Silent Voices

Title: Silent Voices

Pairing: Buffy/Faith

Rating: NC17 (but later, sorry folks)

Summary: Buffy has kept her crush on Faith a secret for fear of how the other
girl would react. Now something has happened and she might lost her chance to
tell her forever.



Title – Silent Voices

BtVS Season 3, but Angel hasn’t returned

Pairing: Faith/Buffy

Rating: NC17 for later chapters

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing!

Summary: Buffy has kept silent about her feelings for Faith, but something
happens -- has she left it too late?



Dedicated to Queen Zulu, and Dylan who are my inspiration (as well as major
sucking up for more updates :p)



Chapter 1





It was midnight, and the young couple was taking a leisurely stroll through the
trees. A nice, leisurely stroll through a cemetery…looking for vampires…with a
person she had a mystical connection with because she died.



Buffy sighed.



Who was she kidding? She couldn’t keep the image of normality in her mind for
more than a few seconds – especially when it wasn’t exactly normal to be
crushing over the very sexy brunette beside her. There was just something about
Faith that sent her stomach tumbling over itself and made her brain freeze –
and very hot elsewhere. From the moment Buffy had seen Faith on the dance floor
of the Bronze to finding out Faith was a Slayer, Buffy had fallen – and fallen
hard. As the blonde girl got to know her counterpart better, she just kept
falling. Everything about the dark girl attracted Buffy – from the way
pretended to ignore Giles, to how she was so enthusiastic about sng. ng.



But at the same time Faith scared her. A lot.



Not that crushing after another girl was strange to Buffy (though it was only
one other girl – and she waslve lve at the time). Faith was all about ‘get
some, get gone’ and even though Buffy was -- she admitted reluctantly to
herself – inexperienced, she wanted Faith more than anything. Ever. It made
what she felt for Angel seem-like a passing schoolgirl crush.



However, no matter how close Buffy came to confessing her feelings to Faith –
regardless of the consequences – she could never go through with it.



Losing Angel had nearly destroyed Buffy – she didn’t think she would survive
losing Faith and their friendship. So she pushed her feelings down and kept
telling herself that having Faith as a friend was better than nothing. And she
tried to ignore that little voice in her head that told her that she would
always have nothing if she didn’t give it a shot.



Faith heard her sister slayer’s sigh and looked curiously at the other girl.
She kept her face indifferent even though she was worried.



“What’s up, B?”


br>
A myriad of emotions crossed the small slayer’s face before a look of
resignation and sadness settled in. But before Faith could say anything, it was
gone and Buffy was grinning at her and telling her it was nothing. Faith fought
the frown that was trying to form, wondering if she had just imagined that
look. Buffy certainly didn’t look depressed now; slightly skipping and
chattering away about school, and Giles’ idea of training.



Distracted as they were by their thoughts, they didn’t notice the demons until
they were surrounded.



Cutting out the banter stage, the demons attacked. Buffy and Faith fought in
unison, keeping the demons back and even managing to kill a few of them. Buffy
frowned as she knocked yet another demon back.



Why do they keep attacking and backing off? They’re not doing any damage – all
we keep doing is moving back and…



A look of horror crossed Buffy’s face and she looked back to see the newly dug
hole – a very deep hole. They weren’t trying to kill them…the demons were
herding them! Before Buffy could scream out a warning to Faith, Buffy’s
opponent took advantage of the Slayer’s lapse in concentration and slashed at her
with its razor sharp claws. Instinctively, Buffy backed away to avoid the slash
only to hesitate as she balanced precariously at the edge of hole. Buffy
screamed as she felt the claws tear at the tender skin of her throat. The pain
caused her to lose her fragile balance and she fell.



Distracted by her sister slayer’s scream, the demon Faith was fighting pushed
her towards the hole. Not realizing it was there, Faith was surprised when she
didn’t hit the ground when she expected to – and wasn’t prepared when she did.
Buffy heard the thud as Faith’s body hit the ground and Faith’s groan. Groping
through the near total darkness, she found Faith unconscious. Without any
light, she used to hands to check for wounds, and a sob broke from her throat
as she felt the familiar sensation of the thick fluid that clung to her hands.



Buffy looked up to see the demons covering the hole. She tried to climb the
sides of the hole, but the loose dirt couldn’t support her weight. She growled
her frustration and winced at the pain. Adrenaline had kept her from really
feeling the pain, but now Buffy was again aware of how badly she was cut. She
ripped a strip of cloth from her shirt and tied it around her neck – hoping it
would stop the bleeding long enough for her to get Faith out of there.



The older Slayer’s eyes brightened as she remembered the cell phone her mom has
insisted on buying her. She reached into her pocket and breathing a sigh of
relief, dialled Giles’ number.



“Hello?”



“Giles?” was what Buffy tried to say but the pain in her throat caused the word
to get lost.



“Buffy, is that you? What’s wrong?”



Tears in her eyes, Buffy forced the words from her throat.



“Giles? Need help,” she whispered.



“Buffy, where are you?”



“Restfield cemetery.”



“I’ll be there right away,” Giles said in a rush and the phone line clicked.
Buffy sagged against the dirt wall of her prison, trying to remain conscious as
the pain and blood-loss began to make her dizzy.



It was the sound of Giles’ voice that brought Buffy out of her stupor and she
looked up eagerly hoping to see her Watcher. To her disappointment, the hole
was still covered.



Covered.



Buffy’s jaw dropped as she realized what Giles’ was yelling for. The demons
covered the hole and must have disguised it – he couldn’t find them. Buffy
looked at where the still form of her counterpart laid, and the Slayer’s eyes
hardened. If she could hear Giles’ voice, he must be close.



“Giles!” Buffy attempted to yell, and nearly collapsed from the pain. Her throat
throbbed, feeling as if it was being ripped from the inside out. But Buffy
continued to yell her Watcher’s name over and over again, until she wasn’t even
aware she was still doing it, completely lost in the pain.



After what might have been only a few minutes – but it felt like an hours to
Buffy – she felt loose dirt hit her head and looked up to see the worried face
of her Watcher holding a rope ladder.



“Buffy? Can you carry Faith up?”



Buffy nodded, not even bothering to answer verbally. Silently, she apologized
to Faith and hoped she wasn’t going to make the brunette’s injuries worse. She
lifted the younger girl into a Fireman’s carry and rested against the side of
the hole as a wave of dizziness rushed through her. Shaking her head slightly,
Buffy began to climb.



Rupert Giles let out a sigh of relief as he saw his two Slayers emerge from the
whole – and then blanched as he saw the front of Faith’s shirt covered in
blood. So taken back by the sight, he failed to notice the bloodied bandage
around his first Slayer’s neck. Buffy gave no mention to her own injury,
carrying her sister-slayer to Giles’ old car as they rushed off to the
hospital.



It was only as the doctors took Faith away that Buffy allowed herself to
succumb to the darkness.



******************



Buffy opened her eyes slowly, and wished she hadn’t as the bright lights hurt
her eyes. Retreating to the darkness, Buffy took a deep breath and opened her
eyes once more and took a survey of her surroundings. She looked to her left,
and smiled as she saw the sleeping figure of Faith.



Remembering the events of last night – at least, Buffy assumed she hadn’t sleep
longer than that – the blonde Slayer raised a hand to her now properly bandaged
throat, wincing as she tugged her IV line.



The door opened and the doctor entered. He looked up, surprised to find the
blonde girl awake. He kept his voice low, to avoid waking the other occupant of
the room.



“Hello, Ms. Summers, it’s good to see you awake.”



Buffy grinned and opened to mouth to speak but stopped when the doctor raised
his hand.



“It would be best if you didn’t try to speak.” The doctor looked around
nervously. He had hoped the girl’s mother would have arrived before she woke
up, but apparently Mrs. Summers was still out of town. He thought momentarily
of waiting for Mr. Giles, as the man had been acting as the girl’s guardian in
the mother’s absence but the man had gone home for a change of clothes – and
from the look in Ms. Summers’ eyes, she wasn’t going to wait for an answer.



“Ms. Summers, you were very lucky that the cut was as shallow as it was. A few
millimetres deeper and I wouldn’t be talking to you right now. However…”

He looked down at his clipboard, reaffirming what he already knew, “it did do
severe damage to your vocal chords. Mr. Giles explained what happened, and what
you did saved your friend’s life, but by yelling you aggravating the wound even
more.”



He took a deep breath and looked the blonde girl in the eye.



“I’m sorry, you will probably will never be able to use your voice again.”



The doctor continued on, explaining in detail the damage to her vocal chords
but Buffy tuned him out. Her mind was a whirl of emotion as she tried to grasp
what was happening, and what it would mean for her. She wanted to ask the
doctor questions…then realized that she couldn’t. Seeing the lost look on
Buffy’s face, the doctor reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small
notepad and a pen.



Buffy reached for it slowly and looked at it for a moment before writing and
holding it out for the doctor to read.



Mom?



“We haven’t been able to contact her yet, but Mr. Giles has assured us that as
soon as she returns he would get in contact with her.



Buffy nodded, remembering that her mom was in Los Angeles buying artwork for
the gallery. She looked over at Faith and wrote some more.



Is Faith all right?



“She lost a lot of blood, but there were no internal injuries or broken bones.
She’ll be fine in a matter of days. I have to go now, but a social worker will
be by later to explain some of the changes you’re going to have to make.” With
that the doctor left and the room was silent once more.



Buffy sat in her bed and listened. For the first time, she realized just how
deafening silence could be.



************************



Faith blinked and groaned as recognized the white ceiling.



Great, another hospital – what the hell happened?



She remembered talking with Buffy…then being surrounding by demons…then hearing
Buffy scream…



“B!” she shouted, sitting up in bed and looking around, relaxing when she saw
the sleeping form of her counterpart facing her. Assuring herself that Buffy
was all right, Faith checked herself over. No broken bones – a nasty cut on her
side but it was healing so no worries there. Looks like they both came out
intact.



There was a soft knock at the door, and Giles entered along with a middle-aged
woman. Faith stared at her curiously, recognizing the ‘governmental’ air about
the women. Faith had been chased by social workers before, and she knew one
when she saw one. The dark Slayer was fighting the impulse to make a run for it
when Giles gently shook Buffy awake.



Faith frowned in confusion.



Buffy opened her eyes, and smiled at seeing Faith awake, but the smile faded as
she saw the women standing slightly behind her Watcher. Sitting up slowly, she
turned carefully blank eyes towards them.



“Buffy, this is Edith Samuels, and she’s from the Social Welfare Office,” Giles
said, and then stepped back to allow Edith to shake hands with the blonde
Slayer.



“Hello Buffy, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Edith said, at the same time
signing with her hands.



Faith tugged at Giles’ sleeve and whispered harshly, “G, what the fuck is going
on?”



Seeing that Buffy was absorbed in what Edith was saying, he replied, “During
the fight Buffy received a cut to the throat, injuring her vocal chords –
permanently.” Purposely, he left out the part that Buffy had screamed for ten
minutes in order for him to find their location – the true cause of the
permanent damage to her vocal chord.



“Now, Buffy, you’re going to have to learn American Sign Language; let’s start
with the alphabet. This is an ‘a’,” she said, holding up a clenched fist with
the thumb to the side. Buffy just looked at her with a blank yet poignant
expression on her face.



“Buffy, you’re going to have to learn this in order…”



Buffy simply turned her head towards the door, which opened and Joyce rushed in
and drew her daughter into a tight hug – pulling back to check for serious
injuries, and hugging her again.



“Mrs. Summers? I’m Edith Samuels, I’ve been assigned to your daughter’s case,”
Edith said, holding out a hand. Joyce shook it hesitantly.



“I’m sorry, what case?” she asked in confusion. “All I know is that Buffy was
hurt…”



Giles cleared his throat.



“I felt it best not to give you the specifics over the phone. Buffy received a
cut to the throat…thereby damaging her vocal chords. Ms. Samuels has been
assigned to help Buffy adjust to the loss of her voice.”



Joyce looked at the other adults wide eyed, “But this is just temporary right?”



Giles just shook his head sadly.



“Mrs. Summers, you and Buffy will need to learn sign language in order for her
to communicate; though your daughter seems reluctant,” Edith said, giving Buffy
a sidelong look, who just stared vacantly back.



“Buffy, you need to learn this…” Joyce started but Buffy just closed hers,
s,
laying back down and waited for them all to leave.

<


Finally taking the hint, the adults went off to discuss the ‘situation’,
leaving Faith and Buffy alone. Faith listened, and when she was satisfied that
the ‘parentals’ were gone, she got out of bed and sat by the other Slayer.



“Come on, B, I know you’re faking it.”



A small smile appeared on Buffy’s face and she opened her eyes. Even after all
that had happened, it was worth it to see Faith safe.



God, do I have it bad.



“So…” Faith started, not sure what to say. Much of their relationship was based
on the banter between them – what were they without it?



Buffy was having similar thoughts. She looked at the small notebook the doctor
had given her and a tear escaped despite Buffy’s determination to hold it in.
Without thinking, Faith reached out and wiped the tear away with her thumb.
Buffy looked at her with shimmering eyes and Faith rested her palm on the
blonde’s cheek.



More tears followed, but Faith kept wiping them away tenderly. Never before had
Faith been so tender with her, and the older Slayer felt herself falling for
the brunette all over again. At that moment she wished nothing more than to
thank her sister slayer. She concentrated on their Slayer-connection, hoping
that somehow her feelings would make it to the other Slayer.



Faith suddenly felt a feeling of happiness wash through her and she almost
swore she heard her sister slayer say ‘thank you’.



“Fuck, B, was that you?”



The other slayer’s answering smile lit up the room, and Faith couldn’t help but
smile widely in return. Of course, Faith’s smile turned into a smirk as she
commented, “You know, B, if this works both ways you can benefit from my late
night rendezvous,” wriggling her eyebrows up and down suggestively.



Faith!



This time the dark Slayer ‘heard’ Buffy, and could literally feel the embarrassment
from the other girl as she turned bright pink. Despite herself, Buffy found
herself yawning as the drugs and the emotional upheaval she’d experienced over
the last twenty-four hours caught uph heh her. Faith noticed and began to sit
up sa, “G, “Get some sleep, B,” but was stopped by a hand on her arm.



Stay?



Buffy lifted up the covers in invitation, and after a moment’s hesitation Faith
crawled in beside Buffy. Carefully, she drew the blonde into her arms and Buffy
snuggled deeper, sighing contently. Faith listened as Buffy’s breath evened as
she drifted off into sleep.



The dark slayer looked at the girl in her arms and she wondered when all those
carefully constructed barriers around her heart were breached. Faith hadn’t
noticed it was happening until it was too late – she had fallen for the blonde
Slayer. Faith chuckled softly to herself; all those years of never letting
anyone in – and all it took was a petite blonde with a cute pout.



Unfortunately, that same blonde had no idea she had done it. Of course, Faith
had no one to blame but herself; always talking about her conquests and being
all about ‘get some and get gone’. So she pushed her feelings down and kept
telling herself that having Buffy as a friend was better than nothing. And she
tried to ignore that little voice in her head that told her that she would
always have nothing if she didn’t give it a shot.



*********************



Buffy sat in a chair at the library staring out at nothing. She’d been released
from the hospital the day before but hadn’t felt like hanging around the house
all day. Especially since all her mother did was try to use sign language – as
if Buffy had lost her hearing as well as her voice. The Slayer stroked the
small scar that was all that was left of her injury; her Slayer healing taking
care of the cut even if it couldn’t fix her voice.



She was broken from her reverie by the sound of footsteps, and grimaced
inwardly at the thought of seeing Willow and Xander. Right now, she couldn’t
deal with making them feel better about what had happened to her. The steps
stopped, and outside she could hear their voices, along with Faith and Giles –
Giles was reminding the teenagers not to say anything that might upset Buffy
further. The subject of their conversation shook her head ruefully, wondering
how her Watcher and sister Slayer could forget that she did have Slayer
hearing.



Sighing, she placed a fake grin on her face and waited for the library doors to
open.



Willow rushed through the doors and pulled the Slayer into a hug, followed
closely by Xander. Buffy returned their hugs, the fake smile never wavering but
vacant eyes stared at Giles and Faith as they entered. The two shared a
concerned look, and the exchange went unnoticed by Willow and Xander.



“Buffy, I’m so sorry, and oh, look, it didn’t leave much of a scar, and I’ve
been looking up on the internet and I looked up American Sign Language and we
could learn it together, it’s pretty easy and I’ve already learned alphalphabet
and pretty soon it’ll just be like old times, only I’ll be babbling with my
hands instead of my mouth, kind of what I’m doing now, and Xander why aren’t
you stopping me?” Willow threw Xander a glare and the boy raised his hands in
the universal symbol for placating the female of the species.



“See, Buff, I already know some sign language, the rest will be a snap,” he
said with a goofy grin.



Slow.



Faith frowned as she felt the wave of sadness flow from Buffy. The Scoobies
were all gung-ho about learning sign language to talk to her again – you would
think she would be happy. And what did she mean by slow? There had been
something slightly off about Buffy’s reactions the last few days, especially
whenever the subject of learning sign language came up.



Faith watched Buffy carefully as Willow went through the alphabet. The blonde
quietly watched her best friend, her expression unchanging as Willow forced her
fingers into the proper positions. The dark Slayer’s gaze drifted back to
Willow, secretly memorizing the girl’s hand movements.



“And this is a ‘p’,” Willow said, crossing her index and middle fingers.



Wrong.



Faith looked at Buffy sharply, but the other girl gave no outside indication
that Willow had made a mistake. Besides, how did she know it was wrong, wasn’t
Buffy boycotting the whole sign language thing? Not for the first time, the
dark Slayer wondered what was going on in that blonde head of Buffy’s.



The bell rang and the Scoobies went off to their classes, leaving the Slayers
and Watcher alone in the library. Giles and Faith turned serious looks on Buffy
and inwardly she groaned, sensing a lecture coming.



“Buffy, I know this is a difficult transition for you, and I know you’re scared
about having to learn an entirely new way of communicating…”



Buffy shook her head.



Wrong.



“B says that’s not it,” Faith volunteered. Giles looked startled for a moment,
having forgotten about the Slayers’ ability to communicate then continued.



“Then why?”



The library doors burst inward as a young woman kicked them open. Smiling
widely, carrying a cooler in one hand and a plastic bag in the other, the long
dark-haired beauty smirked at the stunned group. Sauntering over, she collapsed
into the chair opposite of Buffy who was staring at the new arrival in open
shock. Still grinning widely, the early twenty-something woman rested her boots
on the table and casually opened a bottle of Pepsi.



“Okay, let let’s have it.”



Faith was about to tell the newcomer off when a smile blossomed on Buffy’s face
and lit up the room.



And Buffy’s hands flew creating words and ideas as she began to pour out
everything she wanted to say but hadn’t had the voice to utter.



TBC