A Viking in L A

Disclaimer: Not mine. I make no profit from this, I do it simply for my own perverse pleasure. Joss is God.

Part 1

The night air was warm as it rushed past Xanders face. He and Spike were en route to L A, home of the Lakers, the Kings, and one souled vampire detective. Said detective had no idea they were coming. The Scoobies were in whole hearted agreement to keep their secret as long as they left town for a few days.

Since Xander and Spike had become a couple they were constantly getting into trouble. Who knew Spike had such a playful side? It seems he just needed a partner in crime, that and a guarantee that he wouldn't be staked for his efforts. Well Xander had always been a big kid at heart so it was no surprise to the others that he would go along with Spike's outrageous schemes. Replacing Amy with a gerbil one day and then a guinea pig the next almost drove Willow into hysterics. Then there was the night they got Giles drunk. After he passed out they chained him up and left him in the tub. Sure they wrapped him in a blanket and gave him a pillow, but still. The worst, in Buffy's opinion anyway, was when they mixed food coloring into her hair conditioner, leaving her hair blue for two days before she could figure out how to fix it.

Tara and Dawn had been spared their devilish plots only because they had allied themselves with the vampires. Tara by keeping Willow occupied long enough for them to make the switch and Dawn had snuck Buffys conditioner over to Xander's so they could 'doctor' it. At least the vampires that Buffy slayed for those two days died laughing.

Spike and Xander had talked about Angel and his role in defeating Thor as well as his offer of friendship toward Spike. For Spikes sake Xander was willing to give another try at getting to know Angel. Besides, he knew it would irritate the older vampire to learn that he and Spike were mated and therefore Xander was now family. Spike had explained that while Dru was his Sire as she had turned him, Angelus had taught him and had claimed him as Childe. It sounded very 'redneck' to Xander. Angel was Spike's Grandsire and yet he was his Sire as well. But then again, vampire families were an incestuous bunch. The vamp who sired you was technically your parent, and yet there was always sex involved. Xander scrunched up his face at that thought, he decided to think of other less icky things.

"What are you thinking about luv?"

"Incest."

"What? You are bloody strange sometimes you know that?"

"Yep, but that's why you love me."

"Keep telling yourself that. I love you despite the fact that yer strange."

"Seriously, I was thinking how weird your family is. Angel is both your Grandsire and your Sire, Dru is your Sire and your sister, and you've had sex with both of them."

"Oh, well when you put it that way, it does sound like incest don't it.?"

"Yep."

"Xan?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't put it that way again, okay pet?"

"No problem there Spike, it kinda grosses me out. Then again the fact that you fucked Angel grosses me out anyway."

"Hey! I never fucked Angel! I had sex with Angelus, and he fucked me thank you very much."

"You mean you and Angelus never....switched sides?"

"Nah, it was always about dominance with him. I was just another tool to get his rocks off."

"Oh, I just assumed that you had, you know, fucked him as well."

"Nope. You’re the first bloke I've been 'George' with."

"Wow. But you seemed to know what you were doing when we first...."

"It's not difficult, I'd been on the bottom before and I know what feels good. So I just applied my knowledge. 'Sides I was horny as hell, and I didn't want to give you reason to change your mind."

"Not likely that would have happened. But I'm glad I was your first."

"So am I love. Oh turn left up here, we're almost there."

Two minutes later they were parked out front of Angel Investigations. Xander looked up at the huge empty hotel and whistled.

"Deadboy sure knows how to make an impression. Think he'll have an empty room for us?"

"I'm sure we can convince him to let us stay. We'll leave off on the glue in his hair gel 'till the day we're leaving though eh?"

"Yeah, wouldn't want to piss him off too early into our visit. Besides, I think the loud obnoxious sex noises will be enough for now."

"Mmm. I like the way you think luv."

"Yeah, as long as I'm thinking about sex."

The two vampires entered the hotel with arms wrapped around each other. Cordelia was in the lobby when they walked in.

"Xander! Oh my God! It is soooo good to see you!"

"Hey Cordy. You look good, demonness suits you."

"I could say the same about you. What's with the blonde menace? You and him dating or something?"

"Or something."

"Really? Since when are you gay? And I gotta tell you, even I think you can do better!"

Xander growled at Cordelia and flashed his game face at her.

"I don't suggest insulting my MATE again princess, it wouldn't be in your best interest."

Spike wrapped his arms around Xander and kissed him softly on the lips. Xander pulled Spike closer and held him while he put the demon in check. He usually had no problem controlling it, except when he felt there was a threat to his mate or his family, the Scoobies.

"Calm down luv, no harm done. She's just bein' her usual charmin' self."

"Sorry Cordy, demon's a little over protective. I know you didn't mean it."

"Okaaaay, I'm going to let Angel know you guys are here. Have a seat."

Cordelia went upstairs and knocked on Angels door. Angel opened the door and took in the distressed look on his seers face.

"Cordelia, what's wrong.?"

"Xander and Spike are here, and Xander growled at me. Showed me his face and everything. That's not the way strange part though. Spike, evil soulless Spike, defended me ... sort of ... and calmed Xander down. Angel, he growled at me!"

"What did you say? What exactly happened.?"

"Well, they came in all 'arms around each other' and I may have said something along the line of 'Xander you can do better than Spike' and then he went all demony on me and told me to leave his mate alone. Then Spike did the calming thing and Xander apologized. Said his demon was very possessive or something."

"Mate? Are you sure he said Spike was his mate?"

"Yeah, why?"

Angel just groaned and started thumping his head against the door jamb. Okay so it wasn't the seventh circle of Hell, but it was close. Xander was family now, he now had an eternity of Xander Harris - son in law - to look forward to.

"If this doesn't earn me redemption, nothing will!"

Angel made his way down the steps to greet them, a confused Cordelia following behind. At the bottom of the stairs, sat Xander and Spike. Kissing like there was no tomorrow. Angel sighed and shook his head. Cordelia bit her tongue before she said something else that would make Xander go all GRRR at her.

"Cordy, take the night off. Go home, there's no reason for both of us to suffer."

"Thanks Angel, I am so out of here."

"Call me if you have a vision."

"I will. Have a good night."

Angel watched as Cordy left, leaving him alone in the hotel with the two vampires who were currently joined at the lips. He sighed the sigh of the damned. He cleared his throat quite loudly to gain their attention. Two innocent faces peered up at him with 'who me?' looks plastered across them.

"Eighth circle, it's gotta be at least the eighth!"

"What's that poof?"

"I'm in hell aren't I? I've been dusted and this is my personal hell."

"Nah, if this was hell pet, Slutty would be shagging Captain America on yer bed while you were chained to the wall and forced to watch."

"So this is what then? Purgatory?"

"Nope. Me and Xan here just came to visit. Sunnyhell's pretty slow right now, thought we'd take in the action of the big city."

"And you want to stay here."

"Yep."

"Always free-loading Spike. When are you going to grow up?"

Xander and Spike both cracked up at that remark. Since Willow had changed all of Thor's holdings over to Xander he now had more money than Bill Gates. And since Spike was his mate, he had access to all of it. A proper ID had been set up for Spike - William Bradshaw - and he had his own accounts as well. Just in case anything ever happened, Xander wanted to make sure Spike could provide for himself without depending on others. Xander had paid off Buffy's debts, all three girls tuition, set up a trust fund for Dawn and put money in the bank for Buffy so she could focus on college, slaying, and raising Dawn. Buffy didn't want to take it at first but after Xander pointed out that she had to do what was best for her sister, she relented and thanked him. Giles was very proud of Xander, he even forgave him for chaining him up in the tub.

Angel watched in confusion as his Childe and his Childes mate laughed uncontrollably on the stairs. He didn't know what was so funny. At his perplexed look the two laughed even harder.