What Was I Thinking!?!
Chapter 10
Chapter 10
The drop from the porch roof
to the ground wasn’t so bad when you hung from your fingertips. But by the time
she was, Buffy was wishing she hadn’t gone this route. The wind was kicking up
and the pretty little sundress she was wearing was flying around. It was
probably showing her white panties to anyone that happened to be nearby.
“Why is this my life?” Buffy
muttered, letting go to drop into the side yard. Her feet hit a patch of wet
grass making her delicate sandals slide out from under her. She landed on her
bottom with her legs sprawled open. “Ouch, stupid…damn it…if I’m not flashing
them one way then I am in another.”
The porch light next door flashed
on. It was probably the nosy neighbor that was always trying to get her into
trouble. She crawled on her hands and knees until she was out of view behind a tree.
After waiting a few seconds, no one appeared to be out looking, so Buffy took
off toward the back of the property.
Her family’s house was
technically in town, although it was right on the fringe. Behind their house
were some vacant lots. At one time they were going to have houses built on
them. The developers backed out, leaving the once prime pasture land to stand
as a barrier between the townies and the ranchers. Her backyard was at the end
of the street where the beginnings of the MacDonald’s ranch could be seen from.
In the back corner near the
fence was an old shed that had once been her mother’s art studio. For whatever
reasons it had long been abandoned by Joyce, only to be taken over by Buffy in
the last few years as a refuge of privacy from her family.
The glow of a cigarette by
the fence slowed her footsteps. Anticipation curled in her belly as she watched
Spike hop over the fence with ease. He dropped gracefully in front of her. No
missteps or falls for him. He slowly walked toward her. The full moon above
them moved out from behind a cloud, illuminating his face. Her breath seemed to
leave her when she saw the seriousness of his expression. Never had she beheld
such raw hunger in someone’s eyes before.
Spike’s eyes devoured her with
one glance. They moved from the red tipped toes, along her tanned legs, over
her rounded hips, to linger upon her breasts for a moment before he stared
straight into her soul. The awakening
woman in her answered his call. A cramp that started in her lower belly spread
downward to a dull throb between her legs.
She was ready for him in the
most basic way that could be between a man and a woman. It was going to happen
now. Tonight. When Spike left her this time, she wouldn’t be a virgin. He took
a step forward, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Hello, cutie,” he
whispered, sending a chill down her back.
She smiled in response,
reaching for his hand to draw him into the small shed. He walked around the
room, touching a few of the objects. The paintings her mother had left there.
The small table where some books was stacked waiting to be read. Finally he
stopped in front of the couch where Buffy spent countless hours planning out
the life she wanted. It was covered with an afghan in bright cs ans and a few
discarded throw pillows.
“I’m not afraid,” Buffy
whispered.
“I don’t want you to be,”
Spike replied, turning to her. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know you wouldn’t.”
With that she went to him,
kicking her shoes off on the way. It was no longer about checking something off
a list or getting the experience she felt she should have before she left home.
She needed what Spike could give her. His hunger for her, the way the world
fell away when he held her, and the way he made her feel wanted, loand
and
beautiful. She would give him all of her to be able to hold onto those feelings
for as long as possible.
“Are you sure?” Spike asked,
his cheek rubbing against hers. He was gathering up the hem of her skirtulliulling it toward her hips. “Tell me.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Buffy
whispered, stepping back. To show him she was, she pulled her dress over her
head, letting it drop on the floor. Proudly she stood before him in only a pair
of cotton panties with a tiny pink bow in the front. “I want you.”
“Only want?”
His hands were sliding down
her waist as he pulled her forward.
“No,” Buffy said, holding
onto his upper arm with a grip that would probably leave bruises. She was
afraid this was just a dream that she would soon awake from. “I can’t explain
it…” It was more of a case of being afraid to give a name to the feelings that
were welling up within her. What if he turned out like every other male in her
life? What if she wasn’t enough?
“I know, pet, I know,” Spike
murmured in her ear. His thumbs hooked into the waistband of the last barrier
to him. He slid them down her hips, watching what was revealed.
Buffy blushed, closing her
eyes. He had seen her earlier that day. Touched her, tasted her but then it was
still a game. Now it was so much more than she ever dreamed. She felt his hands
on her thighs and opened her eyes to find him kneeling in front of her.
“Step out of them,” he
ordered when he got to her ankles.
Dutifully she obeyed then
waited.
please him. Stepping forward she went to reach for the hem of his shirt just as
he bent down to kiss her. Her forehead collided against his chin. Stars
appeared in fron her her eyes and embarrassment flooded her face. He must think
she was a terrible klutz.
Spike was laughing. He
wrapped his arms around her to pull her to him. He kissed the spot on her head.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said. “So much
for me being a great lover. Try to undress you and I almost knock us out.”
“Thank god, you didn’t. I
could just see your father finding us unconscious on the floor. You naked, me
fully clothed, guess I would be the innocent party, huh?”
Buffy giggled like he wanted
her to. She looked up shyly and wrapped her arms around him. “You lead. I’m
scared to death to do anything now.”
Spike stepped back, turned
her toward the couch, and gently pushed. “Lie back and watch the show.”
Quickly she turned around to see if he was. His eyes were glued on her while his
tongue was massaging his upper front teeth. She smiled as she lay back and put
one arm over her head. The other hand she put on her thigh as she tried to look
seductive. He smiled and she could feel herself growing wet.
Slowly, he pulled his
clothes off. He apparently liked being watched and had no bashfulness about
being nude. Because she could almost swear he was trying to tease her as he
did. His boots were kicked off and his jeans slowly lowered. She almost gasped
as his cock bounced free and stood proudly against his stomach. He was
beautiful.
“Come here,” Buffy
whispered, crooking her finger at him. “I want to feel you.”
“Yeah, you do,” Spike
teased, lowering himself on top of her. He rolled them onto their sides and
hooked her leg over his hip. This way the back the couch was supporting their wt.
t.
“Do you like the way I feel?”
“Oh, for sure,” Buffy
giggled. He was kissing her neck while his hands roamed along her back and
bottom. All she could do was hold on. Too afraid of causing another accident of
missteps, she waited.
“Don’t you want to touch
me?” He was massaging her breast, his thumb gently flicking her nipple.
She brought her hand to his
chest, laying it flat so she could feel the heat of his skin. It womfoomforting
to be so close to him. It made her feel safe. Too safe and that frightened her.
Suddenly, she started to cry again. The past twenty-four hours had been nothing
but a roller coaster ride that was just too much for her to handle. What would
she do when he was gone?
“Shush, pet,” Spike
whispered, pulling her against him. He let her cry, playing with her hair and
murmuring words of comfort. Everything she had been holding onto seemed to pour
from her. It had been years since she felt like anyone really cared about her.
Cordelia was her best friend, but she couldn’t right the wrongs in Buffy’s
life. Anyone standing up to her father was too much to ask, but somehow Spike
had done it twice. Even now he was defying her parent’s rule by being there
with her.
“Why are you so nice to me?”
Buffy asked. Her face was still burie his his neck. She was too frightened to
find out that sex was all he was really after. If it was, she knew that she
would never trust again.
“Look at me,” Spike
commanded, lifting her chin with his hand. “You are special. Too special to let
this people bring you down so much. You’re going to go places and be someone.
And I’d like to know that somewhere along the line that I had a chance to know
you.”
“Make love to me,” Buffy
whispered. Her heart was given to this man. He had come along to give her the
boost she needed and she knew he would always be with her.
>
“I don’t think you’re
ready.”
“Yes, I am.”
She pushed him back until
she was able to straddle him.
“Nope,” Spike said, flipping
her so that she was the one on the bottom. “No sex.”
She wrapped her legs around
him so that his cock lay heavy on her stomach between them. The passion was strong
in his eyes as he stared down at her. There was no denying what was between
them. It was hotter than a July day. She rocked a little, rubbing against his
length. His breath caught and his eyes closed.
“Buffy, please,” Spike
pleaded. “I don’t have the strength to resist you.”
“Don’t then,” Buffy
whispered. She clutched at his waist and pushed against him again. “All I know
is that if I don’t make love to you, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
His body slid down hers a
little until he was prodding at her entrance. Their eyes connected as he
started to push into her. There was no fear. Only relief as he slowly filled
her. There was no pain, only a stretching that bordered on uncomfortable. He
stared down at her and she thought she saw a spark of anger in his eyes.
“I thought you saou wou were
a virgin?” Spike asked, once he was deep inside of her.
“I am.”
“It didn’t feel like it,”
Spike said suspiciously.
“I’m not lying,” Buffy said.
She pushed at his shoulders. How could he think she would lie about something
like that? It hurt. “How can you accuse me of that?”
“It was too soon,” Spike
said, sinking down on top of her. He laughed. “What the hell are we doing?
We’ve only known each other a day.”
“I’m falling in love,” Buffy
bravely whispered. If she didn’t say it, she felt like she would burst from all
emo emotions tangling inside of her. “I didn’t want to or mean to, but I am.”
He stiffened in her arms and
she thought he might run, but when he pulled back his eyes were filled with
wonder. In that instant she knew everything was going to be all right. He was
just as frightened as she was. She cupped his face, stroking along his
cheekbone with her thumb. With a smile, she pulled him down for a kiss.
It sealed whatever was
happening between them. Their tongues played and coaxed each other. It stoked
the fire and he began to move within her. Gently at first so she could learn
his rhythm. Her body relaxed, but yet seemed to be aligning with his. It let
them move together as one being. His strokes going further inside her until she
felt there wasn’t any place else for him to go.
It didn’t seem to be enough
though. She moved her hips up to receive his thrust. His cock slipped even
further inside. It slid along her walls and a spot deep within her that gave
her a pleasured rush she had never known before. Buffy threw her back emitting
a keening sound that reverberated around them. He smiled down at her, grinding
into that spot, taking her so high, she thought she could fly.
“Oh, god, Spike, oh, oh,”
Buffy moaned, as the first feelings of her orgasm darted through her.
“Shhh,” Spike grunted,
quickening his movements. “You scream and the whole bloody neighborhood will be
out here.”
She didn’t care. Nothing had
ever felt this good. She never wanted it to end. Pushing up with her heels, she
sought the simulation she craved. Somehow knowing what she was seeking, he
changed his movements so that her clit received the attention it needed.
“Let it go,” Spike pleaded
in her ear. His breath was hot against her skin. He bit on her lobe as she
clutched at his ass. His concern for her pleasure before his own made her love
for him deepen. He was right. They were crazy, but suddenly for the first time
in her life it didn’t matter.
Spike slipped his hand between
them. She squirmed up to meet his questing fingers. He pressed against her clit
with just the right pressure. It was all she needed to cum. It tore through her
and she bit down on his shoulder to keep from screaming. He pounded into her
even faster as she held him tightly. Suddenly he jerked, sighed then quivered
as he collapsed on top of her. Something sticky flooded her insides. They both
froze as they realized they hadn’t used protection.
al'>Buffy quickly counted in her
head. It was a pretty safe time, she realized with relief. Spike pulled back so
that he was sitting between her legs. She scrambled back, grabbing the afghan
to cover herself with.
“It’s the end of my cycle,”
Buffy said, plucking at some loosened yarn, too afraid to look at him. “It should
be okay.”
“When are you due?” Spike
softly asked.
“In a week,” Buffy answered.
She looked up at him. “It will be fine. We’ll just have to be careful from now
on.”
Spike nodded and opened his
arms. Gratefully she went to him. It was then that she remembered he would be
gone when the time came to find out.
“I’ll be here,” Spike said,
as if he could read her thoughts. “LA is only an hour away.”
“It may as well be a
million,” Buffy whispered forlornly. He never had to come back if he didn’t
want to.
She missed him already.