All The Wrong Reasons

Part One

The tension and hostility in the silent dining room was almost overwhelming, Lindsey slouching further down in the hard wooden chair until his mom kicked at his bare foot, making him sigh and sit up straight again. Saw the small smirk at the corner of his step-brother’s lips before Liam returned to glowering at his plate.

He sneered back, lip curling. Winced and turned it into an almost blinding mockery of a smile in the older boy’s direction after her shoe made sharp contact with his ankle again.

Something unfamiliar flickered in Liam’s dark, heated eyes, making his own narrow, pale blue searching brown, then his brother’s lashes swept down.

Shielding them and breaking contact, leaving Lindsey shifting in his chair.

The animosity in the small room was coming off the older boy in waves and Lindsey’s mouth twitched, tick starting in his jaw as he remembered a year ago to the day, another silent, uneasy dinner. The night their parents had gotten hitched without even bothering to let them know until after.

All smiles and kisses, expecting them to feel the same way.

Kind of like they expected the boys to want to celebrate their one year anniversary.

Wasn’t like Lindsey thought they were totally thoughtless and oblivious, they just didn’t seem to grasp just how far down Liam’s hostility for them went. But then, his step-brother was polite, though distant, to Lindsey’s mom. It was him that got the full brunt of his anger.

Lindsey hadn’t exactly been overjoyed, either, to find out he was moving into their house, leaving his friends, his school, neighborhood. Not that it had been much, but it had been all he had known. Moving to the wealthier part of town and going to a high school that wasn’t falling apart around them wasn’t as much of a good thing as his mother seemed to think.

With his longer hair, careless clothes, sullen and sarcastic attitude, he was the outsider there more than he’d ever been at his old school, bad news, trash. Hadn’t been exactly popular back in Eastwood with his smaller stature, almost-shoulder length hair and earrings marking him as ‘different’, but he’d had his group of friends, his own rung on the social ladder.

Hadn’t had to prove his toughness, intelligence.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if he and Liam, mister all-American fucking prom king, had bonded in any way, but the senior had made it plain both there and at school that he couldn’t stand the younger boy.

Had spent the year being a total loner, which wasn’t that much of a hardship, but he was starting to get friends of his own now that Liam had graduated. Maybe junior year when it started wouldn’t be so rough.

He jabbed his fork into the chicken breast, almost wishing the uncomfortable silence back when the adults started making eyes at each other and talking in soft voices that weren’t quite soft enough to drown out the sickening sappiness.

Saw a matching grimace on his brother’s face and was hard-pressed to hold back the snicker when Liam saw him looking and rolled his eyes, puckering up his lips, making him bite at the inside of his own to keep from cracking up. At least until the older boy remembered to hate him and cut him a glare, stabbing his fork into his plate hard enough to make them all jump at the resounding shrill screech as metal and glass grinded together.

“Liam! For God’s sake, was that necessary?”

He winced as Liam threw down his fork and scraped back his chair in response to his dad’s question, expecting an explosion, but the older boy simply ground out, “I’m done. Me and Will are goin’ to a party tonight, I gotta go get ready.”

Slunk further down in his chair as Liam stormed upstairs, breathing a sigh of relief as the tension in the room went with him, their parents seeming to forget he existed as they started clearing the table, needing to get ready, too, for their night at the movies and dancing. He didn’t mind, taking the opportunity to put Liam’s scraps with his and make his way out to the back yard.

It was still light enough outside to sit and enjoy it, Lindsey dropping down to the concrete step, scraping off the chicken and potatoes, pieces of bread as he whistled for Cash. Night air felt cool and clean in his lungs as he leaned back against the side of the house, truly smiling for the first time that night as his old dog lumbered up out of the new wooden doghouse.

Cash seemed just as happy to see him, ears perking up as his shaggy tail flopped lazily back and forth, trotting over to nose at his jean-clad leg a moment before starting to devour the leftovers.

Scratched his nails under the scarred ear, badge of honor from their harder days, ruffling the thick, soft fur. “Mangy ol’ mutt,” he murmured fondly, feeling his throat tighten even as he shoved the emotions back.

His mom was happier now and he had to admit things were easier with extra money, not having to scrounge for every penny like they’d been doing since his dad took off when he was a kid, but he missed the days it had been just the three of them against the world. Him, Cash and mom.

When he’d never felt unwanted, unneeded.

Not that he could blame Liam, really. Knowing his mother and little sister had died barely a year before his dad married Lindsey’s mom. But it didn’t make living there with his hostility any easier.

He just wanted the older boy to see him as his own person, not a poor shadow of a replacement for Kathy. Someone who’s very presence rubbed salt into the open wound that the fact he’d never see his little sister again was.

Stretching out his legs, he laughed softly as the big dog pressed between them, thrusting his cold, damp nose into Lindsey’s ear. Wrapped an arm around his shaggy side, threading work-roughened fingers through the soft black fur as his toes curled into the still-warm grass.

Flexed them, staring consideringly down at his tanned feet as he rested his chin against Cash’s shoulder. He’d always be ‘poor, dirty white trash’ to his step-brother, words ringing in his ears at random times of the day. No matter how many times he’d heard it in his life, had heard it since he’d moved there, in his head now the words were always spoken in Liam’s voice.

He’d thought for a while things might finally be different, the last few months mellowing the older boy. Like he was finally getting used to him, realizing that, like it or not, Lindsey wasn’t going anywhere.

Liam’d even taken him to get his license last month after his birthday, the bickering almost fond as they’d insulted each other back and forth. Went out to Denny’s and ordered more than they could possibly eat, stealing more off of each other’s plates than their own, laughing and generally.. acting like brothers. It had been a startling moment, realizing that, feeling that.

Then going to Liam’s graduation and feeling an odd sort of pride as he walked across the stage; that the boy everyone loved and admired, yelled for, was his brother. Realizing slowly that he was going to miss him. Didn’t know why, since most the time the older boy couldn’t stand to be around him, but at least with him at school, he’d had someone there. Acknowledged or not.

Seen the surprise, the smile on Liam’s face afterwards in the parking lot as he’d handed him his graduation gift, shoving his hands in his pockets as he shrugged and tried not to watch him open it. Embarrassed because it wasn’t much but he couldn’t afford much with the job he had. Embarrassed that he’d gotten him anything in the first place.

The leather bound drawing journal had been expensive, though, and his brother’d seemed to like it, a real smile crossing his face, doing something tight to Lindsey’s belly, then he had actually hugged him, muttering ‘thanks’ before his friends came and drug him away.

Had been an unpleasant realization that he’d started having feelings towards the big bastard. Wanting to be around him, feeling warm when Liam seemed to not mind him there. When he’d seen finally what the rest of the world saw in his brother.

Only to have all that was dangled over his head ripped away again.

He’d thought they were getting closer, which made his attitude the past couple of weeks even harder to understand. Knew it was probably the reunion of everything that had happened, the fact Lindsey and his mom were still there, his mother and sister still gone. But..

It hurt, more than it had before. Being ignored, brushed or pushed aside, mocked. Hated again.

Wished the asshole would make up his mind.

Cash’s ears perked up, tail doing a lazy half-wag, and a few moments later Lindsey heard the unmistakable sound of Will’s car pulling into the driveway. He leaned his head back against the side of the house and wondered if the blonde would come out.

Didn’t know if it was pity for the way Liam treated him or a way to spend time with his dog, because the older boy had fallen head over heels for Cash, but he usually took a few minutes out to playfully tease and talk to him when he came over.

Will, or Spike as he was known at school, and Liam had been practically inseparable since the moment he’d met them. Though they bickered almost as much as he and his brother, it was fond and playful, and it was rare to see one without the other between classes. They’d been best friends since grade school and it never failed to make Lindsey feel like an unwanted stray dog hanging around in comparison.

It’d been Spike that had told him about Kathy, the first time he’d met him. Liam had given him a disgusted look as he’d come into the living room and had obviously been at a loss of how to introduce him, so he’d smiled at the blonde and said he was Liam’s new brother. The older boy had shoved him away, into the couch, snarling that he wasn’t his fucking brother and stormed upstairs, leaving them both staring wide-eyed after him.

Lindsey had blinked back the tears of shock and anger, embarrassment, but the blonde must have seen it in his eyes because he’d tried to smile, shrugging and ruffling his hair. He’d quietly explained and Lindsey had never forgotten the ‘step’ any time after that that he’d had to use the word.

The sound of Liam bounding down the stairs and the slam of the front door brought an end to that question. Heard the car door open, a flood of grindingly loud punk hanging in the air and then silence again after the door slammed closed, feeling a twinge of disappointment.

Not that he really felt one way or the other about the over-hyper Englishman, too caught between jealousy over their relationship and the warmth his attention brought to make a decision about him. But it would have been nice after his brother’s animosity all night to see a friendly face.

Knowing they’d be gone all night, he sighed and rested his cheek against Cash’s warm shoulder as the big dog licked at his neck, making him laugh and scrunch up. Could go in now, now that it was safe to go upstairs without worrying about bumping into Liam in one of his moods.

But he sat there until the moon slowly moved up into the dark sky, Cash keeping him warm until the numbness of his ass couldn’t be ignored any longer and he trudged quietly back upstairs. Feeling lonelier in the silent, dark house than he’d felt in a year.

**

He squinted blearily at the clock on his nightstand a few hours later, rubbing his hands over his face as he realized he’d fallen asleep fully dressed, halfway through the new Dean Koontz. Groaned as he pulled himself up, yawning wide and pulling his t-shirt over his head in one lazy, sleep-drugged movement.

Unbuttoned and stepped out of his soft, faded jeans as he padded barefoot to his dresser to pull on a pair of old sweatpants, raking a hand through his long, sleep-mussed hair and making it stick up even more.

The hallway light made him squint again, rubbing at his eyes as he walked towards the bathroom at the other end, pausing by Liam’s door when he heard a rough groan. Frowned, head cocking to the side as it came again, along with a low, pained curse.

He could see a sliver of light and noticed the door wasn’t shut all the way, so he placed a palm on it and slowly eased it open. Not wanting to be caught outside his brother’s door but not wanting to walk right by if he needed help, whether Liam would want it from him or not.

It swung open easier than he’d thought and he took a step back before freezing in his steps, blue eyes going almost comically wide as the sight before him slowly imprinted itself in his mind, mouth dropping open.

His brother, standing by his bed, shirtless with his jeans open and down his hips. Big hand tangled in Spike’s bleached hair, the smaller boy’s head bobbing in a rhythm that made his blood pulse heavy and hot down to his cock.

Liam’s dark eyes were closed, an expression on his flushed face that made Lindsey’s mouth go dry, sharp white teeth sinking into his bottom lip to stop his own cry as his brother’s hips jerked twice, the blonde head stilling. Black nails digging into the bare skin at Liam’s hips as he swallowed audibly, before pulling slowly away and getting to his feet.

He knew he should back away now, mind yelling at his frozen body to do so, but the shock was too much as he saw his step-brother pull the slender, muscled body in close, devouring his mouth in a kiss hotter than anything Lindsey’d seen in the movies. He must have made a sound, didn’t know how through the tight dryness of his throat, but both boy’s jerked apart, turning in his direction.

Faces flushed, eyes wide, they scrambled further away from each other until they realized it was just him, Liam shoving his jeans up his hips and fastening them in jerky movements, but not before he got more than an eyeful.

“Jesus Christ, Lindsey! What the fuck?” he hissed out, stalking towards him. Spike intercepted with a laugh and made for the door, calling back, “Don’t have a stroke, be glad it was just the kid, yeah?” Giving Lindsey a naughty wink as he passed.

They stood there silent, facing each other until Spike’s thudding steps down the stairs receded and they heard the front door shut, Lindsey’s face almost as flushed as his brother’s.

So caught up in the last few minutes that he didn’t even notice Liam had moved closer until he was knocked back against the wall next to the doorway, a strong, muscled forearm over his throat, palm of the other hand flattened beside his head on the wall. Dark, livid eyes glaring down at him as he tried to shove the bigger boy away.

Liam was pressed so closely that he could feel the heat from his brother’s bare chest against his own, the rough arm over his throat along with his face to close to his own somehow sending sparks down to his still aching dick no matter how hard he tried to shove down the inappropriate feelings. Begged whatever deity that was watching that Liam wouldn’t notice because wouldn’t that just make his fucking night?

Felt his brother’s hot breath over his mouth as he growled out, “Don’t you say a fucking word. You understand? You didn’t see a goddamned thing.”

He didn’t let him go until he nodded jerkily, throat raw and aching, coughing as he glared in his direction. Eyes glistening with the pain of it.

“Wouldn’t have anyway, you fuckin’ prick,” he bit out, before making a quick exit. Shutting the bathroom door and leaning against it as his knees went out from under him.

One hand went to his throbbing throat, the other yanking down his sweats, gripping his aching dick in his fist and jacking roughly twice. That was all it took before he exploded in his hand, body folding in on itself at the intensity of it, breath sobbing harsh in his throat as he bit at his other palm to stifle the sound.

It was a few minutes more before he could shakily climb to his feet, body trembling as he leaned against the sink to wash off his hand, staring at himself in the mirror. Face flushed with hectic color, lips parted and eyes drugged, pupils blown black and wide, red mottling at his neck.

Part of him couldn’t believe what had just happened. Another part was reeling with new possibilities. That if Liam couldn’t feel anything for him as a brother, there might be other options to make the older boy care about him, in a totally different way.

He’d meant what he’d said to Liam, that he wouldn't run off and tell anyone what he’d seen. No, telling anyone what he’d seen Spike doing to his brother was the last thing he wanted to do.

He wanted to take his place.