The Ultimarossrossover

Author: Jane Shadow
Distribution: Nope. But you can check out my site at http://www.geocities.com/phanphic
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, and I borrowed so much that I’m not even sure who to disclaim to. All I can say is that I mean no copyright infringement to any and all parties involved; I’m just having some fun.
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Willow Rosenbaum sat at her computer, her eyes weary from hours of staring at the screen, lost in programming language and endless errors within visual basic. She had been working on the same code for twelve hours, and now it was almost morning, the sun already peeking out over the horizon outside her window.
Leaning back with a yawn, she glanced over to see if her visiting cousin was still asleep. As always, Peter was in a deep sleep, snoring a little. She wondered just what kind of things he did during the day that made him so exhausted and worn out.
Must have a gym membership. Willow thought to herself, turning back to her computer screen. But something was wrong. It looked like her screensaver had kicked in, or maybe her monitor’s power source had been knocked loose. The screen had turned completely black.
“Oh no… oh shit!” She mumbled to herself, desperately trying to fix the problem, first moving the mouse, then checking the wall outlet and the power button on the monitor. “Oh shit oh shit!” She continued to say over and over, certain that all of her code had been lost. The red-headed hacker looked down to make sure the tower was still working and when she looked up again at the screen, there were two words typed, white against the black.
“Hello Weo.”
She furrowed her brow and stared for a long moment. No one knew her handle, no one alive. And how did they make that message display on her computer? It seemed impossible…
Reluctantly, she replied.
“Who is this?”
There was a second before the letters appeared one by one, forming a sentence.
“I am called Morpheus.”
Willow rolled her eyes and hit ctrl-alt-delete, realizing that she had just left her Morpheus program running, downloading mp3s in the background. With it shut up for the time-being, she quickly saved her code to a back-up disk and then hit the power on her computer. It was about fucking time that she get some sleep. Disregarding her shirt, she crawled into bed beside Peter and curled her body close to his, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek before snuggling in for a few peaceful hours of sleep. Her presence caused him to wake up and pull away just slightly.
“Some would consider this to be incest, you know.” He said, crinkling up his boyish face, looking even five years younger with his short brown hair matted and unkempt.
She only pulled him closer. “How many times do I have to tell you, we’re not blood relatives… now let me sleep, please?”
“I can’t sleep like this anymore Willow, I’ve fallen in love with someone, and this is just too difficult for me to continue on with.”
Her face filled with hurt that she tried her best to hide. “It’s too difficult for you to cuddle with me while I sleep?”
“Yes, I’m sorry.” Without another word Peter rolled away, leaving her alone on the other side of the bed.

The Summers’ residence was filled with the smell of sex and pancakes. Sex because that was what Faith and Buffy had been having all morning… and pancakes because that was what they were eating. And yes, that does mean pancakes in the literal sense.
“So,” Buffy said, pushing her lover against the counter and letting their bodies press together erotically, only thin la of of cotton separating them, “when is this sister of yours going to come over, anyway?”
Faith couldn’t hide her smile if she tried. “I don’t know!” She exclaimed excitedly. “She said she would call before she got here… but wow! Isn’t this going to be awesome B?! I mean… a sister! Fucking A, B! And just think that I almost never found out about her at all… what if we had decided to just go to bed that one night instead of staying up late on the computer looking up personal ads to laugh at the people we knew? I mean, we never would have found out just how desperate Angel is, and we also never would have seen my sister’s picture… and I never would have known that I had a twin!”
Of course, Buffy knew all of these things, but the author of this story chose to ad this useful information into the dialogue at this point in the chapter so that you, dear readers, could also know these things.
“Yes, just think,” Buffy replied, also for the reader’s benefit, “what are the chances that your twin sister would be so desperate to meet women online that she would post her picture on a personals site? And it’s so cool that she is a lesbian too! What are the chances… really?” Buffy licked her lips at the thought. She got raging hormones over the idea of just one Faith naked on top of her so naturally the idea of TWO naked Faiths was unbearable. Perhaps we could put that last sentence into the “fore-shadowing” category for the time-being.
“Oh it’s so wonderful. We have so much to tell each other… so much to share…” The brunette slayer said, trailing off.
“Mm yes, sharing is good. Share with your twin. No need to be selfish!” Buffy replied while creaming her pants. (Note: this is where the Author broke into a fit of laughter and had to stop writing for ten minutes. She hopes the reaction is mutual).
“I’m so excited about it, I don’t know what to do with myself! It just makes me feel like… it makes me feel like… it makes me feel like…”
“Like what?! Like what?! Like what?!” Buffy asked, jumping up and down.
“Like… like… SINGING!” With this the brunette slayer jumped eagerly on top of the kitchen table and threw her arms out to her sides, a huge smile pasted on her face. She swayed quickly from side to side, humming out a guitar part and waving her arms around to imitate something that was supposed to either be air guitar or a PeeWee hockey player under the heavy influence of narcotics. Either way, it was a great imitation.
“Oh yeah sing, let’s sing!” Buffy yelled, clapping her hands. So they began to sing in unison.
“We got the afternoon
you got this room for two
one thing I’ll… uh… lik di discover me, discovering you!
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of… candy… flavored… underwear…
And they’re edible…”
This was the point in which Faith decided to simply belt out the chorus. “YOUR BODY IS A WOOOOONNNNDDDDEEERRRRRLLLLLAAAAANNNNNDDD!!!!”
Unfortunately (and I’m sure we’re all sad about just how unfortunate this is), their song was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing.
“I’ll get it!” Faith yelled, jumping off the table and sliding across the hard wood floor, grabbing the phone so over-excitedly that she almost ripped the receiver from the wall. “Oh hello!” She said with a smile, trying to sound calmer and cooler than she obviously was. “Oh… uh huh… No… uh… no… pink briefs and a Gremlins t-shirt, why? Uh huh… oh I see… yeah that sounds interesting… oh… ok… uh… thanks. Bye.”
Buffy could barely wait for the other slayer to hang up the phone before she blurted out her question. “Was it her? Is it your sister? Is she coming over??”
“Huh? Oh… no. Just a low-rate credit union.”

Willow woke up to the feeling of her body sinking into the bed. When she opened her eyes, she realized that it was because her cousin Peter had gotten up and was quickly dressing for school.
“Why don’t you stay home today?” She asked through a yawn.
He shook his head, pulling on a shirt over his toned, muscular body. “I can’t, I have a lot of things to do, and I was hoping to ask that girl out… you know, the one I told you that I’m in love with.”
Willow’s heart sank. “So I guess that’s the way it’s going to be?” She asked, her lower lip trembling.
Peter sighed and looked over at her sympathetly. ly. “Wills… you know that I care about you. But this girl… she’s just… there’s just something so special about her. I can’t put my finger on it, you know? It’s like, when I look at her the only thing I can think is ‘Wow, you are so hot, and I’m not related to you’.”
With this, the red-headed witch burst into tears. “It’s my boobs, isn’t it?!”
“No pumpkin, your boobs are perfect. It’s just that, after five years, I find myself kind of interested in other boobs, you know? It’s so hard to explain, and I know there’s no way that I can tell you without hurting you. But, honey-pie… sometimes a man wants to play with boobs that aren’t attached to someone he is related to, you know?”
Her sadness turned to anger, her eyes flashing defiantly. “Damn it Peter! We are related by MARRIAGE! Marriage! When will you get that through your head?!”
Peter sighed and looked at the floor. “I know that you say that, but it just doesn’t make sense to me. Your mother is my father’s sister. My father is your mother’s brother. How is it that we are related by marriage?”
“I’ve told you ousaousand times. My mother got married. Your father got married. Then children were born AFTER they got married. That makes us related by marriage. Besides, how could we truly be blood relatives? My last name is Rosenberg, and your last name ISN’T Rosenberg. It’s totally ridiculous to purpose that we are actually related by blood.” Willow rolled her eyes at her cousin’s idiocy.
“I guess I just don’t understand it all. I have to go to school now… goodbye Willow. Have a good day.”
He closed the door quickly, but not fast enough to him himself from hearing her yell after him; “You’re an asshole, Peter Parker! I hope you get bitten by a mutant spider and die a horrible death!”

To Be Continued...