Finding Strength

Please die disclaimers in chapter 1

Chapter 10

Bill looked at the couple across the counter of his gift shop. He knew Buffy wouldn’t be staying for long, but to lose her as an employee now, right before Ocean Festival, was going to be a bit painful. Especially since Mike was out sick.

Buffy frowned at him. “I truly am sorry, Bill, but it is time I made it back home now. I really am sorry for giving you no notice and all, but….”

Giles gazed at Buffy’s boss, feeling sympathetic for the man. He was trying to run a small town business after all, and Giles could relate to that to some extent. “I wish there was something I could do to help you, sir.”

And that is how Giles ended up with a trunk full of different kinds of canned seafood, and souvenirs for everyone in Sunnydale. But as he drove down the road with Buffy’s hand held in his, all he could do was smile.

They had phoned Dawn before heading back. Buffy had reassured Dawn that she was fine, and that Giles was taking her home, but not to expect them too soon, because they were going to make their way back leisurely. Dawn could tell by the sound of both their voices that things between the Watcher and Slayer had truly improved, and she hung up the phone with a huge smile plastered on her face.

Buffy was in no real hurry to get back to Sunnydale. She knew she still had issues to deal with, specifically Willow. And she was really enjoying basking in her love with Giles, and keeping him all to herself.

They made frequent stops along their way. That first night they stayed in Ashland, a lovely Shakespearean town on the southern Oregon border. They both wished it was the season for the performances to be going on, and Giles promised her that they would come back one summer during the festival, and take in a play or two at the outdoor pavilion.

They made love all night in a quaint bed and breakfast.

They missed breakfast.

They didn’t care.

A few days later, Giles pulled into Revello Drive. It was way past dinner time, and the lights were on and welcoming in the Summers’ house. Giles switched off the engine, and the two sat there for a bit, looking at the entrance of the house, and then back at each other. Giles smiled, brought her hand to his lips, and brushed her knuckles with a kiss. “Ready?” He didn’t drop her hand, and she could feel his warm breath all around her hand. She held his gaze, and smiled hesitantly at him. “I guess.”

He squeezed her hand with another smile, and then released her. They got out of the car, and were met at the front door with Dawn throwing it open and lunging into her sister’s arms. As they held each other, both crying and saying endearments to each o, Gi, Giles smiled. It was good to be back, as long as he was with her.

Willow stood at the door, just inside the entrance. Behind her gazed out Xander, Tara and Anya. When Dawn released the Slayer, she looked up and saw all her friends standing there. She smiled. “Hi, guys.”

The biggest group hug ever in the history of Sunnydale then took place.

Xander, being food guy, ordered pizza for everyone. While they ate, Buffy told them all about her journey. Giles went out and got the assorted gifts from Windy Cove, passing them all around. Much laughing and giggling filled the living room, but eventually Buffy knew she had to try and explain why she left, and what she had found on the beach in Windy Cove.

The group sensed the change in Buffy, and anticipated the seriousness of the conversation that was about to take place. Buffy was sitting on the sofa, with Dawn on her right, and Giles on her le The The rest of the group was scattered all around the floor in front of them, Willow resting on Tara’s lap, and Xander and Anya snuggling together. But all of their eyes were on Buffy. She glanced at Giles before she began, and then took his hand into hers. He smiled down at her. All eyes were on their hands, and then on Buffy’s face as she began to talk.

“First, I want to thank you all for giving me this time to heal. When you learned where I was, you could have all came and tried to drag me back. But you were patient, and didn’t, and I appreciate that.”

She looked at Willow. “Willow, I need to say some things to you that you might find difficult, but if we are going to be like we were before, I have to tell you some things, and I need you to be patient and let me finish, and know that no matter what, I love you. Okay?”

Willow nodded at her friend, and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Okay.”

Buffy took a deep breath. “Willow, what you did, bringing me back like that, it was wrong. You have messed with forces that are unimaginable. I’m not magic girl, or knowledge girl, but to change the balance of supernatural things like life and death like that, cannot be good. I think…I think we were all lucky. For whatever reason, I came back whole. But it hasn’t been easy. You must promise me, that no matter what, you will never ever do this again. When I die, you must promise me to let me rest in peace next time, as it is meant to be.”

At the talk of her death, Giles had squeezed her hand, and he covered his face with his other hands to hide the grief on his face. Buffy turned to him. “It will be a long time from now, Giles. I promise. I have you to take care of me, remember?”

He hugged her to his side, nodding.

Buffy turned her gaze back to Willow. “Promise?”

Willow jumped up from the floor, out of Tara’s arms, and fell into Buffy’s embrace. “I promise, Buffy. But you promise that I won’t have to keep that promise, okay?”

After breaking the hug, Willow returned to her lover’s arms on the floor at the foot of the sofa.

“Giles and I have made a promise to each other, and I think it should include all of us now. In the past, we have all said and done things we regret. Hurt each other terribly. It seems we always hurt the ones we love the most. But from now on, that changes. From now on, we are always honest with each other about our thoughts and feelings. It’s holding back that has caused us so much pain over the years. Secrets from one another have only caused our friendships to come near the breaking point. “

“But the past is the past, and it stays in the past. From now on we go forward, learning from those past mistakes, but not dwelling on them, or feeling guilty because of them, or running from them. No more secrets.”

At this statement she scooted even closer to Giles. “Giles and I almost lost each other because we held back our feelings, hid things from one another. I took his support for granted too often, and didn’t rely on myself. That’s what the past few weeks on my own have taught me. I love having you all in my life. We are a family, and I am quite literally alive because of all of you. And not just because of that spell, but because of your love and support. But in saying that, I also now know I can depend on myself. I have the power within me again to fight the darkness. I was weak and lost, but I found my strength again on that beach.”

Xander began to softly whistle “Amazing Grace” under his breath until Willow stretched out and kicked his leg. “Ow! Hey,” he mumbled and rubbed the new bruise on his leg.

Dawn turned to her sister. “I don’t think I get what all you are saying, Buffy.”

Buffy tried to gather her thoughts before speaking. “It’s hard for me to put everything into words. I guess what I am trying to say is this: I love all of you, and I want all of you in my life. I’ve shut you all out for so long, and I won’t do that anymore. But I also know, that when I am alone, I’m never really alone. You are all inside of me. You all are my strength.” She turned back to Giles. “And you are my home.”

He held her tightly to his side, his love and pride showing out of his eyes. After a few moments, they realized they weren’t alone when coughing and clearing of throats broke them out of their thrall.

Dawn, with a huge grin on her face, had to state the obvious. “So, all that being said, you and Giles are together now?”

“I bet you have great orgasms together!” Giles and Buffy turned beet red, and Xander covered Anya’s mouth with a hand.

“Well, I for one think it’s about time.” Tara beamed at the happy couple.

“Thank you, Tara.” Giles smiled at the Wicca.

Dawn began to yawn wildly, and the group broke up to get to bed. Xander and Anya returned to his apartment, and Willow left to be with Tara. Dawn headed upstairs, leaving Giles and Buffy alone.

Giles pulled her in for a long kiss. When they finally had to come up for air, they stood there in each other’s arms. Buffy ran her hands up underneath his jacket, feeling his back through the fabric of his shirt. “Stay with me tonight? Stay here, with me?”

“Buffy, I never want to spend a night without you in my arms. But…”

She looked up at him, “But?”

He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. She was a vision, and he didn’t want to be apart from her even for a moment. “Buffy, these last few days have been the happiest in my life.”

“Mine too.” She brushed his lips with her own. “But you still have ‘but face’.”

He smiagaiagain. “Yes, well, I think it best if I return to my old place tonight.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Well, for one thing, Dawn is here, and…Buffy, just trust me in this. I promise it’s only for this one night. Come by my place for breakfast?”

Buffy was tired, and her own bed would feel like heaven after sleeping on that worn out mattress. “I guess I can live without you for one night. I mean that’s what this whole thing has been about, right? Me being strong without you?”

He growled and kissed her again. “I hope not.” But he was smiling. “I’ll see you in the morning then, love?”

She kissed him on the cheek, and whispered in his ear, “As soon as the sun comes up.” They melted into each other again for one last kiss, and then he left.

Buffy was right, however. Her old bed in her old room was a piece of heaven, and she slept with a smile on her face.

The next morning she knocked softly on Giles’ door. When he failed to answer it, she got concerned, and let herself in.

Daisies were everywhere, covering every surface imaginable. Candles were lit and placed in strategic places around the room. A table was in the middle of the room, covered with a silver place setting, with various breakfast foods and more candlelight.

But what caught her breath was Giles. He was standing just at the bottom of the stairs, wearing only his robe, and holding a guitar in his hands. Buffy closed the door behind her as he began to sing.

“When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home

When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say, "use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night"
Well I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
Whenever we're together, that's my home

Home can be the Pennsylvania turnpike, or
Indiana's early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you

Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home

If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my siTherThere's a roof above and good walls all around
You're my castle, you're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home.
You're my home.”

Buffy hadn’t moved from her place in front of the door. Tears were falling from her eyes, and she was so caught up in the emotional moment that she found herself quite paralyzed and speechless.
When he finished the song, Giles carefully set the guitar down against the stairwell, took a box out of rob robe’s pocket and came to kneel before Buffy. He opened the box before her, and a diamond engagement ring, which had been his grandmother’s, was snuggled in the velvet lining.
“Buffy, my love, my home, my heart. Will you honor me by becoming my wife?”
She stared at him in shock. Seconds ticked by, and Giles became nervous, when suddenly she fell down, holding him in her arms, sobbing her answer into his. “. “Yes, oh yes, oh yes.”
They never saw Spike hiding in the eaves by the front window. When he saw Buffy fall to her knees before her Watcher, and accept his proposal, the vampire sighed heavily. Then he smiled a haltingly sad smile, rubbed his eyes, and made his way to his old black car with the tinted windows. The sun was barely up gracing the sky. As it rose, Spike drove out of Sunnydale, leaving the Slayer and her Watcher in peace.

The End
(You’re My Home, written by Billy Joel)