rate_review Reviews

It is going to be good when you get it going but you need longer more detailed chapters keep it up

I like your idea, and I hope you keep going.

It's good...keep going

Hey,
Just a few things...its really good so far, but write longer chappies! :D and another suggestion, dont use slang and make sure you read it over before you post, because I noticed a load of typos!
Cheers

You really need to seperate the chapters and make them longer. Your story has a very bad flow to it, it has no rhythmn. Also, it has a lot of technical problems such as punctuation, grammer and spelling.

You neo flo flesh it out more and don't post until you have gone over the story to make sure is is able to be read, because the conversations need to seperated by spaces to be easier to read and also to be seperated with actions to give it flow and rhythmn.

You should look into getting an experienced fanfic writer to go over your stories before submissions to check for errors and to make sure it is a good story. You have good ideas, but you need to flesh them out more and checr err errrors.

So good luck! Email anyone who has been on here for a while and they would be more than willing to give you some pointers.