Once More With Slash

Copyright Disclaimer: I own none of these characters or the Buffy universe. All material relating to Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Wedon and WB. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no profit from this story.

Author's Note: I plan to play around with the time-line and canon events a little (to suit my own nefarious purposes! Mwhahah!) At this stage assume that everything is the same as canon up to Season 6, episode "Once More With Feeling" with the exception of Spike falling for Buffy (the thought just gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies!) Obviously I am planning to take some of the characters in very different directions to the canon so if something doesn't quite fit the canon time-line there is probably a reason for it (can we say "convienient plot device" people!?*Grin*)

Description: Xander finds himself being dumped by his fiance just weeks before the wedding and his friends too busy with their own lives to pay him much attention. Life sucks and now he finds himself thinking more and more about a certain bleached blond vampire.

Warnings: Slash/Homoerotic Relationship! (Xander/Spike) NC-17 rating for graphic bedroom & battle scenes. Possibly some Buffy & Willow bashing (as pertaining to the intended story line). Enjoy!


Part One:

I am so sick of all this singing. Thank God it is finally over. Xander thought as he remembered the song & dance routine he & Anya had performed earlier that day. It brings out too many truths.

His mind returned to another song he had sung that day. He had been in the shower, just enjoying the feel of the hot water running down his tired body when all of a sudden he found himself breaking into an angsty melody about the Bleached-Menace. Xander had originally thought that it would just be a song about how pathetic the ‘Not-So-Big-Bad’ was these days & so was unpleasantly surprised when he heard himself starting to lament about the way that Spike never noticed him, never saw him as anything but the Scooby’s donut-boy, the Zeppo. The fact that the rest of the Scoobies saw him the same way hurt too, but they were his friends, they were allowed to take him for granted. That Spike dismissed him also, well it hurt. A lot.

Xander shook himself. Like he even cared what Spike thought. The song had been thankfully short, though the dance he had done with the towel-rack had been a bit disturbing. It was the potential implications of the song that disturbed him the most. He couldn’t work out why he had been singing about Spike in the first place…. well, not really. Ok, so he had occasionally thought about the chipped vampire in a slightly groiny way, but hey, he was a horny male, he was supposed to be over-sexed! Even he, who was as straight as they come, had to admit that Spike had that whole ‘compact-muscly-bad-boy’ thing going on, especially in those sinfully tight black jeans & leather duster.

“Ok, so not going there.” Xander muttered as he started to get hard at the thought.

“Going where?” Anya asked as she walked through the door & pulled him back into the real world.

“Huh?” He blurted out, feeling himself going red.

“You said you were ‘not going there’ & I want to know where you are not going?” Anya said impatiently.

“Oh.” Did I say that out loud? Geeze what else did I say? Xander panicked.

“Well?” Anya was starting to get pissed off.

“Uh…I was just…um… thinking that…um… we shouldn’t seat Uncle Rory next to Halfrek at the wedding reception.” Xander congratulated himself on his quick save.

“Oh, ok then.” Anya said vaguely “Look, about his whole wedding thing Xander… I’ve been thinking, maybe we shouldn’t.”

“What?!” Xander cried as what his fiancé was saying sunk in. “What do you mean we shouldn’t?!”

“Well, it’s just that I haven’t been human all that long & I want to see what it is like to have orgasms with other people.” Anya stated in her usual blunt manner.

“Huh?!” He said in disbelief, “Don’t I give you good enough orgasms? I can try harder, do better…” Xander hated the pleading sound of his voice, but he couldn’t just let her go without a fight. Anya was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I can’t believe I thought that she wouldn’t come to her senses & realize that she is way too good for me. She is beautiful, smart & sexy, why would she stay with me? I’m the damn donut-boy. Useless. I don’t have anything to offer. No special slayer powers, no magical abilities, Hell, even Spike has more going for him than me, at least he has that whole undead-strength thing going on. “Please stay Anya. I’ll do better, be whatever you want! Just give me another chance please…”

“I’m sorry Xander. It’s not you. You give me great orgasms. I just don’t feel ready to settle down.”

Xander gave it one more shot. “But the wedding is only a month away! It’s all organised…”

“I know and I’m sorry. I just don’t think it is fair to either of us.” Anya said.

Xander sat down on the sofa & lowered his head to his hands, shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs.

“Look, my half of the rent is paid up until the end of the month. I am going away for a while. I don’t know where yet but I am leaving tonight. I don’t know how long I will be gone or even if I am coming back. Try to move on Xander. I’ll always care about you.” Anya said quietly as she bent down & kissed the top of Xander’s head.

He didn’t look up until he heard the front door close with a click. He numbly wondered when she had found the time to pack her stuff up. He took a closer look around their apartment of 4 months, tear-filled eyes blurring his vision. He had been so tired when they had come home from rescuing Dawn from the all-singing-all-dancing demon that he hadn’t noticed the Anya’s knick-knacks missing from the mantle or the suitcases sitting by the front door. As Anya’s leaving hit him again full-force he curled up in a ball on the old Goodwill couch they had picked out together & cried himself to sleep.