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April 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is one of my favourite stories, not just on this website, but in the entire world.
It is very well written and contains my favourite thing in the world to write/read about, women dominating other women.
The original breaking and training of Faith is very well done, and I love chapters 4 and 10.
However I find some of the characters you have chosen to feature in the story a little weird.
For example in the case of the latest update you included the character of the Immortal, a character who was only used in one episode of Angel and then quickly written out in the official season eight comics. I could be wrong but I think that was because nobody liked the idea of the Immortal, I know I certainly didn't. So it seems odd to me to include the Immortal as Buffy's boyfriend when it is made clear that a decoy Buffy was dating the Immortal and not the real Buffy. That being said it's your story and I'm aware you are free to do as you wish. All I'm saying is it's a little weird to include the Immortal and not someone like Illyria who was a much more interesting character in my opinion and had a dominating attitude which would probably work very well in the context of your story. In fact there are a lot of Angel characters which could be very easily recruited by the Council or even just allies of Buffy who Faith could be pimped out too.
My only other problem with the story is that personally I just can't imagine Willow as a Dom. Don't get me wrong, I like Willow, she was a great character, and I loved it when she turned evil and originally I started to really by into her as a badass (and a Dom) but then that was ruined for me at the end of season six of Buffy. I mean one minute Willow was acting really cool and badassy and then all of a sudden she breaks down and cries because Xandre loves her no matter what, which was the worst ending of a season they've done in my opinion, not including that weird drugged up dream episode at the end of season four.
Then again my problem with Willow as a Dom comes from the TV series, and not this great story you've written.
In fact if anything could ever convince me that Willow could be a Dom it's this story.
As for Kennedy I just find her to be a bit of a brat and I really can't see her dominating anyone.
I've always been a big Faith fan, and although I think she's far more suited to the role of mistress than Willow or Kennedy reading about her acting so submissive and out of character is extremely erotic.
As I said this is a great story and my petty and over explained problems with it aside, I hope you keep it up with the same quality of the previous chapters.
I would love to see Faith doing role-play as a waitress or maid (complete with French maids outfit) or some other subservient role, possibly serving a party of guests.
I'd also like to see Faith get gang banged by a group of girls wearing strap on's, either a collection of the other female cast members or perhaps a group of the slayers.
Or even just an intimate night alone for Faith and her owners.
It is very well written and contains my favourite thing in the world to write/read about, women dominating other women.
The original breaking and training of Faith is very well done, and I love chapters 4 and 10.
However I find some of the characters you have chosen to feature in the story a little weird.
For example in the case of the latest update you included the character of the Immortal, a character who was only used in one episode of Angel and then quickly written out in the official season eight comics. I could be wrong but I think that was because nobody liked the idea of the Immortal, I know I certainly didn't. So it seems odd to me to include the Immortal as Buffy's boyfriend when it is made clear that a decoy Buffy was dating the Immortal and not the real Buffy. That being said it's your story and I'm aware you are free to do as you wish. All I'm saying is it's a little weird to include the Immortal and not someone like Illyria who was a much more interesting character in my opinion and had a dominating attitude which would probably work very well in the context of your story. In fact there are a lot of Angel characters which could be very easily recruited by the Council or even just allies of Buffy who Faith could be pimped out too.
My only other problem with the story is that personally I just can't imagine Willow as a Dom. Don't get me wrong, I like Willow, she was a great character, and I loved it when she turned evil and originally I started to really by into her as a badass (and a Dom) but then that was ruined for me at the end of season six of Buffy. I mean one minute Willow was acting really cool and badassy and then all of a sudden she breaks down and cries because Xandre loves her no matter what, which was the worst ending of a season they've done in my opinion, not including that weird drugged up dream episode at the end of season four.
Then again my problem with Willow as a Dom comes from the TV series, and not this great story you've written.
In fact if anything could ever convince me that Willow could be a Dom it's this story.
As for Kennedy I just find her to be a bit of a brat and I really can't see her dominating anyone.
I've always been a big Faith fan, and although I think she's far more suited to the role of mistress than Willow or Kennedy reading about her acting so submissive and out of character is extremely erotic.
As I said this is a great story and my petty and over explained problems with it aside, I hope you keep it up with the same quality of the previous chapters.
I would love to see Faith doing role-play as a waitress or maid (complete with French maids outfit) or some other subservient role, possibly serving a party of guests.
I'd also like to see Faith get gang banged by a group of girls wearing strap on's, either a collection of the other female cast members or perhaps a group of the slayers.
Or even just an intimate night alone for Faith and her owners.
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March 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Loved the cheer theme. Please the Star Wars theme I suggested next!
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February 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love the milk play in this chapter. Kudos!
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February 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 18 - Toy Shopping (1/2): I always enjoy the chapters in which Toy is publicly degraded and this was no exception. I especially love that the masochistic little slut is now actually enjoying the incredibly humiliating things her Mistresses have her do -- this somehow makes it even more degrading.
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February 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 17 - All At Sea: Not sure what to say... I didn't dislike this chapter, but it's certainly not amongst my favourites. The lesbian sex was good (it usually is), but the pirate role-playing didn't really make much sense and I'm not sure why you included it. Is it simply your plan to include some random role-playing scenario with whatever random Buffy/Angelverse character you've selected to fuck Faith? Because it's starting to feel like you're drifting away from whatever storyline this series used to have. And personally, I do like some plot with my fanfic porn.
My advice: come up with a good ending and gradually work towards it with every new chapter. If you don't I fear this story will soon turn into another boring plotless out-of-character fuckfest, thereby ruining the great potential this story had when you started it.
My advice: come up with a good ending and gradually work towards it with every new chapter. If you don't I fear this story will soon turn into another boring plotless out-of-character fuckfest, thereby ruining the great potential this story had when you started it.
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January 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You lost me after Willow said Faith was gonna screw an old guy. The kitchen play was great, but this was the first chapter I had no desire to finish. Thanks for thinking about my suggestions. :-)
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January 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 16 - Waiting for Service: I have to admit that I cringed slightly when I read that this chapter would feature Wesley's dad, but somehow you've managed to make it work. I liked this chapter better than the one before (even though I'm normally more into lezzie dom than plain ole hetero).
Good characterization. And I'm very happy that you explained Willow's reasoning for lending out Toy (aside from getting off on seeing Faith volunteeringly debase herself): Willow glared down at her, ?he?s another person you wronged before you learnt your place. You have a lot to make up for.?.
I kinda expected this one to be more kinky, though. I was especially surprised that there wasn't any spanking with Wesley's dad being an English authority figure (perhaps you considered it TOO obvious?).
Still, overall a good chapter. And I really liked the intro with Toy tied spread-eagled on the kitchen table getting fisted.
Good characterization. And I'm very happy that you explained Willow's reasoning for lending out Toy (aside from getting off on seeing Faith volunteeringly debase herself): Willow glared down at her, ?he?s another person you wronged before you learnt your place. You have a lot to make up for.?.
I kinda expected this one to be more kinky, though. I was especially surprised that there wasn't any spanking with Wesley's dad being an English authority figure (perhaps you considered it TOO obvious?).
Still, overall a good chapter. And I really liked the intro with Toy tied spread-eagled on the kitchen table getting fisted.
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January 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 14 - Toy Examination: I really enjoyed the new version of this chapter -- big improvement!
Chapter 15 - Lessons In Lust: I liked the beginning with Toy working out naked in the gym. The whole roleplaying thing with Amy Madison was a bit confusing, mostly because in season 8 of BtVS (comic) Amy is an enemy of Willow, so it felt weird to see her playing with Willow's Toy. Also, you didn't explain why Amy got to play with Toy and what her current "connection" to Willow is. Is she really a principal now and is Faith playing the naughty schoolgirl for her, or are they both playing the part?
I think you should put in some kind of explanation/exposition before getting to the roleplaying parts. Like what is Willow/Kennedy's motive for lending out their Toy. You explained this very well with Andrew and I really hope you'll continue to do so, instead of randomly picking out Buffyverse characters and letting them fuck Faith.
Other then that the sex was still hot, so good job there :)
Chapter 15 - Lessons In Lust: I liked the beginning with Toy working out naked in the gym. The whole roleplaying thing with Amy Madison was a bit confusing, mostly because in season 8 of BtVS (comic) Amy is an enemy of Willow, so it felt weird to see her playing with Willow's Toy. Also, you didn't explain why Amy got to play with Toy and what her current "connection" to Willow is. Is she really a principal now and is Faith playing the naughty schoolgirl for her, or are they both playing the part?
I think you should put in some kind of explanation/exposition before getting to the roleplaying parts. Like what is Willow/Kennedy's motive for lending out their Toy. You explained this very well with Andrew and I really hope you'll continue to do so, instead of randomly picking out Buffyverse characters and letting them fuck Faith.
Other then that the sex was still hot, so good job there :)
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January 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
fantastic
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January 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
More naked workouts please:) But like Oric13 said, Amy made no sense with no real backstory. I'd love to see more andrew with some kind of Star Wars kink, and a more detailed Cordy scene.