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June 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
The constant switching between first, and thrid person naration is driving me nuts. One minute your writing it like the narrator is describing Fatiths POV, the next the narrator IS Faith and Buffy is the reader, then you suddenly switch back. Confusing as hell.
Other than that I love it. Story's fairly well thought out captivating. Looking forward to reading the last few chapters.
Other than that I love it. Story's fairly well thought out captivating. Looking forward to reading the last few chapters.
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December 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
more please.....
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September 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please please please please update Obsidian. It's a great read and it's been so long since you've written anything new (oh, could you please update 'corrupting kim' as well. love that story, too). just two technical critiques for 'obsidian.' 1) minor grammatical errors here and there i.e the misuse of your and you're; 'your' being the possesive form of you *your dog, your house* and 'you're' being the contraction of you & are *you're [you are] going to update these stories right?* . Prolly stuff you already know and something a beta reader would catch. 2) Your Point of View keeps shifting. You jump around alot between first and third person. One minute you're telling the story from B's POV and then suddenly we're into third person omniscient. Very jarring.
Otherwise, great story. *cheer* Write on
Otherwise, great story. *cheer* Write on
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May 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Love it! Okay so you do have some minor but very stupid grammar mistakes... but still YOU did GREAT!
So if you please grace us with more, more chapters ^_-
So if you please grace us with more, more chapters ^_-
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May 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Need more!!! I love this story!!!
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May 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i lurve it! *eagerly awaits the update*
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May 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
awe adorable. please update soon :) (or i kick ur ass ^_^ ) i heart you lol
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May 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Me like..lol,definitely still like..
The "I spoon you" bit was so funny,I can just imagine Faith whipsering it down the phone..
Update soon though,yeah?
Or you'll have one VERY cranky woman to deal with! (Just kidding,I just want the update!)
The "I spoon you" bit was so funny,I can just imagine Faith whipsering it down the phone..
Update soon though,yeah?
Or you'll have one VERY cranky woman to deal with! (Just kidding,I just want the update!)
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May 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey Ice, long time babe, not so long next time huh, and Im gonna keep my end of the deal I've almost finished "Not a sister thing" so you better come up with something to top that!
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May 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It's about damn time you updated this! Anyway great chapter and hope write more soon.