Days Like These Keep Me Warm

Days Like This Keep Me Warm

Disclaimer I don't own any of the characters from Buffy, Joss Whedon and his good friends do.

Rated: NC-17 for acts of sex and strong language.

Genre: Romance / AU

Characters: Buffy and Spike and some of the others pop up.

Feedback: Yes please, makes a girl feel wanted at outforawalkbitchuk@yahoo.com, really reviews boost my confidence and criticism helps me improve my work.

Summary: Buffy is a homeless girl who hopelessly follows William around the streets of a British seaside town, he doesn't realise this though because the poor man is blind….much Spuffiness [AU]

Authors Note: I will admit that the basic premise if taken from the Charlie Chaplin movie City Lights in which a blind girl falls for a homeless man, only I've swapped the genders and the setting and well most other things.. This is a Spuffy fic because I can't help but love Buffy and Spike, oh Joss Whedon please somehow make them get together in Angel, pretty please?

One final thing, // means it’s a character's thought. Hope you enjoy. Luv Louise.

Chapter One: Trying So Hard Just To Speak To You

It was the only thing that kept her going. The rain never seemed to stop in this town, she had come to realise over the years that the weather in Britain lived up to its reputation, rain, rain and more rain. She could do without it; her old umbrella wouldn't survive in the windy conditions and her already her tattered clothes were soaked through. But she persisted in what she was doing because like she said, it was the only thing that kept her going.

She waited a few metres away from him as he lingered at the side of the pavement, his guide dog preparing to lead the way when it was safe, an umbrella in his free hand sheltered him from the rain. She always worried about him when he walked around town at the weekends, it always got busy and shoppers didn't care about getting in people's way and the roads, too many cars that could hurt him. Only through her own willpower did she stop herself from going over to him and helping him to the other side of the road. She didn't want to ruin his clothes, stink them out with her pungent smell, she didn't want to frighten him by suddenly taking his arm, she didn't want to know what he was really like because living in a dreamland was so much easier.

He crossed successfully and she breathed a sigh of relief as he continued walking, stepping into a record shop, smiling. //Yeah he always smiled, he is happy even though he can't see the world, maybe that's why his happy, not having to see the reality// she went to follow, she needed to see her William.

How this little obsession had started was like most things by chance. The problem with this town was that it had no shelters for the homeless, they had to hide in the doorways of shops at night but during the day they gathered on the promenade and sat on the benches. Most of the others drank their day away but Buffy preferred to keep her wits about her, especially if the police turned up, as they often did, then she could run away quickly and find somewhere safer.

The day she met him though, she had been on her own, she wouldn't call the others her friends, merely people she stayed with because being in a group at least gave her a chance to sleep whilst they kept guard. It was worse when she was alone, she never had a chance to sleep, to dream, to remember her old life and wonder if she would ever get it back. She guessed what she had done was bad, well she knew it was. Three years in prison told her this and the fact that her mother and sister hardly visited proved the point she known ever since she was a child, Buffy summers was no one special, Buffy Summers is a failure, Buffy Summer is an embarrassment to her family. Yeah that what she was, and she didn't want to force herself on her mum, Joyce Summers had made something of her life and Dawn was busy at school, she had exams coming up, a chance to go to university.

On her own, sitting on a bench, trying to make a single bar of chocolate last forever, it for once hadn't been raining, she had been watching the students who dominated the town having fun on the pebbled beach, as they lapped up the rare sun and played football, not caring about their studies because being a student to most of them meant being lazy. Sitting alone, aware that her peace could be shattered any moment, Buffy had been reading the local paper she had found in the gutter. She knew she needed a job, but //Hey if it was that easy, why I am living on the streets? // she had thought to herself. She understood she made her life worse by living in a place that didn't have many jobs going and if they did they even went to the students or the locals who could speak bilingually, why had she chose Wales again? Buffy often asked that question and she had been just before she set eyes on him, and she knew the answer, she wanted to stay away from her family, stay away from the consequences of the mistake she made, she couldn't be in London, it reminded her too much of things, of him, of the stupid things she done out of a supposed love.

Then the sight of a golden Labrador had broken her melancholy, she loved animals, but unlike the other people she 'hanged' with she thought it was cruel to keep a pet if you couldn't look after it. However, she had immediately realised the dog wasn't a stray because it had fluorescent strips across its back, forming a type of lead, it was a guide dog. It's owner had sat down next to Buffy and she couldn't stop herself from staring, it must have been the cheekbones that done it from her, no really it was the azure eyes, how they stared into nothingness.

"It’s rude to stare" he had replied not turning to her as his dog sat down in front of him. Buffy had known she should've left then, because he was right it was rude and just because he was blind didn't mean she had a right to ogle at him all day but his accent drew attention to itself. It was a London one, but mixed with an hint of Welsh that made his words ingrain in her mind and made her painfully aware of her own voice, she was mixed with a southern England accent, where she was born, a Californian one where she spent ten years of her life and now like him a dash of Welsh.

"Sorry" she had muttered and had risen from her seat quickly, soon he would be able to smell the fact that she never showered and that she had worn her clothes for months now, from this moment on she knew she was beneath him. he didn't dress like he had much money himself, but his jeans and faded The Clash t-shirt was at least clean and he wore a blazer jacket, that made him look somewhat smart.

Also from that moment she had become fixated, she had left his side but watched from a distance over these last weeks, she would admit her actions verged on being a stalker but she would never really approach him again and would never expect anything from this, she just like to watch. By following him around she had found out little things about him, he was well liked for one, he was always being stopped by people, shouting his name, asking how he was, how his dog Strummer was. And she knew he liked punk music, his t-shirt included The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Undertones, The Ramones, Sham 69. She also knew where he lived, above the record shop he just walked into.

"I am such a stalker" she muttered downheartedly, she leaned against a lamppost watching him through the window, talking to the owner //I'm being cruel to him, he can't see me and I'm just perving at him//. She lowered he head in shame, she spent more time following him than looking for a job not that having a criminal record helped and //why would anyone employ an homeless girl? //

She pondered this briefly but as always she went back to looking across the road at him, cursing every car that went past and blocked her view. She knew that the owner of the shop behind her was watching her, any second now he would come out and tell her to fuck off, so before he had a chance she quickly crossed the road and lingered outside the record shop. He was still in there, his dog enjoying the attention of one of the girls who worked there and William laughing at the jokes of the man behind the counter, who she think was called Rupert Giles.

//I need to get closer// she decided and took the brave step of walking up to the door, placing her hand on the handle she stared at the notices. Most of them were flyers for gigs or singles and albums coming out but she noticed one underneath the 'no food or drink allowed in this stop' sign. It read

'Shop assistant required, experience not essential but love of independent music is, enquire within'

For a brief moment Buffy seriously considered applying for it, she didn't have experience and she loved music, it would be ideal, //shame I spent three years behind bars// she pushed the stupid notion away from her thoughts be still decided to go in and browse at the music, just so she could listen to his voice and catch glimpses of his body and stay away from the rain.

******

"I hope your not giving Strummer any chocolate Willow, its bad from him love" William looked as his female friend stroked and patted the animal, making baby noises and fussing over it.

"But he likes chocolate don't you Strummer" she spoke like a child, causing Rupert to nod his head in disbelief.

"I think the pressure of being a third year has gotten to her" Rupert remarked turning his attention back to William who handed him a pile of LPs "I swear pretty soon you will be having to use this place to store your records"

"Its not too cramped up there" William pointed upwards and smiled "You shouldn't encourage me with all these rarities, if the ceiling caves in I'm putting responsibility on you"

"Always the same William" Rupert sighed and went out into the back to find the records that his customer and friend wanted "Are you joining us tonight?"

"What's happening tonight?" He asked, he sensed Willow get off the floor and she reached for his spare hand, to show him where she stood, making him relax.

"Tara's playing The Bay, she's headlining it" Willow enthused

"I'm definitely there pet" William grinned swinging Willow's hand in his.

"Are you sure? I know you can't take dogs in there" Rupert stated sombrely, he didn't like to bring the issue of his friend's blindness up but sometimes it couldn't be avoided.

"I'll be fine, you two will look after me right?" William answered "And I can't miss a chance of hearing Tara's beautiful voice, you must be a lucky girl Willow"

"I am, and one who should be doing research for my essay" Willow sighed releasing her hand from the blond hair man and searching for her coat that laid behind the counter as Giles came back from storeroom.

"You’re an unnatural student you know, actually doing your work" Giles teased ringing up the cash register

William turned around as the door opened and the bell above it rang, he wondered who it was, but seeing as neither Rupert nor Willow had acknowledged them, he figured it wasn't anyone he knew. It frustrated him though because it meant he rarely got a chance to met new people away from his circle of friends. If he couldn't see what they looked like or even tell where they were properly, it made his life difficult, it made it lonely sometimes but he knew he should be grateful for many things and his friends were one of them.

"Is Tara going to play any of her own songs tonight?" William enquired, he reached for his wallet in the back of his jeans and handed it to Rupert. He trusted him completely with his money, he knew he wouldn't take more than the records cost. William did it because the condition he was in happened only recently and he found it difficult to deal with at times, so everyone who was willing to help he was grateful for.

"You know she won't, she's not confident enough, I've tried speaking to her but" Willow nodded her head, gathering her bag up from behind the counter.

"I get it, I do, she could sing the national anthem backwards and I be happy love" William assured her

"There you go William" Rupert stated handing his wallet back and giving him his bag,

"Cheers" He replied fumbling to put his money away and to hold his bag.

Willow was ready to leave now and went up to her friend hugging him gently "You better not be getting a thing for my girlfriend William"

"She's safe with me and you know it" He laughed releasing her from the embrace as she waved Rupert off.

*******

"Erm excuse me Miss but are you planning on buying anything?" Rupert went over to the woman who had walked into his shop a few minutes ago, she had been loitering around the vinyl collection but didn't seem too interested in the music, her clothes were dripping on the floor, where she had taken her sweat top off and was holding it in her hand.

Buffy froze in her spot she had been perfectly happy listening to their conversations, grinning to herself at how sweet he sounded and feeling relieved when this Willow turned out to be a lesbian. Now, however, she was busy and and would have to leave and her day would be ruined.

"Yeah, erm, I was wondering about the vacancy" She found herself say and really she should be scolding herself for being so stupid but she wasn't. Every second she had been in this shop she had become increasingly drawn to William and the chance to work in a place that he liked to hang out in, to have a minimal opportunity to speak to him, maybe become his friend, oh Buffy would lie as much as she needed to, she had to get this job, she needed him by her side. She walked over to the counter with Mr Giles, she was inches away from him, his dog had started sniffing her jeans and William reached out to find out who was there.

"I wouldn't work from him love, he treat you like a slave" William teased, resting his hand on her shoulder, she was definitely a lot shorter than he was, but he removed his presence from her because he felt a little rude if he had gone on to touch her face to try and figure out what she looked like.

"Don't pay attention to him, William has nothing better to do all day than to drive away my customers" Rupert retorted, he had started looking under the counter for application forms.

"His lying, he loves me really" William stated laughing to himself.

Buffy watched the little exchange between the two, her heart had almost jumped out of her chest when he had touched her, she was worried he pulled away because he could smell her. She tried to stay calm as she continued her lie "Oh, yeah the job, I don't have any experience, I'm just"

"A student, yes I can tell, the grungey look back in fashion then?" Rupert observed, well its not like he hadn't dealt with people who dressed a lot worse "I'm just going out back see if I can find a form for you"

"Sure" Buffy tried to sound enthusiastic, she had no idea what she would put on that form, apart from lie after lie. She leaned herself against the counter, in theory she could pinch some of the records that laid there, sell them, make some money, but she didn't want to, just gazing at him was enough, seeing him face to face made her existence. Today he wasn't wearing his jacket, just a black t-shirt and she could see the muscles on his upper arms and briefly she gawped at his lower-body, //He should be made illegal for wearing those jeans, talk about..// She was interrupted by his question.

"What do you do at the university?" William questioned, he thought he be polite to this girl, especially if she ended up working here, he was trying to get a sense of what she was like.

"History and English" Came her response, thinking of the two subjects she would've liked to have done if she ever had the opportunity to really go to university and not just in her phoney world she was creating,

"Really, that's what I did here, does Professor Jones still teach creative writing?" William smiled brightly at her, remembering his of of university and how he wished some day he could carry on his passion for writing.

"Sure, yeah" Buffy nodded, realising afterwards that he wouldn't be able to see her actions, she only agreed with him because she was acting on instinct, on a need not to screw this up, William was smiling //He is perfection// she decided, so much of her craved to touch his face, too run her fingers down his cheekbones, to do so much more to him, she hadn't felt this way for at least four years and it made her panic, last time she was in love it almost destroyed her, it led to way she went to prison, why she was homeless now, but also why she was staring at William, feeling like she loved him. //Don't be so stupid, you don't even know him//

"Tell him William said hi, he is a great bloke" William replied, he really should think about visiting his old department again, studying in this town was the best years of his life, made him forget about the shit that happened later on, his accident, his ex girlfriend, the depression that followed.

"Yeah sure" Buffy answered, the one thing about him being blind was that he wouldn't be able to see her blush and act awkward like she did in front of men.

"Don’t say much do you pet?" William commented, she was almost as shy as Tara was but at least his friend came into her own when she sang. He was used to mostly chatty types like Anya or Alexander who forever made jokes.

Buffy was saved from her inability to form sentences by the emergence of Mr Giles from the storage room, handing her a piece of paper “I'm not big on application forms but got to have some kind of system"

"Thank you" Buffy said softly, she briefly scanned the form and panicked, //Qualifications, work experience, how about none, I am so fucked//

"Also I would like to see a copy of your CV and two references" Rupert continued, he wasn't too sure about the girl, she seemed a little frightened and he was certain she was the cause of a unpleasant odour he could smell, even her or Strummer but he could see that William had taken a bit of a shine to her, and he would give her a chance at least.

"Of course" Buffy responded holding the document firmly in her hands //Great this is getting worse, references? No way, I'm going to have to lie, I need this job//

"Don't frighten the poor girl away, I can't even see her and I bet she's shaking" William reached out and touched her arm, she was shivering against him "In fact she is, don't worry he likes to cover all his bases"

"I see" Buffy spoke more confidently this time; especially as he hadn't removed his hand from her yet and he was making her kinda feel special. And to think she had resided herself to never having contact with him, to stalking him forever and imaging what he was like. She didn't need to anymore; he was like what her idealised version of him was like, sweet, funny, kind, what else would she need from him? His blindness never bothered her, because in a way it made it easier for her, he didn't have to see how shabby she looked, or how she watched him all the time, though from their first meeting she pred hed he could tell when people stared for too long.

"As long as you can tell him who recorded Blank Generation and what year originally came out he will be happy" William continued, he stroked her arm slightly, smoothing the skin of its goose pimples and decided he would have to ask Rupert what she looked liked later on, it was driving him mad, before he went blind he used to study every little detail of girl, just so he would always remembered what they looked like if he never saw them again, he never thought about the irony of that until now //Really won't see them again, quite bloody literally//

Buffy thought about her answer for a few seconds "Richard Hell and The Voidoids, in 1976, re-released in 1977" she said confidently.

"Impressive" William nodded and let go off her, sensing she would want to leave soon.

"Still, when you've filled them out come in and I arrange an interview" Rupert directed his question to the young woman.

"Thank you Mr Giles" Buffy was grateful to the man for giving her a chance, even if she would be dishonest to him later on.

"It’s Rupert pet and I'm William Johnstone" He introduced himself, finding her hand and shaking it.

"Buffy Summers" She declared and took it as her cue to leave, she moved away and went to the door, beaming at her encounter with him, trying to block out how she had no chance off getting the position “See ya"

Rupert waited for Buffy to leave the shop before speaking to William "She's a bit strange that one"

"I think she was fine, she knew her punk, she has my approval" William praised, he decided to keep his questioning of what she looked like until later on, maybe after Giles had drank a little alcohol, otherwise he would get suspect at why William wanted to know. In all honesty he wasn't sure why he was being so secretive about it //Okay I know why, first new person I've met for ages, first girl who didn't say anything about my blindness//

"Did you erm notice anything about her, like the smell?" Rupert asked cautiously, not wishing to come across as rude or anything.

"Ey?" William frowned "I have a cold mate, can't smell a bleeding thing, now do me a favour and help me up the stairs, I have an afternoon of listening to my records to do"

*****
Buffy left the shop and wandered down Terrace Road back towards the Promenade, she would need the help of the others in helping her cheat her way into this job. It took her a few moments to notice that it wasn't raining anymore //looks like my day has just got better//

TBC>>>