Angels Bad Night

Title - Angel's Bad Night
Author: Evil Willow
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Category: Story/Romance/Humor
Spoilers: Season 2 of Angel, up to Epiphany. General season 5 of
Buffy
Pairings: Angel/? (another male)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Joss runs the show, even if he doesn't do
it well. No copyright infringement intended, blah, blah, blah...
Keywords/Warnings: m/m slash/smut (And that means graphic sex between
two males. So if you don't like that, don't read this story!)
Distribution: If anyone wants it, sure. Just let me know where
itgoingoing. It's going to my site eventually
Summary: Angel has a really bad night... his friends have a plan
to cheer him up. So does someone else.
Author's notes: This takes place at some point after Epiphany
and The Body, it's a response to Crazy Evil Dru's challenge.

******************
Dru's Challenge:

Someone is having a birthday and the usual Hellmouthy things
happen. Spike is the main character, sans chip. I want my evil
Spike! I don't care who he's paired with. I'm posting this to a
bunch of lists, so obviously if it's a spike/angel list, he can
be paired with angel. Likewise, if it's a buffy/spike list, he
can be paired with buffy. It can be threesome (ie:b/a/s), as
long as he's main character. Timeline doesn't matter, can be a
history piece. It doesn't matter whose b-day it is. Can be
spike's, doesn't have to be.

Must be FLUFFY and Have:
-birthday trick candles
-whip cream
-an unexpected present
-someone yelling 'surprise' at an inopportune time
-the line, not necessarily in this *exact* form: "You're crazy...
You're evil...You're fucking crazy AND evil!"
-smut (if you *really* can't, it's okay, but i'd love it)

Try to include at least five of the following, if not all:
-fudge
-a red stuffed animal
-sparkles
-blue corvette
-a mustache
-Miss Edith
-reference to a movie nowtheatheatres
-a song from a Disney movie
-bunny slippers
-a ill-timed joke
-the word: flagitious (it's in the dictionary)
-a special pencil
-Mr. Pointy
-the line: I swear to fucking God!
-a reference to William the Bloody's bloody awful poetry -
-one of his bloody awful poems


Part One
*********
Angel walked into the... not the Angel Investigations office, Cordelia didn't want to call it that anymore. That was fine with him, he was tired of being 'in charge'. He'd shown just how
awful he was at it, anyway. So...he walked into the whatever-it-was-named-now office shortly after sundown to the sound of Cordelia and Wesley arguing, loudly, about something.

"I'm telling you, Wes, we've gotta have the trick..." Cordelia trailed off as she saw Angel walk in. "Hi, Angel. Want some fudge?" She pointed at the plate of fudge sitting on her desk.

Angel quirked an eyebrow at her abrupt change of subject. Then he realized she didn't want to talk about ...whatever-it-was they'd been talking about, in front of him. They'd all been pretty wary of him lately, not that he could blame themey *ey *had* come pretty close to having to deal with Angelus again, after all. "No, thanks, Cordy," he replied. "Any visions today?"

"Nah, slow AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" She screeched and grabbed her head. Angel grabbed her before she fell and helped her into her chair. When the vision had passed, she glared up at him.
"Tell you what, Angel, do me a favor. Just don't ask questions like that, because it's like a wake-up call to The Powers."

Wesley hurried...well, hurriedly rolled out and then back in again from the adjoining room, where they kept all their extra books and research materials. "Need these?" he asked rather unnecessarily, as he handed Cordelia a bottle of pills.

She glared at Wesley, too. "No. I just like to draw attention to my visions by screaming in agony," she sighed. She took the pills and added, "Damn it's not fair. I was thinking that since there haven't been any visions lately, I could probably leave work early. I really wanted to go see 'Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon.'"

Angel and Wesley both looked at her in disbelief.

Wesley said, "You're going to... But I thought we were planning--"

"HUSH!" She yelled, causing both men to jump. "I mean, we'll go to the..." she looked around, as if that would help her think of what she was trying to say, "magic shop, yes, we'll go to the magic shop some other time, Wesley. I, um...I heard that movie was good, so I...I...VISION!" she yelled again, causing both men to jump... again. "Vision. That's what's important right now. It was at that Karaoke club. About ten slime demons...yuck...they ran in, and started trashing the place, tearing it apart. Then they tore The Host apart. Did I mention yuck?"

"How'd they do that? No demon violence is allowed there!" Angel frowned.

"Don't you think we should kill them first, and ask why it happened later?" Wesley suggested.

"Right good point," Angel sighed.

"Okay, let's go," Wesley said. They grabbed their weapons and piled into Angel's car.

**************

Angel was covered in slime. He looked at his friends; they were too. They'd gotten into the club in time to hear a very tone deaf Chaos demon singing "Can Youl thl the Love Tonight." Angel
hadn't felt like killing something that badly ever before. Not even when he was soulless. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on your interpretation, the slime demons showed up not too long afterward. That got the Chaos demon off the stage, which Angel was at least grateful for.

Then they'd gone to work killing the slime demons. Angel had gotten The Host, after a little bit of persuasion and threatening, to herd his customers outside and block all doors from the outside
so the demons couldn't escape. Now it was just a matter of catching said demons, so Angel, Cordelia and Wesley could get The Host to let them out of the bar again, at some point that evening.

Three demons were still alive, though, and had been running around the bar screaming for a good ten minutes. Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley had been running around after them, for all of those ten minutes. Strike that: Angel and Cordelia were running after two demons. Wesley was rolling his wheelchair after the third demon. Regardless, none of the 'good guys' had caught the 'bad guys' yet.

Angel stopped for a moment. Not to catch his breath, but to attempt to recover his dignity. "Why didn't I bring a crossbow?" he wondered. "No, I just HAD to bring the axe, something that I need to be within arms reach to kill demons with. It's really too dangerous to throw at them, with Cordy and Wes close by." He sighed in aggravation.

The night, so far, had sucked.

Who was he kidding? Every night of his unlife, for far too long, had sucked.

But tonight sucked even worse because of what the date was...

"NO!" He yelled, causing Cordelia and Wesley to pause in their chasing to look at him curiously. "Not you guys," he muttered.

Cordelia shrugged and ran after her demon again. "Why don't you just DIE, you...you... flagitious demon, you!" She screamed.

Wesley and all of the demons in the room stopped in their tracks and looked at her in confusion.

"HA!" She yelled and beheaded her demon. She looked from Angel to Wesley, who were still looking at her like she'd grown horns. "What? It's a word, look it up! Geez, try to expand your vocabulary and everyone acts like you're possessed," she sighed. "I'm done!" she added. "Hurry up and kill your demons, you two, I wanna go home!"

Angel just shook his head. The things he put up with... "Wesley, STOP!" He roared. Wesley obeyed, and Angel threw his axe, hitting one of the remaining slime demons square in the forehead with it. One down. Angel tadvaadvantage of the last slime demon's shock at seeing it's friend struck down. He ran at it, reaching it before it could see he was there, and snapped its neck.

"Well, FINALLY," Cordelia said. "Why didn't you do that in the first place?"

Angel just growled at her and stalked to the door.

"And why are you in such a bad mood tonight?" Cordelia wondered. "Be happy. We killed the nasty demons, right? Saved the innocent...karaoke club?"

Angel refrained from voicing his opinion that saving the place w't n't necessarily a GOOD thing, considering it had been the site of multiple humiliations. Instead he yelled at the door, "LET US OUT!"

The Host opened the door. "Eeew," he said. "You all are need some serious de-sliming."

Angel growled again, seriously not in the mood for...well, anything anymore. "Figure out what happened to the 'no demon violence spell and fix it!" he told him. Wisely, The Host nodded, and backed out of his way. Angel, Cordelia and Wesley went to his car. "Oh, and you'll be getting our bill in the mail!" Cordelia called out the window to the Host as Angel drove off.

Once they were on their way to the hyperion, Angel finally asked. "Flagitious?"

"Monstrous." Cordelia said. "I think it was in one of those books about demons, I dunno. It just stuck with me."

"I see," Angel replied, though he really didn't see. He didn't really care, however, he just wanted the night to be over. Something told him, however, that it would be a very long night, and it would continue to suck, and it would probably get worse before it was over.....