rate_review Reviews

Almost perfect, but you ended the scene too soon. I wanted to see Faith eat Fred out.

Chapter 14 - Toy Examination: Fun Fred cameo. And I liked Toy's cheerleader routine. Ever since seeing Bring It On it's something of a fantasy of mine to see Eliza do those sexy cheerleader routine's bare-ass naked.

Disturbing yet sexy.
There is terrific action and emotion in this writing.

Chapter 13 - Celebration: Another excellent chapter. Toy got fucked good by the four males. It would've been nice to get more than a few paragraphs describing all the nasty things those young Slayers-in-Training did with Toy (I think a two parter would've worked best here, with the first part featuring Slayerettes/Toy and the 2nd part featuring the men fucking Faith), but overall still a very entertaining chapter.

Good work.

Yay, more Andrew! :-) I love that dynamic in this story, and the group stuff was hot and rough without getting overy nasty. More Andrew please!

I liked the milder rough play, but the cane beating and bloodwelts were almost too much. The fat men coulda been left out too.
8/10

Chapter 12 - Toy Demonstration: Wow, they really did a number on poor Toy. How humiliating for the once stubborn Slayer to be put on display like that by her strict Mistresses and having to let some overweight slob demonstrate sex-toys on her tight sexy body with dozens of crude customers watching, and even filming, her!

I do think you should've taken more time to write that final pussy-whipping scene (it deserved a lot more detail), but otherwise it was great. Lotsa degrading kinky scenes for Toy to endure.

Well done.

Chapter 11 - Bitch in Charge: Another excellent chapter. Kennedy sure is a sadistic bitch, being so rough with Toy's perfect titties and tight pussy - can't believe she actually double-fisted her!

Eager to see what other punishments & humiliation the two stern mistresses have in store for their Toy.

Chapter 10 - And Mistress Makes Two: Still think you could use a good beta-reader 'cause I noticed some mistakes, like Willow telling her Toy twice to "Deep-throat me" (first time should probably be something like: "Suck my cock, slut."). But overall a good chapter - you can't really go wrong with Willow & Kennedy wearing strap-ons and double-teaming Faith.

The sex scenes were hot and didn't seem rushed like they did in the previous two chapters. So good work.

Chapter 9 - Very nice. Love the ponygirl theme and Willow treating her Toy to a fling with the Summers sisters. But I wished you'd put a bit more detail in scenes and expanded them a little. Like with that ponygirl scene, you could at least have described ONE lap of Cordy riding Toy, but that was pretty much over right away. Same with the Summers sisters sex scene: much too short - you gave Andrew a lot more scenes that both these beautiful sisters, which just doesn't seem right.

So once again, I enjoyed the chapter but just like the previous one it seemed rushed.
It had the potential to be so much more.