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December 7, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This is such a good story! Please continue, I want to know what happens next!
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December 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
...Anyone who isn't following this story is an idiot.
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December 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
great update, nice to see you back!!!! :)
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December 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Of course we're still reading! This has been a great story,sexy,touching,funny,and very well-written. Waiting to see what's coming next...you know what I mean. Updates now please.
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November 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
WOWIE!! Gave me MORE I want moooorrre... Hell that was so good that now I'm again in the need of a shower and some other clean pants.
Hurry up and update,update
Hurry up and update,update
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November 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
yay for fuffy sex! more more more!
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November 10, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Once again, it's been a while since I reviewed, and I was trying to figure out why. I think it's because everytime I click on this story, I get the preamble, which is basically along these lines: "I never would have believed this could happen to me, but then it did." And every single time, that first line says to me: "Don't read this story."
Now, like I've said before, you have some good writing here, some good retooling of s3 eps. Excellent Faith voice, good characterization. In this last chapter, Faith blowing up at Buffy in the library is a strong and believable scene. Angel has a good side and a bad side. There's three-dimensionalness to him that a lot of Buffy-love-interests lack in fuffy fics. The warm fuzzies are of the Extra Super Duper Warm and Softest Awesome Fuzzy variety, and I love the description of the kisses in the last bit of this part. So then, why, why, do I constantly click on this story and then think, "Don't want to read it"?
Well, partly, I think, it's the fast pace--skippiner ser stuff or fast forwarding, which makes me want to ins instead of read; and it's also the title and summary, along with that first line. I think titles and summaries are crucial, as is the first sentence. That's supposed to be your hook. Your writing's good, but your summary doesn't reflect that. The title, as far as I can tell, doesn't have much to do with the events of the story. And that first line's a killer, because it tells the reader right off the bat that everything's going to turn out fine. It says: "You don't need to read this story, because I'm telling you right now how it ends before it even starts." The whole story is told in flashback.
Now, please don't take this as a horrible, horrible criticism; it's more a matter of me reflecting on why I found it difficult to get into the story proper. Since I've figured it out, I know I'll remember this story, and I'll remember that I like it and want to read more. You've certainly set the hook to my flesh now. I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter. Overall, I'm just putting this advice out there for future reference. Titles and summaries are what make people click on your story. I, personally, give writers ONE SENTENCE to grab my attention. If they t, It, I may skim a paragraph, but most often clicking the back button is easier.
Anyway, I'm sorry if I sounded overly negative here. Again, that's not my intention. In fact, I hope I'm helpful. If I'm not, please feel free to tell me to shut up.
Now, like I've said before, you have some good writing here, some good retooling of s3 eps. Excellent Faith voice, good characterization. In this last chapter, Faith blowing up at Buffy in the library is a strong and believable scene. Angel has a good side and a bad side. There's three-dimensionalness to him that a lot of Buffy-love-interests lack in fuffy fics. The warm fuzzies are of the Extra Super Duper Warm and Softest Awesome Fuzzy variety, and I love the description of the kisses in the last bit of this part. So then, why, why, do I constantly click on this story and then think, "Don't want to read it"?
Well, partly, I think, it's the fast pace--skippiner ser stuff or fast forwarding, which makes me want to ins instead of read; and it's also the title and summary, along with that first line. I think titles and summaries are crucial, as is the first sentence. That's supposed to be your hook. Your writing's good, but your summary doesn't reflect that. The title, as far as I can tell, doesn't have much to do with the events of the story. And that first line's a killer, because it tells the reader right off the bat that everything's going to turn out fine. It says: "You don't need to read this story, because I'm telling you right now how it ends before it even starts." The whole story is told in flashback.
Now, please don't take this as a horrible, horrible criticism; it's more a matter of me reflecting on why I found it difficult to get into the story proper. Since I've figured it out, I know I'll remember this story, and I'll remember that I like it and want to read more. You've certainly set the hook to my flesh now. I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter. Overall, I'm just putting this advice out there for future reference. Titles and summaries are what make people click on your story. I, personally, give writers ONE SENTENCE to grab my attention. If they t, It, I may skim a paragraph, but most often clicking the back button is easier.
Anyway, I'm sorry if I sounded overly negative here. Again, that's not my intention. In fact, I hope I'm helpful. If I'm not, please feel free to tell me to shut up.
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November 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
NO NO NOOOO! you can't end it there! you are evil i say! but i love it so much! ya really gotta update soon! Im gonna go nuts waitign for this update! HURRY WOMAN!
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November 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
omg. this is amazing, update it plz!!
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November 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Sweet! Wow that was a good chap. I loved the way Angel said that stuff to Faith. I feel like that is something he would have done in 'real life'(ok so you know what I mean) and something he should have done in S3 if Faith hadn't been all bad slayer. And woo hoo! Yay for the Buffy Faith smoochies! The only thing I am thinking is that with Angel having just left, wont it seem like Faith is taking advge oge of Buffy because she is vulnerable? Like maybe the scoobs will think that or even Faith or even Buffy and she would get mad at Faith ahhh! Angst! Ok sorry im babbling. Really looking forward to the next update though. Oh and what are you going to do on fanfiction.net with the nc-17 stuff? Are you going to do the same story but just toned down or like continue differently? Ok im done now. Good work!