rate_review Reviews

even for a pwp this is really lacking in any kind of story structure. Please be more considerate of your writing in future, you could learn a lot from reading other authors work - and looking at how they compile stories. Your story lacks description and depth, and to be honest, isn't at all good - sorry.

That was ao horrible why would anyone want to read a story where he treats her like that and she just sits back with her tail inbetween her hairy pu**y and takes it.. "Should i continue this?" thats a joke right?

please, please, do not continue.

I hope this was an attempt at the infamous "bad fic" genre because if it isn't I plead with you to stop right now and get a writing mentor. The sentence structure, capitalization and grammar need improvement. The characters do not seem true to the original characterization. I do not recognize your ?characters? as being remotely canon Buffy or Spike.

If you are serious about writing and the fic wasn?t just a ?joke? or having a fun time?. Get a reputable beta to look things over? they can help you iron out a lot of the problems.

Good luck!

um...wow.

Should you continue? In a word, no. First off, the grammer isn't all that great. Also, this story doesn't seem to be very well thought out. And while I do understand that your trying to go for pure smut, there has to be some motivation for the characters. Even if it's that they just horny. I'm sorry, but you need to really rethink this or at the very least rewrite it. Why don't you go read some of the other stories on this board that have a lot of hits, tons of reviews and a really high rating? This should give you some idea of what it takes to make a good story. I'm sorry if this seems a bit harsh considering that this is your first story, but please, seriously rethink this.

This is REALLY bad...DON't CONTINUE.

Should you continue?!!! Sorry, but please DONT!

If you want to write about fucking learn how to write first, if you gave this story some plot, and made the sex better that pump, pump, grunt I'm done, it would be better. There might be some good story with the whole master slave thing, but dont continue with the way you wrote the first "chapter". You can't really call those few lines of crap a chapter, or a teaser, because, apparently it teased no one.

NO please do not continue, no plot, no story, just YUCK!!!