schedule
May 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yay! A long wait but it was worth it.
schedule
May 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
good new chapter.. Looking forward to the next one!
schedule
May 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Very interesting. Have you been able to find a beta yet? Please update soon.
schedule
May 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Cool!! Really good!! this chapter is kind of short though!! can't wait for the next chapter!! please update soon!! and please can it have an happy ending for Xander!!
schedule
May 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
aaaahhhh!!!!!! you are such a ruddy tease!!!!!!!!! always ending it on a VERY anticipatory note. always leaves me sitting on the edge of my seat going GAH!! more!!!! loving the concept and the way its going. and of course, my favourite pairing ever!!! mmmm, sexy spike delectable xan and lickable angel, mmmmmmm.
i am thinking that maybe if i provide some constructive critisism that's positive, you may be inspired to write some more very soon? this has occasionally worked for me, sucking up can go somewhere at times. and as i have nothing else to do today except sit here fat and pregnant and read sexy fanfic, i am going to bore you with my opinion. as usual, if it unwanted opinion (take out the 'pi' and its 'onion'. hmm.) a rolled up newspaper to my nose is quite effective. 'bad bubbysbub!!'
vicky (addictedtobuffy) is right, you do occasionally switch to a present tense in the middle of past tense writing, but overall, not too much. plus although vic reckons that she is a shocker for this, she actually never does it anymore since i called her up on it, so its not that hard to correct yourself if you are watching for it. so don't get down about her nagging you to get a beta. (yes vic, i said NAG!! ah, grasshopper, i have taught you well! love your guts anyway babe. and as for the whole 'no scars after 10 years and he is still hot'- it's fanfic babe, we can do whatever we want!!) she's just smug that she has a beta, lazy arse b**ch that i may be.
i know everybody is shrieking for longer chapters but that is because we are all greedy buggers. we want more dammnit!! i would LOVE longer chapters, but move at your own pace darl, i know i am a super slow writer and a perfectionist, so if i actually posted anything (all as yet unfinished- i can't do that to people!!) i would be posting whatever i could finish, when i finshed it. so if we have to wait a week for a short chapter, that's ok, cause if its a case of, a shortie regularly or nothing for ages, you're better off with a shortie more often- keeps us hooked!!
sandy suggested a bit back that you flesh out the descriptions and expand the explanations a little. i thought this chapter was good in terms of giving the reader a good feel of the emotions of the characters POV and the situation that they were in. so you have done that a bit here and i actually find this chapter to be in need of no more than what you have. sometimes i find that less is more, it has its own charm. plus its the style you write and you will flesh out where you need to. but just make sure that what your readers get from it is a complete picture- they ain't mind readers, they don't necessarily see what you see with the info provided. so just make sure that there is enough there that we can get what you get- if you get me, lol. but chapter five was good. the information that was needed was provided here, and anything else i may crave is open for my imagination. so i say, keep going as you are. your writing will improve as you go anyway and you already have improved from chapter one to five. its all a grand adventure!!
overall, this fic is the one that i check 'latest' for everyday in the vague hope that you have updated. so UPDATE SOON cause i am dying to know what happens. love love love love. will volunteer cookies and foot rubs and complete adoration for more soon cause its sooo good!!you the chicky-babe!!!
MORE PLEASE-don't make me beg!!!
bubbysbub xoxo
i am thinking that maybe if i provide some constructive critisism that's positive, you may be inspired to write some more very soon? this has occasionally worked for me, sucking up can go somewhere at times. and as i have nothing else to do today except sit here fat and pregnant and read sexy fanfic, i am going to bore you with my opinion. as usual, if it unwanted opinion (take out the 'pi' and its 'onion'. hmm.) a rolled up newspaper to my nose is quite effective. 'bad bubbysbub!!'
vicky (addictedtobuffy) is right, you do occasionally switch to a present tense in the middle of past tense writing, but overall, not too much. plus although vic reckons that she is a shocker for this, she actually never does it anymore since i called her up on it, so its not that hard to correct yourself if you are watching for it. so don't get down about her nagging you to get a beta. (yes vic, i said NAG!! ah, grasshopper, i have taught you well! love your guts anyway babe. and as for the whole 'no scars after 10 years and he is still hot'- it's fanfic babe, we can do whatever we want!!) she's just smug that she has a beta, lazy arse b**ch that i may be.
i know everybody is shrieking for longer chapters but that is because we are all greedy buggers. we want more dammnit!! i would LOVE longer chapters, but move at your own pace darl, i know i am a super slow writer and a perfectionist, so if i actually posted anything (all as yet unfinished- i can't do that to people!!) i would be posting whatever i could finish, when i finshed it. so if we have to wait a week for a short chapter, that's ok, cause if its a case of, a shortie regularly or nothing for ages, you're better off with a shortie more often- keeps us hooked!!
sandy suggested a bit back that you flesh out the descriptions and expand the explanations a little. i thought this chapter was good in terms of giving the reader a good feel of the emotions of the characters POV and the situation that they were in. so you have done that a bit here and i actually find this chapter to be in need of no more than what you have. sometimes i find that less is more, it has its own charm. plus its the style you write and you will flesh out where you need to. but just make sure that what your readers get from it is a complete picture- they ain't mind readers, they don't necessarily see what you see with the info provided. so just make sure that there is enough there that we can get what you get- if you get me, lol. but chapter five was good. the information that was needed was provided here, and anything else i may crave is open for my imagination. so i say, keep going as you are. your writing will improve as you go anyway and you already have improved from chapter one to five. its all a grand adventure!!
overall, this fic is the one that i check 'latest' for everyday in the vague hope that you have updated. so UPDATE SOON cause i am dying to know what happens. love love love love. will volunteer cookies and foot rubs and complete adoration for more soon cause its sooo good!!you the chicky-babe!!!
MORE PLEASE-don't make me beg!!!
bubbysbub xoxo
schedule
May 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ahh you updated. I love it! it just needs to be longer chapter's. Am still waiting to be told how Xan wasn't guilty of cheating? Can you explain that please? I cna't wait for another update. please update soon!
~LadyVaughan
~LadyVaughan
schedule
May 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
awwww i feel so bad that xander is scared of spike and angel and i want to know WHY he was sleeping with those other two guys in another chapter. but this is really good. i look forward to you updates keep it going.
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
holy shit great first meeting. whats going to happen next? keep it comin
schedule
May 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
well, GAH!! update, woman!!!!! lovin it so far. this is my favourite pairing ever, and i noticed its listed as an mpreg, i have never been able to find an mpreg story in this pairing, so i hope you are sticking with it cause i have always wanted to read one. any way, i am intruiged, can't wait to read more. keep up the good work!!
schedule
May 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yeah this is really improving, good work with the emotions of the characters. One thing I've noticed is that you seem to have the same problem that I do by switching tense all the time. Might I suggest finding a beta, these are the types of things spellcheck can't pick up and just having someone read over and point out any grammatical errors can help the flow and enjoyment of your really great ideas. Please keep going with this I can't wait to see where you're taking it