schedule
July 5, 2003 at 12:00 AM
First, a nitpick: you did mean "Buffy" instead of "Bud" right?
I didn't quite get how this was a birthday present for Buffy? I mean, was she sitting in a corner watching? It's a PWP so i'll excuse the lack of any explanation of Buffy wanting to see two guys going at it, but shouldn't be shown to be present, not just mentioned in "It's Buddy's birthday and I thought we should do something nice for her."
The whole thing feels forced. I understand that it's a PWP, and i can totally get behind PWPs, but it just didn't work for me.
I didn't quite get how this was a birthday present for Buffy? I mean, was she sitting in a corner watching? It's a PWP so i'll excuse the lack of any explanation of Buffy wanting to see two guys going at it, but shouldn't be shown to be present, not just mentioned in "It's Buddy's birthday and I thought we should do something nice for her."
The whole thing feels forced. I understand that it's a PWP, and i can totally get behind PWPs, but it just didn't work for me.
schedule
July 5, 2003 at 12:00 AM
No. I didn't mean Buffy. This was written for an on-line friend (Buddy) for her birthday. She's a fellow slasher like myself. Sorry if that confused you. I thought the title and the summary pretty much explained that.
schedule
December 27, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. A little more details, and this will be an excellent story.