Amnesty Is Granted
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
16,056
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
16,056
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Amnesty Is Granted
Title: Amnesty Is Granted
Author: Amejisuto
Pairing: Angel/Xander
Rating: R
Disclaimer:Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Language, mention of past Non-con, angst, UST.
Beta: The lovely kitty_poker1 beta'd this. Thanks luv! MWAH!
Notes: This is a series of drabbles, ficlets, and now a full fledged story that has been floating around on my live journal for nearly a year. It starts out not long after Faith goes bad, and talks about Xander's feelings about the events of the episode The Zeppo. He ends up talking to Angel and they fall into an unlikely friendship that slowly develops into love.
I'm talking really slowly here people. While I'm adding everything I have in my files to this all at once, it's taken me 11 months or so to get them to admit their feelings. Now, some of these bits are drabbles, which are only 100 words. Others are ficlets which are longer but not by much and now I'm into a multi-chaptered story in this verse finally. Just so you know. And again, I don't own any of the lovely Buffyverse bois, WB, Joss Whedon and several corporations do.
Onto the show!
Amnesty is Granted
It was odd how the smell of polyester and cheap perfume was all he could smell now. He always got himself into these things, only this time he couldn’t go and talk to Willow about it. Couldn’t tell anyone. They already thought he was useless, a liability; if they found out he’d been used by a girl…
He’d been having nightmares since that night. He’d tried to forget, to lose himself in slaying and thinking up snappy comebacks for when Cordy used him as a whipping boy, but last night had been the last straw. Yeah, Buffy explained after the fact how Angel was only acting when he hit him, but it still hurt.
He’d skipped school. When Wills called he had said he didn’t want to be seen with a bruise, but the truth was he couldn’t face them anymore. Besides, it had been proven in the past two weeks they didn’t need him anyway.
Nightfall found him at the edge of a cliff. He had left the house, the memory of hands around his throat and the scent of despair sending him outside.
“Xander?”
Great. The one person he hated more than anything just had to show up while he contemplated eternity. On the other hand, Angel hated him, so maybe he’d give him a push. Help him get off the ground, so to speak.
“Deadboy. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Xander what are you doing?”
“The usual thing people do on the edge of a cliff. Wondering if it would hurt when you hit bottom. Hoping I’ll have a heart attack first, that sort of thing.”
“If this is about last night…”
Xander couldn’t help it, he laughed. It was a bitter, choking sound that hurt even his ears. “Last night? This is about my life, Angel. This is about being either useless or used. Don’t act like you care.”
Angel came to stand beside him and Xander couldn’t help but feel small. Angel always had that effect on him; he was a pale reflection of the handsome man beside him. A shadow. Nothing. “I do care, Xander, and so will Buffy and Willow and…”
“They don’t need me. No one ever needs me. Well, except for Faith but I guess using me was easier than finding a man-sized dildo. Last night was just the icing on my shit cake.”
Xander found himself sitting on the ground talking to a man he thought he hated. How Faith used him and threw him away, how no one ever noticed him, about how everyone thought he was useless.
And Angel talked of how Buffy needed time, even though he did as she asked. How they weren’t going to make it because Buffy always forgot he was a demon.
In the end, when dawn came he took Angel up on the offer of a bed at his place rather than face the memories alone, instead of seeing how far he could fly without wings. He only hoped the nightmares stayed away.
Author: Amejisuto
Pairing: Angel/Xander
Rating: R
Disclaimer:Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Language, mention of past Non-con, angst, UST.
Beta: The lovely kitty_poker1 beta'd this. Thanks luv! MWAH!
Notes: This is a series of drabbles, ficlets, and now a full fledged story that has been floating around on my live journal for nearly a year. It starts out not long after Faith goes bad, and talks about Xander's feelings about the events of the episode The Zeppo. He ends up talking to Angel and they fall into an unlikely friendship that slowly develops into love.
I'm talking really slowly here people. While I'm adding everything I have in my files to this all at once, it's taken me 11 months or so to get them to admit their feelings. Now, some of these bits are drabbles, which are only 100 words. Others are ficlets which are longer but not by much and now I'm into a multi-chaptered story in this verse finally. Just so you know. And again, I don't own any of the lovely Buffyverse bois, WB, Joss Whedon and several corporations do.
Onto the show!
Amnesty is Granted
It was odd how the smell of polyester and cheap perfume was all he could smell now. He always got himself into these things, only this time he couldn’t go and talk to Willow about it. Couldn’t tell anyone. They already thought he was useless, a liability; if they found out he’d been used by a girl…
He’d been having nightmares since that night. He’d tried to forget, to lose himself in slaying and thinking up snappy comebacks for when Cordy used him as a whipping boy, but last night had been the last straw. Yeah, Buffy explained after the fact how Angel was only acting when he hit him, but it still hurt.
He’d skipped school. When Wills called he had said he didn’t want to be seen with a bruise, but the truth was he couldn’t face them anymore. Besides, it had been proven in the past two weeks they didn’t need him anyway.
Nightfall found him at the edge of a cliff. He had left the house, the memory of hands around his throat and the scent of despair sending him outside.
“Xander?”
Great. The one person he hated more than anything just had to show up while he contemplated eternity. On the other hand, Angel hated him, so maybe he’d give him a push. Help him get off the ground, so to speak.
“Deadboy. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Xander what are you doing?”
“The usual thing people do on the edge of a cliff. Wondering if it would hurt when you hit bottom. Hoping I’ll have a heart attack first, that sort of thing.”
“If this is about last night…”
Xander couldn’t help it, he laughed. It was a bitter, choking sound that hurt even his ears. “Last night? This is about my life, Angel. This is about being either useless or used. Don’t act like you care.”
Angel came to stand beside him and Xander couldn’t help but feel small. Angel always had that effect on him; he was a pale reflection of the handsome man beside him. A shadow. Nothing. “I do care, Xander, and so will Buffy and Willow and…”
“They don’t need me. No one ever needs me. Well, except for Faith but I guess using me was easier than finding a man-sized dildo. Last night was just the icing on my shit cake.”
Xander found himself sitting on the ground talking to a man he thought he hated. How Faith used him and threw him away, how no one ever noticed him, about how everyone thought he was useless.
And Angel talked of how Buffy needed time, even though he did as she asked. How they weren’t going to make it because Buffy always forgot he was a demon.
In the end, when dawn came he took Angel up on the offer of a bed at his place rather than face the memories alone, instead of seeing how far he could fly without wings. He only hoped the nightmares stayed away.