, you would be amazed at the magical wards surrounding this place to keep the cellar dwellers from escaping. Willow is certainly impressed and that says allot! I think that she is planning on using wards around the Hyperion, now that she has seen how well they work. Personally, I think that it is a good idea, so let’s get the coven working on putting them into key places. Especially around my apartment to protect Dawn while I’m gone.

You’d also be interested to know, that the senior partners have a very powerful glamour spell cloaking the entire devastated area. They are controlling what they want the world and the media too see. So let’s just say that the psycho killing spree I went on earlier? Well, it will never be televised on ESPN. So stop wiping your glasses and worrying that I have been exposed. Alright?

On a more personal note, how much emotional stress do you think one person can take in a short amount of time? Well, it seemed that I was about to find out. There I was, holding my breath, waiting for vital information on the well being of my two vampires. And as life would have it? Those answers were being held hostage by some two bit skanky ass ho who hates me with a fiery burning passion. Even worse, she has absolutely no reason to tell me the truth!

If I felt like I had been put through the wringer before, well let’s just say that things were about to get very interesting. Sound familiar? Well just keep on reading.

All right, so let’s fast forward to where we last left off when Riley ordered Harmony to tell me what she knows. (Gag me with a spoon!)
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“All right!” Harmony yelled. She finally noticed the remote device in his hand and the threatening way he was holding it. A range of conflicted emotions played across her face as she debated whether or not to comply and play nice, or refuse and suffer the consequences.

I don’t know what that little device does, but Harmony’s eyes widened when Riley aimed and pointed it at her. He started to slowly lower his thumb, ready to press a specific button and that maneuver immediately got the reaction he was looking for.

Throwing her hands up in the air in a sign of surrender, Harmony shook her head back and forth, motioning to Riley that force was not necessary. She cautiously took one step back, as her eyes kept darting between the remote device and Riley’s steely glare.

Willow and I felt like we were spectators at a tennis match as our heads swiveled back and forth in synchronized timing between the two.
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NOTE: Giles make a note to find out as much as you can on this remote device and the chip. I know that the First Evil was able to bypass the chip when it had brain washed Spike, so I’m not fully convinced that this device is intended for the benefit of humankind. To gain control over a creature of the dark to use as a weapon? Most definitely. To safeguard human life? Highly doubtful. I mean Spike racked up the body count when he was turning people to build an army for the First Evil. So I’m not convinced that even Riley realizes that his own weapon can be used against him and us. Put this on top of the list next to researching the amulet. Sorry Giles! Okay where was I? Oh yeah right!
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Satisfied with her change of attitude, Riley lowered his arm and motioned for her to sit back down. Turning to look at us, he said, “Let’s all have a seat and carry on with our meeting.” Even as he spoke, Riley never took his thumb off the remote. It was a very subtle move with its intent, but it was enough to convince Harmony to quickly scramble back to her seat.

We all settled back down at table again as Willow continued to hold my hand for emotional support. To her credit, she never flinched from the punishing grip I held her hand in. My body was wound tight, coiled in apprehension as I waited for Harmony to begin, and the suspense was working on my already frazzled nerves.

So much was at stake and I didn’t think that I could trust a single word that came out of Harmony’s mouth. Being the natural enemy to the demon residing within, it would follow its natural instincts and try to deceive me. I had to remind myself that this was not Harmony but a demon with her memories and personality traits but still a demon that would twist and use knowledge to its own advantage. For the moment she was a creature backed into a corner and a cornered animal is a very dangerous one. Without the means for violence, it would then resort to lies and deceptions to use as weapons against me.

Coming to a decision, I turned to Riley and said, “Riley, I don’t think that I can trust anything Harmony has to say.” Turning to look at Willow, I asked, “Willow if you are willing, how about we put her under a truth spell?”

Before Willow could respond Riley interrupted her, and with his most condescending tone, he stated. “Not necessary Buff, if you had been listening earlier like you should have, then you would have remembered my saying that an implanted hostile was incapable of lying. Must we repeat everything discussed at this meeting for your benefit?”

Bristling at his tone and attitude, I dropped Willow’s hand as the frightened girl left and the slayer took her place. Turning towards Riley, my eyes met his and narrowed as I leveled an icy glare at him.

Unflinching, his mouth formed into a knowing grin as he acknowledged that he was now addressing the slayer. “Glad to have the slayer back, Buffy,” his eyes twinkled in undisguised mischief and his face softened at the surprised look on my face.

I’d been had, after all this time the man still knew how to push my buttons. Shaking my head in mild amusement, I realized that he had intentionally prodded me out of the quivering mess I was in before his jibe.

“Touché, Riley, touché”, I chuckled. “You big jerk! Now how can I trust that Harmony will be telling the truth? I mean have you tested her before the chip implant to make sure it is working properly?”

Harmony at this point began squirming in her seat and she was biting her fingernails in an effort to keep from making any snide remarks.

“How about I push a button and render her into a state of relaxed hypnosis and then you can ask her a question that only the two of you know from back in your high school days. If her answer satisfies you, then you can judge for yourself if it is working properly or not.” Riley offered.

As I started to process the avenues of opportunities this presented to me and I got this “Mona Lisa” grin on my face that must’ve given Harmony a hint of what I had in mind.

“Sure,” I chirped, “let’s test it!” At this point my butt was bouncing off my chair and I couldn’t wait to ask certain questions.

“Ummm, please don’t shock me with the brain bug zapper, but I really don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Nervously waving her hands in the air, she then said, “You never know what will come out of my mouth, I ahh, really don’t think that you would like me being all truth speaking and everything. I’ll be good, honest I will,” her eyes were darting around the room pleading with each of us. I promise to tell the truth!” Harmony resorted to using the Girl Scout pledge sign with her hand.

I mentally humpft at that little piece of information from her past, I cannot imagine Harmony ever being a girl scout unless they gave out a badge for excessive shopping on Rodeo Drive.

That’s when Willow decided to join in on the fun and said “Harmony even back in high school you used to lie about having boyfriends and going to exotic places, I think it is only fair to assume that all you’ll be telling us is lies.” Dramatically raising her hand in the air, Willow grinned as she winked at me, “Raise your hand if you’re all for “no harm, no foul” Harmony.” Up shot my hand in the air seconding that vote!

“Hey! What do you mean that I lied back in high school? You’re the one who told Cordelia in computer class that the delete button stood for delivery. How quick you forget you big loser freak of nature!” Do you know how much work we lost that day? “I’d bite you now for that if I could you…you stupid Bitch!”

Harmony never did see “Evil Willow” because the lethal looks that Willow was shooting at Harmony made her stop mid-tirade making her gawk in shocked surprise.

Willow retorted with “if I’m so stupid then why are you the one who is chipped and dipped, Harmony.” Willow then reached out toward Riley and took the remote out of his unresisting hand and pushed the button rendering Harmony quiet and in a hypnotic state ready for instruction or questions.

Riley’s look of respect at Willow showed his admiration for her intellect as she had figured out for herself how to work the remote device without any help from him.

Grinning proudly, Willow then asked Harmony, “Okay dish, what *really* happened between you and Spike?” Willow knew that I had been briefed by Andrew on Spike’s non-corporeal status and wanted to see if what Harmony claimed to have happened regarding their coupling was the real truth.

“Spike only used me as a substitute for sex in place of that freakazoid Buffy buffalo butt. He didn’t want me to talk, make any sounds or anything, just so he could pretend that he was fucking her instead of me. I really hate her mostly because he never fucked me that good or hard before. All he wanted was for me to stay quiet while he grunted and groaned and he had his little sick fantasy.

Well screw that. The moment I realized what he was doing, I pushed him off me because I knew he was only using me and when I confronted him on it then the stupid jerk knocked me out.” Harmony’s voice was dull and had none of her usual peppy, snarky or superior tone evident in it. But the sentiment and indignation came across loud and clear as she added, “sick, loser, freak,” as an afterthought.

I was holding my hand to my mouth trying to hold back the YIPEE threatening to come out. Even so, I was still mad at Spike for even touching that cheap, whorish bimbo and…HEY! Did she actually call me buffalo butt! Okay that’s war!

Harmony, the sweet sound of my voice betrayed the venom behind it. It was the voice that Riley and Willow both knew and had their eyebrows raised in consternation. See Giles big word again, aren’t you proud?

“What’s the worse thing that’s ever happened to you, living or unliving? And give details please,” I sing-songed waiting for her answer with eager glee.

The next words out of her mouth had all of us rolling on the floor for at least 15 minutes.

“Well there was the time that I lost both my virginity’s to that impotent loser Larry. He had the nerve to poke my ass first and then come in 3 seconds flat. And then, when I insisted that he stick it where it should go, the stupid jerk argued that he didn’t want to. I told him that if he didn’t *do it* right then I would tell the whole school that he was gay. I just can’t imagine what his problem was, I mean he was a football jock and everything, it’s not like he was really gay, ya know?

After we composed ourselves and the giggles stopped then I looked around and noticed that Harmony was still sitting there like one of those pantomimes you see on the street. Shaking my head to clear it, I took one look around and noticed that Willow’s cheeks were tinted red and Riley was clearing his throat and shifting in his seat uncomfortably. As for me, I sported an ear splitting grin on my face after this little revelation.

“Well I can safely say that the chip is working okay,” Willow replied looking at me with awkward embarrassment at the bluntness of Harmony’s answer.

“Harmony can you repeat that whole thing again but only more slowly please,” I asked sweetly.

“Okay buffalo butt, Harmony flatly said until I interrupted her.

Hey! No name calling and you can stop now.” I pouted hating the way she managed to get an insult in on me even though she was rendered docile.

“Harmony,” Riley began trying to get her attention. “Leave out any insults and just give us the truth and facts from here on end.” He then nodded at me to proceed with my questioning after Harmony verbally acknowledged his command.

“Did Spike ever talk about me? Did he ever try to come see me?” I began to nervously wring my hands together, hoping to hear what I wanted to hear.

“Pfft!” Harmony snorted, “Even when he first came back all non-solid he wanted to go find you but he was being kept magically close to the amulet and couldn’t leave the city. All he kept talking about was Buffy would want him to do this and Buffy would want him to do that, it was so friggin’ annoying.”

“Harmony,” Riley warned, just the facts!

Harmony just rolled her eyes for added effect to the disgusted look on her face.”

Despite her antics, I was starting to feel guilty about the amulet at this point. I took the amulet Angel brought at face value. Even though Angel was willing to wear it, he didn’t even check it out himself and time was simply too short to do any research.

Willow and I have had extensive discussions on the magic’s that were used on the amulet with her coven involved and for the moment it was decided that whatever magic’s were used, they were used a very long time ago and some prophecy was involved. Pretty much like the scythe to be used for the slayers. We think that the amulet and the scythe were both created side by side to avert the apocalypse that “The First Evil” was trying to bring about. We theorize that both were created as part of a truce and treaty between light and dark forces to maintain the delicate balance. The records holding that information have long since disappeared so for now that is all we have.

“So what else do you know Harmony.”

“I could smell that Riley was getting extremely aroused and horny earlier when you were licking your fingers eating chocolate cake and by the way his heart was beating I thought he was going to come….”

“HARMONY SHUT UP!” Riley screamed. His face was beet red as he quickly stood to his feet, knocking his chair over, to go and cover up her mouth with his large hand.

Willow and I were laughing so hard that we had our arms wrapped around our sides gasping for air. The look on Riley’s face was priceless making quite a contrast to zombied blank look on Harmony’s face. By the time we stopped wheezing Riley was back in his chair looking mortified and giving Harmony withering side looks.

Deciding to break the awkward silence, Riley sheepishly said, “I think what Harmony said earlier, about what truths would come flying out of her mouth just bit me on the butt!” He chuckled shaking his head as he smiled and said, “I’m a guy alright! I’m not dead…even though I’m married, doesn’t mean that I can’t admire a beautiful woman as long as I don’t act on it. Please don’t tell Sam, otherwise I’ll be handed my private parts over on a silver platter as a last meal. Okay?”

His eyes pleaded with us and we both consented to keep that little tidbit to ourselves. I have to secretly admit that I was flattered when he called me a beautiful woman it is always nice to hear especially from an ex-boyfriend. Spike missage was starting to get to me, along with the fact that I felt used by my last boyfriend, at least with Riley I felt that it was sincere.

As soon as the feelings of being used hit me, my conscious kicked into high gear and I started to feel ashamed of what I was doing to Harmony. At least she had an excuse being an evil creature and I remembered how Spike had suffered when he was chipped. I felt awful and no matter how much we hated each other, who was more evil here at this point. The one who is a demon? Or the one who is a human? Somehow even though I knew that she was following her basic evil instincts, it still didn’t paint a pretty picture of myself for my current behavior. You’d think that after Spike, I would’ve learned my lesson.

“Harmony, erase that memory from your mind and that’s an order!” Riley was back in soldier mode again and ready to continue on with our meeting.

“Remember what?” Harmony nonchalantly asked.

“Okay, so what do you know that is so important regarding Angel and Spike, Harmony,” at this point I just wanted to cut to the chase and end this meeting and go to the Hyperion.

“Wesley suspected that Angel’s soul was not completely anchored and Angelus was making more and more appearances without Angel being consciously aware of it,” Harmony quickly stated.

“What!” Willow exclaimed. All the blood drained from her face making her look ashen in color. “But that’s impossible, I did the same spell as before and it should’ve kept Angelus subdued, I would’ve known if it didn’t take!” A worried look crossed Willow’s face just like it used to whenever one of her magic spells went terribly wrong. “I mean how could that even be possible?

“Bullshit!” I yelled, getting up from the chair ready to lunge across the table and rip her head off for telling such lies. This had to be the chip controlling her mind, the mere thought of Angelus being unleashed into the unsuspecting world, turned my blood into ice water. My eyes felt like they were ready to pop out of my skull as I glared at Harmony with as much hatred as only that name could invoke. I was so enraged that my jaw ached from the force of holding it shut in an effort to keep myself from yelling at her and calling her a liar.

But the most aggravating thing was that she was not reacting to me at all. Not a flinch, not a twitch, nothing. It chilled me to the bone. If she was putting on an act, then it was a pretty damn convincing one.

Unconsciously, I began to rub my arms up and down as goose bumps prickled my skin making me shiver. My breath hitch from the feeling I got of having to face that monster again. It outweighed the feeling I had when I woke up in my coffin. Somehow, I knew that if I had to kill the thing inhabiting the body of my first love, then Angel would be lost forever.

“You’re lying,” Willow accused. “The only way for it to not work, were if some powerful group were to interfere before I even performed the curse on Angelus. The only group powerful enough to do that would be the senior partners at Wolfram and Hart. And why would they want to do that? “It can’t be true, not when Angel just killed all the members of “The Black Thorn!”

“Yeah,” I agreed, “Not to mention that Angel was willing to wear the amulet and sacrifice himself. That is something that Angelus would never, ever do.”

“I don’t know anything about that, but maybe you’ll get more answers from Wesley’s journal. He wanted me to tell you that he had it hidden in a trunk underneath the Hyperion. He had Spike go and put it close to the sewer access tunnel and it is being magically cloaked with a spell to keep it from being discovered. He said that you would be able to detect the magic hiding it in case he got killed,” Harmony said.

“Why would Wesley trust you?” Willow kept shaking her head in disbelief, unable to process the thought of the unlikely duo working together.

The same thought had crossed my mind and I couldn’t wait to hear how that alliance came about. I was beginning to feel like Alice in Wonderland and how she must’ve felt when she fell through the looking glass. Bizarre just became a new reality for me.

“When Wesley picked me out of the secretarial pool, I was about to be dusted by another female vampire who was looking to be promoted over me for a higher position. I was already considered terminated by the law firm and if he had not given me the position as Angel’s personal secretary then I would have been dusted for losing that fight according to the clause in my employment contract.”

“I have no where else to go, I can’t be caught by Wolfram and Hart and I can’t go back to killing, I was never any good at it or anything else and Wesley knew that. So he had me report to him on what Angel did, where he went and who he saw and no one else knew about that except for Riley.”

Willow and I both turned a surprised gaze at Riley who had kept quiet this whole time never letting on that he and Wesley had communicated together.

“And when were you going to share that bit of important information with us?” I asked sarcastically.

“Right about now,” Riley replied his face showing no emotion like it had earlier.

“Okay so share,” I prodded, upset that it was like pulling teeth getting him to open up and tell us how he knew Wesley.

“When Wesley began going through the books at Wolfram and Hart he came across the records of the collaboration between the military and the law firm with the chip technology. He secretly contacted me and has since kept me informed about the suspicions he has had about Angelus. Namely that Angel was having black outs and was unaware of when Angelus took over.”

“He asked us to implant Harmony with the chip as part of her employment requirement so that she would not betray him. He had his own remote device to control her.

Why did you help him Riley? You didn’t know him or had any reason to trust him if he was working for Wolfram and Hart.” I don’t think that you officially ran it through your superiors, so you must be working on your own.”

“I trusted him because he was your watcher at one time and my daughter Suzy had just become a slayer. If everything I’ve read on Angelus were true even the stuff you never told me about when we were together, then I did not want my daughter to be at risk from that monster. So I took a chance and decided to trust him, besides, he never gave me any reason to doubt his good intentions.”

“Harmony said that she had information as to what happened to Angel and Spike but we have yet to hear if they are still among the undead. So are they still in one piece? I needed something to hold on to, I needed that desperately.

“I’m sorry to say that she was only saying that to hurt you, Buffy. I wasn’t really sure if she really knew something or not, because I waited for you to ask her the hard questions. I’m not happy that she lied about that and believe me when I tell you, that she will be reprimanded for that indiscretion.”

“I looked into his eyes and could tell that he meant every word.” I had gotten my hopes up only to fall for the trick played on me by Harmony. She really must’ve been desperate to be included in this meeting. I had to play along with being cruel from this point on; Riley mustn’t suspect that I had a change of heart toward Harm.

“Please tell me that reprimand will include head splitting pain,” I asked Riley.

“Count on it,” Riley replied coolly.

“And what will you do with her?” I was curious as to what they had planned for her.

“She’s got a job as a personal secretary to a politician who we are interested on keeping surveillance on. Harmony will be our eyes and ears on that assignment especially since that politician has an eye for young blonde girls.”

“Well nice to know that you’re not going to use her to clean up radioactive waste material dumped on the ocean floor.” I quipped.

“That was last week and that’s classified.” Riley wryly grinned as he winked making us laugh nervously wondering if it was a joke or not.

“One more thing Buffy,” Riley looked unsure as he began to ask, “my daughter is very precious to us and Faith, as a favor to Sam managed to keep her out of the battle when it happened between Angel and the demons. I want your personal guarantee that she will not be put at risk on dangerous assignments. I don’t think that we could survive her loss; even though she is adopted we love her like she was our own flesh and blood. So I’m asking you as a personal favor to keep her safe.”

“You’ve got my word on it. I’ll make sure that Giles, Andrew and Faith know about our agreement and keep her safe and away from danger, Okay?”

Giving me a grateful nod, Riley exhaled and gave his thanks.

One last thing, Angel managed to sneak out an envelope out of the law firm before it collapsed with the ruse that it was a letter of recommendation for Harmony. We haven’t opened it up because he wrote your name in Gaelic on the outside. He carefully hid it inside the sketch of a crossed legged gryphon representing the letter "A". Opening up a drawer he pulled out an envelope and handed it over to me.

With shaky hands I took it and gazed longingly at the beautiful ornate handwriting and drawing on it. We could use a tracking spell on it and see if we could find Angel. After a quick mental discussion with Willow, I decided to move on and end this meeting. No need to let Riley know what was contained inside, though I suspected that they had opened and read it already and then resealed it again.

One more item of business to take care of before we left, so I decided that now was a good a time as any to make amends for my earlier offensive behavior.

“Oh, um, Riley? How about assigning Harmony over to me so that she can work at the Hyperion as our receptionist? I know that Faith is going crazy trying to keep things running there and she has her hands full with the slayers in training. She would also come in handy as a sparring partner for the girls and they can have experience up close and personal with a vampire. So what do you say? Can we have her?”

I looked expectantly at Riley hoping that he couldn’t see the apprehension hidden behind my eyes. If he only knew how I truly felt about what he did to Harmony by implanting her with the chip. I felt it was cruel when they did it to Spike and I still feel that way. Even though Harmony had been a major pain to us in high school, she didn’t deserve to be used and abused by the military like some beast of burden made to heel by the cruel use of a cattle prod.

Sure, I was not happy to see Harmony at first and enjoyed hearing her embarrassing moments after her little bump and grind with Spike but when I heard her admit that she had no where else to go, it tore at me and reminded me that she was hurting like Spike used to hurt.

Willow came to the same revelation at the same time I did and she had mentally communicated with Harm to let her know that we would get her away from Riley but only if she agreed to be cursed permanently with her soul. Even in her forced docile state, she eagerly agreed to it. We had an orb of Thesula waiting at the Hyperion for Harmony and we were going to make sure that the chip was magically deactivated first chance we got.

Sometimes in fighting monsters we become the monsters by the methods we use to fight them with. Harmony will be our constant reminder of how blurred the fine line between good and evil can be so that we will not succumb to the seductive lure of dark forces. I owed this to Spike to always remember that sometimes redemption can be found in the most unlikely of places and Harmony deserved a chance for it.

Willow and I decided that I would read what was inside the envelope once we were at the Hyperion, that way I could get settled in and be surrounded by my friends when I read it.
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Well Giles, I had gotten my hopes up by assuming that Harmony would ease my pain and tell me that my vamps were alright. I won’t make that mistake again. My heart can only take so much punishment and I have to protect myself. So no matter what Angel’s letter reveals, my heart is officially closed until I can see them with my own two eyes. File this journal entry under heartbroken.

Next stop, the Hyperion, accompanied by one soon to be ensouled vampire. Not one of the vampires I had planned on bringing back mind you, but one that I think will make a nice addition to our growing family. As long as we are not left alone in a room together for longer than 5 seconds.

Then, as soon as we arrive, let the scavenger hunt begin to locate the trunk hidden in the sewer tunnels by my Spike. I’m not hoping, Giles, not really, but I’m crossing my fingers that Spike left a message for me in that trunk along with Wesley’s journal. If he did, then I can have Willow do a tracking spell on both Angel and Spike and find out once and for all if they are still residing in the land of the unliving. Heaven knows that I really need to know for sure and I am getting tired of detours. Wish me luck!

Tbc…

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My thanks to my readers and reviewers, may many blessings be bestowed upon all of you for making my rating go up! YIPEE!

Katrina, Megan, JaneAlexander, txjmfan & Jane – You guys are the best! Thanks for the reviews.

Please be patient with the Spuffy in the story, as much as I would love to have Buffy and Spike going at it full bore like rabbits eating Viagra pellets, I still want to include a story here and there.