schedule
November 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I loved the fic! I've read it a few times and have finally decided to review. I agree, that I wish you would seperate your paragraphs and shorten the moans. I prefer more descriptive orgasms than just OOHH etc. But I really enjoyed it ;-) I don't get what the big fuss is about writing about 16 yrs old chicks getting it on. Buffy had just turned 17 when she screwed a vampire (necrophilia!!). I kissed my first girl when I was twelve. A lot of my friends first had sex when they were 13-14. So I don't get what the big deal is. Great fic....thanx for posting it! =)
schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ok, points taken but please leave your email so I can reply directly
schedule
May 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I'm begging you...please start separating your paragraphs!!
Yeah! What IS 'Pure Unicorn'?
And, I gotta agree about the OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNHHHHHHHHH stuff. Just
shorten them a bit, or indicate the moan by saying 'she moaned' or 'he groaned' or
whatever. Cuz this just doesn't sound human.
Yeah! What IS 'Pure Unicorn'?
And, I gotta agree about the OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNHHHHHHHHH stuff. Just
shorten them a bit, or indicate the moan by saying 'she moaned' or 'he groaned' or
whatever. Cuz this just doesn't sound human.
schedule
March 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
1. NO!
2. Not a paedophile. All the girls are 16 which was stated quite openly in the opening which is the age of consent here in the UK. If you're a yank where the AOC is higher, well, then they're 17-18, whatever (AOC is 14 in Italy but I would never dream of writing a sex story with 14 year old in it). And yes, i fancy Dawn and co, as does Xander to judge by his dream and Willow to judge by her oggling Dawn dancing in 'Him' ("right there with you pal!"). Is buffy a paedophile? she has sex with RJ in 'Him' when she is 23 and he's 16? what would we say if that was Dawn and a 23 year old male teacher? besides it's only the girls with each other
so no, bollocks, I'm a thirty year old straight guy and I think it's perfectly fine to fancy sexually mature 16 year old girls, it's the caveman within us all, why we like Britney in her schoolgirl outift. of course i would never dream of actually entering into a relationship with one, that would be SICK and WRONG! (and ridiculous, what would we talk about? Pink? The OC?).
3. forgive me but the Oxford english dictionary has no standard spellings for orgasmic moans, if it did I would use them, maybe my lovers make different sounds to yours?
4. you object to all the girls suddenly turing bi-sexual. WHAT? this is FANFIC! where we live out our dreams and fantasies, how can you object? besides which i find nearly all girls to be pretty open to bi-sexuality, they're taught all their lives that it's OK to be physically intimate with another women from the moment they breastfeed
5. My Dawn/Amanda letter segment was not an add on, it was the whole point of the story and reduced several readers to tears over on fanfiction.net (read the reviews). i adored Amanda she was so shy and sweet and it was nice to see that all Slayers weren't automatically gorgeous hotties like Buffy/Faith/Kendra
oh and I don't know what Pure Unicorn is and I don't need moral lectures from someone who writes erotic fic about mass murdering monsters like lestat! (which I thought we weren't allowed to do anyway?)
2. Not a paedophile. All the girls are 16 which was stated quite openly in the opening which is the age of consent here in the UK. If you're a yank where the AOC is higher, well, then they're 17-18, whatever (AOC is 14 in Italy but I would never dream of writing a sex story with 14 year old in it). And yes, i fancy Dawn and co, as does Xander to judge by his dream and Willow to judge by her oggling Dawn dancing in 'Him' ("right there with you pal!"). Is buffy a paedophile? she has sex with RJ in 'Him' when she is 23 and he's 16? what would we say if that was Dawn and a 23 year old male teacher? besides it's only the girls with each other
so no, bollocks, I'm a thirty year old straight guy and I think it's perfectly fine to fancy sexually mature 16 year old girls, it's the caveman within us all, why we like Britney in her schoolgirl outift. of course i would never dream of actually entering into a relationship with one, that would be SICK and WRONG! (and ridiculous, what would we talk about? Pink? The OC?).
3. forgive me but the Oxford english dictionary has no standard spellings for orgasmic moans, if it did I would use them, maybe my lovers make different sounds to yours?
4. you object to all the girls suddenly turing bi-sexual. WHAT? this is FANFIC! where we live out our dreams and fantasies, how can you object? besides which i find nearly all girls to be pretty open to bi-sexuality, they're taught all their lives that it's OK to be physically intimate with another women from the moment they breastfeed
5. My Dawn/Amanda letter segment was not an add on, it was the whole point of the story and reduced several readers to tears over on fanfiction.net (read the reviews). i adored Amanda she was so shy and sweet and it was nice to see that all Slayers weren't automatically gorgeous hotties like Buffy/Faith/Kendra
oh and I don't know what Pure Unicorn is and I don't need moral lectures from someone who writes erotic fic about mass murdering monsters like lestat! (which I thought we weren't allowed to do anyway?)
schedule
March 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well well well. Haven't we got ourselves the textbook pedophile here. I mean, nothing like making the sixteen year old girls (sorry, tacking on that last bit doesn't exactly conceal your intent, you still intended for them to be children) fuck each others brains out. This is despicable. What's next, writing toddler porn when this kind of crap fails to get your rocks off? This whole damn thing sounds like something out of Hustler's worst, if not one of the other bottom-end low-budget porn mags.
And it's not even _good_ porn. "UNNNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJHJHHHHHJHJHJJHJHJHJ!!!!!11111!!!! IM CUMMMMMIIINNGGGG!" Oh yeah baby, yeah. Even if it _wasn't_ borderline child-porn, it still wouldn't be well-written or erotic in any way. Have you _ever_ been laid? Have you _ever_ known anyone to make noises like that, much less in all-caps? Do you know many women who will turn bisexual with no provocation and drop everything to have an orgy? Ever read stories where they've used better euphemisms? Ever read a sex scene that _works_? Ever noticed the astonishing coincidences between your dialogue and plot and that of Pure Unicorn?
Seriously, this failed on an erotica level, it failed on a literary level, it probably fails on a legal level, and it fails on a professional level. Go back to the drawing board, and read some good smut. Maybe then you might come up with something useful and erotic. "UUUUUUNNNNNNNGH ASAAAAAAUURURURURRGHHGHGHGGHGHGHGH" isn't it.
And it's not even _good_ porn. "UNNNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJHJHHHHHJHJHJJHJHJHJ!!!!!11111!!!! IM CUMMMMMIIINNGGGG!" Oh yeah baby, yeah. Even if it _wasn't_ borderline child-porn, it still wouldn't be well-written or erotic in any way. Have you _ever_ been laid? Have you _ever_ known anyone to make noises like that, much less in all-caps? Do you know many women who will turn bisexual with no provocation and drop everything to have an orgy? Ever read stories where they've used better euphemisms? Ever read a sex scene that _works_? Ever noticed the astonishing coincidences between your dialogue and plot and that of Pure Unicorn?
Seriously, this failed on an erotica level, it failed on a literary level, it probably fails on a legal level, and it fails on a professional level. Go back to the drawing board, and read some good smut. Maybe then you might come up with something useful and erotic. "UUUUUUNNNNNNNGH ASAAAAAAUURURURURRGHHGHGHGGHGHGHGH" isn't it.