schedule
December 31, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I saw this a few weeks ago on sicktwistedfanfic in Yahoo Groups, but have only just got round to reading it. And I'm glad I did.
Some minor criticisms first - perhaps its a personal view but in day to day conversation (rather than dirty talk) I don't think Buffy as a big swearer and in this she does seem to cuss a lot
Also I can see why you said in the intro that Dawnn wouldn't get harmed, but it did reduce the suspense. Also the comment about Buffy making an error is a spoiler and slightly ruins the surprise when the error comes.
Chapter 3 has an excellent start - that's a real curve ball to the reader that it's Buffy who is a lesbian with a secret crush on Willow and Chapter 7 - what can I say but excellent.
I really look forward to the follow-ups - brilliant stuff.
Some minor criticisms first - perhaps its a personal view but in day to day conversation (rather than dirty talk) I don't think Buffy as a big swearer and in this she does seem to cuss a lot
Also I can see why you said in the intro that Dawnn wouldn't get harmed, but it did reduce the suspense. Also the comment about Buffy making an error is a spoiler and slightly ruins the surprise when the error comes.
Chapter 3 has an excellent start - that's a real curve ball to the reader that it's Buffy who is a lesbian with a secret crush on Willow and Chapter 7 - what can I say but excellent.
I really look forward to the follow-ups - brilliant stuff.