Whole New World

Whole New World

Author: ShyAmberLover
E-mail: sammijoylaughingalot@hotmail.com
Spoilers: None, tis totally my own mind, which is a tad scary as you’ll soon see.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: vampireW/vampireT, Willow/Other, Tara/ Faith
Characters: Vampire Willow, Vampire Tara, Vamp Xander, Puppy, Dark Slayer Buffy, Slayer Faith, Giles, Anya, Spike
Disclaimer: All characters of BtVS and its universe are all rights and possessions of Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. This is just me doing my thing and hoping that it makes sense without causing too much offence. Oh and made for absolutely no profit.

Summary: Season six Tara leaves Willow leaves Sunnydale, doesn’t die, Willow wants to die, but becomes a vampire instead

Warnings: language, Puppy ownership, Light BDSM/Spanking of the Xander Bare Ass, anal, m/f and f/f issues of suicide and prostitution. This story is sometimes explicit and is not of the faint of heart, I don’t mean to offend, but I am aware I may do.

Feedback: This is my first fic so bring it on, she naively says.

Chapter One

After sitting in the bathroom in sheer shock at the loss of her lover, Willow eventually started to sob her grief, at her own shame of what she had done.

“How-could-you-have-been-so-stupid” She punished herself banging her head back against the wall. “How could you have ruined something so perfect? Stupid Willow! You have lost her!” Tears now streamed freely down her cheeks and Willow made no move to brush them aside, why bother? No one else would care. Why should she?

Willow heard hurried footsteps approach on the landing, her heart started to hammer in her chest in the hope of her lover’s return ‘ex lover, now’ she thought sadly. In a irrational strain of hope Willow quickly wiped her tears in an effort not to appear too dishevelled to her love, she sat up against the wall, felt her heart beat gush in her ears and the footsteps slow as they came in her direction.

Then they stopped, right inside the doorframe Willow guessed. For she dare not look up for fear of being disappointed or worse still she see the disappointment in Tara’s eyes again. So much conflict of hope and fear was making her stomach do flip flops, but after several deep calming breaths Willow finally found the strength to look up.

When she did Willow let out a small whimper at the sight of her beautiful Tara, even in sorrow she was beautiful, she thought sadly ‘But she’s not your Tara anymore’. Willing herself to maintain eye contact with Tara, tears once again began to seep from her eyes and in vain she tried to wipe them away.

“W-Willow, I want to let you know so that there’s no misunderstanding that I am leaving Sunnydale, I’m transferring to a university in Scotland, Aunt Jane said she had found a place for me in a course there. H-Hopefully it should make it easier for both of us.” Tara lowered her eyes to the ground trying to hide her own grief at the situation. Risking a look back at Willow, she wished she hadn’t as she saw the vacant expression of her eyes staring at nothing in particular lost in her own world of pain. Her heart told her to reach out to Willow to wrap her in her arms, to comfort her and keep her safe through the difficult times.

However determined to be strong, Tara continued.

“Willow” She whispered, almost like she was breathing the word. Willow would always love the way Tara would say her name like that, so reverent so much care was encased just her voice of one word alone. God what had she done? Willow looked up once again into the deep blue pools and waited patiently for Tara to continue.

“Willow I want you to know that I believe in you, I know you can beat this I know that you are strong. Although I still love you, I can’t stay it hurts too much.” Tara’s own tears made an appearance tainting her pale complexion. Brushing them aside she moved forward to Willow giving into her hearts desire, she slowly knelt on the floor beside her picking up the delicate hands in her own, she squeezed them gently.

“Willow, I want you to know that I forgive you, cause I know that you’re going to beat yourself up over this. I know you love.” Tara lovingly stroked her fingers over the soft warm palms. “But Willow it’s not enough, I don’t trust you.” She stated firmly. “And after what you did, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.” She looked down at their joint hands, allowing a small smile at the sight of Willow’s hands constantly running and moving over her own. Willow was never completely still especially when nervous.

“So this is goodbye, I trust in Buffy, Xander and Dawn, I know that they’ll look after you. I have faith in your recovery.” Tara stroked aside some hair caught in Willow’s face, mapping her features one last time. She noted how Willow was so uncharacteristically silent, hoping that at last Willow was starting to understand the magnitude of what she had done.

Tara had one last thing to ask from Willow before she left, such a small little thing, yet she was terrified of the response, which was silly because she was already 99% sure of willow ‘s answer.

After several long moments of quiet contemplation and stroking each others hands Tara finally worked up the courage to ask, squeezing Willow’s hands to get her attention, she felt relief as she looked lovingly yet reservedly into the pools of green.

“Tara?” Willow asked finally finding her voice among the serge of emotions welling up inside.

“Willow c-c-c-can I h-have a hug please?” Tara timidly asked. Within a heartbeat Willow had flung herself into Tara’s lap throwing her arms wildly round Tara’s back pulling her as close as was physically possible.

Running her hands up and down her sides Willow was luxuriating one last time of the feeling of having Tara in her arms, wanting nothing more than to stay that way forever.

It was then that both women finally allowed themselves to cry, and they wept in earnest at their mutual loss. Willow more so in knowing that she was the one who caused it. Neither witch knew how long they were rapped up in each other, but Tara inevitably was the first one to end it. She was always the strong one. Willow knew this now.

Tara cautiously got to her feet; she would have walked away but for the one hand that still kept her captive. She looked one last time into Willow’s green orbs.

“Bye Willow, I’ll always love you baby.”

“I love you too Tara, always.” Willow said emphatically. With one last squeeze Tara turned to leave Willow wallowing in her grief.

As she walked down the stairs she heard the heart rendering cry of her lover.

“Taraaaaaaaaaagh” followed by heavy heaving sobs, they stopped Tara in her tracks. ‘it would be so easy to just go back there, to cuddle and settle in for the night… but what good would that do. Willow needs to learn. We both do.’ With that Tara continued down the stairs out of the house.

Out of Willow’s life.

******

That was the last time Willow ever saw Tara in her life, and as soon as she left Willow was analysing the whole situation wishing that she had said more, that she had acted less desperately. Feeling absolutely drained Willow slumped back against the wall and wept.

That’s how Buffy found her, Dawn had seen her like that too, but simply walked on by, being too angry at Willow to care for her right now, she was to wrapped up in her own loss of the surrogate mother she had come to love so much.

Upon entering the house all Buffy wanted to do was give the redhead a piece of her mind give her some kind of impetus to kick back against, cause this abuse couldn’t carry on anymore, it wasn’t fare on anybody, what she didn’t know was that Willow was beating her self up enough for the both of them.

Buffy approached the contorted wails with trepidation, she lead them to the bathroom, and suddenly all her anger at the witch drained away, at the sight of her best friend, huddled into herself on the floor, crying out her heart.

“Oh Will” She sighed, she put the slightest touch of her hand on Willow’s shoulder in order to make eye contact. It was enough, and before long she had a weeping Willow tucked into her shoulder, sobbing for all she was worth.

“I’ve l-lost her Buffy, I’ve really lost-her-this-time” Willow gasped between sobs. “What do I do now? Goddess I love her so much it always hurts without her next to me.”

Buffy just sat there silently comforting her friend, knowing that she didn’t have the answers, knowing that Willow would ultimulty have to find her own, way. All she could do was be there, and that’s what Buffy did.

She scooped Willow off the bathroom floor, and carried her to her own room, fearing that Willow wouldn’t be able to face her own at the moment, and she knew she was right as she heard another whimper from Willow at the sight of her room as they passed it.

She walked solemnly to her bed and laid Willow down, she made a move to walk away, but was stopped by a pitiful whimper.

“No, Buffy please don’t leave me too” Her voice so pleading.

Buffy turned on her heals and approached the bed with hands out stretched catching Willow’s in her own.

“Will, I have Slaying duties, to do, you know I have to go.” And with that she left.

Leaving Willow alone in the bed, she curled herself up in a ball and continued to weep into her sleep.

In the following days and weeks Buffy was the only one willing to be there for Willow. Dawn was never really around anymore, she took any excuse to get out of the house, it was guessed that she went to the library, because her grades were improving considerably. So from picking her wherever she was huddled, and carrying her to bed to making sure she actually ate the necessary three meals a day. Even though Willow wasn’t really a willing participant in the ritual feeding she did comply.

When Slayer duties caused Willow to be left alone in her own room, that was when it hurt the most. That was when Willow slipped into her old fashioned ways of letting the quick magic trick comfort away her pain, temporarily.

Normally she would magic a photo to life so that both Willow and Tara became animate in it, and moved as she remembered they did. However tonight was different, tonight she needed more, all she wanted was to lie in Tara’s embrace once more. She sat on their bed in her pyjamas (she had no reason to get dressed in the evenings, not anymore) looked around their/ her room racking her brain for any magical help. Her eye’s dared to look into the far corner, where Tara’s forgotten box lay untouched by her own hands, as she had fear should would taint it with her darkness. Her own self-loathing had prevented her from even staring at it too long until now.

Willow slowly opened it up and a fresh wave of tears sprung forth. The dress, that lovely flowing dress, it was one of her favourites on Tara. So cottony and light, yet it accentuated her curves perfectly with the pale blue bringing out the depth of her eyes. Willow remembered with a haunting smile how much Tara had loved to wear it over the summer, saying it made her feel oh so sexy especially when she didn’t wear any under, she said it felt as though the dress wasn’t even there at all. Willow just closed her eyes and let herself remember those easy days of the summer, she settled herself on the floor and let herself remember their happiness.

******

Flashback

“Please baby, just for me, just for today!” Willow made her most doeful eyes at her girlfriend. All Willow wanted was for Tara to go commando for one day. She did it quite often and luckily had enough clothes for not have to do the washing too much. Willow knew how good it felt to have the most innocent of hugs with Tara with braless breasts beneath her clothes it was damn close to heaven.

Tara was stood before her freshly showered looking gorgeous as ever, and she had to admit she did like the simple task of walking to the showers in her robe alone, she loved the naughtiness of it. Why not live a little. She slowly pulled off her bathrobe before Willow’s eager eyes, gently caressing her own skin as she did so.

“Oh wow, baby.” Willow drooled at the sight of Tara touching herself. She stood motionless as she watched Tara shrug the robe off her shoulders, enjoying watching her breasts jiggle slightly at the movement.

Tara allowed a lopsided smile at Willow’s entranced state her eyes still fixed at her breasts. She let the robe to slide easily down her shapely arms, pooling on the floor behind her.

“Willow? Would you pass me my dress please?” She whispered huskily, genuinely surprised at her own arousal.

“Do I have to?” Willow whined, making no move to pick up the requested dress, instead she took a step closer to her girlfriend. “We do, after all have all day until we actually need to be anywhere. Is it absolutely necessary that we get dressed right now?” She asked demurely walking straight towards Tara stopping from an inch before her lifting her hands to trace Tara’s delectable skin.

Willow started at the dip in Tara’s collarbone, and worked each finger up following the V up both sides, so lightly it tickled Tara’s skin eliciting a giggle from the blond.

“Shh you, this is supposed to be sensual not funny” Willow warned with a smirk. How she loved her playful blonde. She continued her journey Willow’s eyes following her fingers as she memorised the skin brushing down to Tara’s hands and taking them in her own entwining there fingers as she did so.

“So will you stay here with me here today baby?” She put on her best pout.

At Tara’s lack of response Willow pressed further, and added her clinching argument by way of demonstration, pulling Tara into her for a deep bone melting kiss. Tara couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of her naked body against Willow’s still robed one, the feeling was exquisite. Tara brushed the palms of her hands down the front of Willow’s body earning a shiver from the witch, who deepened the kiss. Tongues duelling, wrapping themselves around their partner and stroking them to the point of madness.

“Mmm Tara” Willow breathed, she stole another kiss.

“Is- Kiss-that- kiss- a- kiss-yes?” kiss, kiss, kiss. Willow stepped back to look into Tara’s eyes, she already knew she had won.

“Yay, you made the right decision baby”

“I know” Tara whispered huskily. She pulled Willow tight against her again, and they resumed the tonsil hockey.

Willow drove the pair towards the bed, her hands trailing up and down Tara’s back shaping the muscles in her hands, squeezing them until Tara moaned in her mouth.

“Bed now sweetie”

“Ah ha, you’ll here no complaints from me” Willow said in victory.

“But…” Willow took a sharp intake of breath. What did Tara want whatever it was she would do it as long as it meant Tara was happy Willow would willingly do anything.

Tara grabbed the lapels of Willow’s robe and slipped her hands underneath the silk material stroking the even more silky skin. Pushing the material aside Tara whispered huskily. “There is a strict no robe rule in our bed, no robes or clothing allowed today.” And with that Tara pulled the robe apart sliding her hands down Willow’s delectable skin as she did so, this earning a low groan from the redhead who reached down and grabbed the witches ass in response squeezing it with punishing fierceness.

As soon as the robe fell to the floor Tara pulled Willow into her and the two toppled on to the bed in a fit of giggles.

“Goddess I love you Willow, you mean the world to me” Tara said with the up most devotion as she stroked her hands reverently over Willow’s back.

Willow lifted herself up off the Tara’s chest staring deeply into her lover’s eyes. “Tara I love you too, you are the only woman I ever want to be with.” Seeing the love flowing freely from Tara, Willow dipped down and kissed her deeply her tongue diving in with no resistance pushing insistently forward with her hips, Willow urged Tara up to the top of the bed with as she prowled on after her.

Without breaking the kiss the two made it too the top of the bed in one continuous heaving state. “Tara Baby I want today to be all about you, I want to make love to you, I want to give myself to you. Will you let me do that?” Willow whispered as she hovered over her lover.

“Oh yes!” Tara nodded emphatically. Tara pulled Willow down and into her arms for a bone-melting kiss, swiftly letting her hands drift down to Willow’s ass, squeezing tightly.

“Oh baby, you are my eternal turn on.” Willow groaned into Tara’s mouth.

End Flashback

Willow remembered that afternoon with a ghost of a smile; she remembered how things used to be before she screwed up. Willow sat there for hours remembering every touch and caress that had passed between the two of them that wonderful day.

***