Healing

Title:Healing
Pairing: S/X
Author: james chick
Summary: Xander tries to help Spike heal after he is hurt.
Feedback: Yes please.
Warning: This story deals with rape and homosexual relations, if this bugs you....don't read it.
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: None of the characters mine. If they were, Spike would be chained to my bed. ;-)
Dedication: For Marta, because she always makes me smile .

He almost didn't go out that night. He was sooo tempted to put it off until tomorrow, he'd pay the late charge at the video store. But then he remembered that he had rented the movies on his parents account because he already had a late fee on his, and that if his parents realized he was still authorized to use their account they would take him off immediately. So that was why Xander was running through the park at 11:45 at night in Sunnydale, he had fifteen minutes to get the movies back.

A noise off in the distance alerted him to possible danger, he stopped and held his breath listening for what could possibly be trouble. He had a stake; he wasn't that stupid, but he was alone after all.

He soon realized that the noise was just a bunch of drunken college guys shouting and laughing further ahead in the darkness. Nothing to worry about there. He continued on his way to the video store.

Xander was feeling pretty good, having made it to the video store with five minutes to spare. He headed back to his apartment, making his way through the park once again. He wanted to make sure the drunken frat boys weren't attracting any of Sunnydale’s unregistered voters.

They were in exactly the same spot as when he'd come through the first time. This having peaked his curiosity, Xander wandered over to see what was going on. As he got closer he could make out the voices better and started to understand what was going on.

"Oh yeah, you like that don't you bitch."

"Hold onto that leg, damn it!"

"Hurry up. I'm next!"

"Gonna fuck you so hard you'll bleed to death!"

Xander felt sick, he should have checked this out before returning his movies. He ran toward the group of boys, intent on rescuing the poor girl they were obviously raping. Sometimes, in Sunnydale, you forgot how evil the humans can be.

What Xander saw when he got there made him sick. The poor 'girl' the seven boys were attacking was Spike. Spike who stood even less of a chance against seven drunken frat boys than a girl would have. He was being raped from behind by one guy while another was fucking his face. Two of the other boys were holding his legs apart, while the other three cheered them on.

Xander knew in his heart that Spike was evil, and probably deserved to be tortured and beaten, but no creature deserved this. In all the tales Spike had ever told Xander of his glory days, he never mentioned raping anyone, he didn't seem the type. Xander knew the type, hell he was related to, and had first hand knowledge of, the type.

While these thoughts were crashing through his brain he was frantically searching for a weapon. He had a stake, but these guys were human. He found a metal pole in the trash bin nearby and rushed the boys that were violating the helpless vampire.

Xander had not only the element of surprise, but he was sober. He hit the one who was fucking Spike over the head before anyone even knew he was there. The boy dropped like a stone. The one currently shoving his cock in the vampires mouth was the next to fall. The two boys that had been holding Spikes legs dropped the vampire and then they all attacked Xander. It took every bit of training and instinct he had to avoid being grabbed by the remaining five drunks. A swift blow to the nuts with the metal pole brought it down to four against one.

Xander couldn't afford to chance a look at Spike but he could hear the pained moans coming from the direction he was in. He saw one of the boys reach into his jacket, figuring the kid was going for a weapon, Xander swung out at him as hard as he could. The boy dropped, a gun in his hand, and Xander prayed that he would get out of this unharmed. He went for the gun, one of the remaining three rapists went for it as well. There was a brief struggle and a shot was fired. The last two boys ran off into the night.

Xander rolled off of the boy, his chest covered in blood. He felt for the boys pulse, nothing. Shit! He looked around him, the other two boys had run off and the one he hit in the nuts was struggling to his feet. He staggered toward the boy and hit him over the head, hard.

Xander knew that the gunshot would attract attention, and not necessarily the friendly kind. He looked around for Spike and spotted him still lying on his face in the grass. He rushed over to him and flipped him over. He hadn't been prepared for the sight that met him.

Spike's clothes had been ripped pretty bad during the attack, he had been beaten, raped, stabbed in the gut, and was bleeding profusely from not only his stab wound but from his ass as well. The vampire was in bad shape, he needed blood and they needed to get out of there.

Xander dragged Spike over to the rapidly cooling body of the dead boy and shook Spike to rouse him. Spike opened his eyes, a look of terror crossing his face. He saw Xander and the look changed to one of confusion and eventually relief.

"Spike, man you're in bad shape, and we have to get out of here. You need blood. This is it, so chow down."

Spike looked at the body he was lying next to and recognized it as one of his attackers. He growled, vamped out and sank his fangs into the boys neck. The blood was still warm and he needed it desperately. There wasn't a whole lot there, what with the gunshot wound, but it was enough. Spike withdrew his fangs and tried to stand.

Xander pulled Spike to his feet and tried his best to get Spike covered. His shirt was in tatters and the pants wouldn't do up as the zip was busted and the button was missing. He settled for buckling Spike's belt and pulling his duster closed.

The scent of blood in the air was drawing the predators so Xander grabbed Spike's arm and led him out of the park as fast as he could. He knew that the four unconscious frat boys would most likely be dinner for some vampires or other assorted nasties, but he somehow couldn't bring himself to care. The only thing that mattered right now was getting Spike somewhere safe.

Xander took Spike to his apartment, the crypt was too far and he didn't feel right about leaving Spike by himself after that. Besides that fact, he didn't want to be alone right now. As long as he had Spike to think about he wouldn't have to face the fact that he'd killed that boy. Sure it was self defence, but he'd never killed anyone before. Not anyone human at least. What bothered him even more was that he didn't think twice about dragging Spike over to the body to feed. He'd left those others knowing that they would most likely be killed. Didn't that make him just as bad as them? No, he decided. They deserved what they got, all rapists deserved to die horribly.

Spike was totally silent the entire way back to the apartment. He leaned heavily on Xander for support, he was still weak from the blood loss and the radiating pain shooting through his body. He didn't even realize where he was until he heard Xander invite him in.

Xander led Spike into the bathroom and leaned him against the wall as he ran a hot bath for the vampire. He then pulled his bloodied shirt off and threw it in the garbage. Once the tub was full he told Spike that he was going to help him to undress and get in the tub. Spike was surprisingly compliant, he didn't help Xander remove his clothes but he didn't fight it either. Xander helped Spike into the tub and began to gently cleanse him.

It took almost half an hour to get Spike clean and out of the bath, neither man made eye contact or spoke the
entire time. Spike tensed briefly when Xander pulled him up out of the water to wash his abused anus. Xander washed him quickly but thoroughly as gently as possible and then pulled the plug, draining the dirty water. He stood Spike up and turned the shower on to rinse him.

Once the vampire was clean and rinsed Xander led him out of the bath and set to work drying him and bandaging his wound. He then left him in the bathroom while he fetched some sweats from his bedroom for Spike and a clean shirt for himself. He dressed Spike and took him over to the sink. He pulled a new toothbrush from the medicine cabinet and put some toothpaste on it before handing it to Spike.

"Here, brush your teeth. I'll be back in a minute."

Spike nodded and took the tooth brush as Xander left the room. Having done all he could to make the vampire feel clean again, something he understood all too well, Xander went to the kitchen and pulled a cold beer from the fridge. He drank it down quickly and then rummaged through the cupboards until he found the bottle of whiskey he'd bought after Anya left him. He never ended up drinking it though. The smell reminded him of his father and didn't exactly stir up fond memories.

~FLASHBACK~

Foul breath, smelling of whiskey, cruel mouth pushed against his own. Tongue forced into his mouth, the taste even worse than the smell. The revulsion of knowing what was going to happen, hearing the sound of a zipper being lowered. Knees cracking against the concrete floor. Tugging sensation as his pants are pulled off. The pain, the excruciating fucking pain of being taken dry and unwilling. The humiliation of not being able to stop him, knowing that this might be the time he kills him when he's done. Praying that it is.

~END FLASHBACK~

Xander shook his head to clear the disturbing thought away, he took the bottle into the living room and set it on the coffee table. He then headed back down the hall to the bathroom, to Spike.

Spike had finished brushing his teeth, both in game face and human. It helped, but it wasn't nearly enough. He needed to burn the taste of those humans from his mouth. Xander had been surprisingly supportive during the whole ordeal. He didn't know what to make of it. The fact that the boy knew what he needed to do was a sure sign that he had experience in this area. Maybe that was why he was helping him. Right now he didn't care; Xander had saved him tonight, hell the boy was taking care of him! He could have dumped him in his crypt and left, but he'd brought him home with him, bathed him even. He wondered if the boy had any idea how grateful he was.

Xander knocked on the door before pushing it open. He noticed that Spike had fished brushing his teeth and was now just standing at the sink with a blank look on his face.

"Hey Spike. I'm going to take you out to the front room alright. We'll watch some TV, I've got a bottle of whiskey you're more than welcome to. Hell, I'll let you smoke inside even. Okay?"

Spike nodded and allowed Xander to help him to the sofa. His ass was still sore and moving hurt, but Xander seemed to understand that and took it slow. He put a soft pillow down on the couch and helped Spike to sit on it before opening the whiskey and handing it to him.

Spike took a healthy swallow from the bottle, feeling it burn the minor cuts in his mouth. It felt good, like it was washing away the nights earlier events. All he wanted now was a cigarette.

Xander seemed to read Spike's mind as he pulled out an ashtray, kept for guests of course, and set it on the table. He went to Spike's duster and searched the pockets until he found a package of cigarettes and a lighter. He handed these to Spike as well and watched the look of gratitude pass the vampires face again.

Spike shook a cigarette from the pack and put it in his mouth. His hands were shaking slightly and therefore he wasn't able to light his lighter. The harder he tried the more his hand shook. He was grateful when Xander took the lighter from his hands and lit his cigarette for him.

The whiskey and the cigarette were working wonders for his state of mental health, Xander flicked the TV on to some cheesy sitcom and they watched in companionable silence. Halfway through the bottle and about three cigarettes later, Xander got up and went into the kitchen to grab himself another beer.

As he stood looking into the fridge, he realized he didn't have any blood here for Spike. He would have to get some tomorrow morning as he wasn't sure how long Spike might be staying. He sure as hell wasn't going to send him away the way he was acting. The vampire hadn't spoken a word since he'd been attacked. No, not attacked, raped! An attack makes you think of a fight, punches and kicks, your run of the mill violent episode. There was a big difference, he would take an ass kicking any day over a rape. He remembered the last time it had happened to him.

~FLASHBACK~

Xander was in his basement apartment packing. He had found a new apartment and would be leaving by the end of the week. He was happy, he had a good job, a beautiful girlfriend and was finally, finally getting out of this hell hole! Anya had gone home an hour before to start packing her things as well. He heard the front door upstairs bang open, the loud footfalls echoing throughout the house, his mother was most likely passed out in the closet of his old bedroom. Her place of refuge when he was out drinking. He prayed that the old man was drunk enough to pass out. He wasn't that lucky, the door to the basement was flung open and his father stumbled down the stairs.

It was blessedly quick this time. His father had walked up to him, punched him hard in the face and Xander fell down. He was flipped over, his boxers torn off and driven into savagely. He bit into his fist to keep from screaming, the screaming just made his father pound him harder. With a grunt, his father came and then pulled out. He kicked Xander viciously in the side of the head and left. Xander passed out.

When he came to hours later, he was bleeding from a gash on his head and a tear in his ass. It wasn't as bad as he'd had before and he knew he didn't need a doctor. He ran a bath, as hot as he could stand it and scrubbed himself raw. He didn't cry. He hadn't cried afterwards for years now. There was no point, no one cared because no one knew, and he didn't want them to.

~END FLASHBACK~

Xander grabbed another beer and went back out to the living room. Spike was still watching the TV, or at least it looked like he was, and drinking the remainder of the whiskey. He hoped it was helping him, he honestly didn't know what else he could do for the vampire. He needed to take his clues from Spike, but Spike was being extremely quiet, and passive. He didn't know if he should bring it up or not. Finally he decided to just leave it alone for now, if Spike wanted to talk about it he would. He picked up the remote and flipped around the channels, settling on a soccer game on ESPN he sipped his beer and tried to ignore the fact that he had shot and killed a man tonight, and he didn't regret it in the least.

By the time Xander was ready for bed Spike still hadn't said anything. He'd finished off the whiskey and had joined Xander in drinking beer. Xander went to the linen closet and got some blankets and an extra pillow. He came back to the living room and set the linens on the couch beside Spike.

"I'm going to bed Spike; I brought you a pillow and blanket. I'd like it if you stayed. Two of those... well they got away. I'd feel better if you didn't leave. Okay?"

"Okay."

Xander was stunned. He hadn't really expected a reply, not a verbal one anyway. The most he'd gotten from Spike all night was a nod or a headshake.

"If you need me... if you need anything, just yell. Or come and get me if that doesn't work. I'll leave my door open. The curtains are closed so you should be safe from the sun in the morning. Goodnight Spike."

Xander hoped he could fall asleep before his conscience had time to make itself known. He needed the sleep and he couldn't deal with guilt right now.